CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


Need advice...OT

My boyfriend is great....except when it comes to money. He has a pretty good job, however I make more money. I have no problem with this and neither does he. He just doesn't seem to see that he has plenty of bills and loves to go out. Each month he is in the hole a little more. He has had to borrow money from me a couple times. I have suggested that he get a second job but he doesn't seem interested in that. Do you think telling him about a financial planning class may be helpful? His newest idea is that he is just going to stay in the house for awhile. That sounds good but is highly unlikely. Any advice?

Wed. Apr 19, 3:19pm

Add comment  
Stop giving him money!! You are enabling him to use you and spend more money!! If you are thinking about a future with this guy you better make damn sure that he gets his butt out of the "hold" before even thinking about marrying him. Dont let him drag you down!!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:21 PM

Add comment
Most marriages end because of disputs in money

I agree with the above poster.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:21 PM

Add comment

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:22 PM

Add comment
Definitely quit giving him money. If he knows he has a way to keep funding his going out and spending lots of money, then he wont have a reason to change his habits. Also, as the poster above said, it you plan on being with this guy long term, then you want him to have his financial habits straightened out. Money problems can be a huge stress on a relationship, and if you live together or get married then his financial problems can quickly become yours!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:30 PM

Add comment

Before you give him any more money,
you need to both stop, sit down and have a talk.
You are enabling him to be a reckless spender, and it is obviously
something that's going to be of concern (and is already a concern to you.)

Do you really want to be his sugar momma?
Eventually, the issue will become bigger and need to cut it to the quit NOW...

Note: If you get married and then divorced, It's possible he could get some of YOUR money that YOU earned.... It happened with a friend of mine. She was the primary breadwinner from day 1. She had the house, she had the pension (SHE put HIM through school). The odd thing was that HE controlled the money--eventually, it just didn't make any sense-- she NEVER had money, yet SHE made the majority!

Well, when they got divorced, he got 1/2 of the proceeds from the selling of the house AND 1/2 of her 401k!!! NOT fair at all, but I guess it had to do with income accumulated during the marriage...

Don't go down that path. I'm not a fan of Dr. Laura, but while flipping through the radio, I heard her telling a woman who thought her man could "change" after they got married... "WHY would HE change? You KNEW about how he was BEFORE you got married!!!" Can't teach an old dog new tricks!!!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:38 PM

Add comment
financial planning classes

i think financial planning classes are great no matter if your ontop of your fiances or not, maybe this could be something y'all go to together

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 4:30 PM

Add comment
Op here, this is the biggest coincidence ever! He called just minutes after I posted this and said that a lady called him back about a second job he is interested in! Thats just crazy. I still think financial planning would be good though.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 6:13 PM

Add comment
Some people no matter how much they make, they will spend too much, so a second job probably won't help. I hate to be the bearer of gloom and doom, but I speak from experience.
Before my husband and I were married, I used to loan him money all the time also, now that we are married it is the same thing. My advice is if you can't live with him living outside his financial means then get rid of him, because he will probably not change.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 7:16 PM

Add comment
my sister had a similar problem. And it turned out that her fiance was keeping a low paying job and floating in and out of unemployment because he just really wasnt interested in what he was doing. It was almost as if he wasnt keeping a steady job because he had an inner fear of getting attached to something that he didnt want to end up doing...even though it was what he went to school for, what he was good at etc. Its one thing if he seems happy in this lifestyle...but if he seems as though deep down he too is unsatisfied, I recommend talking to him about what his passions are, what his aspirations for the future are, what he wants his life to be like. sometimes motivation is a great kick in the butt....and its a much easier conversation to have.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 10:52 PM

Add comment
Op again. He isn't in his dream job but he has been in the same job for more than 5 years. I think its a good job although if he went back to college, he just may be able to get his dream job. He has plenty of bills like car, apartment, etc and that drains a lot of money each month. He just doesn't share the same views as I the bills get paid before there is any partying to be done. Maybe its a difference in the way we grew up. We will have to talk about it some more.

Thursday, April 20, 2006, 2:28 PM

Add comment

Explore Related Articles
Weight Loss Motivation   Sustainable Weight Loss
Weight Lifting    Hypnosis and Weight Loss
Emotional Eating   Help Losing Weight
Free Weight Loss Program   Weight Watchers Points  NutriSystem
How To Change Anything

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge