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Need advice...OT

My boyfriend is great....except when it comes to money. He has a pretty good job, however I make more money. I have no problem with this and neither does he. He just doesn't seem to see that he has plenty of bills and loves to go out. Each month he is in the hole a little more. He has had to borrow money from me a couple times. I have suggested that he get a second job but he doesn't seem interested in that. Do you think telling him about a financial planning class may be helpful? His newest idea is that he is just going to stay in the house for awhile. That sounds good but is highly unlikely. Any advice?

Wed. Apr 19, 3:19pm

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Stop giving him money!! You are enabling him to use you and spend more money!! If you are thinking about a future with this guy you better make damn sure that he gets his butt out of the "hold" before even thinking about marrying him. Dont let him drag you down!!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:21 PM

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Most marriages end because of disputs in money

I agree with the above poster.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:21 PM

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Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:22 PM

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Definitely quit giving him money. If he knows he has a way to keep funding his going out and spending lots of money, then he wont have a reason to change his habits. Also, as the poster above said, it you plan on being with this guy long term, then you want him to have his financial habits straightened out. Money problems can be a huge stress on a relationship, and if you live together or get married then his financial problems can quickly become yours!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:30 PM

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Before you give him any more money,
you need to both stop, sit down and have a talk.
You are enabling him to be a reckless spender, and it is obviously
something that's going to be of concern (and is already a concern to you.)

Do you really want to be his sugar momma?
Eventually, the issue will become bigger and need to cut it to the quit NOW...

Note: If you get married and then divorced, It's possible he could get some of YOUR money that YOU earned.... It happened with a friend of mine. She was the primary breadwinner from day 1. She had the house, she had the pension (SHE put HIM through school). The odd thing was that HE controlled the money--eventually, it just didn't make any sense-- she NEVER had money, yet SHE made the majority!

Well, when they got divorced, he got 1/2 of the proceeds from the selling of the house AND 1/2 of her 401k!!! NOT fair at all, but I guess it had to do with income accumulated during the marriage...

Don't go down that path. I'm not a fan of Dr. Laura, but while flipping through the radio, I heard her telling a woman who thought her man could "change" after they got married... "WHY would HE change? You KNEW about how he was BEFORE you got married!!!" Can't teach an old dog new tricks!!!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:38 PM

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