Take a tour
invite your friends
- Select Menu -
Invite your friends
My boyfriend is great....except when it comes to money. He has a pretty good job, however I make more money. I have no problem with this and neither does he. He just doesn't seem to see that he has plenty of bills and loves to go out. Each month he is in the hole a little more. He has had to borrow money from me a couple times. I have suggested that he get a second job but he doesn't seem interested in that. Do you think telling him about a financial planning class may be helpful? His newest idea is that he is just going to stay in the house for awhile. That sounds good but is highly unlikely. Any advice?
Wed. Apr 19, 3:19pm
Stop giving him money!! You are enabling him to use you and spend more money!! If you are thinking about a future with this guy you better make damn sure that he gets his butt out of the "hold" before even thinking about marrying him. Dont let him drag you down!!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:21 PM
Most marriages end because of disputs in money
I agree with the above poster.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:21 PM
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:22 PM
Definitely quit giving him money. If he knows he has a way to keep funding his going out and spending lots of money, then he wont have a reason to change his habits. Also, as the poster above said, it you plan on being with this guy long term, then you want him to have his financial habits straightened out. Money problems can be a huge stress on a relationship, and if you live together or get married then his financial problems can quickly become yours!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:30 PM
Before you give him any more money,
you need to both stop, sit down and have a talk.
You are enabling him to be a reckless spender, and it is obviously
something that's going to be of concern (and is already a concern to you.)
Do you really want to be his sugar momma?
Eventually, the issue will become bigger and bigger...you need to cut it to the quit NOW...
Note: If you get married and then divorced, It's possible he could get some of YOUR money that YOU earned.... It happened with a friend of mine. She was the primary breadwinner from day 1. She had the house, she had the pension (SHE put HIM through school). The odd thing was that HE controlled the money--eventually, it just didn't make any sense-- she NEVER had money, yet SHE made the majority!
Well, when they got divorced, he got 1/2 of the proceeds from the selling of the house AND 1/2 of her 401k!!! NOT fair at all, but I guess it had to do with income accumulated during the marriage...
Don't go down that path. I'm not a fan of Dr. Laura, but while flipping through the radio, I heard her telling a woman who thought her man could "change" after they got married... "WHY would HE change? You KNEW about how he was BEFORE you got married!!!" Can't teach an old dog new tricks!!!
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 3:38 PM
financial planning classes
i think financial planning classes are great no matter if your ontop of your fiances or not, maybe this could be something y'all go to together
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 4:30 PM
Op here, this is the biggest coincidence ever! He called just minutes after I posted this and said that a lady called him back about a second job he is interested in! Thats just crazy. I still think financial planning would be good though.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 6:13 PM
Some people no matter how much they make, they will spend too much, so a second job probably won't help. I hate to be the bearer of gloom and doom, but I speak from experience.
Before my husband and I were married, I used to loan him money all the time also, now that we are married it is the same thing. My advice is if you can't live with him living outside his financial means then get rid of him, because he will probably not change.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 7:16 PM
my sister had a similar problem. And it turned out that her fiance was keeping a low paying job and floating in and out of unemployment because he just really wasnt interested in what he was doing. It was almost as if he wasnt keeping a steady job because he had an inner fear of getting attached to something that he didnt want to end up doing...even though it was what he went to school for, what he was good at etc. Its one thing if he seems happy in this lifestyle...but if he seems as though deep down he too is unsatisfied, I recommend talking to him about what his passions are, what his aspirations for the future are, what he wants his life to be like. sometimes motivation is a great kick in the butt....and its a much easier conversation to have.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006, 10:52 PM
Op again. He isn't in his dream job but he has been in the same job for more than 5 years. I think its a good job although if he went back to college, he just may be able to get his dream job. He has plenty of bills like car, apartment, etc and that drains a lot of money each month. He just doesn't share the same views as I do...ie the bills get paid before there is any partying to be done. Maybe its a difference in the way we grew up. We will have to talk about it some more.
Thursday, April 20, 2006, 2:28 PM
Definitely talk about the money situation and how you plan to handle it. Sit down and help him look at what he needs to spend money on, and what he wants to spend money on. If you're going to have a future together, you need to come to an agreement on finances.
Before we got engaged, my fiance's parents gave him money every month to help him "make ends meet," because he couldn't afford to "live how he was accustomed" with the money that he made from his very good job. I discussed my concerns with him, and found that the situation really was very temporary. He knew that at the end of his first year and a half, he'd have a pretty much guaranteed promotion, with a big raise. He was very organized with his budget, but didn't have much that he could cut. Now, we're living together (saving money on rent), and he got his big raise, and I got a small raise, and we're not spending any more than we were before, so, in addition to not taking money from his parents, we end up saving several hundred dollars a month!
If your boyfriend is really irresponsible, though, and you're not comfortable with that, it will become a big stressor and may ruin your relationship.
Thursday, April 20, 2006, 2:41 PM
Money can hurt
My aunt married a man who basically has never worked a hard day in his life. When they got married, it was in the 70s and he would say that the reason why he couldn't get a good job was because of "the economy". Get this-- he had a degree in Accounting!!!!
Well, from day 1, my aunt made more money than he did....She finally decided that enough was enough and divorced him after being married to him for 20+ years.... To this day, he only has a part-time job at MINIMUM wage....
If your guy is not being responsible, and shows no signs of getting more responsible, don't make the same mistake.... If you continue to enable him, he will NOT change!
Thursday, April 20, 2006, 4:07 PM
Stay in the house? You mean not go out to clubs and dinner? Could be a great money saver - people can spend huge amount of money on this and not really realize what they are doing. Rent yourself the DVD of Suze Orman's Young, Fabulous and Broke and watch it together - maybe he will be inspired to watch his spending. Maybe it will start an interesting discussion. I'm not convinced like some of the posters that you should just dump him, or that this is doomed. Perhaps he is young and just needs some education about how to manage his money. Good luck and keep us posted!
Friday, April 21, 2006, 5:17 AM
new year calendar
real printable calendar
calendar printable 2017
blank calendar 2017
2017 free calendar
all calendar 2017
useful calendar 2017
schedule 2017 calendar
2017 schedule calendar
schedule calendar 2017
blank calendar 2017-18
map of usa
map of usa
Wednesday, February 01, 2017, 2:22 AM
How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight
How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer
How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources
Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner
How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition
New Diet and Fitness Articles:
Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:
Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule
Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions
Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
Everyday Weight Loss Tips
How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge
Introducing The PEERtrainer Cheat System
How To Speed Up Weight Loss
How To Get Motivation To Lose Weight
Weight Watchers: The New Science!
3 Myths About Weight Loss With JJ Virgin
Related Article :
New PEERtrainer Articles :
Why Green Tea Helps You Lose Weight
How To Lose A Lot Of Weight, Fast
5 Things You Must Know Before Doing A Cleanse
New: How To Build Muscle
What Is The Best Kind Of Protein Powder?
The Master Cleanse
Will Removing Gluten From Your Diet Help You Lose Weight?
How To Obliterate Your Limitations
How To Get The Motivation To Exercise
How To Stop Feeling Tired
Dr. Joel Fuhrman's Super Immunity Diet
The PEERtrainer Diet
Is Portion Control Keeping You Fat?
The Ultimate Guide To Dietary Fiber
P90X? Do Burst Training Instead
Weight Watchers Points Changes For 2012
Can Diet Soda Cause You To GAIN Weight?
©2017 PEERtrainer, Inc.