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Desperate, tired, frustrated, depressed, angry, sad and hopeless...



I am desperate, tired, frustrated, depressed, angry, sad, and hopeless. These are the first feelings that come to mind in 2 seconds. I have tried every diet the world has to offer i would imagine from counting points to bodybuilding food and everything in between. I wasnt this hard before but I dont know what happened. I am not 18 anymore but still it is no excuse! I know people 80 years old who are more fit then me. I am tired of making up excuses... And i am tired of beeing tired all the time. No vitamin pills are helping and when i am tired, i dont want to do sports...just eat sweets.....oh god, what happened?!

One big reason for my frustration is, my husband is a athletic man and he works out every day from 1 to 3 times. Of course because of this, he can eat whatever he wants. And of course he loves to sit on the couch and eat chocolate, icecream and other sweets. He is a firefighter so he has lots of free time. I work 5 days a week for 9 hours as a hair dresser so my free time for excerice is limited. I get motivated 2 times a month. 1 week i work out like crazy, then comes the weekend, we go out and party on saturday, sunday is in bed with a huge hangover that carries on to monday. So the week starts with no energy and no exersice. Usually thet week i work out about 1 time. The next week i beat myself up for the last week and work out like crazy again and then have a nice day out on saturday again to celebrate my great work for the week. So as you can see i think i am in a bad cycle i have to get out of.

I have no moderation for anything. Its always everything or nothing. extreme.... i try to be more moderate and try to do things slowly but then i get bored and my motivation ends.

I have been trying to lose weight now for 3 years and i reached a peak of 70kilos. i am 164cm tall and 30 years old, a female. i know i am not very badly over weight but the doctor told me i have a chance of diabetes if i dont stop eating and gaining weight. i stress of my weight everyday and i feel so depressed i dont know what to do. I love going to gym, i have been doing it for 12 years now. i dont run. i love dancing but i moved to another country so i havent had the time to find a hobby with this. maybe saaturday night clubbing and drinking less could be an answetr ;) I now i feel better when i lose weight and when i weighed 56 i felt really good about myselff!! I could dress up and look good, go to the beach, what i absolutely love! my dream is to play beach volley with my husband on the beach with friends in my bikinis without haveing a fat stoumach that goes up and down and side to side... i am ashamed of my self... especially next to my husband who has a perfect six pack. he loves me as i am, and he has never said anything bad about my body. he is happy if i lose weight but loves me with the fat also. but he still always buys me sweets too... i dont know why. i think he just doesnt think about it. he also forgets i want to lose weight and because he has will power to say no, he thinks i do to. he is always telling me i have to try to learn to stick to the things i decide. but i cant!!!!!! i would if i could but i dont understand why i cant! my hand puts food in my mouth before my brain understands it.......


i really hope someone has some tips on what to do...


Sat. Jun 4, 1:00pm

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Hugs. Much love and support to you right now.

First... Ask your husband to support you.

Tell him that he must do this one thing for you. Tell him that you need him to stop bringing home the sugar. Ask him for extra love and support with just this one act of kindness and caring for you. It is hard enough kicking the sugar habit all on your own, but excruciatingly horrific if your partner keeps bringing it in your home... You are suppose to be safe in your home. A home should be nurturing. Your safe haven.

Once you get your home environment cleaned up (your husband can still eat all the sweets to his heart's content on his work days at the station) you can slowly begin eating healthy for energy and vitality! Don't worry about weight loss just yet. It will come! But first you need to get your health and energy back. And happiness is the added bonus that comes with all this! So, an entire overhaul sounds intimidating and daunting... So don't think or do that. No crazy big scale changes. Think small. Small baby step changes. One small baby step change in your diet routine. Every single week. These small changes will snowball and avalanche! You will get there... Just take it slowly.

The husband will probably meet you with resistance at first. Mine did. It took him a few months before he finally came around. I hope your husband can see beyond his immediate sugar pleasures to see the pain you are in right now... Ask him for his love and support. Let him know that you really need this!! Have him read this thread.

I told my husband that I really needed this from him. I asked to not have any junk in the house for at least three months... Until I was strong and secure enough in my new healthy eating to not be tempted... And then three months later I asked for another 3 month extension on the junk food ban at home (all the while he could get his fix outside the home, at work)

Hope this helps or generates ideas that work for you.

Saturday, June 04, 2011, 1:32 PM

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Thank you so much for your reply! It really made me feel like there is some hope:) Now I just need tips on what to do.. I will tell my husband to read your reply if it would give him some sense in his head! As you said, he can get his "fix" at the station.

Its hard to think think small when your used to thinking to big and going filled with exitement into a nes diet and life changing situation. I have now tried to do small thiings and actually i have managed to take out carbs from my diet during the last year. I still eat rice, pasta and bread but not every day. Atleast i think so, i think i need to start righting dowm what i really eat. i am cleaver in fooling myself and forgetting i ate a whole bar 200g of chocolate or something...

I have noticed that even though my cravings are really bad, i dont go to the store anymore and buy just candy or junk because of my cravings. but if i have them at the house, there is no stopping me!

Have you succeeded in getting to your goal or closer atleast? Tell me what you have done:) I would love to hear someone who knows what im going through.

Saturday, June 04, 2011, 1:46 PM

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1:32 here

The junk food ban lasted about two years. Now when my husband brings stuff home, it is very minimal. It isn't a problem for us anymore. And I really made it a point to emphasize that I needed his support, that if he was on my team, he would do it for me. I told him, "You are either with me or against me!" We can laugh about it now... That was almost 4 years ago... Almost 70 pounds ago....

Saturday, June 04, 2011, 1:47 PM

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There is hope. You're here and you're focused and you're doing the right thing.

Saturday, June 04, 2011, 6:20 PM

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Hi.I know what you are going through! You are too hard on yourself as I amtoo.I think your husband will come around and support yuo. Sometimes people just do not think that junk food is bad for other people especially since they do not gain weight because they are physically active and may have a fast metabolism, You are lucky that he loves you as you are and now is the time to take off the few extra pounds so you will feel better and not worry so much about all the other things. Put on a pair of cute shorts and a cute top and play vollyball with your hubby and friends and before you know it the weight will come off. Dancing is great too! Try weight watchers and get additional support from others that have similiar things going on in their lives. I joined last week and it really is a program that makes sense and you canlive a normal life doing it! My hubby is over weight and joined too! I hope this helps. God bless you and know that the struggle can be fun when you know others are going with you on this journey too! Sandy

Sunday, June 05, 2011, 11:17 PM

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A CRAZY IDEA !! and a bit unconventional-- once you get frustrated nothing works.... DON'T DIET.. add a green vegetable to every meal...keep a jug of lemon water close by. make your self eat all three meals, and make all your snacks healthy ones..... Exercise???? go out and search, try EVERYTHING, see what you like to do. But for ONE month make your exercise plan an experiment, even try some family tournaments, Badmitton !!!! I have been struggling with weight for so long, and I feel so much better that I am having success and not klling myself, I am doing the CheatSystem food plan, and just trying to intesify all my daily activity-- run up stairs, park far away from stores.minutes of exercise wherever I can fit it in. ***21 pounds GONE,
LAUGH, DO IT FOR YOU !!!

Monday, June 06, 2011, 8:01 AM

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Wow!

You sound just like me! I am also 164 cm tall, at 67 kg I feel terrible. I used to weigh 45-46 kg but when I quit smoking I gained a lot of weight. :-(
I want to weigh like 52 kg again, that was a good weight. My husband is one of those ppl that can eat and never gains weight. He has time o work out cuz I take care of the house, shopping and kids. We both work fulltime btw but I end up doing all the cooking and cleaning. That leaves very little time for workout, and I hate hate hate cardio and can't jog for 90 minutes like my husband does. I signed up at the gym a long time ago, but rarely went. In the summer I will be going to Japan where everyone is tiny and I will feel like a whale, and sumemr is coming up so I am desperately trying to lose weight.

I know EXACTLY what you mean about moderation, I am a virgo and we tend to be extreme in many things.

So, like you I am trying not to get discouraged. I started doing interval training because it's good cardio but you only need like 20 minutes for it. I've been feeling beter, although I haven't lost weight as it's only been a week.

Keep ur head up!!! U can do it!

Monday, June 06, 2011, 12:05 PM

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Thank you all:)

Hi everyone!

Im so happy to hear there are others like me:) Sometimes it feels stupid to complain about 10 kilos or 5 or 15. The weight is not killing me at least not now, but it will become an issua. And as long as you dont feel good, you have to do something!

I hope we can join a group together and "talk" and help each other through this difficult path! As we all know, we are good in starting these things, but not so good in following through!

Everyone, lets do it now! Not tomorrow or next week or after the party next saturday, but right now! Ok? :)


Monday, June 06, 2011, 1:44 PM

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Try Pretending...

This may sound strange, but I "pretend" that I do not like chocolate (or other fattening foods/snacks/desserts). Loudly, I say to myself or anyone in the vicinity, "I do not like chocolate.. it's dark brown and tastes terrible." Before I'm tempted to put it my mouth, I look at it and convince myself that I will enjoy a piece of fruit more than that "awful brown stuff". For me, this has worked very well. I'm no longer tempted. My husband accepts "the fact" that I do not like chocolate, so it never appears in the house. He has heard many times that I am not a dessert eater, so I don't make it any more. This has worked for me, maybe it will work for someone else.

Monday, June 06, 2011, 4:58 PM

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Pretending sounds fun:)

HI,
Your idea on pretending you dont like some foods actually sounds like something worth a shot! Actually for example, if you say no to cheesecake of chocolate at work, people dont believe you say no. They ask what is wrong, are you on a diet, oh come on eat some its good etc. And its so annoying!! You try your best and everyone trying to skrew it up for you. But if you say i dont like it, they leave you alone for good! GOOD IDEA!!!

One thing I have noticed is when you are on strict diet and you cant eat veggies or fruits like grapes, strawberries, pineapple, avocado or basically anything except, cucumber, tomato, salad, apples(that are not suitable for everyones digestive system) and other almost 0 calorie foods your mind gets very confused. I myself go to the store and crave for grapes, I could kill to eat a handfull but I cant because the book said I am not allowed because they have a lot of sugar. So the entire day goes thinking about the grapes and at somepoint you break and cant take it and buy a CHOCOLATE BAR or PACK OF BROWNIES!!! Where is the sense in that?! Im not sure if I am the only one who this happens too.

I actually thought about this just know and realized I do it very often. If you think what is the long term result in resticting myself from fresh fruits and bindging on chocolate or eating grapes, I somehow think the grapes is a better option! Of course if you wnat to lose 10 pounds in 1 week, its not going to happen by eating grapes but..... I think we wouldnt be here if we could control ourselves that well or would we?

think about it!

Thursday, June 09, 2011, 4:15 PM

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problems continue

Is anyone having problems with their digestive system? Mine seems to get upset almost every day....

Friday, June 10, 2011, 3:58 PM

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This new PEERtrainer article discusses some adjustments you can make to help you feel less tired. It works!

How To Stop Feeling Tired

-PEERtrainer

Friday, September 02, 2011, 1:23 PM

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