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My mom drives me nuts. Help.

I called my mom and asked her if I could come visit next weekend with my husband and my children. Even the fact that I have to "ask" and I don't feel welcome drives me crazy but that's another story. She answers, I don't know, I'm going to be getting a job, money is tight, I'll have to get back to you at some point in the future. Then I say, we'll pay for everything if that's the problem. She answers, I just don't know. Why do you want to come, you were just here a couple of weeks ago. I can't even fathom my children calling me, when they get older, and me getting the chance to see my grandchildren, and having a response like this. Sorry, thanks for letting me vent. It's just hurtful.

Wed. Apr 26, 11:52am

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Before rushing to conclusions, it could be one of two (based on my personal exp.):
a - she's got her own plans, and you are interfering; or
b (worse) - you may have hurt your Mom's feelings recently.

Play back you recent convos and your visits with your Mom and see if you have somehow unintentionally hurt her (we, children could be very selfish and cruel sometimes). Or your kids or hubby? Is your Mom depressed? If you live nearby, invite your Mom for lunch some place nice - just two of you, and maybe you get her to talk.

If all is ok, your Mom's got a life and I would leave her alone - as much as inconceivable it is our parents are also humans with their own private lives, which we have no control over the minute we leave their nests.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 12:12 PM

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You must be an older mom. Thanks but no thanks. Your post reveals that you are also a selfish human being.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 12:15 PM

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I'd be upset too if my mom didn't want me to visit. Sounds like there are deeper issues. Sorry she hurt your feelings.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 12:22 PM

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Parents can drive us crazy. Try not to take it personally. I don't think going over tapes of past conversations is very helpful. It's best to ask her directly what is up because you could make assumptions that aren't true. The only way you will really know what is up is if you ask her. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, just let it go and move on.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 12:22 PM

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To the 12:22 poster. Thank you for understandting. She's selfish and controlling and everything is all about her, all the time. I have to accept that she'll never change.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006, 12:25 PM

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