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Just a vent, because I can't talk about this to anyone I know

ok, absolutely cannot stay in this house with the kids much longer or I'll go insane. DIL is a serious harpie and that's putting it very nicely. Both she and son take advantage of me, leaving the house whenever they choose without even telling me. Leaving me with the grandkids like I'm a built in babysitter. Never giving a thought to what I might have planned. Doctor and physical therapy appts that I can't take the grandkids to. Leaving the house in a terrible mess -- piles of dirty laundry all over the laundry room floor, piles of dirty dishes in the sink and all over the counter, overflowing garbage bags that they should be taking out but leave heaped up near the front door. If I do the cleaning, DIL yells at me for trying to "take over the household". If I don't do the cleaning, DIL yells at me and tells me I'm lazy, because I'm home all day and have plenty of time to take care of it. I should just change my name to Hazel Burke. As in Hazel the maid, from the old 1960s tv show. I never should have let them move me in here with them. Shouldn't have listened when they said it was to help me rest, recuperate, and pay off my medical bills without having to worry about rent and utilities at my own place.

Sat. Jun 30, 1:27am

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sounds like you need to call a family meeting after the grand kids go to bed to bed tonight. talk it out calmly. even though your family members are acting like jerks (sorry) I'm sure they honestly do care for you and have your best interest at heart. maybe you can make it work... in the meantime, you should have a backup plan... maybe the way your family is acting is the best they can give, they can treat you crappy and still love you, but you definitely need to set up some rules and boundaries, whether you stay or decide to leave.

Saturday, June 30, 2012, 4:40 AM

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This is YOUR home? It sounds like you've been playing too nice and they're walking all over you, intentionally or not. Sit em down, and either lay down some new rules to living in your home or give em a time frame to find their own place and stick to it.

Saturday, June 30, 2012, 3:06 PM

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Even if it's their home, you need to feel at peace. Start looking for new options that will fit your financial budget. Because it is their home, it will be difficult to set boundaries. On the other hand, you did not move in to become babysitter and maid. Graciously thank them and move on. All the best.


Sunday, July 01, 2012, 12:32 PM

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I agree with the person who said "call a meeting." You adults all need to calmly agree what the expectations and responsibilities are. It may be, for instance, that you expect a cleaner house than they would ordinarily keep, and that they haven't considered a way to deal with that other than to expect you to do it. When households merge even people who honestly love and respect each other have to consciously map out problems and agree on specific adjustments. It doesn't just happen by itself.

Monday, July 02, 2012, 1:19 PM

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Please keep us updated on how you are doing!

Tuesday, July 03, 2012, 10:34 AM

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