CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories


thoughts on self-sabotage?

I'm becoming really frustrated with myself. I have a diet plan, it works, I'm losing weight, I enjoy the new confidence, I dont feel deprived, I'm getting healthier, getting compliments. And then bam I am for no reason stuffing my face until I am actually in physical pain. Or I go out and buy something really bad and just eat the whole thing, and I dont even really enjoy it, I feel guilty while I'm doing it, I realize AT the time that I dont want to be doing it. Ofcourse everyone likes candy and cakes and pizza etc etc...but I've finally found a diet plan that makes me feel great and I have these random boughts of self sabotage. what the hell?why do you think it happens? I know there are so many psychological connections for each person with weight and food...but I just can't figure it out... I'm getting attention and confidence that I love, and it almost feels like I do it JUST to make myself feel bad:( any insight would be appreciated.

Thu. May 11, 1:25am

Add comment  
Maybe you do it for the same reason that others do it-- you may not be comfortable seeing yourself in your new, more physically healthy role... in other words, when you were heavier and unhealthier, no one paid much attention, but now that you are getting more fit, you might be a little afraid of the extra attention?

In other words, a bit of a fear of success vs. failure. So, when you sabatoge, you re-confirm that you are actually unable to achieve your goals. (Does that make any sense?) That way, I think internally, you are then not disappointed if you don't actually make it to your goal....

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 1:34 AM

Add comment
I don't really have any insight, but I can relate! I see myself doing the same thing from time to time. I've finally told myself that if I do really well all week, I won't beat myself up for going a little crazy on the week ends. I still have to exercise, but I won't pay as close attention to what I eat.
I think the previous poster made a good point, about not being comfortable with the changes we've gone through. Our minds work in the strangest of ways!
the important thing is not let it get out of control. Give yourself a day to not count calories. eat what you want, when you want, then next day, work a little harder at exercise, and eating according to your plan

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 7:08 AM

Add comment
I also relate to this. One thing I'm focusing on is not giving up after the first time I get off track. I've had this thinking in my mind that I'm just going to be a heavy person and I just need to accept it and that my weight loss just works in cycles. But that does not have to be true. I just keep telling myself it doesn't have to be true and try not to use such negative self talk with myself and just keep at it. One day of eating a chocolate cake does not mean that I am meant to be fat. So, trying to replace the negative self talk with positive self talk.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 8:43 AM

Add comment
Look into a book called Intuitive Eating. You can learn to "make peace" with food. Eating shouldn't be a punishment.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 9:17 AM

Add comment
And congrats on coming up with a good plan that works for you! I too am happy with mine most of the time, but like you I have these urges to binge and stray and I don't even know why - it's not like I'm hungry or even really have strong cravings for junk.

However, I know at least for me sometimes there is this sneaking little voice that says "I've been good - I can have that." When I don't even really want it! I've started telling myself that I 'could' have that, but I don't actually need it and then if I sucessfully resist I note how much it would have cost and I keep a tally and then allow myself to spend that on something I wouldn't usually buy for myself (like the really nice Clinique moisturizer that I usually choke at the thought of paying $40 for).

So, I don't know if that might be part of it, but a good chunk of the reason I do that is that something sounds or tastes good and I seem to start thinking I am actually entitled to it because I've been so good. I'm not doing so hot at shaking that mentality, but I do much better if I redirect it a bit.

Best wishes!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 12:27 PM

Add comment
i do the same thing and have no clue why!!! it's frustrating and hurtful!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 1:54 PM

Add comment
I do the same thing. For me, I don't think it has to do w/ not being comfortable with my body because I haven't lost any weight. I don't know why I do it. I really like the 12:27 poster's idea of saving what the food would cost and rewarding yourself with a non-food item. I'm definitely going to try that. Thank you!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 2:39 PM

Add comment
OP, I can relate to you EXACTLY. that's what i do. I even spoke to my therapist about it a few years ago, and she's the one that learned the term self-sabotage from. You're breaking your own diet rules just to spite yourself. it almost feels like you have a split personality or something. the 'why can't i stop myself from doing this?' feeling is SO weird, since while you're thinking that you shouldn't be doing it, you're doing it - it's not like you get a kick out of breaking the rules, because only you have to pay for it later!! it's really hard to understand, and so depressing afterwards. is it like shoplifting or something? do kleptomaniacs get the same kind of thrills right before and during stealing something? I don't know.
Anyway, sympathising.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 3:23 PM

Add comment
thoughts of self sabotage

I can relate as well....But this is the great part about Peer Trainer I have never stopped and asked myself why I do sabatoge myself until now......

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 4:13 PM

Add comment
Here's a thought.

Don't walk into a pizza place advertising their mini pizzas for $0.99 when you are hungry. I inhaled mine-- don't even think it touched my tongue!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 4:36 PM

Add comment

Explore Related Articles
Weight Loss Motivation   Sustainable Weight Loss
Weight Lifting    Hypnosis and Weight Loss
Emotional Eating   Help Losing Weight
Free Weight Loss Program   Weight Watchers Points  NutriSystem
How To Change Anything

Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight


How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources


Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner


Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge