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thoughts on self-sabotage?

I'm becoming really frustrated with myself. I have a diet plan, it works, I'm losing weight, I enjoy the new confidence, I dont feel deprived, I'm getting healthier, getting compliments. And then bam I am for no reason stuffing my face until I am actually in physical pain. Or I go out and buy something really bad and just eat the whole thing, and I dont even really enjoy it, I feel guilty while I'm doing it, I realize AT the time that I dont want to be doing it. Ofcourse everyone likes candy and cakes and pizza etc etc...but I've finally found a diet plan that makes me feel great and I have these random boughts of self sabotage. what the hell?why do you think it happens? I know there are so many psychological connections for each person with weight and food...but I just can't figure it out... I'm getting attention and confidence that I love, and it almost feels like I do it JUST to make myself feel bad:( any insight would be appreciated.

Thu. May 11, 1:25am

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Maybe you do it for the same reason that others do it-- you may not be comfortable seeing yourself in your new, more physically healthy role... in other words, when you were heavier and unhealthier, no one paid much attention, but now that you are getting more fit, you might be a little afraid of the extra attention?

In other words, a bit of a fear of success vs. failure. So, when you sabatoge, you re-confirm that you are actually unable to achieve your goals. (Does that make any sense?) That way, I think internally, you are then not disappointed if you don't actually make it to your goal....

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 1:34 AM

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I don't really have any insight, but I can relate! I see myself doing the same thing from time to time. I've finally told myself that if I do really well all week, I won't beat myself up for going a little crazy on the week ends. I still have to exercise, but I won't pay as close attention to what I eat.
I think the previous poster made a good point, about not being comfortable with the changes we've gone through. Our minds work in the strangest of ways!
the important thing is not let it get out of control. Give yourself a day to not count calories. eat what you want, when you want, then next day, work a little harder at exercise, and eating according to your plan

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 7:08 AM

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I also relate to this. One thing I'm focusing on is not giving up after the first time I get off track. I've had this thinking in my mind that I'm just going to be a heavy person and I just need to accept it and that my weight loss just works in cycles. But that does not have to be true. I just keep telling myself it doesn't have to be true and try not to use such negative self talk with myself and just keep at it. One day of eating a chocolate cake does not mean that I am meant to be fat. So, trying to replace the negative self talk with positive self talk.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 8:43 AM

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Look into a book called Intuitive Eating. You can learn to "make peace" with food. Eating shouldn't be a punishment.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 9:17 AM

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And congrats on coming up with a good plan that works for you! I too am happy with mine most of the time, but like you I have these urges to binge and stray and I don't even know why - it's not like I'm hungry or even really have strong cravings for junk.

However, I know at least for me sometimes there is this sneaking little voice that says "I've been good - I can have that." When I don't even really want it! I've started telling myself that I 'could' have that, but I don't actually need it and then if I sucessfully resist I note how much it would have cost and I keep a tally and then allow myself to spend that on something I wouldn't usually buy for myself (like the really nice Clinique moisturizer that I usually choke at the thought of paying $40 for).

So, I don't know if that might be part of it, but a good chunk of the reason I do that is that something sounds or tastes good and I seem to start thinking I am actually entitled to it because I've been so good. I'm not doing so hot at shaking that mentality, but I do much better if I redirect it a bit.

Best wishes!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 12:27 PM

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i do the same thing and have no clue why!!! it's frustrating and hurtful!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 1:54 PM

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I do the same thing. For me, I don't think it has to do w/ not being comfortable with my body because I haven't lost any weight. I don't know why I do it. I really like the 12:27 poster's idea of saving what the food would cost and rewarding yourself with a non-food item. I'm definitely going to try that. Thank you!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 2:39 PM

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OP, I can relate to you EXACTLY. that's what i do. I even spoke to my therapist about it a few years ago, and she's the one that learned the term self-sabotage from. You're breaking your own diet rules just to spite yourself. it almost feels like you have a split personality or something. the 'why can't i stop myself from doing this?' feeling is SO weird, since while you're thinking that you shouldn't be doing it, you're doing it - it's not like you get a kick out of breaking the rules, because only you have to pay for it later!! it's really hard to understand, and so depressing afterwards. is it like shoplifting or something? do kleptomaniacs get the same kind of thrills right before and during stealing something? I don't know.
Anyway, sympathising.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 3:23 PM

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thoughts of self sabotage

I can relate as well....But this is the great part about Peer Trainer I have never stopped and asked myself why I do sabatoge myself until now......

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 4:13 PM

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Here's a thought.

Don't walk into a pizza place advertising their mini pizzas for $0.99 when you are hungry. I inhaled mine-- don't even think it touched my tongue!

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 4:36 PM

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Hmmm. Could you be eating for emotional reasons? Sometimes, I find myself wanting to eat, even though I'm not hungry, I've eaten recently, and then I had an insight a few days ago: I think it's some sort of self-soothing thing. It calms me down when I'm anxious. For some reason it's comforting to be noshing away, especially in the evening. Just realizing this helped prevent me from going on ahead and eating something. I was able to talk to myself rationally, and realize that I just wanted to eat for comfort, and then after awhile the desire to eat passed. Now, if I can learn to head off future eating episodes that will be an improvement. Don't know if this applies to you, but it's a thought, and I know I'm not alone in this.

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 4:58 PM

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One thing to keep in mind is that there's usually some reason or trigger behind a binge, even if you can't always put your finger on it. They're not like opportunistic viruses waiting to pounce (although they sure seem like it sometimes). You could try the quick self-check of asking yourself if you're too: a) hungry b) angry c) lonely or d) tired. If none of those resonate, you've at least paused for a few moments and given the impulse some conscious consideration. Maybe that will buy you enough time to decide you're going to have a treat, but not go wild.
All these good habits we're learning develop at their own pace, often two steps forward and one back. I like the redirecting suggestion of treating yourself to some non-food item with the money you'd have spent on the binge. And I agree that it helps to see a lapse as a bump in the road rather than falling off a cliff.
Keep pulling...

Thursday, May 11, 2006, 5:30 PM

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I think we can all relate to you. When I feel I am doing good and somebody notices it that justice the over eating for me.

Saturday, May 13, 2006, 3:02 PM

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I know what you mean, it's so easy to do. I we could walk away from the kitchen and do something different and the craving will go away, and the
binging might not start. Keep your mind and hands busy.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007, 2:49 PM

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