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anyone else feel like they are "safer" because they have gained weight? i used to get leered at a lot, but my weight gain really stopped that...

Fri. May 12, 2:38pm

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i find it opposite - I get a lot of oogles and whistles from men, when I have some extra meat hanging out. Especially latin and black men - very uncomfortable. I hate it, that's why I want to lose weight...

Friday, May 12, 2006, 3:03 PM

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yes, OP i feel that way. the one time i was super-hot (in my 20s) the approaches were too much to bear - i quickly gained it all back and hung on to the weight for 10 more years. for some reason, i'm willing to accept the fact i might get hit on this time around. maybe b/c it seems less likely!

Friday, May 12, 2006, 3:49 PM

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two very different perspectives there! Personally, I think that being leered at might not be too pleasant, but it does satisfy that need in us that someone thinks we're attractive? I'd rather be leered at and slim and happy with my size and weight than overweight, self-conscious and not turning any heads!

Friday, May 12, 2006, 3:50 PM

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i think i feel less self-conscious and more happy with my body when i have a little extra weight-it's not how i LOOK that makes me want to lose weight, it's the other health issues. but, if i could be heavy and healthy, i think i would prefer that...

Friday, May 12, 2006, 4:08 PM

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To the 3.50pm poster - nope, nothing pleasant in sexual objectifying leering. I'm the one who gets too much unwanted attention when slightly overweight. I always feel like 'Ball of Fat' in the Guy de Maupassant story. If you're not familiar with the story, wikipedia has a short cheat sheet on it (link below)


Friday, May 12, 2006, 4:27 PM

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Interesting. so you'd rather be heavy and healthy than slim and healthy?

Friday, May 12, 2006, 4:28 PM

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i know that's maybe a bit odd, but i do prefer to be heavy & healthy than thin & healthy. i do not mean obese or very overweight, but i am 5'4'' and i like the way i feel and move when i'm in a size 8-10 more than when i was in a size 4. i can't really explain why, as i have no idea why. but, having been very slim and very heavy, i prefer the middle.

Friday, May 12, 2006, 4:33 PM

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ok, 4.27 pm. You are right actually. I don't enjoy being leered at. Perhaps I'm talking in a less 'sexual' sense, and in a more 'appreciative' sense. Isn't there anyone out there who knows what i mean??

Friday, May 12, 2006, 4:33 PM

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i know what you mean. as the OP, i meant LEERED at, not appreciated. that would be pleasant from either a man or woman, if not sexual.

Friday, May 12, 2006, 4:36 PM

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I never knew someone felt like me about his issue

The truth is ever since i was a child i wanted to be less attractive to men because men had always "oversteped" their bounds with me as a child (if u know what i mean) all in the name of "oooo you are sooo pretty and ooo u are sooo cute. well i never seen them fawn over my fatter cousin so i tried to be like her and it worked, until i wanted to be thin again as a pre teen and teen ager. Now as an adult im stuck with these bad habits and a serious love for good food to make me feel better about all the pain. Being in this place in my life is seriously hard. I try to love myself but i sure wish i knew then what I know now.


Friday, May 12, 2006, 8:29 PM

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