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Do any of you have trust issues? I have a nice boyfriend but for some reason I just can't seem to trust him. He has an ex-wife and two children. Anytime he has to do anything with her, I get totally untrusting. I start to wonder what may be going on, etc. I am not sure why I feel that way. I don't know of anytime he has ever cheated. He did once tell me he and his ex were going out to dinner to talk about their daughters b-day party planning and I later found out he had asked her to go to the movies too. Is that enough? Maybe thats what I am holding onto. Any advice? Is this a counceling issue?

Tue. May 16, 4:40pm

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have you had trust issue in the past w/ previous relationships? did something happen in a previous relationship that would make you not trust people or men in general? do you trust your friends and family?

I would look into some of the answers to these questions and if you can't find something in your past that makes you distrusting in general then i would evaluate you current relationship.

sometimes we have intuition and just know when something is going on. other times we are way off w/ our speculation because the trust issue is about us, not them.

good luck-i hope everything really is okay w/ your guy!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 4:50 PM

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I know I'm gonna get blasted for this, but I don't generally date guys with kids/ ex wives for this reason. They loved the woman enough to marry her, she is the mother or his children. That's hard to compete with. There's a lot of happy memories with her, and you probably haven't made that many with him yet.

Fact is you will have to put up with her and that connectio between the two of them for as long as your with the guy. There are nice guys out there without that much baggage. Go find one of them..

And yes, I think inviting her to a movie is innappropriate and inconsiderate to you.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 5:02 PM

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As an ex-wife, I have to say, my ex-husband and I have only gone out to eat once or twice to discuss issues having to do with our daughter. NEVER did we do any kind of date-like activity like a movie. That is not appropriate for him to do when he has a girlfriend. I think you have a right to be upset about that, and I don't blame you for being suspicious that he still has feelings for her. I do think counseling is great. If he won't go with you, go by yourself (but if he won't go, I think that tells you something right off the bat).

Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 6:05 PM

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Do you think its important that the ex-wife knows he has a new (1 Year) girlfriend?

Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 10:38 AM

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Do you think the ex is going to really care if he has a new gf? It's not her responsiblity to care how you feel, it is HIS responsibility.

That being said, I was seeing (really more like sleeping with...) a guy with an ex wife, and she knew about me after about 2 weeks. So I think there's a REAL problem if he hasn't told her- because it's his job to make his position clear. I'd never date a guy who wasn't willing to tell ANYONE who asked, that he was seeing me.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 2:31 PM

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I guess thats just more of the trust issue. I went to one of his games once when we were first dating. They ended up having a huge arguemnt anyway because she felt that he disrespected her by bringing his new girlfriend there. At the time he told her we were just friends. I don't know what he tells her now.

I am starting to think I may be too young for this type of relationship. Maybe I need to be more secure with myself to handle this.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 2:43 PM

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From everything you've posted so far I don't think 'you're' the one that's too young for this relationship.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 4:36 PM

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I wouldn't say you're too young, but you're probably not prepared to deal with someone with that kinda baggage. And you don't have to be. Drop him and find a new guy. Don't fall for the "But I love him" "I won't find another guy" "but he really is a good guy" or any other excuse that starts with a "but". Simply drop him and move on. Time with mr. right-now, is not time looking for Mr. ALL Right.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 5:57 PM

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I decided to call it off last night. Just don't think I am ready for everything that a life with him would entail. I am a little sad today because of a year of time that I can't get back. Any encouraging words? Also, I am afraid he is going to come asking for me to take him back, what can I do to be strong?

Friday, May 19, 2006, 9:11 AM

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I'm glad you dumped him. A ex wife here and I'm with a man who is also divorced. We both have kids which are in their 20s but neither one of our ex's every call which I'm glad lol. There is alot more single men with no baggage out their. If you are only sad I guess you really didn't love him. Cause if you loved him you would be heart broken. Never give up Mr. Right could live next door. Chin up, keep smiling.

Friday, May 19, 2006, 10:25 AM

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