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breakin up is hard to do

Is there anyone out there besides me going through relationship drama, but trying to stay focused on everything else in life-including health and fitness? Well, my issues came out of the blue and are hitting me like a ton of bricks, but I am giving it my all to stay focused. I'm still eating healthy and planning to work-out tonight. I just want to hear from someone else who is going through the same thing

Tue. May 30, 5:01pm

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My boyfriend is actually moving in with me, which is a big change in a relationship. Even with the move this weekend, I was able to workout. We are definitely going to have to adjust eating habits though - I made him pancakes, and had way more than I would have if I just made a couple for myself. Also, he loves eating pasta because it is cheap, and he usually eats half a box at a time... meanwhile, I'm have veggie stir fry and stealing bites of pasta off his plate that I never would have even made for myself.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006, 6:39 PM

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I am not currently experiencing the things you are, but I have definitely gone through my fair share of relationship drama, and even though it's hard, the best thing you can do for yourself is to stay on track with your workouts and eating well. Not only do exercise and healthy food equip our bodies to deal with stress better, but in the end you will feel better for it. I am currently losing weight that I gained over a year and a half of a very rocky relationship. In the end, the junk food and lack of exercise only made my problems worse.

Chin up. I know it's a hard time right now, but you will make it through.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006, 11:34 PM

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I am going through major relationship drama right now also! My boyfriend and I almost broke up 3 weeks ago, because of long standing posessiveness issues on my part and seemingly shady behavior on his part. We are really struggling right now to stay together. For my part I am trying to let go of my posessive and jealous ways. For his part he is trying to both live honestly and freely, and not be scared all the time that I'm giong to suspect this or that (he hasn't been unfaithful, but my own insecurity made me suspect everything he did, and everyone he talked to).
In the past I would call out of work and just stay home and cling to him, and then wait around for him to get home from work so I can cling again. Bad, bad cycle. Now I make sure I go to the gym and eat well, which helps me see myself as the better person I'm trying to be.
Hang in there, you are NOT alone. Just know that overeating and allowing yourself to stay sucked in the drama are the worst thing you could do to yourself and him (if you're working on things).
As for arguments, they can't always be solved in one session. Sometimes you just need to let time do its thing. And while it's doing its thing, you do yours.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006, 9:16 AM

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To the last poster-I LOVE the way you ended that. Thanks for the great advice ;)

Wednesday, May 31, 2006, 3:32 PM

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Relationship drama

I have been married for over 20 years, and pretty much the whole time has been full of relationship drama. I finally got into CODA and ACoA a few years ago and it really helped me. I don't go anymore but try to use the principals I learned. I have a husband who is very much a bully to me and my kids. I FINALLY got an "aha!" moment last year and saw things clearly. I am not in a position to leave now, but am working on things to get more of my power back and take care of myself. I usually dealt with the relationship drama by overeating and watching way too much TV (pushing my emotions to the back burner). I am trying to be more positive now and joining PT is one of those positive things I am doing. I am also trying to put myself in a better financial position by taking college classes and slowly working on my degree at night. I know I feel better when I exercise, so I am trying to make that a priority as well as eating less junk food and binging at night. I have to take care of myself because an empty cup (me) cannot fill others (my kids).
Hang in there and keep focused on what you need to do. I am impressed you are still able to eat and behave in a healthy way. You must be stronger than you feel. :-)

Thursday, June 01, 2006, 1:48 AM

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original poster here. Thanks guys for your great advice! And to the last poster, I am SO proud of you for opening your eyes to the problem and working towards a solution. It's nice to see that there are other strong women out there working past the negative men in our lives. And yes, I am feeling much better. I never wavered from my healthy eating and I was so proud of that-it shows me that I am getting a handle over emotional eating. And yesterday I walked 2 miles and did some strength training. It felt GREAT to be doing something positive for me. Also, to the last poster, when u say ur husband is a bully, I hope you don't mean he's physically abusive. If so, I encourage you to speed up your efforts to get out, no matter what your education or financial level is. More people than you realize are willing to help. So, keep your head up and continue to put you and your kids first.

Thursday, June 01, 2006, 3:57 PM

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