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Anybody ever donate their eggs? I'm beginning to look in to this and wanted to get some unbiased feedback. I love the idea of helping another couple and the monetary payment is a nice bonus for the doctor's appointments, etc... that you have to go through. I plan to ask my gyno about this but from what I've read it seems relatively safe. Any feedback is appreciated.
Fri. Jun 2, 11:11am
Not sure about egg donors, but for sperm donors, people tend to choose blond, blue-eyed, healthy, fit, ivy league graduates. I don't know how it works when woman in infertile, do they choose a donor most physically resembling her or go for the ideal? Just make sure you're prepared for rejection.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 12:10 PM
From the reading I've done on egg donation, it's not very easy on your body. In order to produce enough eggs to harvest you have to take fertility drugs, which can be very harsh and cause some side-effects including reproductive issues for the donor. Definately do your research before you sign up! You don't want to make yourself sick or compromise your health or your future children.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 12:25 PM
It would be nice to have the money but have you thought about it morally? Have you thought about what it would feel like to have one of your children out there somewhere? I mean, that's what it is, your own flesh and blood...
Friday, June 02, 2006, 12:40 PM
OP here: Thanks for your thoughts etc...
To the 12:10pm poster: Not to sound conceited, but I pretty much am the ideal candidate-very good health, hardly any family medical concerns, etc... I do realize that there could be other genetic things that I don't know about though.
To the 12:40 poster: IMO, I'm not giving these people a baby. I'm giving a couple who is desperate to be parents a chance to create a baby themselves.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 1:32 PM
I do believe it is safe, lots of work. I have many friends who have fertility issues and people like you are a blessing to them.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 2:07 PM
I think it's wonderful you're thinking about doing this for someone.
I have looked into it myself, but never followed through- When I was looking into it there is a lot of preperation that goes into it (like taking hormones and being at an ideal wieght, etc). I've havn't heard much about the recovery time, but it is classified as a surgey and you need to take it easy for awhile afterwards. It would would a good idea to talk to a professional about it.
Good Luck! It is really hard to quilify, but it sounds like you have your "genes" in a row.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 2:13 PM
There are risks for you as well - increased risk of infertility and other health effects for you. Do lots of research, ask lots of questions.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 3:51 PM
I thought about doing it, but, it's about 3-4 months of hormones and tons of appointments, and a list of things you're not allowed to do during that time (including having sex), and I've heard that the process of harvesting the eggs is very painful, and afterwards, your body isn't back to normal for awhile, due to the drugs/hormones/etc.
And obviously, you can't take birth control during that time too!
If you can do it, good for you! But if you can't make that kind of commitment, don't be hard on yourself; most people can't!
Friday, June 02, 2006, 4:41 PM
I did it - twice in fact. I was much younger, I'd had 2 abortions, and I did it for the money, mostly, but I also did it so that I could feel as though I was giving back what I took away. (I know there are pro-life people out there and I respect you and don't want to go there at all - just wanted to explain my reasons) It helped me cope with my choices, and the fact that I did it still helps me now. I don't freak out when I think about the children that might now exist because of what I did - I think about the parents I helped, and the child that they wanted so much, and I feel nothing but good about it.
I will say that it is hard on your body taking all those hormones, and that all the hospital visits and monitoring gets a little intense - plus I had to inject myself everyday in the hip with hormones which not everybody is comfortable with),
It's your decision - only you know if putting your body through this means enough to you, and if the reasons you are doing it are the right reasons for YOU.
Hope this helps.
Friday, June 02, 2006, 7:54 PM
I would love to be an egg donor, but I understand that the age cut off is 21- 35. I am almost 40, does anyone know of a great clinic that would take a 40 year old? They make me feel like I should be sent out to pasture or something...
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 6:16 PM
It is very hard on your body. You have to take hormone injections that will make you into that crazy moody stage of early pregnancy until you and the donor mom get on the same cycles then they harvest the eggs. I don't know about fertility issues in the future with donors I haven't heard that problems just that it's not easy on your body. On the other hand I have a friend that did this an she is so happy... shocked because she is now pregnant with triplets but happy. Her and her husband have spent $25,000 the last three years trying to get pregnant so just knowing she's finally pregnant... well she's ecstatic.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 6:56 PM
To 7:54 on 6/2/07
Wow, that is a complex and creative thought process you went through and I truly admire the heart and soul and intellect that went into your decisions. You should be a judge, or a diplomat.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007, 7:11 PM
why is it called "donation" when people expect monetary compensation? when i donate blood, i get the gift of giving. when i donate clothing, again i receive the gift of giving. donating is not supposed to be a euphemism for selling, but i'm afraid it has become that in matters of egg 'donations".
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 8:02 AM
yeah. i see billboards all the time that offer $7,000 or $9,000 to "donors". makes no sense. it's a sale if you receive money for something that you give to someone else.
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 9:51 AM
Considering what donors have to go through and what the recipient of the donation gets out of the deal, that kind of money doesn't seem like anywhere near enough. Think about it.
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 10:43 AM
hey, i by no means think the valuable service ought to be a FREE service. but i do think that defining the transaction as a "donation" is misleading and incorrect. it puts some kind of philanthropic spin on it when it's actually a business deal. i think that providing another family with an opportunity to have a baby is tremendous and for sure takes a toll on the egg-provider's body (not to mention potentially her mind, too). it just isn't a "donation" and i wondered why the term continues to be used with regard to the situation.
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 11:04 AM
I've looked into this. Actually, I was really dissuaded from it when I learned that you have to stick yourself with hormones everyday, and that you do it for about 4 months, and you gain a huge amount of weight. The surgery to remove the eggs is not exactly pretty either. The compensation you recieve is actually like a working wage for the time you spend doing this. It's to compensate you, as a normal job would. That's why it's considered a donation.
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 7:38 PM
It creeps me out !
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 11:38 PM
Op You are giving them the main ingredient to create a child. by the way You will be the biological mother.But what the heck do you care!
Thursday, September 06, 2007, 11:44 PM
11:44pm, what a rude post! I think it's clear that the OP cares, and is compassionate, etc. If she wasn't, she'd never consider doing this in the first place!!! Why is it a bad thing to be a biological mother to someone else's child?? Some of us can produce eggs, and others can't. Does that mean that the person who can't make eggs shouldn't get to be a mother and raise a child? Does that mean that her husband should never be able to be a biological father?
Friday, September 07, 2007, 12:19 PM
well, maybe nature knows more than we can understand. why is it that some people can't produce their own offspring? perhaps there is a natural reasoning for that inability. but, to be fair, i agree that the 1144 comments were rude. and presumptuous. if i didn't have mental issues (bipolar), i would sell my eggs in a second. i don't want to use them. i am donating my entire body to needy donors when i die. why waste what nature gave me?
Friday, September 07, 2007, 1:01 PM
I think the OP is compassionate as well but I also wish that couples would consider adoption when they are unable to conceive. There are millions of children all over the world that would love a home and parents. I wouldn't do it personally, the idea kind of creeps me out as well. But just my opinion!
Friday, September 07, 2007, 4:59 PM
ARE YOU SERIOUS???
How ridiculously unlikely as a reason to not let women who are unable to conceive to give birth to their husbands' biological children! And, how biased that you didn't bother to mention sperm banks, which have been widely acceptable for years!
Saturday, September 08, 2007, 9:05 AM
Wow 1:01 Obviously your comments were just as rude and offensive "well, maybe nature knows more than we can understand. why is it that some people can't produce their own offspring? perhaps there is a natural reasoning for that inability" I bet your a huge support to any friends who may have dealt with infertility issues. BTW I am a mom of 2 children one being a transplant recipient. Trust me sometimes life deals you a shitty set of cards.. and it's the gifts from others that makes life possible!
Saturday, September 08, 2007, 2:57 PM
i would never ask the questions i posed in my comment to anyone who was unable to conceive, face-to-face. but this is a discussion forum and the topic came up and i did not think it was inappropriate to ask here. these are legitimate questions and speak to survival-of-the-fittest theories. perhaps there is an unknown-to-us mutant gene that sometimes selectively disables a person from reproducing in order to preserve our species...who knows? it's a valid question to consider. but when 2 sets of my cousins were going to fertility clinics and arranging for a surrogate mother, i did not ask them what they thought about my questions!!!!! it's actually because of my familiarity with the arduous processes that i even wondered about it at all.
Monday, September 10, 2007, 9:17 AM
9:17, there are so many other reasons for people to be infertile than just an alleged "mutant gene." Ovarian cancer, childhood illness, exposure to radiation, complications from endometriosis, even certain foods can all cause reproductive problems.
Although the OP said "any feedback is appreciated," I don't think she meant idiotic opinions from a pseudo genetic scientist on some ridiculous theory of why people can't have children. How insensitive, really.
As someone who has also considered egg donation, a little UNBIASED general information would have been nice, as well as testimonials from people who have undergone the procedure (both of which were provided, but not by many people). As always with a site full of stupid women, this has turned into an ethics war zone.
Monday, September 10, 2007, 9:36 AM
936: please don't reproduce. even if you don't raise your own offspring. but, as a stupid woman, maybe you'll just do what's in your own best interest. oh, and one more thing, f*ck off.
Monday, September 10, 2007, 9:40 AM
Wow, uncalled for AND ridiculous. Just what I would have expected from the ol' PT forums.
Monday, September 10, 2007, 9:48 AM
if you already know what you're in for, and you know you don't like it, why come back?
Monday, September 10, 2007, 9:53 AM
Even if it is possible that some have the "mutant" gene and that is why they are not "supposed to" reproduce - if they are having a baby via a donated egg, then they are not passing along their genes anyway. It is the donor's DNA, combined with that of the partner.
I doubt the argument is that their partner must have a mutant gene that says he should not reproduce, and therefore he is attracted to a woman who is infertile!!
Monday, September 10, 2007, 5:46 PM
so no one else thinks there may be some as-yet-unknown, natural reason why some people are unable to procreate? and FYI, i never suggested (or thought) that people who are infertile somehow attract each other. i just think that there has got to be more of an explanation for infertility besides just dumb luck. and i am not talking about those who have endured health traumas and then lost their fertility, but of those who were born infertile.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 9:53 AM
i still don't understand why people refer to the procedure of selling eggs as "donations"....how about calling it "philanthropic sales" ?
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 9:54 AM
To the 9:53am poster, 5:46pm poster here. I'm just trying to see how your question relates to this topic. I'm not arguing whether or not there is a natural reason why someone shouldn't procreate. My argument is that if a woman uses a donated (or philantropically sold) egg, then she is not actually procreating. She is carrying a child inside of her, yes. And I don't want to argue that the child is not, in fact, hers, because for many reasons, it is her child. But, on a strictly genetic and scientific level, the child is not her offspring, so she is not actually procreating. On a technical level, she is acting as a surrogate. It is the same child that would've been created if the donor, instead of donating the egg, had naturally conceived a child with the partner of the infertile woman (assuming, of course, that the same egg happened to be fertilized by the same sperm.)
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 10:32 AM
a little more info on donation
Patients go to infertility clinics because they cannot conceive naturally and needs assisted reproductive technologies (ART). We see anyone from farmers to attorneys trying to conceive, people well deserving of children and cannot have them. in some instances, there are medical reasons why a woman cannot use her own eggs (PCOS, etc.). There are environmental factors as well that can cause a person to become less fertile.
In the case of an oocyte donor, they are NOT "paid" for their eggs. They are compensated for their time for numerous blood draws, ultrasounds, several hours for the egg retrieval, waking up in the middle of the night to give themselves an injection, the time it takes to get messages and speak to their clinic, etc. The money is also for traveling expenses back and fourth for these appointments, the time off work, etc. At most infertility clinics, the egg donor and her partner/spouse are required to see a social worker to approve them to go through the cycle so they understand psychologically what they are doing. It's a 6 month process for a donor, I think some compensation is necessary.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 10:32 AM
i just think that if nature decided for you that you should not bear a child, whether or not you produced the egg for that child, then you shouldn't bear a child. where does the need come from? what is so off-putting about adoption instead of the hell one goes through for infertility treatments? is it about raising a child in a loving, safe, providing environment or is it about giving birth?
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 10:41 AM
To play devils advocate, why are there so many children to be adopted? It all boils down to personal and emotional reasons for the couple who wants a child. Sure there is adoption.. but it has it's flaws
With an adopted child.. you have no idea how the biological mother treated her fetus while she was pregnant... look at the thread about drinking alcohol while pregnant.. ( if you become pregnant from donated eggs you can assure you take care of your body and your fetus while pregnant).
Think of the number of adults and the waiting list for adoption. People wait years for a child through public adoption.
The birth mother has the right to change her mind and CAN come back for her child. This taken from the www.adoptionservices.org website "A disruption or dissolution is a family's nightmare, and they can and do happen. The term disruption, as related to a domestic adoption, is used to describe an adoption process that ends after the child is placed in an adoptive home and before the adoption is legally finalized, resulting in the child's return to the birth mother, entry (or re- entry) into foster care, or placement with new adoptive parents. Studies throughout the U.S. are consistent in reporting disruption rates that range from about 10 to 25 percent. The rate is affected by each State's adoption law and often by the culture in which the birth mother and birth father live."
THAT is up to 1 in 4 children placed for adoption. Can you imagine how devasting that chance could be.
Things happen for a reason but regardless of what the reason is ....there is always a different option available. Think of it this way.. if there wasn't a demand for egg donors.. the service wouldn't be provided.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 12:27 PM
well, if there wasn't a demand for adoptees, the service wouldn't be provided either, given that reasoning. there are children available for adoption whose backgrounds you may never be able to unearth, but there may also be drug use, genetic mutations, mental illness, or other ill-factors associated with the donor, too. if a donor has provided eggs and then gets cancer afterwards, wouldn't that mean that her eggs might also carry that cancer to the developing fetus? there are so many unknowns with any child, whether born to you or not. i don't think it's "playing devil's advocate" to express an opinion that may not be mainstream. for me, it's being my own advocate in relaying what i think.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 1:01 PM
Your right , however there is also a vigorous screening process for egg donors which include Family history, medical history, psychological screening. My point is the pregnancy itself ...At least with bearing a child via a donor egg or donor sperm.. you can assure that during any resulting pregnancy your fetus is given the best chance of a healthy outcome by ensuring you the recipient of an egg and or sperm donation get the best possible care during pregnancy and also avoid any possible hazards within your control.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 1:10 PM
"On a technical level, she is acting as a surrogate. It is the same child that would've been created if the donor, instead of donating the egg, had naturally conceived a child with the partner of the infertile woman (assuming, of course, that the same egg happened to be fertilized by the same sperm.) "
This is actually untrue.
While some of a person's attributes are genetic, others are epigenetic. This means that they are the result of environment working on the genome. The environment inside the mother is VERY important and can work great changes on the genome. This is why, for instance, we encourage women to curtail drinking and smoking while pregnant!
Some of the "maternal environment" -- nutrition, not drinking, not smoking, etc, is controllable. Other parts, such as the mother's circulating cortisol, androgen hormones, etc., are not really under her control, although they are unique to her. In any case, genetically identical children carried by different mothers could turn out VERY differently due to epigenetic factors.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 1:34 PM
Okay, sure, there are epigenetic factors that come into play. But, the controllable ones, a woman who has gone through all of the trouble to get the donated eggs, etc., will likely control. And the uncontrollable ones are tested for in women seeking fertility treatment (at least some, if not all. I'm not sure.) If her body is not hospitable to a growing embryo and fetus, then invitro fertilization is not recommended. But, in women who conceive naturally, those things are not tested for, so if they are bad, there is nothing that can be done.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 3:01 PM
Natural selection doesn't quite apply....
As someone who is infertile, and has been since birth I find the notion that the reason for this is strictly because I am unfit to have a child almost insulting. I am wonderful with children, well-educated, and I live an active and healthy lifestyle. If your theory was true then there would be no stories of children dying of heat stroke since mommy forgot to stop by daycare on the way to work, of children being left unattended in cars when daddy is in a brothel with his girlfriend, or of a child dying because her mom smeared her lips with meth after mommys boyfriend brutally assaulted her (all of these are true stories that have happened within the past month) because these people would not have children (they've obviously demonstrated they're unfit).
I give you a different POV and that's the fact that fate has selected me as the perfect parent for the a child who will not biologically be mine.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 3:07 PM
Excellent post 3:07.. My heart goes out to you for your inability to have a child. Like I said in an earlier post " Trust me sometimes life deals you a shitty set of cards.. and it's the gifts from others that makes life possible".
Medicine has come a long way since the mentality of "surivial of the fittest" ..
To the poster who continues to press the point of " natural selection" obviously you have no children.. I am sure if you did or if you were faced with infertility your mind set would be different.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 3:22 PM
i am infertile and have concluded that it must be because there are some biological factors that i am not aware of that might be passed on to a child i may have birthed if i was not infertile. it's not the idea of being a "fit" mother or father, or of enjoying children or of being good with children...it's that our survival-of-the-fittest genetics "know" something about our bodies' biological futures or potential progeny that prevents us from reproducing. please don't try to pass judgement on me or figure out what my life or lifestyle must be like based on the opinions i express.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 4:04 PM
Whoa! I think one communication problem here has to do with definitions of "fitness". Some of the people on this thread are talking about something different than others.
In regular English, a fit mother is someone like the 3:07, who will raise a child well.
In biological terminology, "fitness" refers to the ability to pass one's genes on. Period. I am probably not infertile, and probably could raise a child well, but have no children. My biological fitness is zero. Not a value judgment, just definitional.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 4:11 PM
Copied off dictionary.com
fit1 /f?t/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fit] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation adjective, fit·ter, fit·test, verb, fit·ted or fit, fit·ting, noun
–adjective 1. adapted or suited; appropriate: This water isn't fit for drinking. A long-necked giraffe is fit for browsing treetops.
2. proper or becoming: fit behavior.
3. qualified or competent, as for an office or function: a fit candidate.
4. prepared or ready: crops fit for gathering.
5. in good physical condition; in good health: He's fit for the race.
6. Biology. a. being adapted to the prevailing conditions and producing offspring that survive to reproductive age.
b. contributing genetic information to the gene pool of the next generation.
c. (of a population) maintaining or increasing the group's numbers in the environment.
–verb (used with object) 7. to be adapted to or suitable for (a purpose, object, occasion, etc.).
8. to be proper or becoming for.
9. to be of the right size or shape for: The dress fitted her perfectly.
10. to adjust or make conform: to fit a ring to the finger.
11. to make qualified or competent: qualities that fit one for leadership.
12. to prepare: This school fits students for college.
13. to put with precise placement or adjustment: He fitted the picture into the frame.
14. to provide; furnish; equip: to fit a door with a new handle.
–verb (used without object) 15. to be suitable or proper.
16. to be of the right size or shape, as a garment for the wearer or any object or part for a thing to which it is applied: The shoes fit.
–noun 17. the manner in which a thing fits: The fit was perfect.
18. something that fits: The coat is a poor fit.
19. the process of fitting.
—Verb phrase20. fit out or up, to furnish with supplies, equipment, clothing, furniture, or other requisites; supply; equip: to fit out an expedition.
—Idioms21. fit to be tied, Informal. extremely annoyed or angry: He was fit to be tied when I told him I'd wrecked the car.
22. fit to kill, Informal. to the limit; exceedingly: She was dressed up fit to kill.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007, 10:45 PM
whatever the dictionary definition is or how others had interpretted it, i've clearly re-stated what i meant by the word "fit". you can define it however you want or twist my meaning or substitute another word. but i did explain what i meant. and i didn't mean "worthy" or "capable", i meant biologically and physiologically prepared by nature, or natural selection. i am not trying to offend, just share a viewpoint. obviously, since i've had to explain and re-explain, others don't want to hear what i have to share. thanks! bye! good luck with your family building!
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