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Losing weight and promiscuity...

Does anyone have this problem where they think they will be a little " easier" with the guys or girls if they get fit and sterotypically more attractive?

I know I can keep myself at bay by keeping the pounds on and frankly am afraid that I may become something different.

Now don't get me wrong, I have very high moral grounds, but I mean more outgoing and more revealed... and so forth. Any one else have this problem/concern or are living this now?

Mon. Jun 5, 9:36pm

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quite the opposite. I can't wait to be a little thinner and they have a wider range of opportunity with the men...

Monday, June 05, 2006, 9:39 PM

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I got plenty of clandestine attention at 210, then an improved quality of attention at 180...and I'm sure 130 will bring with it new types of attention, new kinds of games. I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time.

Monday, June 05, 2006, 9:49 PM

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You sound like a thoughtful person. I don't think you will change your morals if you get thin. You may feel better about yourself and enjoy more sexual attention but it doesn't mean you will turn into a different person. If you focus on doing this for yourself because you want to be strong and healthy, you will be fine. And it's ok to feel good about being noticed, but you can choose what you do with that attention. Feeling good about your body and feeling good about sex is ok, too. But you have to do what feels right to you. Good luck!

Monday, June 05, 2006, 9:50 PM

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I've found that (in my own experience over the years), that it depends on how "fat" your mind is as you become more physically fit. When I initially lost weight years ago, I was still in the insecure mind set I had been in when I was heavy. So I found myself all too flattered by the newfound male attention. I didn't sleep around, but I did have my heart broken a few times by guys I thought cared for me, when all they wanted was to use my fitter body as their playground. When that didn't happen, they dropped me like a hot potato.
Now, though, that my mind has kept up with my improving body, I can divide the attention from men into "slimy" or "flattering." Either way, I have a sense of the man's maturity level. As you start losing weight (or keep it up), make sure you recognize your progress and take mental note of the positive physical and psychological changes. Then you can steer clear of the moochers.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 8:44 AM

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I know exactly what you mean OP! I think I have been holding myself back from being more forward and physically outgoing because of the weight! Thank you so much for posting this becasue I seriously had the same line of thought! I really think that with more attention comes more options, but if yuou are anything like me you probably aren't that unmoral and wouldn't randomly sleep with someone anyways! Just enjoy the new people you may get to meet and be more open with your new and current body!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 8:46 AM

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Who cares? OWN IT!

Men would never in a million years even ponder this. I wish wish wish WISH (!!!!) that more women would just freaking OWN their sexuality already.

I'm not saying go and be promiscuous if you're normally very proper, but if you work hard to get a more attractive body, there is absolutely NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING wrong with showing it off, enjoying it and all it's pleasures as long as you are:

#1 safe and #2 happy.

Who cares what other people think? Do what's right for you, stay true to yourself by doing what feels right for YOU and you only and you'll never have any regrets.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 10:36 AM

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Actually, it's a little bit funny, I'd say most of the heavier girls that I knew in college were far "easier" than the thin ones. I guessed it was because they didn't have the option to be as choosy, and were more grateful for the attention that they got.

I am NOT saying that fat peope = easy, I don't mean to start controversy.

But, becoming thin will probably mean that you have more options, but you can be plenty easy when you don't have as many options, so losing the weight really doesn't change anything. You can choose to be easy, or choose not to be easy, at ANY weight!

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 10:52 AM

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Seeing clearly

Losing weight has had another effect in this arena to me. When I started gaining weight I was still in my late teens. My entire self-image was based on what was acceptable in high school. Can you imagine?!?!?! So as I lost weight as an adult, I really started paying attention to the reactions I got and discovered that my body type (curvy, tall, lots of shape to it including a tummy), which I thought was just totally unfashionable and would always leave me with a second class body, is MUCH more highly regarded that I ever would have thought at 19! It's been a paridigm shift for me to realize that most of the impressions I held of my body were totally self-imposed.

That said, anyone who doesn't like my body at 210 isn't going to like it at 180. It's also been a great experience to really gain confidence in the fact that I'm NOT going to be everyone's bag of chips. I don't want to be! My target audience is people who enjoy looking at tall, statuesque women with breasts and butts and legs. People that appreciate a more archetypical woman, not a guy body with breasts attached.

It can be a bit giddy to have all those options laid out before you at first, but just take it slowly and believe it when people show you who they really are. Appreciate your new beauty and discover what you didn't notice about yourself pre-loss.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 11:06 AM

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Finding myself in a leaner, fitter body coincided with the end of a long-term relationship, so I'm not sure if I would have gotten the same level of attention had I been single before I lost weight and started working out 5X a week...

I will say that, more than anything else, it's my confidence that attracts guys (at least, the kind of guys that I'd want to sleep with anyway). Feeling good about my body certainly helps my confidence, and results in me not being afraid to enjoy myself (sexually or otherwise) with a guy.

So, I'm safe, happy, and having a blast. :) Don't fear it. As long as you're safe and healthy, do what feels right for you.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 11:18 AM

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"Actually, it's a little bit funny, I'd say most of the heavier girls that I knew in college were far "easier" than the thin ones. I guessed it was because they didn't have the option to be as choosy, and were more grateful for the attention that they got. "

Or it's because fat cells themselves produce estrogen, so heavier girls who feel good about their bodies are in the mood more often. :-)

Tuesday, June 06, 2006, 11:27 AM

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