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Realizing stuff

Now that I'm focused on my health and weight issues, I've started to reflect back on my childhood and how I grew up and my family's attitudes, etc. My mom is an aneorexic but doesn't understand "where I got my weight issues from". It's like opening up a pandoras box.

Tue. Jun 20, 10:11am

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It's almost funny, isn't it? My Mom ate little to no food and then semi-binged on chips and crackers. Then she'd go to the gym and work out after having coffee. No dinner. Breakfast? Coffee. Lunch? What's lunch? Dinner? Potato chips or Wonder Bread w/mayo.
Dad was a health nut. If he saw me with crackers, I was only allowed a sliver of margarine in just the center of the cracker. I was 6 yrs old, 50 lbs.
Oh, and the uncle who molested me from age 2 to age 5. He'd bring me BOXES of chocolate bars and ice cream that I'd gorge on at my grandmother's house. Needless to say, I've got big time issues with emotional eating, and I look at "dieting" as an all or nothing enterprise: either I starve myself of think I have to eat wheat grass to lose weight. Now I'm trying to find my own definition for how I should live healthfully.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006, 3:58 PM

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i'm sorry that happened to you 3:58

Tuesday, June 20, 2006, 7:39 PM

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I am sorry that happened as well -

but I agree with looking back and how odd things were or different, and how that can affect who you are now.

tv was big in my house growing up and dinner went on to dessert in front of the tv and we ate a lot. I was a normal skinny kid but now, it's so hard to not have dessert after every dinner, and turn off the tv or just not eat in front of it, but I guess this is normal.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006, 7:52 PM

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I too am sorry to hear about past abuse. :-(

I have reflected that I am glad my parents insisted that we eat together every night as a family. I wasn't so keen on it when I was a teenager, but as I got older I realize it gave me structure and time with them. We didn't eat the healthiest, but we did prepare most of our food and ate it together which is now something that my husband and I do together. This was new to him since his family just grabbed whatever, ate in front of the TV and rarely had sit down meals. He loves dinner with me and chatting in the kitchen while we cook - it's time that I treasure and I'm so very glad my parents taught me that.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006, 9:54 PM

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This is something I have thought of also. When I was in grade school my mother suffered from bulemia. Last year she was diagnosed with anorexia. In the between time her weight has varied between 98lbs (the lowest she admitted to anyway) and 185. I remember crying at age 7 because I had outgrown a pair of pants and felt "fat" despite the fact that I was not an overweight child.

We learn our eating habits and attitudes toward physical activity while we're growing up. Realizing that I need to re-learn these things has been a big step for me.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006, 1:10 AM

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i didn't realize moms could be anorexic or bullimic. thank you for sharing your stories.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006, 10:11 AM

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