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New boyfriend thinking of leaving the state
Hi-- I really could use some insight here. I met a guy about 2 1/2 months ago through a dating service- Together Dating. We have been going out pretty steadily, enjoying each other's company--the sex is amazing! But just last night at dinner, he told me he was waiting for an interview with a company who would, if he gets the job, send him another state, several hunded miles away which ultimately means that I wouldnt see him again. He is burnt out from his job, and I understand he needs a change, and feels this job gives him the best career opportunity but I am really peeved. Just meet this guy and he's leaving already? (Albeit possibly). Should I just move on as clearly I'm not someone he considers important in his life to stay here for.
I am confused... just met this guy.
He says he doesnt know for sure if he's leaving-- but where does that "leave" me in the meantime? HELP!!!
Sat. Jul 1, 3:07pm
Has he gotten the job yet? I think if he really feels like he wants your relationship to last, he will make sure you stay a priority no matter how far apart you are. Maybe you can visit eachother. It's hard cause you are in an early part of your relationship.
I say see how it goes and don't stress out too much, my mom always said 'if it is meant to be then it will be'
Saturday, July 01, 2006, 3:22 PM
I can very much sympathize with both of you. It's natural to be bummed that someone who you connect with very well could be leaving your life. OTOH, you keep stating that you 'just met' - why then should he pass up on what might be an incredible career opportunity to keep dating a girl he 'just met'? I would make sure he knows how you feel, but don't try to emotionally manipulate him into staying. Definitely if it's meant to be you'll both find a way to make things work even if there has to be some distance for a little while.
As for where does that leave you? Well, do you have other prospects jumping up and down in the wings? Is your biological clock ticking double time? Do you like this guy enough to enjoy his company even though the future is uncertain? No one can really answer that but you. Personally, I'd make the most of what time we had left and would send him off with my absolute best wishes - make sure your memories of each other are good ones :-)
Saturday, July 01, 2006, 5:20 PM
to both above....You are indeed in the honeymoon stage of a relationship... he should do what is best for him career wise... and if he is "that into you," he will keep in touch after he moves. (My parents met in Hawaii, mom being from Canada, and my dad the midwest in the States (maybe a 36 hour period before my dad had to leave)... they wrote back and forth for about a year, then my dad proposed when he got her to visit him for a week around New Years. They were married that Valentines Day.) -and still married 36 years later
Distance makes the heart grow fonder???
Check out the book "Cracking the Love Code," by Janet O'Neal. It really helped me and got me married and the other 2 ppl I loaned the same book to- were also then soon happily married.
Saturday, July 01, 2006, 5:56 PM
You just met him, and are freaking over losing him already? You expect him to pass up the chance on a great job for a girl he just met? Be realistic. And find more important things to worry about than men.
Saturday, July 01, 2006, 7:16 PM
Keep in mind he may ask you to go with him. If he does I think you need to just take a leap of faith and remember that life is an adventure
Saturday, July 01, 2006, 10:22 PM
i get the impression that you are pretty attached to this guy already. maybe you should stop/limit the sex you are having with him until/unless you can get a strong grasp on where this relationship is going-that may lessen the impact if he does leave. it also does not appear that you were good friends before you dated, and by establishing another form of communication, w/o all the sex, you may provide the foundation that will help this grow into something worth pursuing even as a long distance thing...good luck.
Sunday, July 02, 2006, 9:52 AM
Just talk to him. Be open and honest, not clingy. Ask him more about this job, and what it means for his future goals. Find out why it's so important to him. And, if you're dying to know what it means about the relationship, ask. Say "I know we've been having fun, and I'm sad that you're leaving. What do you see happening with us when you leave?" Be prepared, though, that he may turn around and say, "well, what do you want to happen?" Then you need an answer. It's in your best interest to be truthful. If you want to be with him, don't say something like "I don't want to hold you back," because then he'll think that you won't be upset if he goes and dates other girls, but really, you will be upset. Don't set yourself up to be upset, especially if he can make you upset just by doing exactly what you've told him is okay. Remember, he cannot read your mind.
Monday, July 03, 2006, 11:47 AM
so what's happening, OP?
Monday, July 17, 2006, 1:39 PM
well, looking for an update...did he leave? did the op go with him?
Wednesday, July 26, 2006, 11:25 AM
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