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what do I say in a situation like this (which happens every time we are together) - When I am at my mothers and my sibloings are all around we of course eat dinner and sometimes it may be breakfasts, I eat out of cups or small bowls instead of large bowls or whatever most of the time I am snacking so I will grab something and put it in a cup.
I just came from my moms and my brother was there with the rest of my fam and he always makes a comment about it, like "Oh there she goes again with the cups, why do you eat like that, it's not normal what is wrong with you." And he is a huge jokester with a big heart so I know if I got pissed off he would say to calm down and that he was just joking but it bothers me so much.
I do it cause it's how I ate in college when I lived alone and weighed less, so it stuck, also it is good portion control for me. Today I just ignored him and let it go.
Next time I would like to say something that may get him to stop but I am not sure what to say that won't make it look like it bothers me.
Sun. Jul 2, 1:40pm
find his achilles heel and go after it. And after you do it say "just kidding"--- use a little of his own medicine on him.
Sunday, July 02, 2006, 2:04 PM
Why not just send him an email or give him a call? Tell him you know he doesn't mean to hurt your feelings but he does. That way the next time you see him it's over and done.
Sunday, July 02, 2006, 5:28 PM
I'd look him dead in the eye without a smile on my face and say
"Ya know what? I'm kinda sensitive about my weight and I'm attempting to eat a sane portion of food. I really don't 'get' what you find strange or funny about this and I'd appreciate it if you'd knock it off."
My brother would knock it off and I'd never hear about it again. He and I joke alot so he has no idea when he's hit a sensitive spot, so I tell him in no uncertain terms and then I totally let it go and so does he and it becomes a non-issue.
Personally I also don't get what's so strange or funny about it. Sounds like you are trying for some rational potion control and I suspect maybe he's sensitive about the amount he eats (this is pure conjecture, maybe he really does find humor in it).
Sunday, July 02, 2006, 5:46 PM
My brother is a big jokster also, and if he knows it bugs me, then he will continue and continue and continue, so I always just ignore him, and eventually he stops saying the bad things, once he figures out he can't bother me. So I recommend you just ignore him, soon he will stop bothering you once he figures out it doesn't bother you.
Sunday, July 02, 2006, 8:45 PM
(5:46 poster here) That is a good point. The strategy I use only works if you each respect each other's sensitive spots, which my brother and I do. It's only joking if we both find it funny. As soon as one party doesn't find it funny or it starts to hit a little too close to home we knock it off. At that point it's no longer 'joking'..
I would not for the world tease him about his thinning hair, but I'll cheerfully give him heck about his need to have his garage spotless. In turn he would never make a comment about my weight or what I eat (although I let him tease me about my 'hippy' food), but will gleefully tease me about 'my' need to have my kitchen arranged so neatly a blind person could use it. To me 'joking' is mutual or it's not a joke.
Sunday, July 02, 2006, 10:23 PM
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