EMAIL THREAD

Poll: How many pounds have you gained since you got married?

Me: 8 pounds. And I needed to lose 10 before we got married.

Mon. Aug 8, 7:26pm

Ooh, this is a good one. I gained about 30 lbs. in the first two years of my first marriage, then lost it all and more when I got divorced. I gained about 13 lbs. in the first four months of my second marriage, and that's when I joined PEERtrainer and I have lost it all in about 3 months.

Monday, August 08, 2005, 8:26 PM

"fat and happy," huh?

When I met my husband, I weighed 115 and was a size 4. I started gaining weight when we got engaged, and by the time we got married I was about 128 and a size 8. Five years and three kids later, I'm trying to get back down to 125 from 150. It's so easy to get lazy and complacent when you're with someone who loves you just the way you are - no matter what you look like. But you wake up one morning and look in the mirror and it dawns on you - - "uh oh! I'm fat!"
I've lost 11 pounds in the past 2 months and my muscles have gotten much more toned. And my husband, who thinks I'm sexy anyway, is finding me just a little bit sexier! : )

Monday, August 08, 2005, 8:32 PM

at least or about 10 lbs for each year... and I was about 30 over when I got married... When we met I was at my goal weight. He is a gooood cook. I have finally convinced him to not cook with butter.

Monday, August 08, 2005, 8:33 PM

approximately one pound for each year of marriage (26 years), but recently lost 10 lbs on this site.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 7:08 AM

why do you think this happens?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 7:47 AM

I just got engaged! I gained about 5lbs in the first 8 months that we dated, and I've taken about 2 of those off in the last 4 months. We're getting married in 13 months... Am I doomed, or is it good that I'm on PEERtrainer now and learning to curb my eating habits with my sweetie now?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 7:52 AM

Why?

I think we get "fat and happy". It's relaxing. You no longer have to be in tip top shape. But isn't that kind of a falsehood, you should want to look even better for the person you care most about.

For the above poster, you are not doomed! It's all a choice and you can both be active together. Make healthy dinners together, and keep one another in check.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 10:03 AM

I gained seven pounds in the first 6 months. Then I got pregnant. Then I gained 40! My daughter is almost 2, and I've got 11 lbs. to go! Then I'll pack it on with another pregancy! Not 40 lbs. though..

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 10:20 AM

we both gained!

My husband and I both love to cook and throw dinner parties, which is something that brought us together in the first place.... HOWEVER....
Over the first 4 years, both my husband and I gained about 30 pounds. Then we tried Atkins and we both lost about 20. Then we gained the 20 back, plus a few more pounds. I topped out at +35 pounds by the time we had been married 6 years. My husband had gained 60 pounds! At 9 years, I'm now down to my wedding weight, he's stalled at +30.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 11:07 AM

20-25 lbs in 6 years. Took about 20 off on Weght Watchers, put it all back on when I left off the discipline and now I'm losing it again (5 lbs so far).

It's definitely that you're more relaxed with the person you marry and tend to not worry so much about weight and looks.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 12:22 PM

pregnancy weight in addition to "marriage" weight...

3 kids in 3 years, 50-60 lbs. with EACH one. I'm about 15 lbs. away from my goal weight now, but all that weight gain did a number on my body. I have a lot of stretch marks and the skin on my belly is still pretty wrinkly. I'm hoping it will e v e n t u a l l y smooth out - but maybe I'm fantasizing...?

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 12:30 PM

I lost 8 lbs before our wedding in March of this year. But all the buffets on our honeymoon and also enjoying the time I have to cook lately, I've put on 10 lbs since getting married. I've lost a couple of pounds in the last month, but it's been a LOT harder to lose weight now that I'm married compared to when I was single.

This may sound rediculous, but I think for me it had a lot to do with the fact that my husband and I waited to have sex until we got married, and so I worked my butt off while we were engaged to be sure that I was happy with my body for our wedding night. But now that we've been happily married for several months and I'm a lot more comfortable with my naked self than I was before marriage - it IS a lot harder to get back into that mode where I feel the NEED and DRIVE to shape up. I know my husband loves my body right now as I am, but I need to keep reminding myself that "Yes he may love me as I am right now, but think about how much more he will be attracted to me if I keep working on slimming down more."

Is that the wrong attitude? I don't know. It's either the argument that you should not slim down in order to please someone else, but at the same time people argue that you should not let yourself go either just because you are married now and that you should always work hard to look good for your significant other.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 2:38 PM

When I started dating my husband I gained 15lbs in the 1st year, he gained a good bit as well. We broke up, I lost 10 in 6 months. We got back together, and I gained the 10 back. Then, I gained 50lbs during my pregnancy, lost 25lbs the week my daughter was born, and then stayed 40lbs over my ideal weight.
Since peertrainer, I've lost 10lbs.

I think its b/c we become relaxed, and want to hang out w/ your spouse instead of going to the gym or taking a walk. For me, its also a time factor.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005, 2:48 PM

My fiance and I belong to the same gym. I want to work off pudge and he wants to put on muscle. We work out together, or, at least, at the same time, so it's a motivator b/c I have a workout partner, and it's nice b/c we're still doing something together!

This only seems to work in the winter though, b/c in the summer, we just want to go sit outside somewhere and get margaritas or something...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005, 8:48 AM

No married yet

I am not married but have been dating for 3 years. I find that I always end up breaking my workout plans to hang out with him. He is one of those, will forever be skinny and lanky guys, so he doesn't worry about going to the gym or loosing weight. I've tried to get him to the gym by telling him it would help his overall health but that doesn't work. He just doesn't understand my struggle or constant reminder of extra weight every time I get dressed and especially put on a bathing suit (he has a boat we go out on alot.)

I feel as though I may be getting caught up in a downward spiral with my weight.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005, 9:41 AM

RE: No Married yet

If losing weight is important to you- you will either have to do it through diet or exercise and preferably both. If you have sat down and told him why you want him to come with you- and he does not listen this may be a prelude of behavior to come if you both do decide to marry. I reccomend the book "5 Love Languages." I am just assuming, but maybe spending time is one of your love languages, and that is why you want him to workout with you. Or maybe it is "acts of service." That by him coming and doing the task of coming with you, shows you he loves you. It may also show you how he loves you in his way- and alleviate your need for him to come out and work out with you.

Link

Wednesday, August 10, 2005, 11:50 AM

I lost weight at first, i was very diligent. Then I started to get comfortable, (less insecure) and things have been downhill from there.

Friday, August 26, 2005, 11:40 AM

About 20 pounds....GROSS

Monday, February 27, 2006, 8:20 PM

we put them first

The problem is we love/enjoy our partners company so much that we would rather be with them than in the gym working out. Make a committment to exercising either before or after you hang out with them...don't replace your workout....you will pay for it and will regret it. TRUST ME!

Monday, February 27, 2006, 8:28 PM

Married 9 years, gained at least 15 pounds (probably more like 20). Actually, I probably gained the 20 pounds in the last 5 years since moving!
Beth (babooshka)

Monday, February 27, 2006, 8:33 PM

When I met my hubby (at 18) in college, I weighed about 125-130. By the time I got married about 7 years later, I was at around 135- 138 lbs.

We've been married for 13 years and I am currently at about 174 (and dropping!) My highest weight was at about 188... which is not good for someone who is only 5'4" tall.

Hoping to drop down to around 138 again--when I was pretty fit, and healthy!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 11:52 AM

I was just married about 6 months ago, and I've actually lost weight since then. I was about 170 on my wedding day and now, I'm just a little over 163.

Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 11:58 AM

Before I got married I went from 250 down to 205-210. After I got married in May of 2004 I started gaining back the weight and thensome. I gained 70 lbs. in a year and a half. I think is mostly do to the fact when I lost weight before I got married I did it with Dr. prescribed pills and barely ate because I wasn't hungry. I was probably eating way under 1200 calories a day and totally freaked my body out. But, I am doing it the right way now. I have lost 18 lbs already and I am eating the right things, and I am doing it without pills.

-alias1013

Tuesday, February 28, 2006, 3:27 PM

It's so funny, I sat here and read almost everyone's reply to this question and realized that I went to the extreme. I got married in January 05. By January 06 I gained 50lbs. When I got married I was 210, so imagine.
Well, I just joined peertrainer so hopefully in a month or two I would be able to say, I lost 50lbs. *laughs*

Thursday, March 16, 2006, 1:34 AM

From the day I got married to my top weight it is probably about 100#. Down to about 70 pounds now.

PS - I'm still very happily married to the guy I married when I was 20 years old. And that was 30 years ago.

Thursday, March 16, 2006, 1:52 PM

Funny, I started to post and realize that I had already posted a few weeks ago! (115-125 at 18 and 188 at top weight - posted on 02/28)

I'm hoping to be skinny and happy by the time summer rolls around. It would be cool to actually wear a 2 piece bathing suit without feeling self-conscious for the 1st time in my life! :-)

One of the flashbacks that really makes me realize how much fatter I've gotten is that when I was 18, I could actually fit in his jeans (he was a 28" waist, but at 5-10" his legs were obviously longer than mine!)... Now, I wouldn't even want to try his jeans on, for fear of ripping a seam... but things are changing! :-)

My next task is to get my hubby to join me in ENJOYING exercise and making it a fun "together" thing to do... I worry about his health, even though he only has gained about 25-30 lbs since college (he was extremely skinny back in college, now he is "normal sized" for a guy--still thin, but not very health-conscious....

Thursday, March 16, 2006, 5:13 PM

sports?

What about trying a sport with the husbands, rather than trying to drag them to the gym? Like shoot some hoops, or play tennis, or rollerblade, or raquetball. Seems like guys fit in their exercise in more fun ways than women. I seldom see men in the aerobics classes, and I seldom see women playing a game of basketball with their friends. Why is this? Why do we exercise as "punishment" and they exercise as fun? Is it too weird to compete with women friends, even in a friendly game? Or are we not self-confident enough? I never did sports as a kid, maybe with title 9 things are changing...?

Friday, March 17, 2006, 1:01 AM

I topped out at 60 lbs above what I weighed when we got married. It took 16 years to put it on. Now I am trying to take it off. I have lost about 14 lbs since starting peertrainer. I have another 35 to go to get to my wedding day weight, which I really wanted to do by our anniversary in June. (don't think that will happen but I will be close) and then another 20-30 to my goal weight. My husband keeps asking me who I am losing this weight for..Whats his name? (in a joking tone) This is the longest I have stuck with eating correctly since we got married. He acctually has been real encouraging. Although he doesn't want me to lose to much. if I was a size 12-14 it would be fine for him.

Friday, March 17, 2006, 7:27 AM

Great Thread

I was 121 and a size 9 when I got married. Was married for 26 years and gain 70 pounds. When I left him ( 2/12 years ago) I've lost 8 pounds thanks to PT. He made me feel worthless and told me I was fat, ugly etc. so I turned to food but not anymore. I am worth something and I'm beautiful. I'm with a man now who makes me feel this way. He told me he fell in love with the person I am and don't care about my weight to him I'm sexy.

Friday, March 17, 2006, 11:43 AM

I'm not married -- but to the poster who asked why this happens, I will contribute the observation of an outsider:

Men can eat more than women without gaining weight. A lot of men can stay in great shape without ever worrying about how much butter they put on the vegetables, whether they should be cooking the bird with the skin on, etc. And once you are married to someone, there you are every night at the dinner table with him, eating the same stuff! And probably portions more like his, too.

I dunno, I think a lot of you are beating yourselves up with the "relaxing" explanation. Most of you are probably cooking for someone who likes higher-fat food than YOUR body can take, and are eating with someone who is a bad influence. ;-)

Friday, March 17, 2006, 11:52 AM

Too Much!

Between getting married and having a child, I went from 5'6" at 103 lbs to 5'6" at 140 lbs in 8 years. And in the middle of that, quit smoking which didn't help weight wise either. However, I am healthier now than I was at 103 lbs because I eat better, exercise and don't smoke anymore! :o)

Friday, March 17, 2006, 1:15 PM

When I met my husband, I weighed 137. I worked out consistently and then once we started dating, due to our different work schedules, I would skp my workout to hang out with him. Plus, as one outsider wrote, I ate like he did. He ate more, so I ate more without thinking about it. Plus, he ate out fast food almost daily. So here came the pounds. Once were were married, I weighed about 154 or so. Now a year and a half later, I am at 157, with a current weight loss from 165. My weight was climbing out of control and thanks to my group and their accountability, I am losing weight and learning to control my food portions, make better choices, and above all, exercise without excuse. We are worth it. We owe that much to ourselves to take care of ourselves.

Friday, March 17, 2006, 1:25 PM

I just got married in May 2010 and gained 10 lbs in 6 months! It's so discouraging to gain back the weight I worked so hard to lose for the wedding. That's why I'm on Peertrainer. Hopefully, I can drop down to my IBW of at least 145# by the time I get pregnant (120# would be nice though)

Thursday, December 09, 2010, 11:25 PM

I gained 20 pounds but I am now skinnier than I was when we first got married. My butt is half the size! I like looking good for my husband!!

Friday, December 10, 2010, 2:00 PM

When I married, I was 105 pounds at 19 (size 0/2), hubby 210 at 24. Easy to remember because my tall, well-built hubby was twice my weight. :)

5 years of marriage and two kids later, I'm 128# and he's 235#. So I've gained 23# (now a size 4), and him 25#. I'd like to be about 120, and he'd like to be about 220.

Saturday, December 11, 2010, 6:01 PM

I was about ten pounds over where I would like to have been when we were married, and since I have gained about fifteen pounds (it's been less than two years, embarrassingly enough).

Monday, December 13, 2010, 8:48 AM

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