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if you don't have something nice to say...

...don't say anything at all. does any one think this adage is good advise on a site like this? i haven't come across a lot of evidence of this, but think it might be good to remember...

Mon. Jul 31, 3:54pm

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NO Comment@!

NO Comment@!

Monday, July 31, 2006, 3:57 PM

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Isn't this why we're all here and we have a weight problem? because we were told not to say anything that was unpleasant and we "eat" our negativity?

Monday, July 31, 2006, 3:59 PM

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To the OP Poster

I agree with you 100%. Some people on these posts seem to be completely unhappy and agree people. Seems they just want to bring everyone down to their level.

Monday, July 31, 2006, 3:59 PM

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My Post Above

I meant -- the rude people that respond on here -- seem to be UNHAPPY AND ANGRY.

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:00 PM

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Maybe thats why people are so nasty...we're all too hungry and grumpy!!! :) I don't know, if its between the brownie and lashing out at me, I guess you can lash out on me....until you upset me so much that I start eating brownies!!! Happy Monday, everyone!!

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:00 PM

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I agree with the 3:59 poster. I believe being honest is sometimes more useful than being nice.

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:03 PM

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4PM Poster

Wonderfully stated :)

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:03 PM

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to 7/31, 3:59

i do not have a weight problem because of the reasons you suggested. i also was not told not to say anything unpleasant. i was taught, and have learned from experience, that one needn't be rude when providing support to others, even when that support may be constructive criticism. there seems to be a lot of hostility on some threads. maybe someone should start a "get your anger out here" thread for everyone to be nasty on purpose-as a release?

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:09 PM

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Haha! 4:09 poster, I love the idea! I wish we could post some really skinny, toned, bikini-clad girls (or guys, i guess) on that thread as well. Kind of like throwing darts at an ex-boyfriend's pic! :)

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:12 PM

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I'm sure you're "breastplant" question girl. I'm not nasty. I wish you would go away.

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:13 PM

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7/31, 4:13 poster

OP here and actually, i am not the "breast implant" questioner. however, i don't like reading posts like yours and wanted to hear what the other members thought about negativity. thanks for contirbuting to this thread! you really help exemplify what i mean.

Monday, July 31, 2006, 4:19 PM

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4:13 poster...yes, the breast plant question is stupid. HOWEVER, it's certainly not offensive, so chill out. You ARE nasty and are exactly the reason why the OP here started this thread.

Monday, July 31, 2006, 5:01 PM

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I don't have anything nice to say!

Monday, July 31, 2006, 5:48 PM

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i think we ALL probably can be nasty on occassion-depending on our mood, how our day went, what we just ate (oh the horror!) etc. . . . but . . .i do think that there are some people on this site in particular who just seem hell bent on bursting other people's bubbles-it must just be their nature. (oh, and i wouldn't be surprised if some of the nasty posts we've read lately were the same people! (not saying i've never been the jerk on a thread!)

i think a good way to get people to think before they lash out would be to have our names attached to our posts . . .maybe some people would still be nasty to the core, but it might remind the rest of us to talk to each other like we would our friends.

andrea q

Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 12:24 AM

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I haven't read the breast implant question thread as I have no interest in it, but someone has made a comment that implies this thread is a reaction to it.

My personal opinion here is that too many people only want others to agree, and seek blind support instead of knowledge. I won't support anyone doing slimfast, as I don't think it's healthy, and I'm entitled to say that. I don't have to be insulting, but I don't have to be nice and sugar coat it either. I have better things to do than coddle people. It seems we're all adults here, I'm sure we have more important things to worry about than someone not being supportive the way we want them to be.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 2:29 AM

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I don't know if this has been said as I have not read all the posts... But I'm starting to get really annoyed with the off topic comments or just unhelpful comments in some of these threads. For example if someone is asking about something you don't believe in, we don't need 100 people to say so. They want information; so explain why you don't agree!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 8:12 AM

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To the 2:29 poster - I don't think this thread is about people who have reasoned explanations for why they don't agree with something or don't think it's a good idea. More about people who don't have any useful information in their posts, just a rude comment like "that's ridiculous."

Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 9:14 AM

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op here. my point is basically that the rude posts are completely unproductive and not necessary. i politely suggest that we offer opinions-agreeable or not-that pertain to each thread's topic. name calling and ridiculing is such a waste of energy. as i posted before, it's been my experience that one needn't be rude to be honest. constructive criticism is helpful, but just bashing someone's questions/ideas is not.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006, 9:51 AM

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Too general for me

I'd rather just try to say what I can without being deliberately hurtful or offensive, but without couching it so much in niceities that the impact is gone.

Assertive vs aggressive.

Friday, August 04, 2006, 6:16 AM

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I completely agree with the above poster- its hard to find the right balance.
When im not typing, i tend to come off as pushy- and when im typing and dont re-read what i just wrote- i can be called pushy too! LOL
Ok, ok, maybe im just a *bit * pushy or talk ABOUT MY OPNIONS too much!

~workout25

Saturday, August 05, 2006, 11:01 AM

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seems some of us still have differing opinions on this subject...

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 12:49 PM

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That is what I abide by....I read a lot of links that I don't agree with so I just don't respond. I think it is better to not respond than to respond negatively and possibly hurt someones feelings.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 8:39 PM

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it seems about that time again-to remind others of the pleasantries of manners and the importance of offering support on this particular site. where is the love, people?

Thursday, January 25, 2007, 2:35 PM

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Writing, Reading, Interpretation

When people are writing things, hence others reading them, that leaves A LOT up to personal interpretation.

Some people outright type hurtful things, perhaps they have their own demons to battle and one way of letting out some of the steam is by "bullying" strangers.

Most of the time it is harmless, annoying, but nonetheless harmless.

On the other hand, some people are overly sensitive.

Whatever you read, no matter how you interpret it, take it with a grain of salt and move on :)

Cheers!

Thursday, January 25, 2007, 3:44 PM

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Oh dear god, I think we need more men on this site.

Thursday, January 25, 2007, 5:31 PM

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This is one reason it's better to have IDs attached to all posts. You can't do a "hit and run" that way. Not that we know each other by our real names, but generally the people with social skills so poor that they can't tell the difference between discussion and insults, and emotional maturity so scant that their "anger incontinence" has them leaking spitefulness all over a board, end up hanging out together, ostracized by the majority.

Friday, January 26, 2007, 12:37 PM

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if my name was attached to my postings, i question whether i would ask about such subjects as "crotch sweat", no sex drive, meds i've been on, what i've eaten. i have a private group so i can keep private things private. this anonymous forum is great for asking such things.

Friday, January 26, 2007, 1:04 PM

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Some sites have a "block user" function so that you can block someone's comments if they offend you... In other words, if you don't want to read those posts, you don't have to.... (It only blocks it in your view-- it stays open for others to see.) PT does not have that kind of a function... Maybe that would be a good suggestion to the PT people?

Such "negative comments" are calle "Flaming" and lots of people get into Flame Wars...

Also, in regard to attaching a person's ID-- if you want to, you could always create a new ID just for you to ask the sensitive questions-- you aren't obligated to put any personal info (pictures, links, location, etc.) on your profiles,...so noone knows who you really are....

Saturday, January 27, 2007, 2:18 AM

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This saying never made sense to me

Sometimes you have to give criticism.

You just have to ask 'Is this a situation for silence, or for constructive criticism."



Sunday, January 28, 2007, 8:45 PM

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"....something nice to say..." does not mean that if you can't compliment someone, don't talk to them. it means that you needn't be insulting and / or demeaning to get a point across. go ahead and criticize, but do so in order to provide a perspective from which the recipient of the criticism can view his/ her situation as something he / she can change to improve. you see the difference.

Friday, April 20, 2007, 4:13 PM

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"If you don't have anything nice to say..."
Where do you live -- Stepford??

Wednesday, May 16, 2007, 8:00 PM

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who knew the concept was so offensive and foreign to so many...?

Thursday, May 17, 2007, 9:17 AM

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Sometimes this community reminds me of why I prefer the company of men. Consider growing some thicker skin, I doubt it will result in much weight gain.

Thursday, May 17, 2007, 9:33 AM

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food for thought

funny, sometimes the comments that are viewed as angry or negative get me thinking. Sometimes they get me to see things from a point of view I might not have considered before, even if it was said in a way that some might find offensive.

Thursday, May 17, 2007, 2:20 PM

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