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"Support"

How do you relate to this word- positively or negatively? do you prefer to be motivated?

Sat. Aug 12, 10:15am

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For what it's worth, I'll share a quote I remember from the UNC-Chapel Hill coach who coached his women's soccer team into a record-breaking championship team, "Coaching women and men is different. Women need to be built up, men need to be torn down." I hope this thread does not deteriorate into a battle of the sexes, but I would like to share the insight of a championship coach who made the point that different people are motivated differently.

Personally, I need positive uplifting words. If anyone tries to shame me or push me into greater activity, I'm likely to walk away and not return.

This is an interesting topic. Thanks for bringing it up.

Saturday, August 12, 2006, 11:47 AM

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I guess I like both support AND motivation, each in its proper context. I tend to be more self-motivated and less self-supportive, though, so need more external positive reinforcement.

About online "support": People have such odd spots of sensitivity, many of which one can't guess beforehand. So sometimes it's good to keep the kid gloves on, because something totally innocuous can easily be mis-interpreted.

To use myself as a psycho example, I hate being called "skinny!" I know it's meant as a compliment (most of the time), but I have to talk myself into taking it that way. It's all positive when someone says, "You look so good!" though.

Saturday, August 12, 2006, 1:41 PM

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And I thought this thread was going to be about picking out the right sports bra.

I guess whether I want positive or negative support depends on what I ask for. It never helped when my mom would tell me that I didn't need to be eating whatever it was that I was eating. It never helped when she pushed the gym on me or asked me to go walking with her. But moving away, and being alone, and my roommate telling me her weightloss plans was enough to lose me 55 pounds in a year.

Remembering seemingly innocuous comments (my main kickstart was a cute guy I know telling me that his ex looked like Pocahontas and therefore was hot) is enough support to keep me on my path. Knowing that my pants and, yes, my bras, are too big to be "supporting" me are helping as well. And when I tell the people in my groups here on PT that I want them to kick my butt when I don't do something good or do something bad, I expect them to show me that support.

Saturday, August 12, 2006, 6:47 PM

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LOL, me too! (about the support bra! )
I love motivational and kind "support" ........i also love it when someone of better fitness leven encourages me to "keep up" with them- GREAT workout!

Saturday, August 12, 2006, 7:05 PM

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I'm a woman, and the lovey dovey fluffly you go girl support nauseates me. I need someone simply to say "good job" when I did what I was supposed to, but to kick my butt if I slack off. I have my own drive, and nothing makes me go "faster"- I'm doing this for me, so I don't need positive encouragement from others. However, when people tell me I'm slacking off or not doing my best, then it kicks me into gear because I'm competitive.

I had an aunt mention she used to swim 100 laps in an hour when she was younger- at the time, I could only swim about a mile (64 laps) in 45 minutes. I of course, figured I could beat that, so now, I sometimes do 120 laps in 1hr 5 min just to smirk to myself and say "I'm still better".

This might be in part though because I compete with what I can do, not how I look. Beauty is subjective- ability is objective- and that's what matters more to me.

Sunday, August 13, 2006, 10:40 PM

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for me, having support IS motivating in and of itself. if others believe i can do what i set out to do, it builds up motivation to continue even when i feel defeated.

Monday, August 14, 2006, 9:45 AM

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support: hold up, sustain, back, defend, encouragement, comfort
motivate: impel, push, spur on, inspire, stimulate, encourage

I am also very self-motivated. I push myself and play games like "How fast can I bike this distance?" I typically motivate other people as well.

I like to feel supported though - if I am making healthy eating choices, I like having someone there with me saying "let's get a salad instead of hot dogs." I can support myself, but it's nice when someone else is there, like adding an extra leg to stand on. I love when people come to events to cheer me on (and hate when my BF sleeps in instead - it makes me feel so unsupported). Support can sometimes become motivation then - if someone is cheering you on in a race, it might motivate you to run faster.

But, I sometimes have a hard time asking for help (and support), not sure how that relates.

Monday, August 14, 2006, 12:52 PM

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It's not the word, it's the action! I don't care if someone thinks they are "supporting" or "motivating" me, just so long as I know they are completely behind me and eager to help me succeed.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006, 11:42 AM

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can you give an example of how a group member successfully supported you?

Friday, September 08, 2006, 11:29 AM

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I react positively to positive sipport and I don't consider negitive remarks or keeping my inventory support at all. As a matter of fact I perfer if my great husband of 24 years just stays out of my dieting endevors. I am happy when i get compliments though. In the not to far distant past if some one made a negitive remark to me about my weight or even tried to watch me or control me I would go out and eat 2 candy bars or some other fatting thing. Now i go on peer trainer. It probaly stems from my childhood wher I was always told I was fat ( only by about 20lbs at the tim) and I should just push away from the table. I was never allowed to much in the sweets dept. So I began to babysit earn money buy fattening food and binge. I now have gotten to the piont I forgive my father. He was just trying to lead me down a skinny path . It is sad at this piont I I have to lose about 65lbs having already lost 25. So it is kinda silly that I was yelled out for being 20lbs overweight. It is funny I didn't have much trouble getting a date when I was young and I married a good looking wonderful guy. God was very good to me. Now I need to get healthy. Sorry for rambling

Saturday, September 09, 2006, 7:37 AM

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