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Rant...

Am I the only one who finds it so frustrating that many women tie in their weight to their self worth? Wanting to lose wieght so that they "Feel better about themselves" and things like feeling too overweight to start exercising or are reallly bothered by being bigger than the man who loves them as they are?

I mean, it's one thing to want to do it for health reasons (which would imply the method you use to lose weight should be a healthy one with healthy food...) or to lose the weight so you can do things like run around with your children or run a marathon for the fun of it.

But I find it so sad that so many women here still tie weight into self worth. What happened to "I am woman, hear me roar" Why is it "I"ll roar when I'm skinny like other people" (And don't even get me started on wanting to be like airbrushed models- have you seen the cellulite on mischa bartons butt? WORSE than mine...)

So often I've read that women percieve their ideal size to be about two sizes smaller than what a guy considers ideal. And I can't even begin to count the amount of guys who have said they get irrate with women who obsess over their weight. Does anyone else share my frustration?


Thu. Aug 17, 3:14pm

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Well, comments like "have you seen the cellulite on so-and-so's butt" are a part of the problem. We judge each other harshly, and we turn that same judgemental eye on ourselves.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:32 PM

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I want to look good for myself -- not for any man. And I don't think that wanting to look good and be fit and attractive is a bad thing. I know for myself, when I look good, I am more confident and happy. But I do understand how bad it is with the media hype and the over-obssession to be "perfect".

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:33 PM

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I understand what you're saying. However, I think that perhaps you're judging these women too harshly. From what I can tell, when they say that they would like to lose weight to feel better about themselves there is something else behind that feeling then just the weight that they carry. I don't think they necessarily equate being overweight to low self esteem but maybe to the reasons why they are overweight. Many women and men are overweight because of the reasons why they eat, or the reasons why they don't exercise. And while they can feel perfectly okay with who they are as a person, if you don't feel comfortable in your own skin, if you know it's not healthy to be the weight that you are... why shouldn't they want to lose weight to feel better about themselves? They're not always saying they don't like themselves, they're saying, I'm okay, but I'd really like to improve who I am, what I am, and how I look. And I think everyone feels better about themselves after they accomplish a goal, why shouldn't that goal be something that leads to a healthier life?

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:36 PM

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3:36 Poster

Perfectly stated! I agree. For MOST (not all) that are overweight -- it is because of bad self esteem first has let them get to that point.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:38 PM

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i understand the op's frustration, although i am not that type of person who ties my self worth into my body shape/weight. it's a very common train of thought, so many people feel normal in thinking that way. all we can do is remind each other that looks, even cellulite, aren't truly the measure of a person's worth. it really becomes more clear as i age that beauty is skin deep, and it's what on the inside that counts.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:40 PM

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why do people need to be thinner to feel better about themselves??

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:40 PM

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It drives me nuts when perfectly healthy women spend all their time talking about their weight. And I really hate when skinny women do it, because I feel like they're insulting me (and I like my weight, thankyouverymuch) without even thinking about it. At the same time, it drives me nuts when terribly obese people delude themselves about their size.

For me, I love my body, even the less-than-perfect parts. However, even though it drives me nuts in other people, I also get uneasy when I start comparing myself to others, which is silly, but that's how it is.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 3:48 PM

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3:40 - because most of us are constantly bombarded with the message that thin is beautiful and beauty is more important than character or intelligence.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 4:08 PM

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3:40

Because you actually LOOK better when you are at a HEALTHY weight.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 4:11 PM

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i think that the idea of losing weight to feel better about oneself is leaving out a key step. you set a goal to "lose weight" so that you can be healthy. then you feel better about yourself because you accomplished a goal. but i have to stress that being thin and being healthy are not the same thing, and we all know that. the real goal, hopefully, is to be healthy. and, hopefully, weight loss will come with meeting that goal. an improved self-esteem comes with knowing that we are taking good care of ourselves and meeting a tough goal.

but i still stick with my theory that a happy size 14 who feels good about herself and is confident that she is living as healthy as possible (both mentally and physically) is more attractive than a size 4 who thinks she is ugly and fat.

Thursday, August 17, 2006, 4:15 PM

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