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my date is too aggressive

Dating question....

The guy I am seeing is amazing, personality and looks, he's 33 and I am 25.

We'll go out for drinks and talk and then he'll walk me to my car and start kissing me and then starts saying things like "lets get out of here....take me to your place....I want to give you a back rub..." But it doesn't stop even after telling him that I know his tricks and he's "never gonna get it" like the en vougue song!

I guess my question is do I keep putting myself in this situation cause he's so hot, and I like the attention or stop wasting my time? I was thinking maybe I 'll just see how long he will stick around for.

Fri. Aug 18, 10:48am

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Well, what DO you want from your relationship with this guy?
If you don't know, he isn't going to psychically figure it out. If you want to be friends but not lovers, you are going to have to say so.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 10:52 AM

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hanging around him would appear to me to be encouraging his advances, teasing him, or leading him on. it does not seem that your message is getting across, but if you discontinue seeing him, maybe it will. be careful!

Friday, August 18, 2006, 10:53 AM

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thank you your so right!

Friday, August 18, 2006, 10:53 AM

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I say ditch him... it seems kind of obvious to me that he's not going to change his style and no matter how hot he is... that would just get on my nerves... besides... instead of wasting time with him you should be looking for someone worthy of your time and attention... one who isn't obnoxious!

Friday, August 18, 2006, 10:54 AM

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You know what he wants, and if it's not what you want...go find someone who wants what you want!

Friday, August 18, 2006, 10:58 AM

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Life is short and youth is even shorter. I say figure out what you want in a partner, see if he fits the bill, and then march on or dump him.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 11:08 AM

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If he can't take "no" for an answer - that's A) disrespectful and B) potentially dangerous.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 12:34 PM

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Is this a real post? OP, how old are you?

Friday, August 18, 2006, 12:35 PM

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read the opening post. it says she is 25.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 12:36 PM

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Question for the OP: Are you worried that if you state clearly and unequivocally that you will not sleep with him until "x" time, that he'll go away? He seems like he wants one thing only rather you as a person. If he wants you as a person, then he would have backed-off as much as he would have wanted you to say yes.

He may be hot, but there are lots of hot guys out there and hot guys around whom you can be yourself and be respected for yourself.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 2:51 PM

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And if you stick around, you may get attached to him and it'll be harder to separate or break it off with him.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 2:52 PM

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Another viewpoint...

Why are you dating him if he's "never gonna get it"? Isn't he eventually going to "get it"? If you're not eventually going to give "it" to him (whether it's soon or in a year or whatever), it's called friendship, and you should not continue to let him think you are dating. Don't let him buy you dinner or whatever or appear like you're on dates if you don't intend on ever giving it to him. It's just not nice, and it can be misleading.

Note, I do not mean that you need to "give it up" now. But if he's not the kind of guy who you would ever consider sleeping with (and I'd guess you couldn't picture yourself ever marryign him either if those are your thoughts), why are you wasting both of yoru time?

Friday, August 18, 2006, 3:55 PM

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i do not believe in premarital sex. i have dated several men who share my belief. i definitely have different feeling for the men i date than for the men i am friends with. there are many ways of communicating with a potential mate/life partner without sex, believe it or not. open your mind and you open opportunities...a good, solid foundation is most important, in my opinion.

Friday, August 18, 2006, 8:26 PM

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I sure don't miss being young. You will find the right guy. Be patient and follow your heart. gaga

Friday, August 18, 2006, 8:34 PM

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OP here-
Thanks everybody, you say the things that I know and keep telling myself I just have to start doing!

We went out last night and he asked again and I told him again and them I started to explain my veiw on things, and I said, "I'm not trying to jump into anything!" and he started to laugh and put his hand over his face and said,"that was a bad choice of words!" and I was like "what do you mean!!"

Obviously he is only after that! The sad part is is that as much as I was trying to picture myself with him I couldn't so, I am just going to say to hell with it and stop wasting my time.

Last night after I said those things to him and stood up for myself I felt a bit liberated and strong! It was a great feeling, and makes a good ending to this story! : )

Saturday, August 19, 2006, 11:39 AM

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don't worry about trying to find a man! especially one who wants you just for sex! try out all of your options, knowing you can always find the formerly mentioned! it will be harder to find a satisfying relationship if you start including too many aspects of your life that you rely on another person to fulfill for you. keep it simple. you always have the option of adding a new facet to a realtionship that is already strong and full of trust and respect. good for you for speaking your mind!

Saturday, August 19, 2006, 3:11 PM

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Well - he definitely comes off (~*snicker*~) sounding like a bit of a jerk :P

I think you did great! and it definitely sounds like deep inside you knew him for what he was and kudos for recognizing it and standing up for yourself and what you know is right for you! :-)

Saturday, August 19, 2006, 5:41 PM

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It sounds like the "I don't believe in premarital sex" conversation needs to happen earlier in the relationship. You'll actually have to come right out and say it. Yes, it's awkward. Yes, that will scare a lot of guys off, but if a guy is scared off by that, then he isn't for you. You want someone who shares your values, not somebody you're going to have to fight off at the end of every date.

Saturday, August 19, 2006, 7:43 PM

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i am the poster of the above mentioned thread, not the OP. and i don't bring it up until appropriate, just as those who do practise pre-marital sex do not usually right away tell interested parties that they WILL have sex with them. that seems awkward to me.

Monday, August 21, 2006, 3:38 PM

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I think folding the flop is a great option. you're relative position to the bettor sucks so calling probably isnt right. raising is probably better than calling since you probably want to cut the field down... but the pot is very small here. you're only getting 4:1 on a raise. testking 70-432 Since you've raised and he 3!: with 5 outs getting 8:1, calling here is pretty thin. He's represented a lot of strength, you dont have a good read on him. You may hit 2 pair on the turn, and lose when the board pairs to conterfiet your hand or when he pairs his kicker - while this posibility is small, it does devalue your hand. He might already have 2 pair, but i think its very unlikely. I kind of think he's on TP with Kxs or KTo? I think you should fold to a 3!. your 5 out draw is a weak one. testking 352-001 getting a free river card is nice. very strange on his part since any good 5 out hand can easily call his 3! and will likely be a big threat to him... maybe the c/r confused him due to the very small pot. testking 646-223 bet the river. he might think that he's slowed down a better hand. the 6 is a good card for him because a weak kicker will not play now & he'll now have Kings up, 2nd kicker, but without a read on him you can't know how often he'll bet or even whether he recognizes that the 6 improved his hand. I think he'll call you a huge proportion of the time on the river.

Thursday, September 03, 2009, 7:39 AM

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send him my way. I haven't gotten any in awhile.

Friday, September 04, 2009, 1:14 PM

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