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Would you allow your 11 year old to shave her legs?

Do you think that is too young? She is half Puerto Rican and pretty hairy! She wants to, but do you think that is old enough?

Fri. Aug 25, 11:47am

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I remember starting to shave my legs when I was in 7th or 8th grade, but I'm fair skinned and the hairs were light. If she's self-concious about her legs and/or if she's being teased by other kids at school, I would let her. Just be sure to teach her how to use short, careful strokes. My biggest worry would be that she would accidentally cut herself. Good luck!

Friday, August 25, 2006, 11:51 AM

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I started shaving my legs about that age. I would let her, why not? Especially if she feels self concious about it.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 11:56 AM

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I started when I was 12

Oh I very much remember the agony of adolescent self-consciousness. I had fair skin and black hair and my mom didn't really want me to, but I told she didn't have to wear shorts for gym class! I bought razors and shaving cream out of my own money and just did it. Other girls can be pretty snarky about stuff like that, so I'm also in the 'just let her and teach her how' crowd.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:10 PM

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ok First off I'm 20...lol now.. I never got what the big deal was. Could some Mother explain it to me please? If she has hair, and she thinks she should, then what is the big deal? Is it one of those mother complex's of trying to keep their kids young?

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:20 PM

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I started shaving my legs the summer between 5th grade and 6th grade - between elementary school and middle school. All of my friends, pretty much, started shaving their legs then too. I think I was 10, almost 11.

My mom only let me use an electric razor though, because she was afraid that I'd cut myself. I think that lasted about a year.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:21 PM

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I would let her epilate, but I would wax her legs (you can do it for her). At that age, she's small enough that it takes much less time to wax the whole leg than it does for an adult (especially if she's only bothered about up to the knee), and it means she doesn't have to worry about it for a good 5-6 weeks. It also feels very soft when the hairs grow back, not annoying like stubble, so it can make her feel like the other girls who are probably not shaving yet.

It's really very, very, very easy to do -- and you might both find yourselves giggling over everything getting sticky -- it was quite the bonding experience between my mother and me.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:21 PM

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Hm. "allow"? I'm pretty sure she can go to a store and buy a razor or borrow yours. You may as well take this time to educate her on safe shaving practices =)

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:21 PM

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I let my daughter shave and wear make-up at a younger age than I did. I remembered the peer pressure to fit in and look nice. I also believed that shaving and make-up were pretty minor issues, compared to the weightier issues that could come up later, and I wanted to save my goodwill with her for other issues, like perhaps drugs and sex, that might come up later. By the way, she's 21 years old now, and making pretty good decisions as far as I can tell.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:24 PM

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My daughter was 11 when I bought her first shaving kit. She is in a lot of sports and was starting to get uncomfortable with the way she looked. I taught her the proper way she should shave and take care of her skin. I also made it clear that once she started it was something she would have to continue. She is now thirteen. I don't regret it , it helped her feel more confident and has a parent I think its up to us to help them .

Friday, August 25, 2006, 12:36 PM

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Please consider teaching her to wax. As she is young, the hair is probably still rather fine and won't hurt. When I started to feel like a sasquatch (around her age. maybe 12.), my mother bought me those pre-prepared cold wax strips (these days I use an epilator), and I can't tell you how many friends say they wish their mother had done the same. As I've always removed my hair and not shaved it for years, there's barely any left. I go over them once a month if that, and shaving (and all it's costs!) has never had to be a part of my morning routine. Just another option...

Friday, August 25, 2006, 1:13 PM

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Oh, god. Just made a ninny of myself by not reading all the responses. Suffice it to say, I'm the 1:13 poster, and heartily second the 12:21!

Friday, August 25, 2006, 1:16 PM

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i started shaving at 11 in the 6th grade, but i was a swimmer and used the excuse that it was for speed, not appearance. but deep down i know it was really for appearance. but the first time i shaved it was just a little experiment in the shower. i shaved one leg completely, then got bored and just did a stripe down the other leg. it was the middle of winter and i thought it didn't matter. but stupid me, i had swim practice that day and my little experiment was quite noticeable.

although your daughter may be young, the subject of shaving her underarms and bikini line may be an issue next summer, so why not talk about all of it now while she's interested in shaving her legs? she certainly won't ask you herself about the bikini line subject.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 1:54 PM

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I have had great luck with Nads (alternative to waxing). You get multiple uses out of the carton, you don't have to heat it in the microwave and risk burning yourself and it washes off with water.

My biggest dislike of shaving is cutting myself. I haven't shaved my legs in years because I hated the cuts. If she wants to shave, offer her a safety brand like Flicker or whatever to at least start.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 2:11 PM

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I can completely relate with your daughter. I started shaving my legs around her age. My mom is 3/4 mexican and my dad is blond haired/blue eyed. That left me with light skin and very dark hair. I was so grateful that my mom allowed me to start shaving because I remember the gym class gossip about the girls who didn't. I'm not saying it's good to give in to peer pressure, but at that age it's a bit of a survival tool!

Friday, August 25, 2006, 3:18 PM

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I too started around our daughter's age-- except my mom wasn't supportive at all. She told me that I should never start shaving my legs time after time after time, but I happen to have fair scadinavian skin with thick, dark Russian hair- not a good combo. My self-esteem was shot- my "friends" made fun of me and when I started shaving my mom was soooo dissapointed in me. (btw she was this way about everything: bras, deoderant, make-up, eyebrow shaping, and hair styling-- I was one ugly looking kid and it didn't get better until my mid-twenties!)

So this is my public service anouncement: please help your girls be "girly"- if she seems intrested in doing something new it's for a reason. Help her make the right decisions about her body in a healthy way so that she has the confidence and respect to love who she is.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 4:25 PM

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Ugh, I was so unaware of growing up that my mother had to bring up the subject of shaving first. I was 12 or 13, can't really remember. But I do remember being horrified when I got a training bra for my 12th birthday. To this day I only do the minimum grooming and frequently wish I knew more about this stuff.

So 11 is fine, it's when all the changes start. It's definitely time to kick off all the little lessons that will help her grow up to be a normal teenager and eventually a polished young woman. If you don't feel like doing this with her, maybe you have a sister? Sometimes the aunt-niece relationship is ideal for this kind of interaction.

Friday, August 25, 2006, 7:36 PM

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YES

My Mom never took the time to address hair removal, and we even have a problem with upper lip hair- I suffered in ignorance until I discovered upper hair bleach, and then wax. Now I am totally hair-opposed (except for the one on your head and neat eyebrows!) Let the girl do it- it's gotta be embarrasing, especially in the summer!

Friday, August 25, 2006, 7:42 PM

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I started when I was 11 as well...

Friday, August 25, 2006, 7:53 PM

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most definately!!!! If your daughter has asked she came to you first help her.... you don't want her to learn the lesson of my mom won't help me....

Friday, August 25, 2006, 9:01 PM

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I agree that 11 is definitely the perfect age to start. When I was in 6th grade I got teased for having "hairy legs" and was very embarrassed. I ended up learning from a 4th grader (silly me had the razor going the wrong way at first!) and she and her mother helped me buy razors and shaving cream that I had to keep hidden from my mother until she accepted it later on in high school. Please do not make your daughter feel the shame I felt, help her feel like her body changing is a natural occurance that she should be proud of. If it weren't for my friend's kindness I would have been much more miserable! Its better that you be her role model so she knows she can come to you and trust you when bigger issues come along later (by the way, I'm 23 now and still barely come to my mother about things because I learned very early it didn't work very well, so think about it).

Friday, August 25, 2006, 10:30 PM

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I too will have to face this issue with my daughter one day. I started shaving quite young as well behind my mother's back because she did not want me too. I don't know if this is a myth or not, but my Mom always said wait to shave or it will be really bad when you are older since the hair will grow back twice as fast and three times as thick. Oh.. and the worst part dark. I am really blond. Not the case with anywhere I shave. I have waxed and it still grows back a lot quicker than it should. It is also quite expensive. I have failed to do it on my own successfully. I think that would really hurt an 11 year old. Maybe not. Why is hair such a big deal in the US? I think it won't matter what you say or don't say. If everyone at school is shaving nothing will stop her from doing it. Peer pressure is so crazy at that age.

Sunday, August 27, 2006, 10:59 AM

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yup- I was teased about leg hair at first (among lots of other things)- my mom would not let me shave for awhile till I made her give in. She later said she was only nervous about me cutting myself. She tried to give me an epilator later on for Christmas... I nearly throttled her for it when I found out how much it hurt. So I was using nair for awhile.
Now in my adult life I have gone to the other extreme at times hardly shaving at all in the winter... or once a week.
Let her do it.

Sunday, August 27, 2006, 1:37 PM

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i am 37 and have shaved only a copuple of times. i find it completely unnecessary, but did so for a couple of weddings i attended. the last time was about 3 years ago. why is it important? just for looks, right?

Monday, August 28, 2006, 11:44 AM

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To the 11:44 Poster

Do you have very dark, long hairs on your legs? Well, yes - most people do it for looks and I think hygeine as well. When you sweat and you are hairy -- there is usually a bad odor. But for a pre-teen or teen, many get teased because of it, especially if they are active in sports.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 11:48 AM

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To the 11:44 Poster

Why don't you shave? Are you just too lazy or you just don't care how you look?

Monday, August 28, 2006, 11:49 AM

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To the Poster that doesn't shave?

why did you shave for the weddings? did you shave for your own wedding?

Monday, August 28, 2006, 11:50 AM

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I'm not the 11:44 poster, but for the information of the 11:49 poster, not EVERYONE thinks leg hair looks bad. The anti-leg-hair thing is kind of a North American cultural peculiarity -- in a lot of other places, it's not a huge deal, esp. if women don't go around with their legs exposed.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 12:05 PM

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1144 here

to 11:49-well, actually, neither of the choice answers you provided actually explains my reasons. if you are not just slinging mud at me and are interested, it's because i got irritated skin the few times i did shave. and i did so mostly so people like you would not accost me at someone's wedding, if they had too many drinks or were just outright rude, and ask me that question. i choose not to shave because i think it is nature's law that i have hair on my body, so i leave it there. it poses no health problems for me. i can understand that girls/women in the US are taught to shave, but i am curious as to the reasons behind that lesson. i don't sweat a lot on my legs and i shower and use a cleanser, so odor is not a problem for me. i am not unsanitary, i just do not shave. i am not passing judgement like some others who repsonded to me, but would like to hear some ideas on why women choose to shave.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 12:29 PM

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1144 here, again...

as a follow up, i do what makes me comfortable, now. the remarks people may share with me regarding any hair that they might notice and mention say more about those people than about me. i would not comment on someone else's personal hygiene unless asked-and even then would watch my words; these are intimate questions / answers.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 12:50 PM

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To the poster who doesn't shave, I'm sorry that the 11:49am poster was either rude or ignorant. I don't think most people think along the same lines as her.

I shave my legs because it makes me feel sexy - I love the feeling of fabric against my smooth legs, and my fiance loves what my smooth legs feel like against him. I also think that it looks nicer, and more feminine. These are all opinions, though, and everyone is welcome to their own.

I have known women who do not shave. They've (typically) been mostly the crunchy, outdoorsy types, but again, that's just a generalization. I think it makes just as much of a statement (maybe more, in our society) to not shave as it does to shave, but that doesn't mean that it's wrong to not shave. There are no hygiene reasons - just look at guys! They're hairy in more places than us women, and when they take care to shower, use deodorant, etc., they do not smell bad.

Unfortunately, in our culture, choosing to not shave will probably lead you to receive some rudeness from some people (like 10:49am, for example). I'm not saying that it's right - obviously it's not - but, that's another reason that some people shave. They don't want to give people another reason to be unkind. Whether it's right or wrong to do something just because of others' opinions is an entirely other topic, but, we all know that it happens.

Another woman I know who does not shave, and never has - my grandma! And she's nearly hairless, that lucky woman!!

Monday, August 28, 2006, 1:22 PM

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to 11:44

i don't shave either. you are not alone!

Monday, August 28, 2006, 2:03 PM

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To the 11:44 and 2:03 Posters

How does your boyfriend/husband feel about you not shaving your legs?

Monday, August 28, 2006, 2:11 PM

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honestly, he was surprised at first, now he's used to it. he likes it better than being scratched by stubble anyway.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 2:14 PM

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1144 here. it does not affect my personality and that's why my boyfriend likes my company. it would be like not wanting to date me because i have freckles or a mole or a birthmark...i would not want to date a person who cared enough about shaved legs not to date me because of them...

Monday, August 28, 2006, 2:33 PM

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to 11:44

yes, I understand that -- but men are visual and visually stimulated -- that is just a fact. Maybe he is into it -- there are some fettishes where men prefer that the woman in their life does not shave.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 2:38 PM

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honestly, i don't think he has a "fetish" about it...would you say that your significant other has a fetish for shaved legs? or mascara? i think some people just focus their attention in other directions besides appearance. i definitely do not live according to some stereotypical notion that others perpetrate that i need to shave my legs or have big, plump red lips, or highlighted hair in order to attract a man. i am who i am and have faith that someone else will appreciate that-hair and all.

fet?ish /'f?t??, 'fit??/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fet-ish, fee-tish] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun 1. an object regarded with awe as being the embodiment or habitation of a potent spirit or as having magical potency.
2. any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of high grades.
3. Psychology. any object or nongenital part of the body that causes a habitual erotic response or fixation.


Monday, August 28, 2006, 2:49 PM

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Of course I am not saying that your significant other is with you because of what you look like, not at all. I'm just saying that men are visually stimulated and women should try to look their sexiest and most attractive for their man. I know it is not possible to look incredible every day....but just trying to look good for him, so he is always physically aroused by you. And yes, I know it is not ALL about looks -- but physical attraction and physical beauty is definitely important - men ARE visual creatures.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 3:51 PM

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no, I wouldn't say my significant other has a fetish for mascara or shaved legs -- but I think he is very attracted to the total package -- meaning when I put myself together and look HOT for him :) Again, it's not all about looks.....but I think men like having a woman on their arm that they can be proud of for both physical beauty and inner beauty, intelligence, personality.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 3:53 PM

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i am happy to read that looks are taken into consideration, not the most important feature! i've gotta say that when i dress up, i just don't think that hair on legs is ugly or even relevant, though. it's just not something that fazes me to even think about anymore, really. i definitely do not feel that it would make me look any better to my type of guy (and i've been right about that so far!) it takes all kinds, i guess!

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:01 PM

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My sister is gorgeous. She normally shaves. But living in cold and snowy areas in the winter, she chooses not to for most of the winter because, honestly, it's a hassle. She once mentioned when I asked what her boyfriend thought about it, that he had decided that he kinda liked it. Which was a good thing because she was not about to change for him. Stubble sucks. But smoothly shaved legs and long hair beyond the stubble are just fine.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:03 PM

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my boyfriend would never date a girl that didn't shave

he told me that he once broke up with a girl because she never shaved her legs - true story! he just thought it was disgusting. I guess everyone IS different. I don't think that makes him a bad person - everyone has their preferences.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:05 PM

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physical attraction is over-rated...

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:05 PM

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i don't think it really matters whether she start now or in a year or so. i knew plenty of girls growing up that didn't shave up till high school even (that may be pushing it though). Whenever you think you and she can handle it, try it. This could also be a good chance to have a talk with her about her body and taking care of herself.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:12 PM

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to the 4:05 poster

How many men believe physical attraction is over-rated? Men are visual beings. Just ask them....

Men: Please answer the question -- would you prefer your woman to shave or not?

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:15 PM

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I started shaving when I was 12 years old and in the seventh grade. It was embarrassing (and probably is for her too as she has dark hair) to have all that hair on my legs, especially for gym class and wearing skirts and shorts... just no fun. Besides which, with all the safe ways she can do this, it shouldn't be too bad. If you're really worried about her cutting herself, I recommend her using Veet or nair. gets rid of the problem and you don't have to worry about your daughter with a razor! Good luck.

Monday, August 28, 2006, 4:21 PM

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I think it depends on the child but this is little. Don't sweat the small stuff1

Tuesday, August 29, 2006, 10:44 PM

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My daughter is 11 and going into middle school, she just started shaving her legs 2 weeks ago. I let her because it's hard to fit in and something as silly as shaving can make a differnce with the other girls. Plus it makes her feel more mature and we sat on the edge of the tub and did it together. I say sit down and do it together anything can be a bonding experience.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 11:32 AM

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i loved reading everything here, but i'm happy to see that the conversation went back to the OP's original question. it's interesting to read viewpoints of what men think of women who do or don't shave their legs, but this 11 year old's mother probably doesn't want to think about what men think of her girl's legs. at that age, it's what the other girls think so that they accept her. give her a few more years, and then it's what the boys think who date her. and even then, i doubt she'd tell her parents that boys touch her legs, with or without hair on them.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006, 12:49 PM

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I wasn't allowed to shave til about grade 7, make-up, grade 9?!? I hated it, the boys, NOT the girls made fun of me, I have fair skin and reddish/brownish hair, but it was bushy, I was finally allowed to shave and I found freckles on my legs that I didn't know I had because of all the hair!!
I say let her shave/wax, whatever.

I'd worry more about the body piercings and tattoos!

Thursday, August 31, 2006, 12:51 PM

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If girls wait longer to shave their legs will it reduce the amount of hair on the legs when they get older?

Monday, February 12, 2007, 9:16 AM

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Absolutely! My mom wouldn't and I got teased by other girls. I have 2 girls now, and in 3 yrs, I'll have an 11 yo. I intend to let her if she wants to.

Monday, February 12, 2007, 10:05 AM

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those that even think of not "letting" your daughter shaves if she wants, sounds like some bizarre control issue. Getting teased by other girls at school can be devestating and having control over whether that happens teaches life long skills, and shows her that she has the power and control to change situations. Let her be the judge of her and how to live her life.

Monday, February 12, 2007, 10:13 AM

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To the 9:16am poster from today, who resurrected this post: no. Holding off longer to begin shaving will not reduce the amount of hair on the legs when they get older. The only way to potentially reduce the amount of hair (and even this is not definite) is to wax it repeatedly; eventually, it may grow in thinner.

The reason that legs appear hairier if they've been shaved and then allowed to grow, rather than never shaved in the first place, is because the hairs have been cut, leaving a blunt end that is wider than the natural end that was shaved off. So the hair appears thicker. In reality, it is not thicker. There are not more hairs that grow. Shaving is all superficial, and only changes the surface of the hair; it does nothing to the roots.

Monday, February 12, 2007, 10:45 AM

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I know this is a little late but....

I know it was posted during the summer but, poster: monday august 28th @3:51 seems a bit insane. If I tried my hardest to look "good for my man" everyday, I would go nuts. If he's not attracted to me because I have some hair on my legs or under my arms or on my bikini line then I don't want him around. It's crazy to think that someone should "look" a certain way for anyone but themselves. I shave everynight and not because I give a shit about how it looks or seems to look for anyone else. I think you might have a complex on your hands sis.

Monday, February 12, 2007, 7:41 PM

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I am a guy but I dont see what the big deal is. If her legs are hairy then why not shave them? If you had an 11 year old son with a full beard would you expect that he wouldnt shave? ;-)

Monday, February 12, 2007, 8:49 PM

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My daughter just turned 11 and has had hairy legs for years & years. But, her hair is very blonde, so you have to really LOOK to see it. She hasn't asked about shaving her legs, yet.

However, the poor thing developed dark armpit hair before she was 10, and has been shaving them weekly or so ever since.

For myself, I don't remember exactly when I started shaving, but really wish I hadn't. My leg hair was fine & light like hers. It grew back thicker & darker (no matter what the poster above says about it not actually doing that). I have very white legs, so the hair shows up really badly. However, I don't bother to shave at all during the winter (I'm single & have no time for dating, but if I DID have a date, I'd shave first) and shave about weekly in summer. It is SUCH a PITA to do, and it is so thick that I have scratchy stubble within 24 hours.

I also only shave from the knee down, and the bikini area. I never did shave my thighs, and they don't need it (still fine & thin there).


Monday, February 12, 2007, 9:19 PM

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rock on, 2/12, 741 poster!!! you really made my day!! i am the poster who does not shave and endured a lot of criticism, even insults, for sharing that information. i can not agree with you more, but i was tired of expressing myself to closed minds. thanks for your comments!!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 8:50 AM

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I'm 25 and my mom was the one who brought up shaving to me! I was 10 and I was very excited about it. I 've been shaving for the last 15 years.

I'm married, and recently asked my husband if he would mind if I didn't shave my legs in the winter, anymore. He told me I can do whatever I want, but he prefers them shaven. So I shave them. I tell him how I like his facial hair (and how I don't like it). He respects my opinion, so I respect his.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 9:06 AM

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Absolutely......and teach her all the tricks....and about that shin bone....ouch.

Monday, May 14, 2007, 1:20 AM

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In the US leg and armpit shaving among women is considered hygene. At 11 this girl is entering/in puberty. In middle school hygene is a big thing, and the girls are so petty that anything that could be seen as a lack of hygene will cause her social difficulties.

Best to teach her to shave/do make up properly/ dress in a way that is fashionable and mature without being suggestive. If the mother wants her to grow into a young woman that is confident, comfortable in her body and socially mature she needs to teach her daughter how to do that, not hold her in childhood for as long as possible. Becuase she'll learn these things somehow. Will it be from Mom, the girl that sits next to her in math class, or worst, MTV?

Monday, May 14, 2007, 11:23 AM

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shaving is a personal choice and should not be turned into some social compliance issue. being "accepted" only because one shaves her legs is petty and the idea should not be condoned. what if "all the other girls are wearing make-up" in 5th grade? would you allow your daughter to do so, just so she can follow the crowd and not become her own person with her own preferences? it sounds like many responders are not just about "letting" or "allowing" their daughters to shave, but that they are "making" them shave. if fitting in is the most important thing you teach your daughter, i think you've missed the mark.

Monday, May 14, 2007, 1:50 PM

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If "all the other girls are doing it," and you decide not to let your daughter, that isn't teaching her to "be her own person with her own preferences;" that is teaching her that you don't respect her own preferences and don't want her to be her own person. You want her to be "your person," and to go along with your preferences, not hers.

Wanting to fit in is not a bad thing, as long as it doesn't get to extremes (i.e. doing dangerous things just so you are like "everyone else;" not recognizing that the "everyone" doing dangerous things isn't really everyone.) Wanting to stand out is not a bad thing either. But it's an individual choice, and the individual has to live with the social consequences of either choice. It is unfair for a parent to make that decision for a child. Having open communications, and giving recommendations, is good. Forcing your child to endure taunting/teasing/etc. in middle school, where children are harsh, in order to teach a "lesson," is just cruel.

Monday, May 14, 2007, 1:56 PM

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by no means did i intend to relay the message that one should prevent one's daughter from shaving if she so chooses. i think it has been presented in this thread as a choice the mom is going to make. what i meant to express was that if your daughter chooses not to shave or to shave, it should be the choice of the daughter. if my daughter wanted to shave, i would inquire about why and discuss her reasons. that does not mean that she would not shave, it means that she would be able to understand why she was making whatever decision she was making. this ensures that it is her decision and not that of her friends or those who might bully her. i would not want her to blindly follow those she would like to be friends with.

Monday, May 14, 2007, 2:03 PM

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hayy...

i am 15 almost 16 and i am not alud to wear make-up or shave. My dad thinks i should be able to do this stuuf1 but my step mom said no! and i am not aloud to have long hair or long bangs.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 2:22 PM

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To the PP

Hey girl. I'm sorry you're not allowed to shave or wear make up, or have long hair or bangs. How long has your step mom been with you and your dad? Have you tried sitting down and having a talk with your step mom and your dad? Maybe think carefully about why you want to do these things, and tell your parental figures and listen to what they have to say back and come up with some thoughtful responses.

Putting myself in your shoes, I'd say something like the following:

"I'm almost 16 years old and the girls in my class have been shaving since they were 12. I'd like to go about my day without thinking about what everyone else is thinking about me, but peer pressure is still pretty crazy in high school. I don't want to necessarily want have or grow my hair out only for other people. It's not even that I want to fit in. I want to do it for myself so that I do not have to be constantly concerned with other people's thoughts, socially. Doing this - for myself - would allow me to live more so for myself and to concentrate on more important matters. Also, it's important to consider that I am growing up, and will be "grown up" eventually. Considering this, it is important for me to start using maybe minimal make up and shaving my legs maybe once a week, so that I am prepared to do these things when I am older."

I think that's what I'd say anyway.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010, 4:27 PM

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unnecessary, but not bad either.

I don't think anyone should or shouldn't shave - my mom didn't let me until I was 14 or so, but my hair was blonde and not very noticable. Only when I started swimming in a friend's lake and the dirt started sticking to my legs did I decide I'd ask about shaving. My mom has always had a little trouble with all the 'grown up' things we'd start to want to do - make up, shaving, etc. I think she was mostly concerned that we would be happy with who we are, and not trying to cover that up or change it. If your daughter is comfortable in her own skin, but still wants to, why not? I don't think 11 is too young if she's got an issue with it. Had I had dark hair, I would probably have pushed shaving around that age, too.

I don't like to shave and don't unless I'm going to be wearing shorts or if I do it for my hubby. He doesn't really notice or care as long as it's not prickly, and a few days after shaving the prickles are gone anyway. Once in a great while I'll do it for myself because smooth lotioned legs just feel really nice. :D

Thursday, February 25, 2010, 5:16 PM

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Good grief...Dear 15 year old not allowed to shave, etc,
You're stuck there for a couple more years, and then you will be off to a job or, hopefully, college. You are being controlled and sheltered as I was at your age. Please don't do as I did and go entirely wild when you do find your freedom! Sounds like your step mom has some issues of her own that are not at all related to you. It took me a long time to realize that about my dad, but it explains so very much of my life before graduating from high school. It seems like an eternity to graduation, but it will be here before you know it, and you will be able to go and be you. Make it a great you!


Friday, February 26, 2010, 9:47 AM

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shaving

I agree that many men are aroused by liking what they see, but you are assuming that when men see unshaven legs, they are turned off. Not all men are turned off by unshaven legs or even unshaven underarms. My husband likes it when I haven't shaved for a while. Why do you assume that men are turned off by a woman who doesn't shave?

Also you assume that all men like women who dress up, put on make up, etc. My husband doesn't. He would rather I spend that time with him instead of primping. It's not that I never dress up; sometimes I like to, and sometimes he likes me to, but it's not a preference of his that I spend a lot of time primping.

I wonder why you are so sure that all men want a woman who spends a lot of time primping.

Friday, February 26, 2010, 10:54 AM

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11 year old shaving

I started shaving when I was 12. I asked my mom if I could because I was dressing up for a school dance and wearing pantyhose, and I didn't like the way my legs looked under the hose (the hair on my legs flattened down by the hose.) She said fine and showed me how. I wasn't allowed to wear make up, though, until I was 14.

As a parent I listen to what my daughter wants, share with her what I think, and then I decide, based on what I think is best and partly influenced by what she wants. I decided long ago to pick my battles. There are some issues that aren't important enough to battle over. For me, one is clothes. My daughter doesn't like to wear clothes that match. I don't like it but it's not a hill to die on. My only rule for clothes is appropriate for the season and covers the belly button.

Friday, February 26, 2010, 11:02 AM

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i would let her decide. dont tell her that they are hairy. but i would let her.

Saturday, February 27, 2010, 12:32 PM

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