CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories

Lounge
Community 


boyfriend advice

I've been losing weight but my boyfriend says he likes me with the extra pounds. I'm starting to think that maybe it's because he doesn't want me to look good for other guys. Advice? Maybe it's legitimate. Since this is anonymous, I wanted to ask.

Tue. Sep 5, 7:05pm

Add comment  
He may be telling the unadulterated truth, but may have other reasons that even he might not be willing to examine too closely beyond "I love her just the way she is, why does she have to go change things?"

One thought is that he might be self-concious about his own weight and physical health and is secretly worried that if you thin down and tone up you'll feel you 'deserve' a boyfriend who is in better shape too and shares your taste for healthier food and exercise. Without knowing more about him that's sheer conjecture, but I know that's a hurdle my sister had to overcome with her husband. That pretty much ties in to what you're thinking, but from a slightly different perspective.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 7:42 PM

Add comment
You don't say what your weight is, but remember: it's easy to want to go overboard with weight loss if you are trying to look like a heroin-chic model. Your boyfriend may be telling you that you look perfect because you DO look perfect!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 7:54 PM

Add comment
If losing the weight makes you happy, your boyfriend should be supportive. I agree with the last poster - don't go overboard - but if you're within healthy limits, I say do what you want. I hope you wouldn't LOSE the weight just because your boyfriend wanted you to. For the same reason, you shouldn't KEEP the weight because he wants you to.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 8:48 PM

Add comment
Well first I have some questions. How much weight have you lost? How much more do you want to lose. Most men I know prefer a woman with a little meat on them. I would say most men wouldn't be bothered at all if a woman had and extra 10 pounds on them. Maybe your bf likes heavy women, have you ever asked him? Maybe he's one of those fat admires?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 9:33 PM

Add comment
MY BF was the same

I don't know wher you started or how much you've lost, but bear in mind two things:
1. My BF was the same way, but once he started noticing my increased confidence (in and out of the bedroom) and how much better my clothes fit, he changed his mind. Now he tells me he likes me just as I am NOW, and I shouldn't lose much more. I know he'll change his mind again- because I'll be fitter and happier, and his love for me will recognize that.
2. Ultimately, whether he prefers you one way or another, YOU have to be happy with you to make any relationship work. Maybe he prefers bigger women. But if you don't want to be a bigger woman, maybe you're not what each other needs.
Make sure to proceed healthfully, and try to make him understand why you're doing what you're doing. Also, try to strength train if you don't already, to stay firm.
Congratulations, and BECOME THE YOU YOU DREAM OF BEING.
xoxo

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 9:41 PM

Add comment
Communicate

From a guys point of view. Some of the previous points are valid. You should talk with him and ask him seriously why he likes the old you, he may not know the reason. It could be the familiarity and the good old times. you have to find out though or you won't know how he feels really deep inside. Then when you get to the bottom of this, you should reassure him that your not going to leave him, you feel good about yourself, you are healthier, and if he wants to do something about his health you can help him because you went through the same thing. Communication is the key. Don't dance around about it. Good luck

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 10:59 PM

Add comment
thanx. the 2nd comment rings true - he's kind of insecure about his own belly, and could stand to lose a few pounds. I wonder if this is the deal. thanx for all the feedback, i'm going to fish around tonight to see what it might be -

Wednesday, September 06, 2006, 11:26 AM

Add comment








Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight

 

How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources

Fitness

Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner

 

Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
 

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
 

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge