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boyfriend advice

I've been losing weight but my boyfriend says he likes me with the extra pounds. I'm starting to think that maybe it's because he doesn't want me to look good for other guys. Advice? Maybe it's legitimate. Since this is anonymous, I wanted to ask.

Tue. Sep 5, 7:05pm

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He may be telling the unadulterated truth, but may have other reasons that even he might not be willing to examine too closely beyond "I love her just the way she is, why does she have to go change things?"

One thought is that he might be self-concious about his own weight and physical health and is secretly worried that if you thin down and tone up you'll feel you 'deserve' a boyfriend who is in better shape too and shares your taste for healthier food and exercise. Without knowing more about him that's sheer conjecture, but I know that's a hurdle my sister had to overcome with her husband. That pretty much ties in to what you're thinking, but from a slightly different perspective.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 7:42 PM

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You don't say what your weight is, but remember: it's easy to want to go overboard with weight loss if you are trying to look like a heroin-chic model. Your boyfriend may be telling you that you look perfect because you DO look perfect!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 7:54 PM

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If losing the weight makes you happy, your boyfriend should be supportive. I agree with the last poster - don't go overboard - but if you're within healthy limits, I say do what you want. I hope you wouldn't LOSE the weight just because your boyfriend wanted you to. For the same reason, you shouldn't KEEP the weight because he wants you to.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 8:48 PM

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Well first I have some questions. How much weight have you lost? How much more do you want to lose. Most men I know prefer a woman with a little meat on them. I would say most men wouldn't be bothered at all if a woman had and extra 10 pounds on them. Maybe your bf likes heavy women, have you ever asked him? Maybe he's one of those fat admires?

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 9:33 PM

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MY BF was the same

I don't know wher you started or how much you've lost, but bear in mind two things:
1. My BF was the same way, but once he started noticing my increased confidence (in and out of the bedroom) and how much better my clothes fit, he changed his mind. Now he tells me he likes me just as I am NOW, and I shouldn't lose much more. I know he'll change his mind again- because I'll be fitter and happier, and his love for me will recognize that.
2. Ultimately, whether he prefers you one way or another, YOU have to be happy with you to make any relationship work. Maybe he prefers bigger women. But if you don't want to be a bigger woman, maybe you're not what each other needs.
Make sure to proceed healthfully, and try to make him understand why you're doing what you're doing. Also, try to strength train if you don't already, to stay firm.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 9:41 PM

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From a guys point of view. Some of the previous points are valid. You should talk with him and ask him seriously why he likes the old you, he may not know the reason. It could be the familiarity and the good old times. you have to find out though or you won't know how he feels really deep inside. Then when you get to the bottom of this, you should reassure him that your not going to leave him, you feel good about yourself, you are healthier, and if he wants to do something about his health you can help him because you went through the same thing. Communication is the key. Don't dance around about it. Good luck

Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 10:59 PM

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thanx. the 2nd comment rings true - he's kind of insecure about his own belly, and could stand to lose a few pounds. I wonder if this is the deal. thanx for all the feedback, i'm going to fish around tonight to see what it might be -

Wednesday, September 06, 2006, 11:26 AM

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