Take a tour
invite your friends
- Select Menu -
Invite your friends
I need help & advice.
This is not diet related, but I could really use some advice. I got engaged in March of this year and we are trying to set a date. We agreed on a month for 2007 and I finally decided on a specific date. However, my fiancee does want to get married on that day because it is his ex girlfriend's birthday. He said I that it is like a slap in her face. What do you think? Please, give me your honest opinions and advice. Thank you.
Sun. Sep 17, 10:29pm
does that mean he still has feeling for her? Or am I just being paranoid?
Sunday, September 17, 2006, 10:52 PM
I would see it as an association thing. He doesn't want to associate your anniversary with her birthday, just like all the people that didn't want to get married on 9/1, or didn't want to have a baby born on 6/6/06. It might be a little silly, but why not pick another day that he's totally clear on? I wouldn't take it personally, or as a divided loyalty thing.
Sunday, September 17, 2006, 10:56 PM
I think he is being honest, and you should pick a different date. But I would sit down and have a long conversation about his ex, and go from there.
Sunday, September 17, 2006, 10:57 PM
In my opinion, I wouldn't want to get married on her birthday. Anything that could take his attention and focus off your special day, isn't good. With that said, are they still friends? Maybe he doens't have feelings for her, but she does for him, and he doesn't want to push his happiness with you in her face. I can't say that I wouldn't feel upset as you do. I would just talk to him about it, tell him how what he said, hurt you. Men are stupid......(coming from a married woman here) they don't always get that we as women listen to & analyze everything they say. Talk to him about it, before you let it drive you crazy and it blows up.
Sunday, September 17, 2006, 10:57 PM
I think it's a good sign that he was able to be open with his concerns. I agree with the poster above who said that you don't want anything distracting from your big day. His request for another day is understandable.
Sunday, September 17, 2006, 11:28 PM
I need help & advice
In relationships I think you need to pick & choose your fights. The same as you do with your kids! And if either one of you feels very strongly about something, unless it is against your consience, the other is better to go along. Give and take is part of a relationship. In this case, go along with him and choose another date. You don't need to start the marriage with a fight about something like this. You want to look back on the wedding date with all positive items, not something negative. To him this specific date is negative in that it reminds him of an ex girlfriend.
Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:02 AM
I think he sounds like a kind considerate person and she still has feelings for him.
Monday, September 18, 2006, 12:17 AM
I wouldn't want to get married on his ex's bday
Monday, September 18, 2006, 1:01 AM
I know it must be disappointing that you had already picked out and set this date. I would be upset too. However, especially if she will be at the wedding, I wouldn't want any of the day to be about her. It may be selfish but this is YOUR day. Is there another day of that month that will work?
Monday, September 18, 2006, 9:17 AM
i think his honesty is refreshing. i, too, would not want to get married on a day that, even in the slightest way possible, reminded me of my ex. or any other friend, for that matter. for example, i would not want to get married on my best friend's b-day, either.
Monday, September 18, 2006, 9:27 AM
Having care and concern for his ex (ie respecting the relationship) is a good thing. Should he hate her and wish he ill? No. It sounds more that he's just a mature and caring guy and you should take that as a good thing.
He's engaged to YOU now, he loves you. But that doesn't take away the fact that he has a past. That needs to be respected as well.
I wouldn't want to get married on his ex's birthday either.
Monday, September 18, 2006, 11:22 AM
I am the OP
Thanks to all that posted here. Thanks for pointing out the obvious when I don't see it myself. I was a little upset at him yesterday.....but I have apologized and told him he is right.
Monday, September 18, 2006, 11:28 AM
How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight
How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer
How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources
Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner
How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition
New Diet and Fitness Articles:
Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:
Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule
Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions
Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
Everyday Weight Loss Tips
How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge
Introducing The PEERtrainer Cheat System
How To Speed Up Weight Loss
How To Get Motivation To Lose Weight
Weight Watchers: The New Science!
3 Myths About Weight Loss With JJ Virgin
Related Article :
New PEERtrainer Articles :
Why Green Tea Helps You Lose Weight
How To Lose A Lot Of Weight, Fast
5 Things You Must Know Before Doing A Cleanse
New: How To Build Muscle
What Is The Best Kind Of Protein Powder?
The Master Cleanse
Will Removing Gluten From Your Diet Help You Lose Weight?
How To Obliterate Your Limitations
How To Get The Motivation To Exercise
How To Stop Feeling Tired
Dr. Joel Fuhrman's Super Immunity Diet
The PEERtrainer Diet
Is Portion Control Keeping You Fat?
The Ultimate Guide To Dietary Fiber
P90X? Do Burst Training Instead
Weight Watchers Points Changes For 2012
Can Diet Soda Cause You To GAIN Weight?