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not accepting lack of control.

I'm afraid that I'm too quick to doubt my own strength. My weight loss efforts are being sabotaged because every time I make a mistake and binge or even just take a bite of something I'm trying to avoid...I feel instantly out of control and instead of believing that I can get it back, I see myself gaining steadily and imagine all my efforts lost in a years time. THIS IS SO NEGATIVE! but I cant get it out of my head:( how can i learn to believe in myself?(if only there was a simple answer)

Mon. Sep 18, 10:21pm

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Yes YOU can!

There is a simple answer! It's time you took responsibility for your actions! You LET yourself get out of control because you NEVER were in control in the first place. Really think about what it is you are trying to acheive. BE REALISTIC! BE POSITVE! If you find that your thoughts are turning negative, to the "If only I had stuck to it then...wipe them out! There is no sense in dwelling. This is today, now, and NOW I AM in control. You can do it..just believe that you can and you will. Good Luck!

Monday, September 18, 2006, 11:56 PM

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You also will never be able to "control" your body's desire for food - it's your energy and how you survive! if you deny yourself for too long, your body and mind will take over and tell you to "EAT!" Maybe allow yourself some of your "trying to avoid" foods and control your portions and you won't end up binge eating.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006, 8:57 AM

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It doesn't sound like doubt it sounds to me like your too hard on yourself.
It sounds to me like possibly you've dieted and failed in the past and your are very scared to have that happen again so instead of just accepting that you will take a few bites of forbidden foods, forget to workout one night, overeat one day, and still be good in the long run as soon as you catch yourself doing something bad you beat yourself up over it to keep from losing control.

It's not necessarily a bad thing because you do need to recognize bad habits and change them, but you also don't want to be so hard on yourself and you don't want to bring yourself down. My advice:
1) Plan some cheats... if your going to a wedding or a birthday party plan that you may eat a piece of cake or something else forbidden but limit yourself and keep it in moderation.
2) When you mess up from your plan and find yourself being negative think, okay this is good I've recognized my bad habit so I'm still on the right path and now I just need to change things around. Good for me that I can get myself back on track even when I have setbacks.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006, 9:18 AM

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print out your opening post and pin it up all around your living space and work space. read it over and over, day after day. eventually you will develop the belief that you are trying and all effort is more productive than no effort. best wishes!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006, 9:51 AM

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There is no try. there is only do or do not.



Tuesday, September 19, 2006, 2:11 PM

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i have to disagree. there is try and there is try again, and try again.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006, 2:18 PM

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Exactly. There has to try try and try till you succeed.. and succeed we all will!


Thursday, September 21, 2006, 12:09 AM

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Or try something different and see if that works. There is no failure, only feedback.

Thursday, September 21, 2006, 1:37 AM

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Yes Yoda, do or do not, there is no try. It's true, you either make the choice to do something that will bring you closer to your goals, or you choose to do something that won't. There isn't a try, there's an action involved. The 'try' is like "I'm going to start a diet...Monday." rather than dig in and do something different, something better, at your next opportunity.

Thursday, September 21, 2006, 10:14 AM

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Think of the eating part of you as your inner child (which it basically is in all of us, appetite being largely beyond our conscious control). If you have an unruly 3-year old, which works better, "controlling" her or cajoling her? The successful parents I know have strategies of planning for tantrums, avoiding the situations that lead to tantrums, and distracting the kid (not yelling) to break out of the tantrum. Same thing works for your hungry inner child -- plan emergency responses (eg, healthy but yummy snacks as treats), staying well-fed with frequent healthy snacks, and finding something fun besides food when the willpower is breaking down. Also making things a habit -- we brush our teeth everyday, Little Me, and we exercise every day too! (I SAID, we exercise every day. Come on, it'll be FUN!!!)

Thursday, September 21, 2006, 10:37 AM

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in my opinion, you cannot accomplish something without trying. doing in the sense described here is the same as trying-if you set out to walk 5 miles, the moment you take your first step, you are doing what you set out to do in the same way that you are trying to accomplish that goal.

Thursday, September 21, 2006, 12:08 PM

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i agree with the above.

Saturday, September 23, 2006, 11:34 AM

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Forgive yourself. When you make a mistake and lose control. Oh Well! Next time will be better. Most of us don't have control all the time. Personally, I cant stand control freaks. They are no fun. Relax and just breathe!

Saturday, September 23, 2006, 10:15 PM

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remember that it is not the destination but the journey that builds character and helps one to grow.

Monday, September 25, 2006, 11:37 AM

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to the op

well, it has been a week since you started this thread. how have you been treating yourself? hope you are doing well!

Monday, September 25, 2006, 3:21 PM

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