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to the women- how many have actually cheated

how many women have actually cheated on their husbands and or boyfriends>

Fri. Sep 22, 9:46am

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NEVER!

Friday, September 22, 2006, 10:00 AM

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why do you stress the word "actually"? i think emotionally cheating on someone is actually cheating as much as physically cheating, personally. i used to emotionally cheat on a boyfriend i had-until i realized what was happening and broke up with him. other than that time, i have not cheated on anyone i was dating. it makes no sense to do so...

Friday, September 22, 2006, 10:17 AM

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I once made out with another guy while I was dating my first boyfriend. I broke up with him a few weeks later. I was 16.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 10:20 AM

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Rising hand.

Cheated on fiance.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 10:38 AM

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to 10:17 Emotionally cheated versus phsyically cheated can you define?

Do you mean like online chat, friendship, or just thinking and fantasizing about another guy?

You know that song Lips of an Angel.. I like the song but ever time I get irritated when he says 'you make it hard to be faithful' because when you listen to the words he is NOT being faithful.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 10:51 AM

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by emotionally cheating, i mean that i would talk about my unhappiness with my relationship with another guy. i valued his opinion and would call him at any hour if i needed someone to lean on or just listen to me. i started to think that my boyfriend at the time was not as smart as i wanted him to be and disregarded a lot of what he said because i did not think his opinions mattered. but he did not know any of this. i was definitely aware that i was no longer into the relationship, but was reluctant to end it because i was comfortable with him physically. i finally ended it because i knew that at one time i valued this (now) ex-boyfriend. at one point i equated my actions to a sort of emotional rape.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 11:07 AM

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I have cheated on every boyfriend I have ever had... UNTIL now, I have been with my fiance for over 3 years and have not even been close to cheating (emotionally or physically). For me it just took finding the right man!

Friday, September 22, 2006, 11:49 AM

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to the 11:49 poster

I don't think it has anything to do with "the right man" ------ It's all about your character.

I have never cheated. If you are looking for someone / something else......... have enough common courtesy to tell your current partner first.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 11:54 AM

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well admittedly I have cheated thru exchange of emails and chatting. craigslist is free and alluring and to some just the thought of something a lil different brings excitement.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:05 PM

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Never!

However... I have willfully been the other woman.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:06 PM

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I can also claim "Never, but I've been the other woman" as well.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:14 PM

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I've cheated a couple of times, but only once the relationship was over anyway, though maybe not officially over. I've certainly never cheated on my husband, at any point in our relationship. I've also been the "other woman" a couple of times though.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:27 PM

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11:49 to 11:54

Actually for me it IS about the right man. He makes me feel different than anyone I have ever been with and the thought has never crossed my mind. Call it character or whatever you want but he is "the one" and the others weren't.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:30 PM

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I've never cheated nor have I ever been the other woman, but I've also rarely been exclusive and was completely up front about that otherwise it would have been easy to misconstrue my behavior (although from the reactions of some guys you'd think it was cheating). When I was dating I was generally dating multiple people, and the few exclusive relationships I was in were short-lived. I could never imagine settling down with just one person, but 7 years ago I met my husband and it's been effortless.



Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:40 PM

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Never cheated, not the other woman... My mom was cheated on and I could never bring myself to cheat, I couldn't hurt someone that way. And I could never be the other woman because I've seen what it's like to be the one to get cheated on.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 12:50 PM

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fantisized about other guys, yes. cheated emotionally or physically, no. been the other woman, yes.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 1:09 PM

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Not cheated on, however, my husband and I have an open relationship, so we are free to date others, with spousal approval.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 1:48 PM

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1:48 poster-
I have a friend in a relationship like yours and was propositioned to become a partner to one of them. I asked my then fiencee what he thought and he asked me if i could really "share" anyone. I said no. I am married to my then fiancee with out any regrets !


Friday, September 22, 2006, 3:54 PM

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Ive cheated, and it made me realize I would never last with the guy I was dating. With my current boyfriend of three years, never have and never would. Hes the one, thats the difference.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 4:47 PM

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never cheated , but hubby and i have been together 17 yrs ( high school sweethearts) he is the only person i have ever been with. i do fantasize what it would be like with someone else but the fear and thought of guit keep me in check. i do like to flirt w/ men. i see nothing wrong with a little eye candy


Friday, September 22, 2006, 5:56 PM

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I Never

Friday, September 22, 2006, 6:51 PM

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I have thought about being with other men. I have kissed a man at the beginning of the relationship (we weren't really dating at that point, just going on dates every once in a while.) No besides that.

Friday, September 22, 2006, 7:52 PM

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Cheated (in some form or another-not usually sex) on nearly every boyfriend. Been the other woman once, but I had a boyfriend while he had a girlfriend.

Would never cheat again. Once you gain a little maturity and gain the ability to support yourself you never have to cheat.

In college and early-career, sometimes finances dictate how long you have to live with someone until you can leave (leases, needing a new roomate etc).

Once you are 100% self sufficient there isn't much of a reason to cheat.

Saturday, September 23, 2006, 2:36 PM

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no, but if I found this, it would be more likely!

Link

Saturday, September 23, 2006, 2:39 PM

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to the op

are you garnering others' experiences in preparation for a tryst? why the interest?

Saturday, September 23, 2006, 4:53 PM

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Sadly enough I have cheated on every boyfriend I ever had, and there were a lot. I know its horrible but what can I say. I haven't cheated on my 2nd husband and wouldn't even think about it. He perfect in every way for me. But honestly I think emotionally cheating is just as worse as physically cheating. Sex can always just be sex but emotional intimacy can be a lot stronger.

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 2:28 AM

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Never cheated. Never going to. Would hurt the other person way too much, and if I don't mind hurting them that much, I shouldn't be with them in the first place.

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 8:23 PM

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I have cheated, been cheated on, been the other woman, been with current bf for 1 1/2 years, not been cheated on, not cheated on him, he just asked me to marry him last Sunday and gave my the ring by surprise this Sunday! Yeah I am happy and couldn't imagine anyone other then him to be spending the rest of my life with!

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 9:00 PM

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Been cheated on. Would never do it.

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 9:44 PM

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Started to cheat but pulled back before the point of no return. I saw it for what it was - a symptom of a larger problem (frustration that I'd never have the life I wanted if I stayed with him). A few months later, he 'fessed up to making out with another woman, and I felt relieved that I wasn't the only unhappy one in the marriage. A year later we separated and got divorced. Neither one of us was the cheating kind.

Sunday, September 24, 2006, 11:27 PM

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i've never cheated, don't plan on ever cheating and have never been cheated on . . but i did make out w/ a married man once when i was really drunk.

no excuse really-i knew he was married and just went along with it. i felt like a big loser afterwards-and i now know his wife as well (didn't at the time) and i feel like crap everytime i see/talk to her in social settings! ug! that is enough bad feeling to know i'll never get involved in a situation like that again!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006, 12:02 AM

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have cheated on my husband. been in a long-term, long distance relationship for over 4 years. has taken a significant toll on our marriage. i will never do it again because it was such an empty experience. i was also honest with my husband and we're starting over again. would be nice however if we actually lived in the same home long term.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 12:33 PM

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I have never cheated. I have no interest.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 1:07 PM

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i think when you cheat on someone, you are actually cheating yourself.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 1:29 PM

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Cheating - NOT

Cheating is cheating, whether physical or mental. Sex is never just sex.

If a person says they only thought about it or that 'it was just sex.' Then they are just lying to themselves to justify their actions.

There is nothing with more clarity than a relationship based on commitment. I can personally say, that there is nothing more joyous or satisfying, either.

Love is not just an emotion. It is an action involving patience, kindness, gentleness, forgivness, selflessness, humility, and so on. Above all, love is a choice. Choosing to be faithful, kind, gentle, and so on.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 2:56 PM

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to me, it's like something i heard someone say once. "you don't go to the barber unless you want a haircut." i would not get involved in a committed monogamous relationship and then cheat. i would either end the relationship or explain my feelings and try to move on.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 3:18 PM

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never never never

Monday, October 02, 2006, 4:11 PM

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Different paradigms: It's amazing how many people in this country are totally brainwashed into thinking you can only have one relationship of any substance at a time! Why should one end a wonderful relationship to have another that is also important to them, assuming all parties consent? For me, this is a lot like being gay: some people are set up to be monogamous, some are set up to be polyamorous (able to love more than one at a time), and most people are somewhere in the middle with where they sit on the scale. Is it cheating if there is no dishonesty or destruction involved?

Yes, I know, I'm going to get raked over the coals for this post. I'm female, married over ten years, had a significant boyfriend over five years. Everyone gets along just fine.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 6:12 PM

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NEVER I love him and respect myself and out marrige way to much I would leave him first.

Monday, October 02, 2006, 8:58 PM

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in response to 612 poster

i think the whole idea of cheating is that you lie about your activities to your significant other(s) about additional relationships you are involved in. if everyone is aware of each other and fine with it, i would not regard that as cheating. that said, i don't think it's just people in this country who strive to create a single, significant, lasting relationship with another person. and i don't believe that your situation is as unique as you may think. some people have very diverse needs and one person cannot always fulfill those needs, so others come into the relationship to help satisfy everyone. and personally, i don't think it's brainwashing, i think people freely choose to devote themselves to another through the family values they have been brought up with. if they grew up in a household with a strong marriage with only two people involved, that would probably appeal to them because they witnessed that it works. likewise, those brought up in polygamist unions also tend to strive for the same type of household they grew up in-if it worked for everyone. i say, as long as all participants are happy with the situation, rock on!!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 9:10 AM

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to 6:12-it's not cheating if your husband or boyfriend is accepting of you having other lovers. if you are not in a monogamous relationship, then cheating isn't an issue.

also, don't compare cheating and being gay or loving many people and being gay. being gay does not necessarily mean that you can't be monogamous.



Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 2:23 PM

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yeah, i must add that i do not understand the comparison drawn between being gay and choosing how many partners one is involved with. sounds like apples and oranges to me...

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 2:27 PM

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6:12 poster: To clear up the gay idea comparison- This is more a comment about how most people fall somewhere in the middle on their sexual orientation, from totally gay to totally straight and everywhere in between. I think that some people are totally monogamous to totally not and everywhere in between. There are about 10% of the populace that fall on the far ends of the spectrum and the rest of us are somewhere in the middle, both with sexual orientation and relationship orientation.

Not trying to say gay people are incapable of monogamy in any way!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 4:12 PM

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