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Rant- please read.

So I'm losing all motivation. I'm a college student, at a normal weight but wanting to be that skinny sority girl i see everywhere. I seem to be getting no where with my dieting seeing as I keep it up all week and loose some weight but as soon as I go home i want to be able to eat my mom's home cooked meals and go out to eat with my friends and enjoy myself. I gain all the weight back and have to start over again. It seems to me the only reason I want to be that tiny girl is to keep up with my athletic boyfriend. I know it's completely stupid because he loves me for who I am and even loved me when i was 30 pounds heavier. So to get to the point I keep asking myself why am I doing this? Why am I busting my ass exercising when i could be studying? Why am I so careful with what I put in my mouth when all I want is to be able to eat what everyone else is eating? Ahhh....I just don't understand it anymore. Any thoughts?

Tue. Sep 26, 8:56pm

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Ha ha ha (not laughing at you!) - when I was in college, I used to workout to AVOID studying! It was my way of procrastinating!

Stressing about this won't do any good. If you see that you're worrying too much about it, I say take a step back from yourself and tune everything down a notch. Don't stop exercising and eating right when you're at school and don't stop enjoying yourself when you're home, but maybe introduce a little moderation to both areas of your life.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006, 9:20 PM

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eating what you love in moderation? trying to accept yourself for who you are? I have these same problems, I wish I could take my own advice.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006, 9:21 PM

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I'm a college student also and I frequently find myself in the same boat as you. It's easier to eat right when there is a set routine to the day (like what we have during the week with classes and stuff). It's harder on the weekends when there is no structure and we're just going with the flow. I think I agree with the above posters--do your diet in moderation and enjoy your treats in moderation. Doing either to the extreme is never healthy. :)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006, 1:19 AM

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read Intuitive Eating by Tribole and Rosche...

Link

Wednesday, September 27, 2006, 7:58 AM

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I had a heck of a time trying not to gain any more weight in college let alone lose any! Kudos to you for losing 30 pounds! The crazy schedules, academic pressure, buffet-style dining, weekends at home, copious amounts of booze and lack of physical exercise are all powerful roadblocks in the attempt to lead a sane and healthy life. There's a reason so many people gain weight there. So you feel like you work and sacrifice only to stand still? That's actually quite an accomplishment! It's hard not to gain weight under those conditions - just as hard if not harder than losing it. You have to commit to a healthy lifestyle and that's pretty difficult when you're in such a loose environment and yet have many constraints on your ability to be healthy (lack of time and money, friends who want to go out at 2 am, etc). Personally I simply had to accept that others can get away with a lot more bad behavior food-wise than I could and although that's not 'fair' - that's the way it is and I could either let that make me miserable or accept it, but it's not easy accepting it when (seemingly) all the folks around you can get away with so much more.

Congratulations on your progress so far and consider making a list of all the healthy benefits you want to acheive and put it up on your mirror for when you lose sight of your motivation (and we all do from time to time). Here's a link to a thread where we had some discussion on this as a starter. Most of all don't give up! You've done great so far and you can do this!

Link

Wednesday, September 27, 2006, 12:09 PM

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Does your BF know your doing this just to keep up with him? Cuz if he doesn't he probably doens't care. So the question is why do you care? I personally think it would be healthier to change your attitude more than your wieght.

Obsessing over what I call "vanity pounds" (pounds that aren't really going to affect your health, you want to lose them simply for looks) is silly. I'm not saying go crazy and binge, but be more realistic, and make smarter choices as opposed to becoming OCD.

Ask yourself what is more important: vanity pounds, or good grades? time with the bf or time on the treadmill? Contentment, or self denial?

I'd bet that most would tell you you don't *need* to lose weight, but you think you need to be skinnier to be prettier. Not all guys like thin girls. Your bf obviously likes you. It may be rare, but it's perfectly OK to be a woman and not be trying to lose weight or get in shape. Just focus on living healthy and keeping balance, and everything else will work out. (And you might learn to love the 5 vanity pounds)

Wednesday, September 27, 2006, 11:59 PM

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may I make a suggestion?

Why not channel the energy into becoming more _athletic_, rather than just skinny? (those girls will get their hips too in a few years!) A big regret for me is that I never took advantage of the incredible resources available at my university -- a great gym, classes in every activity imaginable, club sports that I could have done just for fun, dancing -- hell, I could have learned to sail! Trust me, later in your life you will find it difficult to have the resources or the time to explore these things, but if you get into them now you will likely have them open to you later. (Try being a 40-year-old woman with kids and picking up a sport or a martial art for the first time just for fun -- yeah right!) Don't miss this golden opportunity -- and whatever you do, don't miss it because you are afraid of looking silly, that would be a tragedy. :)

Thursday, September 28, 2006, 1:19 AM

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Comment from a sorority girl

Hey, I was just in college not that long ago... and I understand the pressure that you feel when you look around and everyone else seems so tiny in comparison to you. However, I wasn't all that overweight, and I still felt like I was huge. I also noticed that when you are in college all you notice are the skinny girls... really take a look around and you'll notice that you are not the only one who is overweight. Also, a lot of those skinny sorority girls still have major self esteem issues even if they're not related to weight. Besides which, those same skinny sorority girls may be thin but they are not in shape and they're not healthy and being healthy is much more important then being thing. So perhaps you're focus should be on building up your self esteem and working on becoming more healthy... and I think at this point your focus should be on figuring out who you're losing this weight for... your boyfriend, everyone around you, or yourself... because if you're not doing it for yourself you won't be willing to do what it takes to keep it off... best of luck to you!

Thursday, September 28, 2006, 11:31 AM

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could you start a small group for some of the other girls in your dorm who may share your struggle? you could organize it so you all meet once or twice a week (maybe fridays to boost your morale for the weekend?) and discuss strategies for avoiding overeating / unhealthy eating choices, and swap phone numbers / emails for those times when you really need some encouragement, and even ways to learn how-not-to-beat-yourself-up-over-the-small-things...best wishes for you and your efforts!

Thursday, September 28, 2006, 11:49 AM

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there's also always the tried and true "drink more water". i recently graduatedfrom college and actually had gained a ton of weight during the end of senior year and the summer after, and one thing that really helped me was just increasing my water intake. its easier to eat in moderation when you're drinking a lot of water.

another interesting thing i read on someone else's blog was that when they go out to eat they immediately box half of whatever they order so they're not tempted to overeat and still got a great taste of the food. plus, then you ahve leftovers for another day!

good luck with all your endeavors. being in that position in college is a tough one, especially when you feel like you're the only one who has to watch what you eat while everyone else can eat whatever they want. just remember that while that may be true for some people, it's not true for most. and like someone else already mentioned, skinny does not neccessarily equal healthy. focus on fitness and loving yourself.

Thursday, September 28, 2006, 12:18 PM

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And remember some people are insanely skinny because they have taken extreme measures to get that way such as eating disorders! That is definitely not healthy or smart!

Friday, September 29, 2006, 12:12 PM

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Second the athleticism comments!

If portion is an issue, try something easy like WW points to raise your awareness, but STOP DIETING RIGHT NOW! That 'yo-yo' pattern you describe can signal your bod to lay on more fat, just the opposite of what you want.

Intuitive Eating, Zone - feed yourself good stuff, work out a bit more, and get enough sleep.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006, 10:51 AM

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