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overweight vs. being old

Yesterday I was doing some temp work in an office. My supervisor is super nice, young, and overweight...perhaps 100lbs. I was logging on PT when she came into my office and started working on some files. This required some bending down, kneeling, etc. When she was done and had to kind of pull herself up, she made a sort of groaning comment about how she is 'getting old,' implying that this was the reason it was hard for her to get up and down.

Now, it seems likely to me that the real reason she was having trouble was cause of the extra weight, not her age (really can't be more than 35).

I've lost over 25lbs during my time on PT and I've gotten bolder about sharing this w/people. But I don't know this woman well, and I certainly don't want to offend her. Should I just keep my mouth shut and if the time is right mention my weight loss and how I did it? Suggestions?

Fri. Sep 29, 9:12am

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the best person to tell people about PT in an office setting is the office manager or the HR manager. That avoids uncomfortable conversations like the one you are grappling with.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 9:18 AM

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i don't know, it seems to me that if you don't know her very well and she is your supervisor, that could be potentially dangerous. Especially if she is already in denial by calling herself old rather than overweight. I would wait until she brings it up and see if she is open to it.
by the way, great job on your weight loss, i can see why you are so excited to share! keep up the good work!

Friday, September 29, 2006, 9:54 AM

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i personally do not respond well to unsolicited advise about my personal life and habits. i would be offended if someone spoke to me about my weight especially. you can never be sure why someone has extra weight, so to bring it up may trigger a bad emotional or behaviorial response from them. you might do something like, when you are in her presence and you pick up something heavy, make a comment that before you started working out, that task would have been much harder.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 10:51 AM

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Yeah, what you are thinking of doing is potentially VERY offensive, if you don't know her very well. She might have already lost 50 pounds before you ever met her, for instance.

An example from my personal experience: I have adult acne. I spend a fair amount of money on prescriptions -- and the stuff that works best is not only expensive, but quite painful after application (Azelex). But I'm gritting my teeth and using it, and my skin looks a lot better! Yay me! Right? Well, it works well, but I still don't have perfect skin. So people I barely know say to me, "Why don't you do something about your skin? You would be so pretty if you weren't breaking out!"

Every time, it's an extreme effort to not drop the f-bomb in response.

Also, 35 is not THAT young -- I definitely had more knee injuries and less flexibility at 35 than at 25. I would totally believe that she is feeling her age as well as her weight.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 11:21 AM

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Hmmmm, (OP here) I don't think I'm gonna say anything. Thanks for your comments.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 11:53 AM

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keep your mouth shut! you will proably offend her. We all know it is her weight not her age1

Friday, September 29, 2006, 10:38 PM

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def keep your mouth shut. Never give that kind of personal advice unless it's solicited.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 11:01 PM

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I couldn't agree more. There is a lady that I work with who thought it would be a good idea to talk to each woman in the office that she thought was overweight, about joining weight watcher group with her. There were MANY offended people. Be careful what you say, even if it is in their best interest.

Friday, September 29, 2006, 11:40 PM

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