What do you do about being too sensitive !

I always care what people think! My husband is the oppiste. He tells me I have control of my thought process. Someone made a negitive comment to me so I just left the group. I asked if she was still a member. She wrote she couldn't take my negitive comments Honestly I did say anything negitive I was just hoping she was still a member. At this piont if I see her name I won't jion the group. There is no need for anyone to be nasty. Forgive me I am just letting off some steam. I needed to vent. I love peer trainer! I am not going to let my sensitivity to one persons nasty comment get to me! Please don't go attacking me now!

Tue. Oct 3, 3:02am

Just an idea...

When I was fairly new to peertrainer, I had a group member leave me a harsh comment. We talked about it, turns out she's motivated by harsh criticism & thought I would be too. No harm was meant. In the future, i'd recommend sticking around long enough to talk to her about it. Sometimes it's hard to judge the context of an email (or written post) I've written a few that I thought were funny, or motivating, only to re-read them a few hours later an think "oh, my gosh! I hope no one took this the wrong way!"

Try to give the benefit of the doubt. Of course if she is a total B-, don't dwell. She's out of your life, no use dwelling on negative influences.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 7:18 AM

you thought someone was negative and they thought you were negative? sounds like you guys just communicate differently - that's OK you don't have to be best friends with everyone... if you want to join a team that this person is on, why not whisper them and say you hope you can exsist in cyberland together peacefully? it's very hard not to be hyper sensitive - i'm that way, too. and when people point it out, i makes me even more sensitive!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 11:38 AM

i think this is a golden opportunity for you to reach out and try to, as the above poster suggested, co-exist with someone who doesn't think like you do. it's much easier to try to do this while in an online community than in real life, because you don't have to face the person. i'm not suggesting that you need to change, just that it's an opportunity to address a trait that might make you uncomfortable at times when communicating with strangers. welcome to our community!!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006, 11:55 AM

I think it would be a good idea to let the other person know. I myself am very sensitive, and take things too personally..
But I believe that words when spoken, take meaning depending upon the way they are said. But that kind of a communication lacks when you are talking in text. So instead of taking offence, its better to ask first. Sometimes when I write mails with something in mind, my friends respond in totally unexpected ways. They assume my 'tone' to be something, whereas I intended it to be something else! :)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 4:16 AM

Online it is very difficult to interpret things.
In real life, I find it helps to think about each person's "rules". I have friends with strong personalities in different directions, and person A regularly says things that person B would only say if she were ending the friendship -- but to person A it's just normal interaction. Sometimes the "unfiltered" people aren't worth dealing with, but it helps if you know they don't nec mean any harm :)
Also, frankly, when you are dealing with a total-honesty person, at least it gives you the freedom to be a bit rude back -- give it a try, it'll be good for you! Think of it as practice for different ways of interacting with people (often women have trouble in business, dealing with car mechanics, etc., because they don't know how to be blunt, firm, and rude when necessary!)

Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 10:19 AM

I make a consious choice not to be sensitive. It works most of the time. I also make a conscious choice to accept myself as I am and not beat myself up, while also choosing to work to improve. I have down days if I am very tired or hormonal.

I agree that with text it is much harder to interpret attitude.

Not long ago the people I work with were joking around about how fat people should avoid wearing white. Then one of them referred to me and said, "Uh oh, you should be offended at that." I simply stated "I know who I am and I know what my needs improvement and that it would take a much more important person in my personal life to say such a thing in order for me to even consider taking offense." I said it with a smile and meant every word matter-of-factly, with no malice toward them. Hey, I may not be in swimsuit condition, but that doesn't define who I am. Why pretend I am something I am not?

They did embarrass themselves, tho. Which does make it an amusing memory.

;-D

Wednesday, October 04, 2006, 1:37 PM

1:37 poster
Hey thanks for sharing the incident. Its quite amusing. I can use that too ;)

Thursday, October 05, 2006, 5:01 AM

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