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is it just me or is it the men i date

WHY do men say they will call and then a day or 2 goes by and they call and act like its no big deal?? is it just the men i choose or do other dating women get the same thing?? and any men on could maybe enlighten me on this!!!!!

Fri. Oct 6, 1:36pm

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I'd say they act like it's not a big deal to call two days later because it's not a big deal. They have interesting, busy lives and they assume that you do too.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 1:40 PM

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Wait, they actually call in just a day or two? These men are gems! They just don't want to appear pathetically eager.

Stick to complaining about the ones who say they'll call and then don't, or wait 2 months and insult you with a booty call.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 1:55 PM

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wait, they say they'll call? (lol)

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:00 PM

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ya know, my personal trainer never calls me promptly either. i think it's just a guy thing, dating or not.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:02 PM

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Most guys I know hate talking on the phone. To them there's no reason to call if you're not lining up some time to get together. Thus why call immediately when you're probably not going to be able to get together for several days or until next weekend? If you do she might think you are lame and desperate especially since you are already awkward at making stupid idle chit chat and even more so when it's over the phone, which you only talk on when your mother calls, and where there are no visual cues from the person you are talking to. If the conversation is too awkward she might decide not to see you again.

The above is a bit of a dramatization and a generalization. Not all guys are this way, but a good chunk of the ones I know are.

As for you - well why do you need them to call you immediately? And wouldn't it be a bit corny if they started laying on the charm thicker than peanut butter on a bagel? It always makes me think 'player' when a guy comes on strong after we've just met. Just curious, not trying to put you on the defensive.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:02 PM

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Here is my complaint...If you are dating a guy for 1 1/2 years, should be call each nights? My man said he "forgot" to call last night. Said he got home from class, started cleaning up his kitchen and forgot to call. Is that normal?

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:14 PM

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In a steady relationship, you should communicate on stuff like that. Did you two agree to call each other every night? If not, you shouldn't expect him to. Guys don't necessarily know what you want or what will make you happy. Heck, neither do best friends. You have to learn to communicate. Plus, there are lots of good books that help with the different communication styles of men and women. I have been married for 15 years and we are both still trying to perfect the art of understanding how each other 'tick.' But, it is a joy and it is worth all the effort we have put into it. That is where the emotional intimacy comes from.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:52 PM

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LOL 1:55 poster!! I thought the same thing. Two days is actually a pretty fast callback. It seems like most guys, if they're even going to call back, do it after something like 5-7 days. It's definitiely not you OP!! I think most guys don't want to seem too desperate to get another date. :)
2:14 poster. I personally think it's okay, but I guess it depends on each person. Sometimes we all get so bogged down with things that we forget the simple things like a phone call.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:53 PM

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To the OP. You ain't got nothin to worry about. If a guy is calling you at least once a week, he is interested. Just relax and enjoy life and let it happen if it is meant to.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:54 PM

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As a guy, some insight:

We wait a couple days after the date to call because we've been trained to. Through 130 years of trial and error, we've learned that if we call too soon, we seem desperate and the ladies will want nothing to do with us. We know that y'all SAY you want us to call sooner, but we've learned through hard experience that this is not actually what you want.

The pretending like it's no big deal thing? Same story. The calm, nonchalant voice you hear on the other end of the line is as practiced as the voice you hear over the intercom when your plane is on fire. Why? because if we seem too interested, we know you'll think something is up and move on. Again, experience has taught us this much.

As for dating for a year and a half and missing a call? That's because he just wanted an evening to himself. Some "me" time.

Friday, October 06, 2006, 2:56 PM

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