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Dieting is similar to Grieving

I read this is a magazine yesterday and the first sentence that compared Dieting to Facing a Severe loss really caught my eye. Basically the article stated that an effective diet is going to involve life changes and it will take at least a year to go through the full cycle with that diet. Just like when you lose a loved one you have that initial period of loss which is all most people think of with a diet, but then even after that period you then have to get through the next cycle of holiday, birthdays, etc and face that loss again each time. The author said that's is what it takes to really change old habits and be successful is to go through that full cycle recognizing old habits, and sticking to the new.

I had never thought of a diet that way but with my family's big season of birthdays and the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years holidays coming up I realized this really is true.

Wed. Oct 11, 7:43am

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it sure makes sense to me. when you think about it, food is there when we are happy, sad, for celebrations, for fun, ect...... most of our lives revolve around food in one way or another. when we diet it does feel like you are losing a best buddy who has been through the thick and thin with you. even though we just need a small amount to sustain our bodies it can play a major mind game to think about all the goodies that you may just now get the smallest nibble when before you could have your fill.
i might just try to have a funeral for my loss just to see if it makes me feel better.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 9:45 AM

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your comments really tie into the theme of the thread in the link below. i'm sure you've read it already, but it is dead-on with this topic...


Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 10:00 AM

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This is the BIGGEST BULLSHIT I've ever read. Stop complaining and get rid of your fat bum. The complaining is keeping you fat.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 10:02 AM

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I think it's more like a new relationship. You need to develop a new, healthy relationship with food and exercise. And I am certainly NOT grieving the loss of 35 pounds!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 10:20 AM

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gee, that's almost too supportive. and so insightful. and let's not leave out the tone of respect for others that comes screaming through your message. thanks for sharing. and good luck to you on your weight loss journey, too. or with finding the support you came to this site for. hopefully, you will encounter the same type of comments and courtesy in your journey as you've shown here.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 10:21 AM

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Losing weight and dieting is like grieving. I've been working at this since January and lost 42 pounds. This time, I'm giving away my clothes as they become too big. It's been really hard for me to do. It's hard to move on from what I'm used a result, I've had periods where I stall and I think its directly related to moving into something new and moving away from the old fat me.........

This experience is different for each of us......and I think everyone's point of view deserves respect. Agree to disagree.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 10:56 AM

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I am the one who said it's BULLSHIT.

Yes, tough love isn't always supportive but sometimes it's exactly what you need. Support comes in all shapes and sizes.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:10 AM

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yeah, i really feel the love with words like "...get rid of your fat bum" why not shut your big mouth?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:15 AM

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not all of us on here are fat, bullshit poster!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:15 AM

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but I would venture to guess that you are. Otherwise, you wouldn't be bothered by my post. My advice hits home.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:19 AM

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i don't need to be affected by racial slurs or sexist remarks directly in order to take offense to them, and i don't need to be fat to think your comments are offensive. there is a way to reach out with your message without putting people down. i hope your attitude helps you become who you want to be, but it does nothing to help me on my journey. can't you take the tough love being shown to you about your comments?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:25 AM

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good one, 11:25!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:55 AM

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touche. I'm sick of the complaining in my group. It's getting on my nerves.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 11:55 AM

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may i suggest that if you don't like the way your group members cope, you could join another group that suits you? you are complaining here, too. what proactive steps are you taking within your group?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 12:24 PM

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Not complaining

I don't see the op's post as complaining at all. She is just summarizing an article that she read and pointing out a very different insight into something that may hinder a person's weight loss. Many people have emotional ties to food and eating,, and therefore weightloss. Recognizing these emotional issues is the first step to dealing with them and ultimately succeeding.

In so many of the threads there seems to be someone who is posting nasty, belittling, unnecessary comments. I can't help wondering if it is the same person, or if there are lots of them out there. Didn't you ever hear the saying, "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 12:35 PM

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Well bullshit poster I'm the OP and I took offense. While I'm trying to lose weight I'm not fat or even overweight my BMI is solidly normaly if you would like to calculate it my height to be exact is 5'7.75 not quite 5'8 and my weight is 150.8 as of this morning.

You're "tough love" isn't love, lets just call it what it is... an @ss being an @ss.

There was no complaining in my post. I wasn't sitting there saying oh wow as me why can't I sit on my couch eating bonbons and not lose weight. My comment was purely passing on information I read that I thought was different but a new and interesting way to look at things. All too often people are on the yo-yo diet which I'm refusing to do and this author felt that people think of diets in much too short of term and don't focus on the fact that even if your reach your goal weight things like upcoming birthdays and holidays can set you back on a bad track if your not prepared.

So for you bullshit I'm going to give you some advice that your mother should have taught you when you were little... if you can't saying anything nice, learn to shut the hell up.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 12:44 PM

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funny you should mention that adage...i started a thread on that is what folks had to say...


Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 12:46 PM

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Well, you're still here, trying to justify your points. How are you justifying that you still have an extra 20 pounds on you? I'm sure you'll find an article to support that too.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 1:18 PM

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people... Don't Feed The Trolls

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 1:21 PM

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to the op and 1:18 poster (same person?)

i don't understand why you are on this site if you do not have your own weight struggles. are you too skinny? were you ever overweight? is this helping you?

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 1:27 PM

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oops! not directed at the op. sorry.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 1:28 PM

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i actually have about 50 pounds that i'm still working on. when i first gained weight, i never thought it would be as hard as it is to change my metabolism. i am not taking any drugs or following any fad diet scams or starving myself to lose the weight, so it is coming off slowly, but it is staying off. that's my reason for still having weight to lose. but thankfully, i am not bitter towards others about my issues. i am happy with how i am changing. i do relate to the op's concept of change being a bit frightening, but i am still embracing the changes.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 1:37 PM

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To 1:27 I'm not either of the people you posted to, but:

I'm not having a weight struggle, at least not as truly overweight people do. I'm learning about nutrition, putting on muscle, and improving my athletic performance. (the other kind of "training")

PT _is_ helping me. It's a diverse site, and there are many participants for whom weight loss or gain is a secondary goal, coming somewhere after (for example) running their first marathon.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 2:05 PM

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127 here to 205

oh, sure, i get that there are many reasons for being a member here. but i am curious about what brings the 118 poster here since that person is basically mocking others' efforts. i did think that most were dealing with an issue with either weight-loss or weight-gain, so you have broadened my perspective. thanks!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 2:15 PM

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Back to the topic....

I can def. see how dieting is like grieving, but not so much for the foods you have to give up (I don't believe in deprivation), but def. for the old person you need to shed to become the person you want to be.
I think if people don't do the work of saying good-bye to their old selves, they won't be able to maintain the weight loss they do achieve. I think you not only need to shed pounds, but negativity, procrastination, etc. It's a 180 degree body and world-view change...if you only do the body part you're bound to be unhealthy again.
Good luck, OP, it's great that you're doing this part of the work along with the food changes and exercise!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006, 2:40 PM

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I think it's interesting that when this thread was heated, there were so many comments, & now that someone brought it back to the topic originally mentioned, no one has since commented.

Sorry, just had to point that out.

Thursday, October 12, 2006, 2:55 PM

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i stopped checking it out during the battle, but my curiosity got the better of me today...i do see the point the op has made and it makes me think about other areas of my life that have been hard for me to change...

Thursday, October 12, 2006, 3:01 PM

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