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Do people treat you differently now that you are skinnier?

I've had this question bobbling around in my brain for quite some time now. When you lose a significant amount of weight, let's say 20% of your original weight, has anybody felt that others treat them any differently, good or bad? And I don't just mean the opposite sex being more attracted. Are random people nicer to you? Do you act any different? Are you friendlier or more outgoing?

I've lost about 45 lbs in a year, but I haven't noticed any change in my behavior or others peoples interactions with me.


Tue. Oct 31, 7:28pm

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Really? I totally notice the difference in how I'm treated. (-70lbs later) I feel like now I'm finally "passing" for "normal". It's most clear, ironically, when people make snotty comments about fat people in my presence, because they don't see me as one of "them" (I thought I heard the worst when I was fat, but now I'm hearing what people really think, ugh). Just in general, I feel like I am less pre-judged, people smile at me more, and yeah, guys seem to notice me more. Kindof a shame I had to work so hard just to feel normal.
And perhaps I am more positive or happy now, but otoh, I am actually much more obsessed now with food, since I have to be so vigilant... People who didn't know me before think I'm just a health nut for no reason. It's nice if people treat you the same -- maybe they were treating you without bias from the beginning!

Tuesday, October 31, 2006, 11:45 PM

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I have lost about 25 pounds, and I wasn't quite "overweight" by BMI to begin with. People sure do treat me differently. Everyone (not just guys) is a lot friendlier, and gives me opportunities I might not otherwise get. However, I do think that I work in an unusually appearance-conscious and appearance-favoring workplace. (And it's not that way for any good reason; I'm not a model or anything!)

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 9:25 AM

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Oh yes. Sales guys are more helpful, guys on the streets are nicer. People think I'm more successful. It's a fact, based on experiments that individuals who are thinner and more attractive are percieved as being more successful.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 9:35 AM

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I've lost about 45 pounds and what surprises me is how many people comment on it. I do a lot of trainings and public outreach events for work and I tend to see a lot of the same people at these events - not people I know well at all - many more by sight than by name. What has been weird for me is how many people have come up to me and told me how great I look for having lost weight. It's a little weird to have people I barely know commenting on my appearance so much. It's like who knew they were paying so much attention one way or the other as to how I looked.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 9:42 AM

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I've lost 25-30 pounds and I'm surprised at some of the comments I get from people who don't know me. A gym staff member implied that I don't need to work out with "Oh, you're just naturally skinny". Then there was the dress sales woman who said "I wish I could be small like you". I simply don't know how to respond to these unexpected comments. I'm not naturally skinny, and, dear sales woman, I wish you could put aside your wishful thinking and see the blood, sweat, and tears I put into being this size.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 11:56 AM

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I notice it too. I was never obese, but I was 30 lbs overweight and I got down to a size 4. I am treated more normal and sales people are more helpful. I get attention from guys (which is unwanted - I am married) so it can be negative. I do have other thin friends who treat me like "one of them." And some overweight people I know are jealous. One lady commented, "Well now I have another person I need to hate for being so thin!" She didn't mean it in a negative way, but I am sure there is a part of her that feels this way. There is always a little truth in sarcasm.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 12:13 PM

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I feel like I'm treated differently after losing 75 pounds, but I think it's more about how I view myself. When I was overweight, I didn't want to stand around and chit chat with old friends. I didn't want to smile or make nice with people I passed, and I certainly didn't want sales people helping me find my size. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm treated differently because I present myself in a different way.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 2:21 PM

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i don't think people treat me any different (i've lost almost 60 lbs!)-but i view myself differently, i make eyecontact more with strangers and i definitely am more aware that others notice me. before i felt invisible in the grocery store, or at the bank, now i see men looking at me and women too (not in a lewd way, just that i didn't notice if they did or not before).

i too have gotten some comments that seemed bizarre. i waitress and i've had customers say to me "did you lose like 40 lbs or something?". you would never go up to someone you didn't know well who gained some weight and say "wow, did you put on some weight?". while i take it as a compliment that my efforts are showing, it does put me a little on the defensive. my boyfriend's mother says to me all the time "oh, but you're so lucky that you can eat like that and look like you do!" I try to explain to her that i count every darn calorie that goes into my mouth and exercise 6 days a week . . . .that is how i can look/eat like i do!!! this is not some easy skinny gene i was born with!

i guess we should all just be happy that we are getting healthier and the bonus is that we look better and others notice that!

Wednesday, November 01, 2006, 2:41 PM

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I've dropped around 60 pounds, and have definately noticed a marked difference in the way people around me treat me. Complete strangers will come up to me these days and have a chat. In some ways its a positive thing as I get great enjoyment from interacting on a deeper level with people. I have felt a bit sad though that it's so strongly present in human nature to treat overweight people in the way that we do, and makes me feel, why couldn't you all treat me this way before?? Im the same person inside!!!!!!!

Monday, July 30, 2007, 12:07 AM

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I agree with most people. But I think I was the main reason for the change in everyday interactions. After I lost 125lbs I found that my attitude changed. I was more outgoing, which I think had a lot to do with people being friendlier to me in general. I walked head high, not pointed to the ground.
I also found that women were a little meaner to me, maybe it was a jealousy thing- my best friend at the time accused me of flirting with her man...!


Monday, July 30, 2007, 12:26 AM

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I've experience no difference in the way people treat me - however, it has a lot to do with the people I surrond myself with too. "Real" friends would never treat you differently based on how you look.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 7:46 AM

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Yeah I definitely notice a change with strangers in the world. People are a lot more accomodating and friendlier. I have lost more than 80 pounds over a long period of time. My friends and family are pretty much the same with me...loved me then and love me now (I am so fortunate to have good people in my life) but my worldly interactions are so much more fluid. There has not been a much turnover in my life with friends which I see as a good thing.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 8:58 AM

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Yes, I dress more girly now that i've been losing weight. More form fitted clothing and have definitely noticed how men treat me differently. I've noticed this in the last 18 pound loss. It was like I was invisible when I was 210lbs. Crazy.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 8:59 AM

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Excellent thread topic

Of course men are nicer in all situations. One situation that surprised me was how much easier it is for me to get a job now, if it's a man doing the interview especially. My current job I was vastly under qualified for and I have a (small) criminal record, but I looked really good at the interview and now I'm working full-time, my boss gives me first pick of my schedule, and as much time off as I like.

The downside of being smaller is that women hate me. Not necessarily in an envious way. I think when I was fat I seemed less confident and easier for women to like. Now that I'm in shape, I probably come off as a bit on the conceited side. Not on purpose, I just spent so much of my life as a marshmallow and I'm just so damn glad I'm not one anymore.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 10:13 AM

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was just talking about this with my husband

Total difference in the way that people treat me! When I go to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription the guy scurries to help me now and is very helpful. Salesmen at stores (grocery stores, target etc. etc. ) don't just ask me how my day is, they have actual conversations with me. I have even gotten some free stuff at places. It's like a whole new world. Suddenly I'm not invisible anymore

Monday, July 30, 2007, 3:53 PM

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The guys at the bike shop no longer direct me away from the carbon fiber parts that I'm looking for...

Monday, July 30, 2007, 4:03 PM

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Women notice but don't say anything. However, the men i work with mention it all the time. They always used to come and talk to me. Now them soend more time talking to me and always compliment me. It's really nice to be noticed, even though it's not really for he right reasons. I am still the same person i was before inside, just my outside is a little smaller.

Monday, July 30, 2007, 4:27 PM

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I've lost 60 pounds over time, and still have 40 pounds to go, but I have noticed a HUGE difference in the way people interact with me, and am not sure if part of it is just because I feel so much more self confident and pretty?? However, I have had tons of people ask me if I have lost weight, and tell me how great I look, which I love.

Monday, August 06, 2007, 5:38 PM

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I have a friend who lost 30 pounds and she became much more rude. She looked great and I told her that, (I thought she even looked fine before) but she seemed more vicious when she would talk about other people behind their backs. Almost as if she had compassion before and then lost it as the weight came off. She even seemed to become more interested in gossip.

I also hate when people have lost weight and they talk about how "disgusting" or "gross" they were before they lost weight. What a terrible way to think about yourself. Even if you are overweight,....why would you think such hateful things about your body? I've have been trying to lose weight and it's coming very slowly but my husband would tell me that if I continue to hate my body then no matter how much weight I lose I will never be happy.

2 cents

Monday, August 06, 2007, 6:08 PM

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There used to be a great place in Tulsa called the Deli for Dieters. It was a restaurant, bakery, and grocery store that sold only foods that were healthy and consistent with the Weight Watchers program.

It was my favorite place to eat, even after I lost 30 pounds and reached my goal weight. I was standing in line one day to order my lunch and the guy in front of me made an ugly remark about people like me not belonging there and that I should go eat some at another restaurant.

It was a tacky thing for him to do, but it always stuck in my mind as the first time I was mistaken for a genuine skinny person.



Monday, August 06, 2007, 6:51 PM

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The other day my mom blurted, "You are so thin, skinnier than your sister now!"

My sister is 17, and in good shape. She was standing right there, too.

Way to give a teen an eating disorder, mom. That's not a nice thing to say.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007, 1:30 PM

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i lost about 30 or so pounds over the course of a year but was abroad for some of it. it bothers me when friends see me (after not seeing me for awhile) and assume that something must be wrong in my life for me to be thinner. they assume that i lost weight through eating disorders when really i've been working my ass off in the gym and trying hard to eat healthy! i wish people would see it more as me taking care of my health instead of a negative thing.

however, i think a lot of the positive change that people do notice is from an internal shift - when you realize that all your hard work is starting to pay off, you simply become more comfortable in your own skin.

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 12:02 PM

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I went from 148 to 128 (5'7) & most people would say "I thought you looked good before, but now...wow!" or something to that extent. Every once in awhile I would run into someone who would say, "Is everything okay?". Sometimes it feels like nothing can be good enough. My husband was sad that my boobs got smaller but thought my whole body looked really good. Others would say that my face looked too thin & gaunt. Frustrating!!!

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 12:09 PM

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i think people react negatively sometimes because they are jealous. they see how hard you worked and how much it payed off. :)

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 1:32 PM

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another view

I'm a consultant and when women know there men are going to see a "fat" woman thet don'e mind.. BUt as I lose weight, I can see that its harder for women to agree to men spending so much time with a fit attractive person. you cant win!

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 2:01 PM

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sorry

for all the typos above.... my typing is horredous and I should learn to proof before I post!!! Hope you can decipher it!

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 2:02 PM

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I've lost about 65 pounds (I work in kilograms, so have to convert) in the last 2.5 years. I was morbidly obese, my BMI was just over 40. My BMI is now 27. It was just under 25 (normal range), but it's winter here and I put on a few kg. I've had lots of great comments and great changes in how people treat me. But the most worrying are the people who tell me not to lose any more because they think I'm becoming anorexic! For goodness sake - I'm still in the overweight range! I've also been described as "gaunt". These comments, and encouragement from others to eat more, can really challenge your resolve.

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 4:53 PM

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i've been working hard losing weight, i'm almost at a 40 pound loss since early spring. one of my co-workers has lost about 10 and gained 5 back in the same amount of time. she's very jealous about it, and has no problem telling me that it isn't fair how much weight i've lost. yesterday i got a random compliment and she was standing there, she was pissed! then today i said something about being almost out of the 160's into 150's and her face squinched up so tight i thought she was going to bust a blood vessel! there's two huge differences between our progress- 1. she refuses to workout, and doesn't realize you can only lose so much with just eating right. 2. she cheats on her food all the time. she has no commitment, but has no problem getting pissed when she can't figure out why the weight is not coming off her.

1. i workout everyday and workout hard. 2. i eat pretty much perfectly..... it's hard to stay positive around her when she's constantly trying to make me feel guilty for my progress!

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 7:28 PM

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I went from slightly chubby to size zero. Guys treated me like I was one of them before but now they cater way too much to me. I don't like this because I never had a problem with being one of the guys before and had grown very comfortable with the role. Women are nicer to me too. I haven't experienced any jealousy from them at all. One or two have asked me how I lost the weight.

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 9:41 PM

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