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Gained 5 pounds and friends are unsupportive.

So this summer I reached my goal weight...and as it gets colder and life gets more hectic and more social I've gained a little weight back. Yes 5 pounds is not THAT big of a deal...but I felt really good about reaching my goal and I fear that this 5 pounds will turn into 10 pounds to 20 pounds etc.
All of my friends are larger than I am and arent as concerned with their weight ( they look great but they are all very voluptuous women and they love their sweets)... I on the other hand feel better about myself when I'm fitter and slender....my weight doesnt distribute itself as nicely lol. So they are constantly telling me that I dont need to worry about the weight. My roommate will order in chinese and offer me her leftovers or bring home brownies and ofcourse I WANT them. And with the constant " you dont need to worry about it...its only chinese food, your so tiny" etc... I feel like I can indulge. I keep going on and off my diet and with the holidays approaching I'm scared! I've tried talking to them about it but they really dont get it...they try to but they dont understand that i just have different goals for my body. So now I find myself trying to avoid social situations which just makes me sad. what should I do?


Wed. Nov 22, 12:05am

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honey, you need to reach in deep and pull out every bit of will power you have!! it's tough-i love to eat when i'm being social w/ friends but if you get together frequently this can wreak havoc on you diet rather quickly! you need to keep healthy snacks in the house at all times so if your roommate offers you some bad food, you have other options. it's great that your friends are voluptuous and confident about their bodies, but that shouldn't hamper your goals. maybe suggest a night where you all make dinner together and you can show them some healthy meal options? not necessarily super low cal things-but maybe at least introduce them to heart healthy fats like found in salmon, avocados, and walnuts, and vegetables they may never have given a chance. it's hard to talk to people who don't understand your struggle-so you really need to stick to your goals!!! outline them clearly for yourself in your log if you haven't already!!

The holidays are tough-you will be surrounded by temptation-you need to decided how often you can splurge. and remember "splurging" isn't something you do EVERYday. Don't avoid social situations-life is too short not to be out there enjoying yourself! have a couple of healthy snacks before going out so you are less tempted by the treats you see. Use peertrainer-there are so many great threads on how to avoid holiday temptations!!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006, 1:02 AM

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Take a picture ,if you dont have one already. (Better still would be to have a picture when you were your goal weight). Stick it on your mirror or refridgerator.

That'll make you remember how good you felt and proud when you reached your goal. Hopefully would help you stick to your plan.

Keep exercising! So incase you've indulged, remember the next day you need to do a little extra to come off it.

Dont let there be a rebound in your love affair with yourself ;-)


Wednesday, November 22, 2006, 6:30 AM

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You need to learn how to control yourself. How to manage you diet so that you can live and still maintain your weight. Your right that 5lbs is just the start of a slippery slope downhill.

1) Eat healthy before a social situation it will help you not feel hungry so that you don't feel compelled to eat junk.
2) Stock lots of healthy things you like to eat at home so when you roomate offers something bad you can say no and choose to eat something good.
3) If you know you are going somewhere that you will not be able to eat great try to plan your day around that. Eat a small breakfast, plan a salad or something for lunch so that your calories for earlier in the day are less so the evening social engagement wont hurt you as bad.

You can't make your friends change, you can't hide in hole the rest of your life either. You need to learn to change your lifestyle so that choosing the right things becomes natural.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006, 9:13 AM

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Social eating-- it is so tempting! I am lucky that I don't care for sweets, but put some chips and salty snacks in front of me and I'm digging in!

So... What I do is to eat an apple or banana on the way to a social party. That way, my "full" sensor can go off BEFORE I arrive, so that I am not munching away mindlessly while talking to people (SOOO easy to do!)

I also try to stay away from the alcoholic drinks, pop and punch... opting for a water with a slice of lemon, or just plain water-- A glass of wine is okay, but I truly try to stay away from drinking much more than that...

Also, when at a social, load up your plate with the fruits and veggies (assuming that there is some)... Think about how GOOD a food tastes before letting it enter your body-- that way, you are not just mindlessly munching (which, as you know is quite easy to do!)

Finally, use the smallest plate you can find, eyeball a measure of the foods, and try to limit yourself by not taking large servings of food.

I totally emphathize with you.. in 1 month, it will be my 1 year anniversary on PT. I am determined NOT to be at my former weight or size by that time!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006, 3:26 PM

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My advice would be to expand your social circles. That certainly doesn't mean that you dump your existing wonderful friends, but that you broaden your friendships to include people who have similar goals to your own, and appreciate the importance of healthy eating and moving your body. With this group of people, you can socialise in a way that keeps you well, on track, and happy.

Thursday, November 23, 2006, 9:07 PM

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Learn to say no unless you really want it or are really hungry. I had the same five pounds come back for pretty much the same reason (saying yes to dessert at every meal, eating out, and having candy for snacks). Now that I have started just saying no, the pounds have come back off. I also try and just eat veggies for dinner, and salads when I go out. I treat myself now and then, but I agree that looking at a picture of yourself at your goal weight will make you remember how good that feels.

Saturday, November 25, 2006, 8:59 AM

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Thanks for shedding some light...

Wow, that must be so frustrating, and it sheds a lot of light onto what many of us subconsciously do. I too am guilty of eating a brownie while encouraging others to eat it. While I have never thought to myself "gee, Jen is looking so good, I should offer her some sweets to pack it all back on...", I am sure that I have unknowingly undermined the efforts of my more disciplined friends. YIKES! As a heavy woman, most everyone looks skinny to me, lol. You make a very good point, and one that I will think about each time I offer to share...
Thanks again!!

Saturday, November 25, 2006, 10:12 AM

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