EMAIL THREAD

This weight loss kind of kicks all of our butts

Check this article out - look at how much weight she had lost by 1992!

Link

Sat. Dec 2, 12:11am

Oh my goodness, I just did a search on her and look at this list I found. I can't even think of the words to comment on this.

Link

Saturday, December 02, 2006, 12:17 AM

Okay, the part I'm trying to get around is that the first woman in the second article, who peaked between 1200 and 1600 pounds, HAD A BOYFRIEND.
Try not to let your mind get a visual on that...

Monday, December 04, 2006, 5:09 PM

Um, are obese people not supposed to have boyfriends? How about girlfriends?

Monday, December 04, 2006, 6:49 PM

Geez, I'm "only" 40 lbs overweight and I haven't had a boyfriend since the 90s. It's like I'm not thin enough for the mainstream, but not fat enough for the fetishists. I guess I'm just jealous, lol.

Monday, December 04, 2006, 11:42 PM

You are ONLY 40 pounds overweight. Now shake your hair out, stand up straight, wear something bright, and introduce yourself with a smile and a sparkle. Trust me, to the extent your weight is holding you back, it's because YOU think it's unattractive, not because decent guys do.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006, 5:56 AM

We have someone near me like this lady. He has had bariatric surgery to lose weight and at the time of his surgery was a documented 1,072 lbs.

http://www.ketv.com/health/4117756/detail.html

They recently had an update on our news that he was getting to attend his first Nebraska Cornhuskers game which is something he always wanted to do but had never been able to before. At that time he was down to 370 lbs.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006, 9:07 AM

I find that kind of weight gain totally baffling! I mean, I have seen people moving about on the subways and buses (I live in NYC) who are, I would guess, about 200 lbs. overweight. And it makes me uncomfortable to see them! I can't imagine someone who weighs over 1000 lbs...how do they go to the bathroom? What kind of metabolism do they have? Do they really have to eat that much to maintain their weight, or is their physiology so messed up that they could gain weight eating 2000 cals per day?
It's just so mysterious to me! After a certain weight, does your body just store everything as fat and gain no matter what? And what do their heart and livers look like?

Friday, December 08, 2006, 1:01 PM

it is utterly distressing to me that someone would question the ability of anyone, anyone regardless of their physical appearance or handicap, to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. don't you believe that even the woman in the article might be a beautiful, loving, kind person on the inside? is there nothing about her worth sharing with another caring, loving person?

i'm shocked at such a shallow remark. but, alas, i'm probably just jealous because i don't think like that.

Friday, December 08, 2006, 1:43 PM

I think the poster was alluding to the fact that the majority of men aren't attracted to extremely overweight women. While that is an extremely unpleasant thought, it's also reality. There is nothing to say that she isn't an awesome person, which I would say is why her husband stuck by her.

There is someone out there for all of us, no doubt. But extremely obese people *may* have more difficulty finding that person.

Friday, December 08, 2006, 1:57 PM

"...the fact that the majority of men aren't attracted to extremly overweight women." is it really a fact, or an opinion that is perpetuated by people calling it a fact? in america it may be harder for an overweight woman (or man) to find a mate, but that does not make it an international truth, or fact. this is the kind of comment that seems to justify the idea of outer beauty=worthiness. don't worry, i'm done. it tends to stir up some commotion when i express these kinds of thoughts.

Friday, December 08, 2006, 2:26 PM

Actually, I've travelled to over 15 countries on 5 continents, and it's the same. I'm not saying it's right, in fact, far from it. But there's no denying that it happens.

Friday, December 08, 2006, 2:37 PM

In my obnoxious wealth of experience, men have no problem being with an overweight woman (and I mean 30-100 lbs, not 10 vanity pounds or the outrageously obese). However, the overwhelming majority wouldn't introduce us to friends and family as their girlfriend - at least not in my corner of the country. The contents might be A+, but if the packaging rates a D, your dating pool is extremely limited.

I speak as someone who has been hit on by over 200 different men, aged 24-51, in the past 3 years, but only got asked out on a date twice.

Friday, December 08, 2006, 2:46 PM

To the 2:26pm poster, I'm right there on your wavelength, sister/brother! I don't even think it's true that in America it's harder for an overweight person to find a date. Don't statistics suggest that many more people are overweight than without a significant other?

-pfrau

Friday, December 08, 2006, 7:48 PM

Good Lord, people. The 5:09 poster was not talking about "regular" obese people being able to find romance. He/she was talking about a woman who weighed over 1200 pounds. Nothing about that is normal.

Saturday, December 09, 2006, 12:00 AM

I'd bet 1200-pound woman's boyfriend is one of those "feeders"...you know, those fetishists who get off on watching and helping an obese woman eat and eat and eat. I was approached by one of those once, online. Made my skin crawl.

Saturday, December 09, 2006, 1:00 AM

Awww you guys are a giggle. Whether we like or not the skinny chicks tend to be the plate of choice at a physical level - which is part of the reason why the 'diet' industry is thriving and will continue to thrive as Americans get bigger and bigger. And of course is part of the reason why PEERTrainer has such a thriving community. And while I'm putting all my personal opinions out there - (and no doubt will get told off very soon!), its not like guys aren't hit by the same shallow types of standards. It aint no fun on the dating scene to be the short guy - sure, he may be a great guy, put again he's not the physical plate of choice for most women.

And yet another thing to add, not so nice to imply that for those who are trying to lose 10lbs to get to what they consider their ideal to be are vain and shallow. Hey - whether we're here to lose 100lbs, 10lbs or 3lbs - it's legitimate, and I've had a lot more than 10lbs to lose and I can assure you that vanity was as much if not more of a motivator than health for the first 30lbs to disappear. So - go hard my slimmer sisters - you're doing great!

And yeah, the other poster was right of course - that the woman this thread was started about was in an exceptional situation of course. I thought it was lovely when I read on her site that she was married with a child. Because no matter how amazing that woman was, I certainly don't know one single man from my social circles who would have initiatied an initimate relationship with someone that big. And likewise if it was a man who was that big - I can't imagine anyone I know lining up for a relationship no matter what his personality. It's not only a matter of sexual attraction also, in her case she had a seriously debilitating mental and physical illness. Incredible the extent to which she came back from it.

Saturday, December 09, 2006, 3:29 PM

The 2:37 poster has apparently not visited all the same countries I have, because I have flat-out been told by guys in Africa and in the Caribbean that I did not have "enough meat" to be interesting. (130, 5'4") In fact, Western standards of thinness look starved and possibly diseased to many Africans. I certainly do not live up to the USA supermodel standard, but am no great beauty by the rounded-means-wealthy standard either.

As for the woman in the article, I wouldn't assume that her husband was a "feeder," but I wouldn't assume that he danced for Chippendales, either! There are lots of obese guys out there who know that eye-candy is not coming their way, and are forced (the horror!) to "settle for" women with good minds, good personalities, and good attitudes. :-)

Sunday, December 10, 2006, 6:31 PM

6.31 pm, that was a good post, I'm still giggling...

Sunday, December 10, 2006, 11:47 PM

i tend to look into a person rather than at a person. anything can happen to alter a person's appearance (car or motorcycle accident, need for medications that cause bodily changes, cancer) and i'd rather find someone who is not so defined by their outward appearance. you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

Monday, December 11, 2006, 11:16 AM

Alas, the cover is what makes you look inside the book...

Monday, December 11, 2006, 11:57 AM

actually, the subject matter covered within the pages of the book is what attracts me.

Monday, December 11, 2006, 12:07 PM

i've heard of "interventions" staged by loved ones for those suffering from alcohol or drug addiction. has anyone ever heard of such a tactic for those who suffer from eating disorders?

Monday, December 11, 2006, 4:06 PM

4:06, i love the show "intervention" on either bravo or A & E on sunday nights at 9 or 10 (glad i could be so useful with the exact information). anyway, they have profiled a few people with eating disorders but the people were bulimic; i would love to see an intervention for a chronic overeater.

Monday, December 11, 2006, 4:18 PM

Yes, it's not unheard of to have interventions for eating disorders. However, I am under the impression that they're even more difficult than with alcohol/drug addicts. Firstly, alcoholism is accepted as a disease/substance addiction. Not everyone agrees that food can be an addiction too (I'm talking specifically about overeating). Second, the person with the eating disorder can't abstain entirely from the substance, as one can do with alcohol. And that makes treatment harder. Third, with alcoholism, it affects the alcoholic plus everyone around them. But with eating, it's often the person themselves who bears the brunt of the addiction. My suggestion would be to talk to someone at an appropriate organization before doing an intervention. You can speak to Overeaters Anonymous, or a psychiatrist specializing in addictive behavior. One word of warning though... when consulting a psychiatrist, I've found it better to speak to more than one person. Every now 'n again, you find yourself talking to a crackpot with serious baggage. They are human, after all. If you get more than one perspective on the problem, you're more likely to have a balanced plan of approach.

Monday, December 11, 2006, 6:10 PM

"intervention" is on A&E on Sunday's at 10pm. i watch it faithfully!

Monday, December 11, 2006, 9:41 PM

just for the sake of being understood, i am not planning an intervention, i am only curious. i don't agree, however, that people with eating disorders are bearing the burdeon themselves compared to alcoholics who affect those around them. i think friends and family on both sides of the equation are ill-affected by these diseases. i also don't agree that overeaters face a more difficult challenge since they cannot abstain entirely from eating. yes, it is true that they need to eat, just as an alcoholic still needs to drink beverages. as an alcoholic has to give up just the alcoholic beverages, so too must an overeater avoid fat-laden and sugar-packed, unhealthy foods. it is all a matter of regulation. i am experienced in dealing personally with both issues and the challenges in each situation were basically the same. "what beverages can i have?" "what food is okay for me to eat?"

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 9:08 AM

6.10 here

9.08, you make a good point. I still believe that alcohol affects those around us more than eating - for e.g. no one starts beating their spouse when they're binging on sugar, but they *may* do so under the influence of alcohol. In that sense, it's more destructive.

But I see what you're saying about the other point. I hadn't thought of it in those terms. Both food and alcohol addicts have to eat/drink respectively... but have to abstain from certain forms of food/beverage. I too have personal experience in both problems, but hadn't made the connection you point out. Thanks :-)

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 11:46 AM

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