this is serious but doesnt have anything to do with weight loss!!

my friend who is a male is very depressed. he is pondering thoughts of suicide and has been for awhile. i'm trying to help him but hes not real big on talking about his problems so when i dont know whats wrong its really hard to make things right. has anyone else been in this situation? any ideas on how to open him up and spill everything or even how to make him feel like hes not a total screw up and that i care? someone please help! i would never really expet this out of him im really worried!

Tue. Oct 11, 1:57am

I don't know, I'm wondering if there is a suicide hotline that you could call for advice. This is a very big deal and you need professional advice.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 7:37 AM

Spend time with him. But agree with the above poster -- you need to get him some professional help. If you google suicide hotline, I'm sure you will find a lot of stuff, and also maybe you can convince him to see a local therapist. Good luck.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 9:59 AM

See if you can get him to go for a walk - guys really open up a lot more when they have some outlet for their energy and they don't feel 'cornered' and pressured into talking about their feelings. When you're out walking don't pressure him, just talk about whatever comes to mind and it there's something really bugging him, it'll come out because when you're stressing every topic is a reminder of what's bugging you. If he's not ready to talk the fresh air and activity may give him a little lift. If he needs more than you can provide, suggest a counselor. You may have to go on a couple walks to really get at what's eating him, so be prepared to make it a regular thing. Alternately a standing coffee date is good too, but I generally find getting out and moving works better.

Best luck to you and your friend.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 10:21 AM

Hotlines in 50 states

http://suicidehotlines.com/

Link

Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 10:41 AM

hi, i'm a grad student in counseling psych...

keep in mind that the severity of his situation can be assessed by determining the following details: intent, plan, means, preparation
the closer he is to preparation the more severe and imminent danger!
has he discussed intention to harm himself...does he have a plan...are things available to him to carry out this plan...has he made efforts to put this plan in motion?
you also want to make sure he is not self-medicating which makes him more vulnerable.
support him - let him know that you are there and that you care, that these feelings are very common with depression, but that therapeutic help is available - not only medication. offer yourself as a person to contact when he feels things are slipping away, but don't jepeordize your own well-being. encourage him to seek professional help, use his support systems, confide in someone.
please take care of yourself as well. i know you care, but don't cross boundaries you are unfamiliar with. my prayers are with you both.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 11:02 AM

thank you everyone! this is serious and im unsure what to do! i just wish i knew how to get him to open up! thank you again i will post and let everyone know the end th this mess!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005, 3:05 PM

Medication

He may be chemically imbalanced, in which case "opening up" won't make a difference in how he feels. I've had clinical depression for years that runs in my family and I control it with medication. He probably feels hopeless which is the worst feeling in the world. I would call a family member and make them aware, or a counselor and ask how to get him in to seek professional help.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005, 6:01 AM

The grad student above is correct!

I used to work in a mental hospial with adolescents who were suicidal. One of the primary things to pay attention to is the amount of detail that the person has regarding a plan to carry out a potential suicide. Oftentimes, the person will be depressed for a long period of time, and then suddenly their personality changes, and they are happy and carefree. Usually, that's a sign that they have made peace with their decision and may be close to carrying it out. Another thing is appearance. Has their appearance become more disheveled lately? That's a factor as well. One more thing to look for, is this peson giving things away that mean a lot to him/her? I would storngly encourage you immediately follow through on the others' advice and get this person some help immediately, BUT take care of yourself as well. What the grad student said about boundaries is crucial for you. Good luck, and keep us posted.

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Sunday, September 30, 2018, 4:30 PM

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