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"cutting yourself"

I was surfing around and found this article about how to stop cutting yourself. I've hears about this, and saw it in that movie about 13 year olds (I can't remember the name, great movie though). This article said 1 in 25 people "cut" themselves when they are feeling bad. Is this true?? Does anyone actually have experience with this?

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Tue. Dec 12, 11:56am

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I have known people who cut themselves. The people I knew were really hard to deal with and hard to try to help, but they loved the attention they got from the people trying to help them. Most of the time, they refused that they even had a problem and that it was just an accident.

On another subject though, I believe I am OCD. My ocd manifests itsself in ways that other people believe I am hurting myself, but I have it rationalized in my mind that I am not.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 12:24 PM

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I was hospitalised for several months for various disturbances, one "symptom" being self-mutilation in different forms. I was on a ward where most of the patients also did so in varying degrees of extremity. I haven't in over two years, but the urge is often there.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 12:26 PM

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I have done it, although not to any extreme degree, and not so that anyone at all noticed. At the time (this was years and years ago) I was in great emotional pain over a guy, and somehow felt that to physically hurt myself gave me a _reason_ to feel so bad. Sort of bringing the physical and the mental into equilibrium, so to speak.

A few months ago I started seeing a guy... ...While in bed one morning I noticed a fine tracery of scars on his left bicep, now partially covered by a tattoo. It took him a while to admit to me what they were from, but indeed, he had at about the same age (late teens/early 20's) done the same thing I had, in almost the exact same circumstances, with the same feelings!!! I was lucky not to have visible scars, I guess.

I also work with someone who has arm scars from similar cutting, similarly in the past: he is gay and was at the time closeted and highly depressed that he would never be accepted. Again, it brought his mental agony and physical being into alignment that "made sense at the time."

So I'm inclined to think that while being hospitalized for such things is unusual, and that cutting to the extent that other people notice if you don't tell them may be unusual, there are a LOT of people who have done it at least once, with only Jack Daniels for company, and for whom it worked well enough that they never needed to do it again.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 12:43 PM

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The movie is called "Thirteen." I just saw it a few weeks ago. It made me sad and worried for my own daughter (who is only 5 right now). But better to be sad and worried but armed with knowledge than to be happy and ignorant.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 12:55 PM

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i've had various friends and roommates who cut themselves, and it's not always an attention thing. i cut in high school sometimes.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 1:43 PM

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This is unbelievable. I've never heard of this.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 3:29 PM

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I used to do it in highschool. still have the scars to prove it. I wonder how many people there are out there who have done it. It is probably more common than we think.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 3:41 PM

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it's unbelievable that you've never heard of this!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 3:41 PM

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12:43 here -- I can tell you that 20 years ago no-one seemed to have heard of it (although as it turns out plenty of people were doing it), and even psychiatrists confused it with suicide attempts. Which it isn't. I tend to think that there is a spectrum of behaviors we label "cutting," some of which are one-offs that aren't indicative of abnormal problems, and others of which are compounded with much worse problems.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 3:46 PM

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I did it in highschool and it was NOT a cry for attention. Nobody knew. It is very hard to explain and I think hard for people who don't experience it to understand. It was my way of dealing with emotions (mainly anger for me) that felt too big to deal with emotionally. I dealt with them physically hence the cutting. It was a release, the emotions I was feeling that felt "too big" were gone. I was never hospitalized or saw anyone about it, I just kind of grew out of it. But it is very real and I think very different from person to person.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 4:23 PM

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I think the female lead (Maggie Gyllenhal) in the movie "Secretary" did that - it was the first time I'd heard of it (maybe 3-4 years ago?). I kept hearing what a sexy movie it was, but I found it totally unsexy - but very, very good. So as I understand it, it's all about feeling some kind of emotional release as opposed to the escape provided by drugs or alcohol. To me it sounds kind of religious, like a spin on the concept of self-flagellation.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 5:38 PM

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I had a similar problem where I used to scratch myself until I bled. My therapist said that most cutters are trying to physically manifest their internal pain/suffering. It's not a conscious thing though... he said that somehow our psyche's see physical pain (blood) as a validation of our internal pain.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006, 6:20 PM

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cutting if often experienced as tension relieving more than done for attention. I'm a psychologist, and alot of times I've found that cutters have had some kind of childhood abuse, but not always. It's important if it's for yourself or someone you know, to urge them to try therapy, to address some of the stressors that may be leading to cutting or other symptoms. cutting is a sign something else is going on--depression, anger.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006, 7:03 AM

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cutting yourself

I'm 12 years old I'v been cutting for 2 years. I just stoped about a month ago. No I didn't do it for attetion. I was going through alot of stuff . It was really hard time . So I found cutting my wrists ,legs,hips,and my stomach as a relif . It really helped alot. I was hospitlised for a few days because i had cut really bad at one of my low points. So ANYONE who cuts please try and stop, becuase once you start you really never stop.

Saturday, February 03, 2007, 10:39 AM

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Assuming that the above post is true, yes you can stop. I'm not saying it happens automatically or that you just grow out of it (though some people do), but there are many ways to refocus that energy. I am the 12 December 2006 poster and I haven't self-mutilated in almost three years. As you are a child, I don't think it's appropriate that I give you any direct advice, but please talk to you parents/guardian or a trusted adult about this. They will help you!

Saturday, February 03, 2007, 12:04 PM

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i know plenty of people who have/do now. i think there are a variety of reasons, from attention, to masachism and all sorts of other reasons. my best friend started in 7th grade (she still does it sometimes 7 years later, but far less) the explination she gave me then was that it gave her a solution for pain, when she cut she knew how to make it better, she could wash it and put a bandaid on it and watch it heal; it made her feel like she could do something, whereas she felt helpless to heal her inner/emotional pains. i know it seems like slightly twisted logic, but that was the way she explained it, and while i never have cut myself it kinda made sense to me. (in much the same way anorexics will stop eating because it gives them the feeling of control over something in their lives even if they can't control anything else)

Saturday, February 03, 2007, 6:06 PM

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I would burn myself with a lighter. It made the pain go away. I wish I never would have done it, I still have the scars over ten years later.
I think Dr. Phill had a show on this, the mother used cutting.

Saturday, February 03, 2007, 9:54 PM

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I did it in high school. For me it was a control thing. It made me feel powerful and in control when the rest of my life seemed too crazy. It was certainly not for attention since no else knew. When I tried to stop I found it very hard. I did a paper about it later in college and found that some researches say that the chemicals released in the brain when cutting are very powerful and can be addictive for some people. That's why it can be so hard to stop. It's not impossible though. I haven't done it in years and I never get the urge to anymore.

Saturday, February 03, 2007, 10:35 PM

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i used t do it too. only my best friend at the time knew the truth & the people that saw the cuts thought i was a freak/trying to kill myself/get attention...which was not the case. in fact i was embarrassed of it. i agree that for me it was away of taking the overwhelming internal emotions of depression/anger & turning them into something physical. unfortunately i don't how i "grew out of it"..i just decided that i wasnt going to do it anymore. now if only i could do that with eating sugar :)

Sunday, February 04, 2007, 8:37 PM

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I read that about brain chemicals too. Endorphins, to be precise. I've never cut but have thought about it. There's some of what everyone has said about the impulse (except the attention bit - if anything, I wouldn't want anyone to know). But also, physical pain is a distraction from emotional pain. And cutting, probably, is somewhat cathartic.

Monday, February 05, 2007, 10:30 AM

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cutting

all i have to say is i do it all the time and dont start cuz when u do u cant stop ppl think o it is cool it will make me popular but it dosent and u could die from it but it is fun 4 me cuz of the tast and the way it comes out but iv hade 2 get 10 stishes 1 time and let me tell u it did heart but i just cant stop :( but any how DONT DO IT ok un less u want to die or u just likeit the same way i do.......

:(p.s sorry if i spell any words wong i suck at spelling):

Saturday, March 17, 2007, 9:33 PM

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I have never cut but I know some that have had.. I too have tried helping them with one I was successful. we talked alot and she stopped. she realized she was worrying those arround her.

My take on cutting is sometimes a person is feeling a emotional pain so they cut to escape and to feel something else besides there emotional pain thats gurting them. the cut to drive that pain away and replace it with another pain that has no real meaning compared to the emotional pain. that is just My opinion and observations.

I would advise to never start cutting . because its only a temporrary fix to escape. once you come down from that pain. the emotional pain you cut to escape from will still be waiting for you. than you will have two types of pain and scars to deal with. the emotional ones, which you could seek help for by talking to a professional . they understand and deal with emotional situations with people everyday. than you will have the physical scars that will be there for a lifetime..

My gf asked Me you have ben through alot emotionally why have you never cut. I said because those scars dont go away and someday and I want to be a mother how could I explain My scars to My kids. so I found other outlets talking to friends. I also talked to My parents.. I also found other releases to put My emotions into music was a big one. I would put the music on loud and just dance and sing. sounds crazy but its a good release and its safe.

not trying to sound condescending and belittle the pain you go through that drives you to cut. I too have had My fair share of pain from My past, but I learn to face it and move on. I survived it. I didnt let it control Me and My actions. its not easy but you can do it too. take that first step and say the physical pain of cutting is only temporrary the emotional pain will still be there so dont hurt yourself for a temporary fix is what I use to tell her and it finally worked,but to all the others that havent started and have thought about it. there are other alternatives to escape. dont start cutting.

Sunday, March 18, 2007, 3:44 AM

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to S:38 poster. that movie is about a BDSM lifestyle and some find that hard to get, but it was avery good movie

Sunday, March 18, 2007, 3:47 AM

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I work in a facility that deals with several young girls with all different sorts of problems. It has been in my experience that while it has been used as an escape from emotional pain what fears me most is that I believe it is somewhat contageous. I have watched several girls pick this up as as coping mechanism and have spent long hours trying to prevent and change this spread. One girl described it best for me and in explaining so stated that while many judge her they do so inaccurately. She told me that the blood are her tears when she has none left to cry. It makes me feel awful to see her mutilated body with almost no area left unscarred. If you would like to find out more about it there is a book called "A Bright Red Scream" that is very graphic and speaks with real individuals dealing with this. To all that do or are thinking know that there are different coping mechanisms to use you just have to really try and untilize them. For those of you that have or want children pay attention to their friends. While this does not make someone a bad person by any means I do believe that it is contageous for some and have witnessed it first hand

Monday, March 19, 2007, 3:21 AM

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Not everyone cuts for attention. I haven't cut in 6 years and there isn't a person alove today who knows I used to cut (except whoever reads this - lucky it's anon). My goal was the more pain I could create with the least amount of show is the best. I discovered plenty of ways to cut and make myself hurt without showing too much. I also discovered ways to make the cuts hurt when I wasn't cutting. That way I had that pain while I was at school and work.
For those of you who say "don't start cutting' it's not that easy. You don't care what your doing because it hurts that bad you don't care how it's stopped. When I started cutting I didn't care who thought what about it, all I knew was no-one was taking that relief away from me and I would have hurt anyone who tried. But things change and now I'm a different person.

Link

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 5:02 AM

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12/12 12:26 Good for you!

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 7:07 AM

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cutting

I know a girl who cuts herself and she is in the 8th grade. She started cutting when she was in the 7th. Her boyfriend hates when she cuts herself. He tells her to stop cutting and she says that she will stop, but she doesnt. Her boyfriend doesnt want to break up with her, because he really loves her and he thinks that if he breaks up with then that would bring a lot of pain into her life and cause her to cut herself even more!!!! I dont know what to do!! She says it doenst hurt when she does it!! But it hurts me when i look at her arm!!

Monday, April 09, 2007, 10:31 PM

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cutting

my friend, Stacie, has a tiny cut about an inch (we are both twelve) and i'm so happy that i'm not the only friend on here i know a lot of ppl do it because of stress, depression, but i think she is only doin it to get attention. because caitlin, my friend stacie's ex-friend, heard stacie's boyfriend talkin to another girl saying,"stacie cuts her wrist" 1st of all it was a tiny cut 2nd of all it wasn't on her wrist!!!!!!!!! so when she told me she said i cut myself i'm telling u because u said it was for stupid ppl. so i told her straight out like a mom would i said,"i don't want to hear it ever again!" so i haven't talked to her seriously like "wats the matter with u r u doin it for attention" but i told her about wat the other 12 yr old that wrote in feb. 12 and i think i offended her but o'well maybe it will knock some sense in her!
So the next day at school i saw another girl that does it shes an aquaintance and i told her i thought that any1 that did it was out of their mind and agree with me! But she has anger issues.
That night i saw another aquaintance of mine and i saw her cuts! i didn't say anything. But i'm not making an excuse for her but i think she has depression issues cause one minute shes so hyper and having fun and one minute she ain't talkin to any1!
ANYONE THAT DOES PLEASE STOP YOUR NOT JUST HURTING YOURSELF YOUR HURTING EVERYONE CLOSE TO YOU!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007, 5:33 PM

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cutting.

i've just started cutting, three days now. i definitely don't do it for attention, i do it because i have pain, and it's a road i don't want to go down, but i think it might be a road that i have to, something i just need to figure out on my own. i told friend number one who was just suprised (because i recently broke up with my ex and the next day she got a boyfriend. she was acting so happy and i was still hurting so much, but i acted happy for her sake) because i always "seem happy". she didn't no how to respond and just sort of blew it off, not realizing the pain i was/am in. but it's more than just the break up, it's so many other things in my life, and things from the past and past hurt, and i've had other mental issues, so it's that too. so yesterday i told friend number two and she understood everything. she cut herself for two years for legitimate reasons, and recently stopped. everyone reading this who might have a friend who cuts or knows someone who cuts, please don't judge. if you think it's ridiculous for them to be harming themselves, then you obviously don't realize the kind of pain they're in. even if you might say "i don't need to know what they're going through, they need to stop", i am going to put it bluntly: watch your mouth. the other day my friend posted a bulletin saying "seriously, if you have problems, fix it. stop crying to everyone about it and cutting up your body". it made me so angry. and to the person above me, i know you might think that it's crazy for people to cut, but it's not. you just need to be patient with your friends and even the people you don't know. just show them you love them, not critizing them. and about the last sentence you posted, begging people to stop. let me just say now that that's not what people need. yelling at those who cut won't do any good, it's just making me want to cut more. my friend number two, the one who used to cut, said "people can't make others stop cutting. eventually [if there's no intervention] you come to a point when you either keep cutting or are going to stop. it's their choice; no one is able to make it for them. they make it in the right time". i agree. so to everyone, please don't judge, just show love and understanding. and to those who have friends who cut for attention, maybe they just act like it's for attention, but there is really pain. but many times it is just for attention, some people think it's "cool" to cut, well, if they've said they just do it as a fad, nicely explain that there are people who do it for real reasons, and that you're there for them to help them stop.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007, 9:53 PM

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This is a really interesting thread...I think there is often overlap between people who have problems with their weight or self-image and people who cut...there's a big difference between healthy exercise and cutting, though! I had friends who cut in high school and I started doing it in grad school...it helped me sleep. I would cut, wrap my arms up, and go to sleep. I hid the cuts from everyone and applied Neosporin, etc to minimize scarring. I had a whole routine--straight razors, Band-Aids, long sleeves. I was taking lots of anti-depressants, and they made me gain weight. I hated my body, and so I cut. Cutting relieved the tension about the anti-depressants, grad school, personal relationships, etc. My department is very small and the cutting was the ONE THING I could keep secret from everyone...who seemed ot be "all up in each other's business" all of the time.

I still hate my body, but now I'm in therapy and (embarassingly) my shrink periodically asks to see my forearms, where I did most of the cutting. I started cutting again two months ago, shortly before my 3rd suicide attempt.

It's really important, I think, for people who know about another person cutting, to try and help them in a way that makes sense...cutting can be any of a number of things: about control, about manipulating others, about relieving tension, or really about a kind of self-hatred that can lead to suicide. The best thing to do is try and get the person professional help--it's not something that I think most everyday folks can or should take on themselves.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007, 10:49 PM

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cutting

for the guy/ girl that posted their comment on wed. 9:53 i talked to my friend that cut and she said it was because of 2 guys that she like and she didn't know wat to do. wat she cut herself with is a piece of plastic and where she got it from was another friend and her friend said, "i'm gonna cut myself" so my friend grabbed it and cut herself! she did it to show her friend she could i know thats y this girl at our thats like the toughest, cuts herself! so she jus wantd to show shes tough i know it



Sunday, April 15, 2007, 2:56 AM

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When I first started using citalopram I had times when I thought about it, but the closest I ever came was badly scratching myself... After a couple of weeks the feeling passed.

I had a couple of friends that did it when I was at school, but I think that was more due to the example of the 'Manic Street Preachers" The original lead singer used to write on his arms with razor blades, and alot of people copied him...

S.

Sunday, April 15, 2007, 3:51 PM

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I'm not a teenager, and I used to cut. Adults do it too. Now I limit it to scratching deeply. The pain helps release the hurt in your chest when you're upset or depressed. It seems bizarre to those who don't or haven't done it. It works for some physical reason. I'm not depressed, I lead a very good life, have a wonderful fiance, beautiful house, college education, and perfect job. But sometimes it just feels good to get out that pain.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007, 11:26 AM

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cutting

ive been cutting myself for awhile now and ive attempted suicide five times anybody that has never actually cut themselves, probably wouldnt understand why people do it. sometimes it is just a desperate cry for attention but alot of times its just a way to vent emotions when you dont want to let anybody know how you really feel. when i cut myself, its a way to release all the pain that ive kept bottled up inside, how deep the cut is, depends on how depressed i am at the moment. ive tried stopping many times but its hard to stop once you've started. ive also been put into therapy and youth centers for counseling a couple times but as soon as its over, i go back to cutting because it just feels good to release those emotions in some way

Saturday, April 21, 2007, 5:59 PM

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I cut myself. For many reasons. But my biggest one is because i like it. I like the feelings of having cuts and scars in my arm. It makes me feel better about myself. I started about when i was 12. I stopped when my sister saw it and told my mom but i've been doing it again. I cut on my arms and legs. I feel as though it is hard for me to stop. I cant stop. I know i need to but i kinda dont want to. Im not trying to kill myself if it seems that way i just like to cut. Am i crazy? Ive done so much stupid things in my life. Like cut, drink, do drugs, lie, have sex and the sad thing about this all is im still only 14. I hope i dont get anyone mad by writing this.

Friday, May 04, 2007, 11:44 PM

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cutting

For the person above me your not crazy. I don't cut but i do scratch myself. I'm only 12. And I like the way it feels when i scratch myself. But you doing drugs and having sex doesn't suprise me with your age.


Sunday, May 06, 2007, 1:13 AM

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To the younger PT members- Please get help now, before your really get out of control of your life. Talk to a trustred adult who can help ou get in touch with someone who will truly help you. PLEASE talk to someone!

Monday, May 07, 2007, 12:25 PM

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Your not alone

I just wanted to say to u that u r not alone in how u feel. these feelings of pain and anguish are perfectly normal and anyone who tells u different has obviously never felt pain. You r not some kind of freak u just have these feeling deeper and longer than others. Always know however that there are better alternatives than cutting and they can be rewarding. just to let u know at least from me u will not be judged. u r only dealing with your pain in the ways that u know. but know that ppl love u and want to help.

Monday, May 21, 2007, 9:02 AM

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your not alone

the comment i made above this one was for the person who posted the information on april 11 at 9:53 pm. i hope u read it and know that im here to listen. God bless

Monday, May 21, 2007, 9:04 AM

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My daugher is 13 and some of her friends are doing this, it is very scary and I appreciate the info that has been posted here!

Monday, May 21, 2007, 10:19 AM

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make sure you are very involved in your daughters life and know who she associates with. I am the post that said I work with girls that have this issue and I do believe that it is very contageous

Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 2:12 AM

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Cutting

My names Jamie and years ago at the age of about 10 years old i first started cutting ... when i was 10 i only cut myself three times on my wrist with a razor and i did this over a guy and i felt like i just COULDNT handle it anymore and i didnt know what to do what so ever but then i thought about how some of my friends cut themselfs and as i hear it stops the emotional pain for awhile and so i decided to get a razor and cut myself -- which i did and to be honest, it did make me feel a whole let better but in ways it didnt either. After that i stopped cutting because it hurt and i didnt wanna go through that agian, and also it was very hard to hide from my parents so i decided to never do it agian. I didnt for awhile. Two years later i was in middle school and i had the greatest friends ever .. but then one day i found out a friend of mine had started cutting .... she also was cutting herself over a guy and so i thought nothing of it really but i did want her to stop because of course i didnt want her to get hurt and she was one of my great friends. So about a week after i had friend problems majorly and it was just depressing me so much and agian i didnt know what else to do. I thought about how my friend started cutting herself and then it made me think that i should cut myself and i was just about to go to ask to go to the bathroom in math class but then my friend started talking to me right then and we quickly became friends agian so i didnt go into the bathroom and cut. Later on that day my friend who i became friends with agian was riding home with me in my moms car because my mom was dropping her off and so then she tapped me and said " you swear you wont tell ANYONE else?? " and i sweared to her and then she turned her arm over and she had cuts all over her arm .. its like all you could see were cuts ... everywhere ... it was unbelievable but then she had influenced me to also cut .. so now i am cutting and have been for months and its hard to stop and all the time i just want a razor or needle or some very sharp object to cut with .. even if theres NO REASON at all ... its addicting and i just dont know what to do ...

Thursday, May 24, 2007, 7:01 PM

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you need to talk to your parents or a school counselor. You CAN cut TOO deep. If you dont care about yourself or those around you then continue to do what you do

Friday, May 25, 2007, 1:50 AM

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This is very sad. I had no idea.

Friday, May 25, 2007, 9:02 AM

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Feeling bad

Yeah, i dont know if its one in 25 or anything like that. But i do know that people cut themselves when they are feeling bad.

Friday, June 01, 2007, 12:31 PM

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I have done it in the past, although not to any extreme degree, and not so that anyone at all noticed. I haven't done it in years.

I think I did it because I am not good at standing up for myself or talking about my feelings. When I was mad at someone, I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want them to get mad back at me. So, I would take it out on myself to feel better.

Friday, June 01, 2007, 3:32 PM

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My god daughter came home from school on Tues with cuts on her arms, legs, abdomen and face. After initially stating it was a gang at school that did it and 3 hours with the police, she admitted that she had done it herself. Her parents took her to a psychiatric facility that night (which she agreed to willingly) but did not meet the criteria for admission and was sent home. She went back to school on Wed (her choice).

My husband and I are quite distressed. She ran away from home for one night last Dec. A straight A student until this year, she is now failing the 9th grade. We have urged her parents and grandmother to get her into therapy...these are cries for help and they are getting louder. But there has been no movement towards that yet.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.


Friday, June 01, 2007, 5:21 PM

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I know a few adults that cut when they were very young.

Every one of them (4 total) were molested as children. I can't help but wonder if there is a connection between the 2?

Friday, June 01, 2007, 5:37 PM

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Interesting, I cut in high school and I too was molested as a child...

5:21, I don't quite know what to tell you. If her parents won't help her there isn't much you can do. It's really sad but maybe she will just grow out of it like I did.

Friday, June 01, 2007, 6:56 PM

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Cutting

My names ashlynn and im 12 years old. I've been cutting sence i guess sence i was about 9 or 10. The reason i started cutting when i was either 9 or 10 was because of a boy. I got so upset that i couldnt have him and that he was totally in love with one of my absolute best friends. I was also influenced to do it too because my friend also would cut too and she said it was a way to deal with her emotions so one night i got so upset over that guy and i got a razor and cut 3 times across my wrists and it bled so much, but it made me not think of the guy and i just felt SO much better. It was very hard to try to hide it from my parents because i didnt know what else to use, because i didnt really have any wrist bands that would hide it so i had to use hair bows which were SO tight on my cuts and it hurt so bad because it felt like it was digging into the cuts. After awhile the scabs across my wrists went away and it was then just scars and still to this day you can see the scars, they have faded but you can tell its there if you take a good look. After awhile i stopped cutting as much as i did and after another long while i stopped cutting, completely and i thought to myself that i would never cut ever again because after i cut myself so much i would think about it and almost throw up, so then i knew or thought i knew that i would just NEVER do it agian. Well i stopped cutting completely for a year. Then i entered middle school, and so many things change in middle school and at the very end of 6th grade i found out that one of my friends were cutting and i was just absolutely shocked. I had never though about cutting for a whole year until i saw her wrists. Then i tried not to think about it because i didnt want to do that to myself anymore, but then one of my even closer friends started cutting herself and so it was SO influencing because i was always around her and she would carve hearts into her arm and i just thought it was so cute, i know that may sound wierd to people who dont cut but it was cute. So then one day i againn got stressed over a guy .... and i started cutting myself uncontrollably. I had scratches all over my arms, and so many of them. So many people found out about the scratches on my arms and i didnt know what they would think about it but i just simply told them i fell in a yard with alot of really big pinecones ( lol ) Some of them acually believed it but my very very close friends knew me better than that and they knew i did that myself. I asked some of them how they felt towards me sence they found out i did that and some of them said they didnt understand why i would do such a thing and that they didnt know how to act towards me anymore. I didnt like that my friends were acting different around me because i did that, i understood why they acted wierd but i just didnt like it so i tried stopping, and i promised some of them i wouldnt do it agian because they made me promise and i really didnt want to cut anymore anyway because i hated my friends being like that to me. I didnt keep my promise and till this day i still do cut, but now i do it almost everywhere ... my stomach, sides, arms & legs. I try not to let the ones who dont like me cutting to find out, but yet some of my friends do cut and dont act wierd towards me.

Alot of people absolutely dont understand why i do this and they ask me in person why i do it and theres always a simple answer really: It helps my emotions. Sure the emotions come back sometimes but sometimes they dont but when they do i can cut myself and it helps the emotions go away for awhile.

And also alot of people think people who cut them selfs do it for attention. Well that pisses me off so much when people say that but sometimes it can be true. Even though theres people who dont tell anyone they cut they still most likely and probably want people to find out about it so they can feel sorry for them and try to be really nice to them. To be honest thats a big reason why i did it too, for the attention, but for some odd reason it just pisses me off when people say stuff like " THEY CUT THERE SELF FOR ATTENTION, OH ITS A BIG CALL FOR HELP!! " If someone ever said that to me in real life and tried to fuck around with me, i would make there whole entire life HELL.

& people say that when you should cut yourself you should go to therapy. Ok i dont think so. The only way i would get to therapy is if i tell my parents, and if i told my parents they would treat me like absolute shit and they would be so disappointed in me and they would never talk to me and they would look at me weird and then they wouldnt let me hang around any of my friends because they would think i do it because they do because obviously i would have had to learn what cutting is from a friend. And then also, if i did get to therapy, they treat you like your physco and like your a little baby and that you understand little english so you have to talk like your talking to a very very little child. Kay .. hell no. i swear if i went to therapy and that person talked to me like that i would get up and beat the living hell out of them and then say be like yeah whos physco now bitch? Sure people who cut arent making a very responsible desicion but that sure as hell dont mean your a little child who can barely understand english. Also i would think if u continue cutting like that then someone would send you to the loony house and most people who cut arent loony, they just want a way to get rid of there anger or emotions. That pisses me off the most out of anything i know.

Anyway i just thought i would share that story with people to maybe help them out or understand the reasons why people cut or anything like that!!

Thursday, June 21, 2007, 1:24 AM

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I'm 24 years old and I started cutting myself when I was 16. Well, at least that's when it began. I'd sit in class and scratch down my arm with a pin over and over. I never knew why I did it but I was depressed at the time. I didn't do it again until I was 19 and have been doing it since. The only rationalization I can peg it to is that sometimes when you hurt so much on the inside you don't know how to fix it and yearn to make it stop. It is somewhat like channeling it through yourself physically because of the inability to get rid of it emotionally. I've never even dripped blood. It's always been just a small trace of blood, a welt and then the scar that forms later and doesn't go away. But that's all I need. Just the quick release I suppose. It's not severe, but it is there. Some people punch walls, some cut.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007, 3:44 AM

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THis "deep emotional pain" that many of the cutters talk of here has probebly been experienced by everyone at some point in their life. But not everyone has resorted to mutilating themselves. I think the difference is made between the people who respect themselves and the people who don't.

I remember feeling torn up about a boyfriend at 17. I was absolutely gone, and in the worst misery. I marched to my doctor's office and bawled in her office (she wasn't even there, it was her young assistant, who was speechless) about how I am soo depressed and nee medication for depression. I can't believe that I did it now, how strong my pain must have been. I would be to embaressed to do it now. Well, she gave me a month's worth, and in a month I was over it.

You know, sometimes it just takes some courage to help yourself. Don't be cowards who mutilate themselves in the privacy of your own rooms.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007, 9:01 AM

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Do you really think that calling people who need help and are dealing with problems in the wrong way cowards is going to convince them to stop? That is really insensitive. That's like calling people "fat ass" in the hopes that they lose weight, or calling someone "stupid" in the hopes that they study harder.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007, 9:26 AM

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Sounds like many of the people who say they have cut in the past (or present) do it to "release pain". Kinda interesting how that intersects with being overweight. The adage "it's not what you're eating, it's what's eating you" comes to mind. Seems like to me like there isn't much difference between cutting and being overweight - both trying to soothe pain - just in different (yet equally destructive) ways.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007, 1:04 PM

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Info on Cutting

I have heard the following facts from Dr. Drew Penske. Cutting often indicates former emotional/sexual/physical trauma so intense that the psyche protects itself by dissociating itself from it's environment. The victims experience periods when they become so insulated from there surroundings that their minds ignore the actual physical feelings of their bodies. This is a frightening and confusing state of mind for them and cutting is a desperate way to reengage with reality. According to Penske, the first two or three cuts typically result in no pain or feeling of any kind and the third finally begins to initiate pain which brings the victim comfort in knowing that they are once again engaged with the real world. (Dr. Penske is well versed in trauma victimization.)

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 6:50 AM

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Info On Cutting - That's very accurate actually. There's several reasons why people cut and you can't peg it down to one reason for all people. Not everyone is capable of handling pain the same way as everyone else. It's just sad to think that some perceive us cutters as cowards or attention seekers. That's not it at all. If you do know of a cutter, I think the best way you can help them is suggesting different ways to channel their pain. Talking, walking, writing, breathing exercises, anything. (Easier said than done though). Have faith in people!!!! :)

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 12:38 PM

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(from author of "info") Good point. There are always exceptions and I'm sure there are many reasons for cutting. I just remember hearing that info from a good source and passed it along. Everyone has there own story.
I'd like to add I resent people that assume they know the levels and intensities of other's pain by comparing it to their own. "If I can do it, they can." Everyone has their own experience and different resources to deal with them. If I've learned anything on this planet, it's "don't judge."

Thursday, August 09, 2007, 4:51 PM

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800-DONTCUT or www.selfinjury.com

this is a very serious, multi faceted subject. i am a social worker, just went to a training on it by a renowned dr. if you are interested in learning more about self-injury, there is a great book called "bodies under siege." there is a free help line also, 800-DONTCUT.

Friday, August 10, 2007, 11:39 AM

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wed. 9:01 am poster-- WOW

some people cut for attention, they are not usually the people that cut for a long period of time. there are other cutters that you would never know do it, because the last thing they want is attention. seems there are a few posts from people like that.

wed. 9:01 poster, it seems you have no idea what you are talking about. pick up a book and learn something before you spit out your uneducated opinions, especially when there are young people identifying themselves as self-mutilators. clearly they are feeling something different than your sad experience with your boyfriend.

from a psychological standpoint, your method does not usually work. medication alone does not heal problems. good for you that you got a quick fix. but this doesn't make you courageous and cutters cowards. obviously that wouldn't "cure" someone who self injures. and when these kids are mostly young, how do you expect them to march into the dr. office and demand some prozac? i find it sad that you are posting to judge these people, when your advice is not helpful. try and imagine how difficult it must be for these young , impressionable adults. the last thing they need to hear is that they are cowards.

there are also strong correlations between sexual abuse and self-harm. also, a correlation between eating disorders and self-harm.

Friday, August 10, 2007, 11:53 AM

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Aug. 8, 9:01 am poster would make a GREAT social worker or psychologist. "just stop! you're being a coward." OH, ok! Everything makes sense now, I just need to stop!" LOL

Friday, August 10, 2007, 12:01 PM

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Umm. yea basically. Just stop. What's so hard about stopping to mutilate yourself? Freaks.

Saturday, August 11, 2007, 10:24 AM

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My guess is it's as hard to stop cutting as it is for you to be a decent human being.

Freak.

Saturday, August 11, 2007, 12:21 PM

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10:24 is SOOOOO lost. Wandering through life following his/her nose, never looking under the surface of anything. Can you say myopic?

Sunday, August 12, 2007, 6:56 AM

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cutting yourself

What alot of people don't understand is that cutting becomes alot like an addiction. look at it like a drug addiction. Its not easy to just stop doing drugs. Its really hard to stop cutting. When a person is feeling so much pain that they can't control they some times channel that anger into cutting because that is the only pain that they can control. I'm not saying its right it is what it is. It is a habbit that a person should try their hardest to get rid of and quickly. It can cause you to want to progress to even worse things. alot of people think 'Oh im not doing it as a suicidal thing its just a way to deal with pain.' that may be true but when the cutting doesn't solve it then you begin to think of other things that you can do that are worse. You shouldn't label people who cut as freaks because they are just like everyone else. for all you know your best friend could be a "cutter" and you might not know it. some people can keep this big of a secret for years, but by labeling them as freaks it makes them feel like they can't come to you with everything and make them feel even more singled out than they already may be feeling. If you have any other questons or comments or just need someone to talk to feel free to e-mail me at j_wilson18@hotmail.com the only thing i ask is for you to put cutting as the subject other wise i might accidentally delete it.

Thursday, August 30, 2007, 12:15 AM

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Its not just cutting as a form of self mutilation. I have done that and when it became too noticeable, I just started picking the scabs off of like a cut or something that came about on its own through normal life. The result of this is scarring and it taking a month or more for something to heal. The thing of is that I don't do it because of an overwhelm of emotions, I do it because I will hear something on the news or something that I should feel empathy or something about but I don't. I have been too desensitized from life. I than cause myself physical pain to proof to myself that I can still feel.

Saturday, September 01, 2007, 10:43 AM

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hi

please email me cant really ralk now but i want to talk to you!!!

Friday, September 07, 2007, 7:11 PM

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All you people saying "why is it so hard to stop? Freaks" Well you can SHUT THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT UP!!!! I don't even cut and I never have but read what they write! It's a freaking ADDICTION THEY CANT FREAKIN' HELP IT SO UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT THE HECK YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SHUT THE FREAKING HECK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you are judgemental freaks for calling them freaks! They all have something wrong in their lifes that makes them cut! I'm not sayign that it's a good thing dont think i am but they all probably want to stop!
(and to all you that cut/used to cut, sorry if im making you feel bad but these people are really jerkish!)

Friday, September 07, 2007, 7:16 PM

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Cutting can be one of the manifestations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. A couple of years ago I discovered that my teenage daughters has OCD. I found out after the fact that when she was in middle school she had engaged in cutting behaviors and at the time was doing the thing where she picked at scabs so they wouldn't heal. She also had many other manifestations of the disease, such as compulsive hand washing. I've gotten quite an education about OCD over the last two years. My daughter is very fortunate in that the specific form of cognitive behavior therapy called 'exposure and response prevention' has been very successful in giving her the tools she needs to combat the OCD anxiety and compulsions. But there is no cure. It is common knowledge among middle school students that many of the students engage in cutting. I don't know if they all have OCD, but they all need professional help. It's about time that mental diseases are given the same amount of care and concern as any other disease.

Friday, September 07, 2007, 9:31 PM

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this is like Rosie breaking her arm as a child to get attention. Sad.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 5:27 PM

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I am a criminal defense attorney and I have represented hundreds of juvenile offenders and cutting was very common amoung the girls and homosexual boys. These kids ususually came from broken homes and lived in impoverished conditions. Very sad reality.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 7:35 PM

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I used to cut my fingers with a razor when I was in high school. It definitly was not for attention. No one knew and still don't know I went through that... It made me feel better to see blood, to feel pain. It took my mind off my emotional pain in a sense to feel the pain in my fingers. I didn't know then that it was a common problem. Of course, I no longer do it and couldn't imagine myself doing it now.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 11:37 PM

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yeah it is very common, i know alot of people who cut themselves. even i do, and people say that you can stop with help, but they dont know how hard it is, it dependz on how long u hav been doing it for, itz like a drug, addictiv, u hav sumthin to turn to wen ur down n angry.i have scarz al over my armz n belly, i even did a message tht filled the whole of ma arm from elbow to ma wrist in big letaz n ma arm waz pourin wiv blud.but it made me feel good, bcuz no1 else knew about it, ive bin doin it for years now n i dont think i will ever stop, so to the people who have never cut themselves who tell self harmers to stop, itz not as easy as 123stop, itz adictiv n once u do it a first tym, u cnt stop. my boyfriend knowz i cut myself to and he doesnt like it but i tel him tht itz juzt like him smokin, he cnt giv up juzt like tht, and itz the same wiv me. he sez stuf to me like wen u cut yaself, juzt remember, itz nt only hurtin u, itz hurtin me2, n tht made me cry n i tried to stop but i cudnt, i neva cut maself in frunt ov him n neva wil do, but im juzt tryin to giv ppl the msg tht u cnt stop juzt like that.

Monday, October 01, 2007, 7:17 AM

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yeah it is very common, i know alot of people who cut themselves. even i do, and people say that you can stop with help, but they dont know how hard it is, it dependz on how long u hav been doing it for, itz like a drug, addictiv, u hav sumthin to turn to wen ur down n angry.i have scarz al over my armz n belly, i even did a message tht filled the whole of ma arm from elbow to ma wrist in big letaz n ma arm waz pourin wiv blud.but it made me feel good, bcuz no1 else knew about it, ive bin doin it for years now n i dont think i will ever stop, so to the people who have never cut themselves who tell self harmers to stop, itz not as easy as 123stop, itz adictiv n once u do it a first tym, u cnt stop. my boyfriend knowz i cut myself to and he doesnt like it but i tel him tht itz juzt like him smokin, he cnt giv up juzt like tht, and itz the same wiv me. he sez stuf to me like wen u cut yaself, juzt remember, itz nt only hurtin u, itz hurtin me2, n tht made me cry n i tried to stop but i cudnt, i neva cut maself in frunt ov him n neva wil do, but im juzt tryin to giv ppl the msg tht u cnt stop juzt like that.

Monday, October 01, 2007, 7:18 AM

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your a good person. keep thinking that

Monday, October 08, 2007, 12:49 PM

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my opinion on cutting yourself is it is a very bad thing to get in to. so please dont do it. even i used to do it and sometimes still do but i dont do it because of sissy reasons like a boy. you do it because you try to take the pain away. and sometimes it goes away and sometimes it doesnt. it depends. but my opinion is dont do it. its really hard to get out of.

Monday, October 08, 2007, 12:52 PM

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cutting.

just lately i've started again, after starting about 2 years ago, and being on-off throughtout.
i'm 15.
many things have been said on this, but i'll just say my little bit.
i dont understand how some people do it for attention, and i think that's totally gross, why would you WILLINGLY cut yourself, just for attention? to get people to go, "aw, poor u?" .. or..? i dont know.
just like the advert on tv (in australia), about how about 80% of people in jail have been abused as children.
its true, though, things that affect you in childhood may unknowingly traumatise you in later years.
my dad emotionally abuses me, i've been subjected to it all my life because my mum and dad are split, and he's had no proper girlfriend/wife since (since i was about 3). and then at mums, i;ve got a stepdad who doesnt like me, and who i cant really stand either.

cutting is just a way to relieve emotions.
thats how i put it.

"make incisions to let trapped emotions escape"

what really freaks me out, though, is that what's going to happen one day when my parents find out, in the distant (or maybe even not-so-distant) future?


letiting me know any reactions (of family) would be good.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 7:05 AM

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well if you cut yourd\self then you have some head issues. Cutting your self to relieve your pain? doesnt that hurt more then emotional pain?

Monday, October 22, 2007, 9:07 AM

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You shouldnt cut. gauge your ears. its a version.

Monday, October 22, 2007, 9:37 AM

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Cutting

See the is that the people who do cut, usually aren't looking for attention. They don't go around all like "Hey! Look at my wrists! I cut!" I was just caught cutting, i try to hide my scars but one day it didn't work and really i don't see what wrong with it as long as you know what you are doing but people who cut aren't really looking for attention, they just need a way to vent from stress, fighting or problems that go on that they can't share with other people. And by the way for those of you who think it's a mental illniss, it's really not. There are people who can do far worse then cutting themselves. BUT what I just realized is that what you are doing hurts others around you and usually when your a cutter you have thought about suicide and in recent events i lost one of my good friends who i have known for a long time to suicide and EVERYONE that was friends with him is in pain because of his actions so i advise all of you to get help before you take it to far. Even though you say that you may not its still a good idea to get some help. That's what i am doing and I haven't cut for a couple weeks now. I know it's addicting belive me I do but you should stop what you are doing before you hurt your friends, family and anyone else who cares about you.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007, 10:20 PM

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Cutting

If you were to look at me you would think that girl is fine perfectly normal, and it would be true. But 4 months ago,you would have been so wrong.Im 13 years old and I have done it. Im a basketball player, in get straight A's I have tons of friends, but I was'nt happy. One day I cut to deep and didnt stop bleeding so I went to class. It bleed threw my t-shirt and got all over my homework. My teacher left up my selve to find a scared arm of cuts and on directly down the middle. Thankfuly I told my mom the day before. But she thought had I stopped.I had gone threw some much stuff since then talking to teachers counselors, coaches, friends,familys,doctors, and parents. I have stopped for about 4 months now I want to so bad. But when I did it i felt relief, but I needed it more and more. The more I did the more I found myself upset. up until I told someone I had thoughts of killing myself. But now they are gone and Im back to the way I was before I did it. Cutting had left permanted scars on me. and left me a few friends shorter.

Link

Thursday, November 15, 2007, 1:59 AM

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I used to pull my hair (trichotillomania) from the time I was 12 until about 39 - fairly compulsively although I had it under control more in my 30s. now, in my 40s I don't at all, which leads me to think it was based on puberty and hormone levels which are now ramping down again.

I also used to chew on the skin around my fingernails in junior high/highschool and they would bleed.

When you cut/hurt yourself, you probably release some healing hormones that make you feel good. There's probably also an internal sense of self loathing at play that makes you want to hurt or sabotage your appearance.



Thursday, November 15, 2007, 7:05 AM

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Addicted

I'm 45, female, have grown children, and have been cutting and hitting myself since I was about 10. After almost 12 years of not cutting and only occasionally hitting myself, I've started again. This has resulted in a psychiatric hospital stay.

Cutting, for me at least, causes such a feeling of relief from my emotional pain that I can't begin to explain it to someone who doesn't cut.

Even though I know that I cut because I was molested, abused, neglected, raped, and traumatized as a child it doesn't make me stop. The reasons make no difference to me. Emotionally the pain gets so great I HAVE to do it. I'm not seeking attention, I'm seeking relief.

After being released from the hospital I waited until the next day to restock my cutting kit. I lied to my family about going to work then I called in sick. Later I called and said I would be home late since the girls had asked me out to dinner. I lied so I could be alone with my non-organic "friends".

Driving to the store to buy the items I needed, I was excited and almost happy, I felt I couldn't get there fast enough.

I went to a secluded park and spent the next hour and a half cutting. It felt like It was ten minutes. When I'm in need of this it lets me go to another place where time in suspended and there are no worries or thoughts other than the pattern I"m making and how deep I can go.

There is no pain. The feel of the blade is actually nice. After a cut I sit and watch and wait for the blood to come up and run. This gives me a sense of being light and happy. Afterwards I can feel relaxed for a while.

After six hours I had to go home. I could have stayed for six hours more and it wouldn't have been enough.

Right now I have no desire to stop and get mad when I'm told there are other ways to cope with these emotions and memories. How can anything else compare? I'm addicted to cutting and don't care. I need it.






Sunday, December 02, 2007, 11:58 AM

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11:58 - I'm sorry you are in such incredible emotional pain. I wish I could take the little child you were out of that terrible home and into mine, and save you away from all of it. I would destroy the people who did that to you if I could.

Sunday, December 02, 2007, 1:24 PM

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That's a nice thing to say, but, please, don't feel bad for me. I do that enough. :)

Monday, December 03, 2007, 9:02 AM

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11:58-
You have brought me to tears. At least you're not shooting heroin or drowning in alcohol or abusing you own children (I hope). We all have our vices and we all have pain in our lives. You are not alone. We all have our ways of dealing with life (yours just happens to be very visual). It's up to us to search for the best possible ways of dealing. So, continue to cut, but at least be open to the possibility of other things (non-harmful/positive things) that can also give you that same happy feeling...and search those out, too.

Be good to yourself. You deserve it.



Monday, December 03, 2007, 11:39 AM

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I'd be wealthy if I had a buck for every time someone told me my kids are spoiled. When me and my sister where kids we would lay in bed at night and talk about how we were never going to treat our kids badly. Neither of us do. I kind of went above and beyond to make their lives too easy.

Example: When my oldest was 13 he was invited out to dinner with a friend and his family. At dinner that night he asked me to show him how to cut meat with a knife so he wouldn't be embarrassed. It was then I realized I was still cutting meat up for him. That was an eye opener.

Monday, December 03, 2007, 5:21 PM

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cutting

i am 13 i cut myself so bad i use a knife/ blade i make myself bleed i have 32 cuts on my arm

Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 5:32 PM

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cutting yourself

I have an adopted daughter that does the self mutilation. At first it scared me because I new very little about it. She has been cutting since the age of 13. She is now 16. A girl at her school told her about it and that is how it started. She has severe depression issues along with a long list of others. It starts out with a few surface marks and goes into larger and deeper cuts. A few times we had to pay the emergency room a visit. She limited the cutting and started to burn herself. Her arms, legs are scarred. It's very difficult to deal with but we have learned to deal with it like it's an everyday thing because the more you make an issue about it the worst it will become. It becomes the focus point and that is not what you want.

Monday, January 07, 2008, 7:35 AM

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cutting yourself

hi my name is megan and i cut myself i have been hospitalized 45 times for the same reason cutting myself when i go to the hospital they say who is it megan and they ask me why i did this and i just say i was bored and very depressed. i cut myself at school, home, even on the bus 2 school

Wednesday, January 16, 2008, 6:49 PM

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CUTTING

Well, i cut myself 15 times in the past 2 months and my parents found out beacuse i didn't hide it...i go to school and walk around with cuts on wrist like it was nothing. My parents thought it was a cry for attention when it wasn't! i did it beacuse what i was feeling! i like that i have depression but i don't know. Nobody know anything! My parents forbid me to be with my boyfriend they know that i really love him and they don't want us together. That is one the reasons why i did it but not really...i mostly did beacuse my parents don't have to hear what i have to say and they just shut me out and that hurts alot. I've been hurt so many times in my life and i think that why i turned to cutting myself.....i never though i woukd get to that point but now....my parents just say if you do it again im gunna send you away! i STOPed but i have really bad urges andi don't know what to do!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008, 8:27 PM

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not everyone punches or cuts Lot of us did get through our teen years ok

I too hadn't even heard about this until a few years ago. I though Why in the world would someone do something so stupid to theirselves. It really does have a lot to do with self confidence, body image, and of course usually is started in young teen girls. I know it was a little difficult adjusting as a teen in school but I did it without ever doing this and Plan on helping my children to feel secure and confident with themselves. my kids are only 2, and 4 now but even at this age they thrive off of feeling self confident and we help them feel great about themselves. If we all get educated about this maybe we will recognize signs before it comes to this. I sure hope so

Wednesday, January 23, 2008, 10:53 AM

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YOU ARE NOT AND ACCIDENT

This is for all the posters that have been cutting.
"you are not an accident. your birth was no mistake, your life is no fluke of nature. God has planned YOU. He works through our own human error. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck that you are breathing. YOU ARE ALIVE BECAUSE GOD WANTED TO CREATE YOU. God made you so he could love you. This is a truth you can build your life on. " from the book What on earth am I here for. You can get help. and put this all in the past. End the cycle of hurting. You aren't alone. He is with you. I read that in my book and it just seemed to speak to me about this thread after I had read it. That can be the turning point To SPEAK OUT and ask for help. Stop hurting and start Healing.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008, 11:07 AM

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My take on self mutilation

I think the general consesus is that cutting is mainly limited to females or the "emo" crowd. Both males and females of all kinds or genres can be victims of the addiction of cutting or self mutilation. I am a 21 year-old male who listen to hip-hop music and dresses accordingly, and unfortunately I have had instances of cutting and burning spread out over the past four years. It is an addiction. I knew the cause the first few instances; I was at the start of a very rough break-up and my life at home was far from stable, and I let everything build up inside of me instead of trying to talk about it to somebody. Somebody had told the guidance counselor at my school that I had intentions of hurting myself, and I had to see a specialist about the issue for a few months afterwards. I thought it was over then.

But it wasn't. The urge to hurt myself sneaks up on me without warning; and before I know it, I am bleeding or holding a hot screwdriver or lighter against my skin. The feeling I get when I wake up the next day and see what I have done is worse than the feeling I get when I decide to hurt myself. My arms look horrible, covered in lines and scars from cuts and burns. I can't count how many times I have met a new person (I am currently a student at a major university, so this happens pretty often) that they see the scars and ask what happened or how many times I've noticed people notice the scars and become uncomfortable. I've word long sleeves in the middle of the summer to hide them, which makes people suspicious.

My point is this. If you are somebody who is considering hurting themself to relieve emotional pain, or somebody who has recently started to or even somebody who has been doing this for a while and is reading this .... Please stop. Because I would give anything to go back in time to all of the instances that I've caused harm to myself and not do it. It is not worth it. If you're depressed, cutting yourself will only make it worse; you'll become depressed everytime you look down at your arm or leg or wherever you leave scar.

Thursday, January 24, 2008, 11:51 PM

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im a thirteen year old girl and i cut myself...im not suicidal it just calms me down...its not an important thing to press on,we all have our ways of dealing with our emotions,plus its our lives we are allowed to make desions that might npt be good but noone can change your mind


xXxGETxOVERxYOURSELFxXx

Friday, January 25, 2008, 6:08 PM

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I did in my early teens. Severe depression and the lack of ability to change my enviroment led to it. It made sense at the time. When I left the situation I was in, it never dawned on me to cut myself ever again. It is actually pretty common with troubled teens in abusive homes.

Monday, January 28, 2008, 8:03 AM

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Cutting

Im 18 now and i started cutting myself 2 years ago. up untill now i didnt know the real emotional reasons for it but it really helped me when i felt deppressed and its no way for attention or any of that because i always hide it and only the people that read this will know. After reading the comments on this page it makes me feel really like im not as alone as i thought and i think it can be a really hard thing to describe.
i always feel guilty after but it really helps and i dont want to stop. its getting deeper and im starting to get worried.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 8:32 PM

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The thing about getting some help is, your therapist can help you find alternatives for handling your emotions and getting yourself the release you need. She won't deny your feelings, just help you identify alternatives for your actions. I know, I've been there.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008, 10:50 PM

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even if some people recognize they have issues and need help, therapy is expensive.

being low-income and dealing with borderline personality disorder, my fiance sometimes turns to cutting in very very stressful situations. he has a terrible scar across his chest because of an incident.

it's terrible, and i don't personally understand the drive to do it, but sometiems it seems like theres no alternatives. therapy aint an option for some people.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008, 12:47 AM

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i have been cutting since i was 12 i'm now i'm 15. to say get help from your parent/cargiver is not helpfull. i once tried to tell my parents what was going on and they didn't help me. i finally told my music teacher what was going on and she told the school counsellor and made me go to her. i really love my music teacher and i'm so thankfull to her cause now i might get better.

cutting is so addictaive so it doesn't help to say just stop it. i have many issues relating to school and parents which make me cut

Thursday, May 22, 2008, 4:00 AM

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Please don't do this to yourself. Is there no one in your family you can talk to when the councelling is over? I know as people always say i don't understand as i don't do it myself. But my sister has been and we are like twins and i hate that i don't know what she is going through. She told me she always thinks about killing herself and the ways she could do it and the only reason she doesn't is because it would hurt me so much. She says she wishes she would just get killed and then we wouldn't blame her. She told me she just wishes she was little again and that she feels numb inside and it is the only time she feels. I read her diary as i am a bad sister as she says and she wrote that death would be a long awaited rest. I don't know what to do to help her and my parents know about the cutting but not how she wants to die. I don't want to tell them to ruin their lives. Can anyone going through similar things please suggest help and if anyone needs someone to talk to i am here. Thanks

Friday, May 23, 2008, 9:57 AM

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cutting yourself

i cut myself sometimes when i just feel like no one is there to talk to about things. my best friend knows that i do and the only reason she knows is becuase she does to. i started last year. i stoped for a while but started again. i dont think it is that bad as long as you dont cut deep enough.

Friday, August 08, 2008, 9:06 PM

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i am 15 years old. i play field hockey basketball and lacross. most people think of my as always happy. but i am on the outside i am happy and great at sports. but i chose to hide all my feelings. i only tell one single person everything and thats becuase i feel she is the only one that understands me. but she is also the person that brought cutting into my life. yeah i knew about it befor she became my best friend but she started so i thought it was a good way to get rid of my pain cuase it seemed to work for her. some people found out i cut myself but i have told them i stoped. but i havent i still cut myslef. i dont know when i will stop

Friday, August 08, 2008, 9:15 PM

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I cut myself once and will never stop regreting it. I did it becuase I was going through a hard time and made bad desicions and wanted to punish myself. Everytime I see the scars I wish I could go back and slap myself in the face. If you're doing it becuase you feel bad about yourself, this will not lead to any reconciliation of those problems. I hide the scars every time I make love to my husband and as a result our love life suffers, not that he doesn't understand but I'm so ashamed of having done it. I never want to be caught dead in bathing suit. I don't hang out in shorts. I'm always scared of the scars showing.

If you know anyone who thinks about cutting as a release for their emotion pain, refer them to someone to talk to, becuase it is never never never worth it.

Friday, August 08, 2008, 9:31 PM

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Addicted

I'm 45, female, have grown children, and have been cutting and hitting myself since I was about 10. After almost 12 years of not cutting and only occasionally hitting myself, I've started again. This has resulted in a psychiatric hospital stay.

Cutting, for me at least, causes such a feeling of relief from my emotional pain that I can't begin to explain it to someone who doesn't cut.

Even though I know that I cut because I was molested, abused, neglected, raped, and traumatized as a child it doesn't make me stop. The reasons make no difference to me. Emotionally the pain gets so great I HAVE to do it. I'm not seeking attention, I'm seeking relief.

After being released from the hospital I waited until the next day to restock my cutting kit. I lied to my family about going to work then I called in sick. Later I called and said I would be home late since the girls had asked me out to dinner. I lied so I could be alone with my non-organic "friends".

Driving to the store to buy the items I needed, I was excited and almost happy, I felt I couldn't get there fast enough.

I went to a secluded park and spent the next hour and a half cutting. It felt like It was ten minutes. When I'm in need of this it lets me go to another place where time in suspended and there are no worries or thoughts other than the pattern I"m making and how deep I can go.

There is no pain. The feel of the blade is actually nice. After a cut I sit and watch and wait for the blood to come up and run. This gives me a sense of being light and happy. Afterwards I can feel relaxed for a while.

After six hours I had to go home. I could have stayed for six hours more and it wouldn't have been enough.

Right now I have no desire to stop and get mad when I'm told there are other ways to cope with these emotions and memories. How can anything else compare? I'm addicted to cutting and don't care. I need it.






Saturday, September 13, 2008, 4:27 PM

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So what do you want from us?
To me, it sounds like you've got everything that you want.

I mean obviously you need some kind of help and I think you know that you do, but you aren't willing to admit to that. Until you do admit that you need help, there's nothing we can do for you here except offer you some platitudes that probably won't do much good because it won't compare to what you were describing.

Best wishes.

-buzzard


Saturday, September 13, 2008, 5:01 PM

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cut

I have freinds who cut themselves they try to hide it but i have noticed. I havent metioned anything because it just started and i think maybe they will stop soon, dont want to go their parents because they over react. I will try to talk to her if she keeps it up but she doesnt talk about things like that. Sh retreats when she doent want to talk. I she doesnt want to talk about it you wont get it out of her what do you think i should do.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008, 7:38 PM

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Are you in school with her? It would be great for her if you could mention it to a teacher or counselor, and they have to keep it confidential. I had a really good friend do this for me when I was in school (I didn't find out it was her that helped me util we were adults) and I am so glad she did. Your friend is unlikely to stop on her own.

And it's weird that the 'Addicted' post was reposted.... it was originally posted in Dec. 07. Buzzard, I understand your bluntness, but it's unhelpful. If you don't have anything nice to say.......

Thursday, October 09, 2008, 12:20 PM

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Then hush up:-)

-buzzard

Friday, October 10, 2008, 2:15 PM

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You got it, doll. Cutting is hard tpo stop - I haven't in about 8 years, but it's hard still, and weird as it sounds, I miss it, all the time. I didn't want to stop but I knew I had to because it wasn't healthy or safe. I had kids, that's what stopped me.
It must be very difficult to understand if you've haven't been there.

Saturday, October 11, 2008, 12:19 AM

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My story

Im 13 year old girl.and well ive read about mostley everything everyone had to say. cutting is bad. i really do understand what people go threw because im always urging myself to cut. Ive cutted my self about 2 big times. and most of the time. Im just hurting myself. hitting the wall so hard. Getiing bruises from falling. Everything i read. I felt like most of the storys were way by far. from my situation. Im always the person to feel like killing myself. hanging myself. hurting myself. Its so hard to live in this life of mine. My problem isisnt as worse as other people have it. thats the thing that makes me thing right now. I should be hurting myself. But i cant help it. because im happy whether im dead or not. mostley dead. i could care less. EVERYONE around me always hates me hates me hates me its always doing with my freaking family. They made me hate my life so much, to the point were i really dont care. i seriously dont. and no way. their gonna change that. They yell at me for the dumbest things, they hit me for the dumbest things, & even when its not my fault. ITS my fault ! they make it so hard for me to think positive about myself. I could be such a better person. i try so hard so so hard. to think better without them. but i cant. Im always getting all the yells. screams. and lectures. and hurtings. Its really funny though. because no matter what i try to do. like get good grades. iTS nothing. no one cares. all they want is to scream yell. and try to find something wrong with me. they honeslty have no idea how i feel. They could care less. and when i cry. My mother always like why the F&%& are you crying for. SERiOUSLY what the f&^* type of mother are you. I love my family. I tend to say i hate them. But they have no reason for me to love them. beside the fact that im still here living in the peice of junk. Everyday im always thinking about. what if i was never here. i should of never been born. no one see the struggle they only see the struggle. No one understands nothing! period. i just wished something good would happen, and change my life around. So i can think good of myself. When i go to school , no one see;s nothing they think im so perfect. i have a good life. but really? do they know what im going threw. I couldnt possibly have no one , that knows me understand me. NO ONE! not even one of my bestfriends. really though. I call them my bestfriends. but they dont know anything. So really im on my own. I just cant wait for that day . were ill be free. and away from everyone and everything. Theirs more to that to. Sometimes i even get hit for no reason. I got my head bangged to the wall. for something my sister did. I got hit by a knife. belt. wood. metal. anything u could imagine. just cause they thought i did something. & guess what the something was. Cutting my cousin hair? when i was a little girl that happen to me. Can you believe that. I had to rub lotion all over my whole entire body. and you know whats so (*&(^&(^(&^(&(*& worse. My family knows i love killing. i love all that death stuff. yet . they always make fun of me. they dont care. Watch when the next day im on the floor dead. Will see what their faces are now. How their gonna react. WAIT! they dont care right. well then maybe one day that might happen. I KNOW IKNOW. what everyones gonna say. Your so small , Your so stupid for thinking that way. ! maybe cuhs you never been in my shoes you would probably feel stupid too! all this hatred and screaming yelling all over the house. EVERYONE though needs me im like a servent in the house. I serve evryone they dont know it . bcause their always the one telling me to do eveything. even when my brother and my sister are free handed. OMFG. their to much. I could care less. It just feels goood. Ive stopped. i guess. But doesnt mean everyday i think about it. Im done with this. all i have to say is. Other girls should do this. If i could think better of myself. I would stopped just to let all of these little girls or at my age to stop what their doing. and think better of them selves. I have god. and you have god! maybe thats all we need in this world. If nobody else is their for us. thank you. peace&love;]

Saturday, October 18, 2008, 10:32 PM

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Hey PP,

What can we do to help you?

-buzzard

Sunday, October 19, 2008, 2:35 PM

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Im with buzz PP were here .. if you need to talk, vent but sounds like you could seek some professional help.. is there a close friend that you coud turn to and let themknow what is going on with your life.. everyone deserves to be loved and treated right. your not a punching bag. reguardles what you do or dont do that upsets your family. thats abuse.
Im proud of you for realizing you are worth it to stop cutting and to take care of you.
I wish there was more I could say to help you, but just remember you are a unique human being. your special and you deserve to be treated as such.

hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
*lynneta*

Monday, October 20, 2008, 12:15 AM

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Hey PP (My Story author)

I am so sorry you're hurting, I know what that is like and it sucks! Your family is messed up, but you're strong, I can tell by your words, and you're going to get through this. It seems like forever now, but as soon as you're 18 you get to make the decisions and get out of there. You get to make your life what you want it to be, anything you want it to be, because of or in spite of how you had to grow up. Find someone you trust, not your friends because you're right, they're not goning to get it. How about a teacher? School couselor? If you don't know the school counselors it's okay, because sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know. If you choose to be strong, and ask for help, you will get through this. You will, and you will be so amazing for making it through. Let us kow how you're doing.

xoxo,
Pink314

Monday, October 20, 2008, 3:49 PM

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I had a girlfriend who started cutting herself in front of me one night when we were drinking (our first night together all night), and I was aware of cutting before but had not experienced it firsthand and assumed she was trying to get attention, but then it quickly dawned on me she wasn't even aware she had been doing it in front of me until enough blood came out she had to get a towel. Of course, she was an emotional wreck, but luckily I was good with her and she trusted me (a powerful combination), so I was able to get the story out of her that she had been gangraped by neighborhood boys when she was like 13 or something, and she had a lot of issues from that still, and had a young daughter she was frightened for, but she had shut out that past for so many years (she was in her late twenties), any time that a memory came to her she felt numb about it, and she thought it was wrong to feel numb, and cuttting herself made her feel SOMEthing. I did a lot of research after that and worked on makin sure she saw a therapist about the past trauma, but then worked on her myself on getting her to keep a log on what things in her life acted as triggers that made her want to cut--it very much can easily become an addiction and needs to be treated as such (together with dealing with the root emotional causes that started it in the first place). She's fine now. I have a new girlfriend with scores of scars up both arms that are very old (she says 20 years)--she had been abused when she was a teen (she's now 37) and was a runaway. I think it made her feel alive. I think she "grew out of it," mostly by getting jobs on her own and turning her life around on her own, which gave her confidence and a sense of life that was not all abuse or hardship.

My fresh concern from this forum is this, and it may be somehow related/similar: a 12 year-old cutter does not concern me any more than a 12-year old obsessed enough with dieting and fitness to be on the boards at PeerTrainer (unless they simply found this thread through Google).

Finally, Sia has a beautiful song about her cutting years, "Breathe Me," made semi-popular by closing out the final 8 minutes of the brilliant HBO series, "Six Feet Under." Hers' a great live cut from an appearance at a radio station, complete with cellist (you have to listen throught the final seconds of a different song at the start of the video): http://www.nyctri.com/Training/Tri_Clubs.htm


Tuesday, October 21, 2008, 3:13 AM

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Oops - had a different link in my cut-and-paste memory (no pun intended). Here's the vid for the Sia song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9ncUQ-Vfjg

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me; I am small
and needy. Warm me up
and breathe me.

My main point, backed up by the Sia lyrics, is that dismissing a cutter as simply seeking attention is not only almost always wrong, but is liable to drive a cutter away from you. Psychologically, subconsciously, they want attention, yes, but they are not likely cutting to attract attention--even though it is probably the case that lack of supportive, loving, understanding attention led them to cut in the first place. There IS a distinction. Rather than treat them as a drama-queen, freak, or someone who simply needs someone else's help, be caring, supportive, and try to get them to talk to you, and you listen. Be the kind of friend you wish you had in your worst moment where you felt lost and helpless in your life. Steer them in the direction of a therapist, but have honest, truly understanding hugs first. If this means you have to study the issue first, then get busy! Then again , a lot of you already have experience at being a supportive friend right here in PeerTrainer. Keep it up!

And for those of you cutting, whatever you're feeling -- or not feeling -- things can turn around if you will them to. Put your heart and soul and mind into setting up some kind of game plan to change your life around. Simply by the fact that you're not dead provides optimism to seize control of your life--not by inflicting damage on yourself (or upon others), but by showing a defiant middle finger to what may have once seemed like your only destiny:

"Pain and misery don't end the world. Nor despair or f***ing beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you've got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man ... and give some back." -- Al Swearingen, HBO's "Deadwood," who starts by taking this to mean taking and dishing out violence, but slowly comes to understand that life can be so much better when you start strategizing against the odds of the poker hand life deals you.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008, 3:54 AM

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I used to cut, for many years actually... I did it to release a lot of pent-up horrible feelings that I could not get out of myself in other ways. I always made sure to do it in places that I could easily cover up, though, so no one would find out. (Real self-injurers do NOT do it for attention.)

For me, it's something that's out of the acute phase, but never gone from my life altogether. Once in awhile I do still cut, for a variety of reasons. Often I will also choose other methods of self-destruction (bulimia, restriction, etc) which is like a "replacement" of sorts for the cutting.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008, 5:11 PM

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So i understand what that little thirteen year old is going through.
my family is the same in some ways. They like to find a way to blame me for whatever has happened. They yell and scream in my face all day everyday.
My 17 year old sister likes to "beat me up" we ALWAYS get into fights over the smallest things. She bangs my head aginst everything she can. Every corner, wall, counter EVERYTHING. I cut myself. a lot. and i honestly dont plan on stopping any time soon. When i was 12 my grandpa thought that it would be funny to "f*ck with me." He touched me for weeks until he moved to Ohio. But now hes back but he doesnt do it anymore. I started cutting myself in 6th grade. I didnt know what i was doing but i liked it so i continued to do it for three years. When i first found out that my mother has been on drugs my whole life and my father couldnt pay the bills. so we had no water or electricity, we had candles everywhere.
My parents didnt get along. They always fought and many times the cops were called.
Im in 9th grade now and im 15 years old. i live with my sister and my grandparents. Im also like the slave of the house. i do the dishes everynight and im the one who has to clean the bathroom and the floors. while my sister sits on her butt all day and does nothing. The funny thing is...SHE GETS ALL THE CREDIT FOR IT! When they get home from work they say Nice Job and give her the money for it.
Then when i say i was the one who did it they tell me to shut up and go sit in my "emo" corner.
Thus the cutting.
Im not saying i have a horrible life and many people have it much worse but reading her story made me wanna share mine.
Some people say that cutters cut for attention...thats bull crap to me because a true cutter will not go around showing their doings.
I do not do it for attention.
I tried to get help and when i did all my family had to say was
"that looks like sh*t"
I am VERY suicidal and i wanna kill my self everyday but i dont wanna die?
confusingi know but thats the way i am.
I dont have a lot of friends because most left me when they found out about my habbit. They didnt want nthing to do with me.
so i moved to a new school and no one here knows. and thats how i plan to keep it.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008, 11:57 PM

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I feel so bad for you. I wish that i could come hug you & take you away. Just remember...you are in the hardest part of your life right now. you are under the control of many others. It will get better when you graduate, get a decent job & get on with a better life. That will come with time & your perserverance. Just hang in there. Life will get better.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008, 12:11 AM

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sad, but true...

I walked in on a friend two years ago in the act of cutting. She was drunk and crying and saying she just couldnt take it anymore. At the time we lived in dorms for school and i really didnt know what to do. If i went and got someone she could be kicked out or worse, but if i did nothing she could potentially do worse later when i wasnt around to stop her. I threw her in the shower while i gathered my thoughs on the situation and noticed she was being extra quiet when i peered behind the curtain to check if she was ok she had found a razor in the shower and was continuing what she had started. She was not cutting deep enough to where it would have killed her, but "enough to take her emotional pain away". I went and told the staff in charge and they got her help. She is now in school for nursing to help others that may be struggling. it was a long ordeal for her to over come and a very serious issue. I was scared out of my mind when faced with a good friend that i had no idea had an issue at all. She later told me thank you for caring and getting her the help she needed.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008, 3:51 AM

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cutting

i cut on and off for like a year but one time i did it pretty bad and my friend found out. she told the school counselor and she called my mom. my mom freaked and put me in counseling but i was able to talk myself out of it. i told her a bunch of stuff about how i would never do it again. but it got around to a bunch of my really close friends and i ever since i feel like a few of them try not to associate with me.

Friday, December 26, 2008, 7:07 PM

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cutting...

I've cut myself, actually..still do. Im 15 years old, started cutting at the age of 13. I was never an obsessive cutter and it wasnt something i did on the regular (except when i 1st started it was kinda daily). Part of me wants to tell my parents cause i realized that its not good and can be life threatening. It all started with one simple cut because i felt unloved and rejected by my mother (she was/is verbally abusive). I never attempted suicide although i've thought about it. Because i did it once and nothin happened, i figured i'd do it again, not for attention but because i felt like it helped relieve the pain and also in my mind it was my way of getting back at them, punishing whoever hurt me when all im really doing is hurting myself. Soo as a teen i go through lots like having to deal with school, home and....boyfriends. I've cut myself twice over a guy. Also in my head after i cut myself over someone i feel as if your done to me, like one cut for everything you've went through with that person. Idk...it doesnt really make sense now that i think about it but i find myself in a deep darkness. My cutting results from my emotions which is when my obsessive thinking occurs. For example: You and your boyfriend are over and you blame yourself for it, you feel like your in love or "in deep like" with that person and you dont know if they feel the same. So you start thinkin about how its your fault. And if he/she feels the same way. Then you start thinking they dont feel the same way, so you start to get angry but mixed with feeling sad/depression. Its like putting two and two together not really knowing that its four but making acccusations. When you plant that assumption in your head you think you've got it all figured out when your math could really be wrong/off. You really start thinkin and jumpin to conclusions that they really didnt like you, they played you, or your upset cause they told you that they'd always be there. Once my mind hit overload thats when cutting comes in. I've fought it sometimes but when i over think somethin and my emotions are workin overtime strongly i start to fight it in my head but end up losing. Get the knife while crying, not really wantin to do it but feelin its the only way to cope. Still thinkin about how you ended up there with a knife in ya hand...in the bathroom,...crying! Once you realize why/how you got where you are you slice yourself. Pouring tears, drawing blood. If your really angry or feeling rejected you'll do two, or three, sometimes even four. After i do it i feel relieved but when i see the blood i feel horrible. Its hard for me to talk about cutting, i get all choked up and even looking at the scars bring back memories. I know its not right and that i need help but i just dont know how to tell my parents. smh...life is somethin...

Monday, December 29, 2008, 7:46 PM

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Cutting

My friends call me NahNa, Im 22 years old and i started cutting when i was 15. It wasnt something that i just decided i wanted to do... it was a random act of rage and pain. I am a Lesbian, and it all started when i got home from school one day to find that my mother had went thru my things... she found a note from me to a friend talking about my sexuality. Not only was i hurt that my mother went thru my things, but i was angry because she left the letter laying on the kitchen counter for the world do see, and over the letter in big red letters wrote " IS THERE SOMETHING YOU NEED TO TELL ME". I was feeling a large variety of emotions at this point and i ran to the bathroom crying... I didnt know what to expect when my mother got home from work and i was terrified of what my father would say. I began rummaging thru the drawers and the medicine cabnet which is where i found the razors for my dads shaver. I sat there for a moment just staring at the blade in my hand and it was like i blacked out... the next thing i knew there was blood dripping from my wrist. But shockingly enough, it had calmed me down... it had cleared my mind... and for a moment i felt a lot better. I never intended to do it again, but the next time i got upset... i remembered how i felt the first time i did it... and i decided to try it again... and again it made me feel better... its like all of your problems just escape your body with the blood flow. I know that cutting is bad, i know that im hurting myself, and i know that it hurts the ppl around me who know that i do it... But i cant stop. Anytime i get upset i feel the need to cut myself because i know it will take away the pain or anger or whatever other emotion im feeling. I want to stop tho... i just cant... Theres so much more to cutting than ppl realise... and yes it is a shameful thing, that most of us dont like talking about... we dont do it for ppls attention... I cant speak for anyone else but for me... cutting is all about taking back control of my life... being able to control my emotions and ease them whenever i want... cutting to me is about reminding myself that this life im living, these feelings im feeling, the thoughts im thinking are real... that its all apart of my reality, and my scars... i love my scars... they remind me that the past is there and was very much real. The girl im in love with wants me to stop, and i want to stop, but her and i are having alot of issues right now as far as actually being able to be together... theres just so much standing in our way... its making it really hard to even try and quit... the urge is ALWAYS there... What can i do?

Friday, January 30, 2009, 10:58 PM

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i just recently cut myself for the first time. I'mso confused about why I did it and don't think ill ever do it again. I told my mom right away and she is proud of me for it. I'm going to get conseling and my grandma thinks the reson is because im such a perfectionist and have had a lot of stress with life and school. I feel stupid for doing it. but now I have the so what feeling because I know that it was dunb but i won't do it again. I'm just afraid people will judge me and that ill have scars for a long time.

Sunday, March 29, 2009, 5:35 PM

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Why would you even think of it as a solution though?????
Why? Also, didn't it hurt?????
Who said this is a solution?
It's like being thirsty and to deal it you go to the hair salon. Weird...
The media is to blame here i think.
Be strong and you will get over it...

Sunday, March 29, 2009, 8:00 PM

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I am not a cutter so I am no authority to talk about this, but I have a friend who had the cutting obsession. Now her scars are often itchy. I guess that is a better outcome than that she accidentally cut too deep and did worse damage. But it's just another lingering effect that's not so great.

Sunday, March 29, 2009, 11:21 PM

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I am getting over it and I know I won't do it again. i did because i've heard so much that it helps with stress and I wondered if it would for me. I won't forgive myself for awhile but i've already started to forget about it. I'm to the point that I'm like so what I did it it was stupid and i'll never do it again. :-)

Monday, March 30, 2009, 4:00 PM

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hello, i am 13 and i started cutting when i was 12. it was not an attention seeking thing as my mom was ann alchaholic and it was very hard for me at home. i also had an "eating disorder" as they said. i was an A sudent but soon my maks dropped rapidly. my mom found out about the cutting and sent me to a phycologist which i refused to co-operate with. finally my mom booked herself into rehab. i stopped for a while then but when my mom got out my parents almost immediately divorced. thats when i started again. its very hard to stop like a drug. eventually it got really bad. hey were gonna take everything sharp away from me if i didnt stop. i still had problms with my weight. this year i started at a new school and i seem to have started cutting again. i am the boarding house there and they also have noticced i dont eat alot. i cant really speak to anyone about it as i live with my dad and brother and i dont speak to my mom anymore

just thought id share =]
Z

Friday, April 17, 2009, 9:25 AM

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i cut myself fo rmany reasons as well. have the time i don't even know why i do it. all i know is that i love the way they look and feel. i enjoy the aattention i get. call me crazy but that's jusst me. i started cutting at the age of thirteen. i din't know what i was doing. i needed an escape and i found it by cutting myself wiht a small constructional blade my dad uses. i think about suicide almost everyday now. i haven't attempted anything but the urge to do so is there. i didn't realize that my cuts could hurt not only me but those around me. i told my parents one time hoping for their support and comfort but i didn't get it. they were mad and screaming so loud that i stromed out of the room and went ot a friends house. i spent the night there becasue i was afraid of what my parents would do next. why did they have to yell at me?? i get that some parents get angry becasue they don't know how to deal with their children hurting themselves but pretending that nothing is happening and just moving on with their lives is the final statement. i went to them for support, guidance, and above all their love. they didn't give me anyhting so now i don't care whether i hurt them with my cuts. i realized they weren't going to help me. i now cut everyday and have mutiple thoughts of suicide. i don't care what i've done to deserve such pain but i know that i'm the only one carring this type of pain and i will do so for the rest of my life. no one can really help me. my pyschologist only made things worse and i was left confused. i don't care anymore that i hurt those around me. i like my cuts and the pain it gives me. i won't stop and i don't care but i won't stop...

Monday, May 04, 2009, 6:55 PM

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yes there are people who cut..... me being one of them. i have been cutting since i was in 5th grade so for 4 years and it is addictive, im still trying to stop. Does anyone know any alternitives?

Tuesday, May 26, 2009, 2:23 PM

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to previous poster

therapy.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009, 3:02 PM

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cognitive therapy.

As many have noted, cutting is trying to relieve emotional pain by causing physical pain. However, physical pain does not actually relieve emotional pain, so it's all psycho somatic.

The fact is, cutting, like drinking or drugs is a terrible terrible coping mechanism. You have to keep cutting because it only temporarily numbs the pain. Working through emotions, correcting misconceptions, validating feelings, etc., are all ways to dissolve pain permanently, whereas cutting, drinking, durgs, etc., are all temporary.

I've been through cognitive therapy, and it made a HUGE difference in my life. Now I'm informally helping a girl I volunteer with the same techniques I learned to help her quit drinking and cutting. It's not a quick process, but she's making progress.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009, 7:25 PM

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For me, it was like the emotional pain was overwhelming. I felt like the pain didn't count; it wasn't real because it was not visible. When I cut myself, it was relief because I could see the pain. The blood dripping out was like a purge. The ugliness inside was being purged like evil seeping out of me. I only cut once, and it was considered a suicide attempt in the early 90s. I don't think that "cutting" was heard of them. I'd like to know how people stopped cutting and what made them feel better.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 3:04 PM

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preteens

Please consider talking about how you feel about yourself, your school, and whatever ails you to a school counselor, or even a hotline. A number of us began feeling our pain during adolescence (10-14). You may head it off at the pass, even if it doesn't seem like the biggest deal. This is where a lot of struggles begin, when we first try to figure out who we are.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009, 3:15 PM

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i am 17 years old and i have been cutting for about nine months now. my parents didn't rly care about me an never noticed my depression. i started hating myself so much and didn't want to be around myself, i felt so guilty for every little thing i would do wrong. i would sit an think an dwell on the past an present. i wanted to feel pain and take away all the pain. i didn't hurt as the blade went in and the blood ran down. i was numb. i would punish myself for all the shit i got myself into. i wanted to die, yet i wanted to live. i haven't cut in about two weeks and im hoping i won't do it again, im still depressed but im trying. i will eventually stop for my own sake, my sanity, my happiness, my future. my fate depends on me and im not gonna be the one to take my life. have faith.

Sunday, August 09, 2009, 4:22 AM

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Cutting.

Hi, I am fifteen years old, and I started cutting at the beginning of this year 2009. I was feeling so much hurt in myself, that cutting myself, moved the hurt from my heart and focused on something else.
I understand how it feels, but I got through it by telling my teacher at school, she's more of a friend, and she's absolutely amazing. She didn't just straight out tell me to stop, she gave me ways of distracting myself, whenever I felt the urge, instead of turning to cutting. I play the Clarinet and Piano. I found that just such a good way of releasing my emotions - music! Music is a fantastic was of releasing everything inside you, you can play whatever you feel - sad, angry, happy! Do something you absolutely love doing, stay positive, and talk about it, even to your pet, or your best mate, or trusted adult, counselor...Writing everything down is helpful too...your own personal diary that maybe you don't want anyone else to read, later when you look back at it, you'll be proud of yourself to overcome this huge obstacle in your life.
If you ever feel the urge to hurt yourself in some way - find a way of distracting yourself, exercise, music, read, go for a walk, maybe even just ringing your friend and talking to them for a while, just about anything, doesn't have to be a deep and meaningful conversation. (:

Thursday, September 10, 2009, 10:45 PM

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PP poster. Good luck on your journey. It sounds like you have someone you can look up to and can help you. You are learning lots.

I hope you are proud of yourself because you should be!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009, 10:49 PM

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10:45, it sounds like you are making great strides in learning how to deal with your cutting. God bless your teacher for helping you!

I'm 33 now, but I used to cut my arms, legs and breasts when I was in college -- I was 18 or 19. It was exactly what some of the previous posters described ... a desperate desire to transform emotional pain into physical pain, a way to try to release it SOMEHOW. Back then, not too many people had heard of cutting, and while a lot of my friends and even family members knew, they didn't really know how to deal with it.

I had suspected since middle school that I suffered from depression and OCD, but my mom brushed it off as "normal teen angst." (Odd, because SHE has both conditions herself!) It got exponentially worse when I went away to college. I didn't get help until a nurse at the college health clinic saw the cuts on my arms when she was checking my blood pressure. She called me later that day at my dorm and asked if I would talk to a counselor. I agreed, and that was the very beginning of my recovery. It didn't happen quickly, but it DID happen.

Saturday, September 12, 2009, 10:49 PM

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i have been cutting myself for almost a year now, and yesterday i decided to stop. i don't know if i can do it, but i promised my friends i would try. it wasn't for attention or anything, honestly i just needed to release my feelings someway. i didn't think it was bad until i released that i didn't know if i could stop. i won't admit to anyone i know the power it has over me but it really scares me.

Monday, November 23, 2009, 1:52 AM

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my name is Leah. I am 17. Ive been cutting since i was 13 years old. I am very ashamed of that. Ive tried my hardest to control it but life seems to get worse and worse as the years go by..ive told my best friend who thinks ive stopped for the past couple of years but the truth is--i just started doing it in a more private place...i promise my boyfriend i'll stop so he wont tell on me but..thats a lie... and i hate lying to him so much :( but cutting has become routine now... its a part of me...and I used to try to justify it with “People smoke and drink all the time! Im not doing anything worse than they are”..i fel so stupid...im too scared to ask for help..i mean i know its out there but i dont want anybody treating me like a patient ya know? if any of you have any help or ideas or anything...im open to em.. brokenpieces666@ymail.com is my email...you can use that to find me on facebook and myspace as well....im trying to stop...but is just so damn hard ya know? thanks a bunch guys


Tuesday, December 08, 2009, 11:29 AM

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Leah, I wish I could offer the right words of comfort or advice but I don't know them. I really feel for you. I've never cut myself but I do/have hurt myself by binge eating since I was 13 years old and I am now an adult. Change is very hard but you *can* change and it seems like you've taken the first step by reaching out to us for help. Please don't feel stupid. Many people hurt themselves in many ways, be it cutting, or overeating, or drugs, etc. Ok, I get that you don't want to feel like a patient. Do you have an adult friend you can talk to about this? Think of every adult in your life, someone you can trust and really show your true side to. Please, reach out to someone you know, someone with more life experience than you, who can help guide you out of this behavior and help you into loving yourself more, and treating your body like the precious gift it is. Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

Tuesday, December 08, 2009, 12:48 PM

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I am 15, this is my 'story'

I like the feel of the scars, the texture of the scars, and how you bleed is, to me, is amazing. I love the feel of the razon cutting the flesh. It releases emotional pain.
i cutt for several reasons, mental disorders, control, emotions, bad relationships, felling insignificant. for those who say your crazy or retarded, or suicidal, f*** off, as others have said it is, again to me, a great way to 'escape' the feelings i experience, i dont care if others see. its not like im cutting them.
i have a good life, im smart, im rich, i have 'fancy' stuff like wide screen tv, computer......, my parents got divorced while i was in a critical child development phase-thing, i got beat, i have aspergs, depression, OCD, anxietys, and other s***.
i don't like pills and as such dont take them. they didn't help anyways. i believe that cutting is a way to release pain that has built up inside that has no way fo dissipating.
i hate people who say your life isnt so bad, but people take things different ways, in my case and many others, they chose to go physical instead of chemical or vocal.
people who tay to help me will fail because i enjoy depression, im not endangering my life, just soothing it. like a clothing iron.
ah well.

Thursday, March 04, 2010, 10:29 PM

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Most people have it wrong, cutters do not do it for attention. If anything, we mostly hide what we have done. We do not want anyone to find out.

I quit cutting for many years until recently, it is something that is with you at all times, in the back of your mind. I wish everyone good luck. Cutting can be very dangerous.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010, 6:39 PM

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people do expreience with this, everday. most people think we are "sicidal" but often wearent trying to killl ourselves, just take out our anger on various problems.. im not proud of it, but it gets to be a addiction and its extremely hard to stop.

Friday, April 09, 2010, 10:58 AM

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im 17, a guy and i cut. i started cutting a few months ago when my girlfriend broke up with me.

i really have no severe depression or deeper reasons for cutting. i just dont deal with my emotions well and this is how i calm myself down. im afraid to try to stop because of how hard it is for me between chances to cut( i usually only cut about once a week). i know that right now if i try to stop i wont be able to stay off it and the fact that im not strong enough to stand without it will only make me do it more.

its been 3 weeks since i cut because i made a promise to go 1 month without it, i hate every day i cant do it.when the months up i go back to my stupid self destructive life.

Friday, April 09, 2010, 8:09 PM

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Cutting

I started cutting when I was twelve, I'm eighteen now and still do it. I stopped for a year after I told my mom and a group of kids in my youth group, and I probably would have never started if they had offered any real support, but I started again this fall. I don't do it as much as I did before, and when I do I take much better care of the cut. I'm not sorry for doing it, it makes me feel better, but I do wish that I had found a different way to deal with everything from the begining. I don't do it for attention, the only reason I told anyone but my best friend was that I fully intended to stop, but it didn't work out that way. I don't like to see young kids start cutting, but I can't deny that it usually helps with stress and pain. When my best friend ask me why I did it I replied "Its a physical representation of my emotional pain", and it is. Some say the blood is like tears when you run out of them, for me it is just my tears, most of the time I can't cry when I need to, cutting is the only way for me to let it out. I'm sorry if it offends non-cutters, but thats the way it is. At least for me. I do, when I can, plan to stop cutting, but for now it helps, and I need that help.

Saturday, April 10, 2010, 2:10 AM

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Cutting

I started cutting last year and it didn't help. I never understood why people did it. I continued only to hurt myself. I finally stopped, and then this year I was hit hard by medical depression. I couldn't stop thinking of suicide, not because I wanted it, but because I couldn't help it. My friends got scared because I was going insane trying to keep sane. I started cutting few days ago. I realized I don't think about suicide anymore. Yesterday, I made my first real gash that I needed a rag to stop from getting blood everywhere. I am happy. I don't know what it is about it, but its like an out happy people have that depressed people don't. It's something that helps. For thsoe noncutters, its hard to understand, you can't tell us to stop, call us pathetic. It makes it worse. It's not like we can just turn it off, we wouldn't want anyone to feel this way. We don't want it, but once we find a way to quiet it, why take it away? I do plan on not cutting eventually, but right now it is helping me. If you have someone who cuts, don't tell on them. A ward just depresses them more, just reason. Make them call you, keep you updated. We don't do it to kill, we do it to help. Shouldn't you support that? If your friend is still unhappy even with cutting, then you need alternate excersizes, but if they are happy, why take it away? Just make sure they are never alone, or it can lead to death.

Tuesday, November 02, 2010, 12:53 PM

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I started cutting myself at age 11. At first I only did a few then I started doing more and more cuts until I cover both arms completely with cuts. At first I was scared to tell any one, afraid of what they might think. One day one of my friends cut herself and told me, her other friends and most people she knew found out she cut herself (She only cut herself once or twice than stopped) . When she told me she cut herself I finally felt comfortable enough to tell my friends I cut myself. One of my friends that was cutting herself only did a couple of cuts, one day a showed her my arm and the next day she had cuts covering her arm (She quit cutting herself). One of my other friends had never cut herself and after a month of me cutting my self she scratched her arms a couple of times. Some people I knoww think cutting themself is cool. Its not its a hard thing to quit. I wish I had never started cutting myself. I use it as a way to escape emotional pain ( I was bullied when I was younger and had other problems). It works. I have told my friends I would stop, but I never had the strength to stop. I have met more people that cut themselves. I have found out people cut themselves for different reasons, some people cut themselves to be cool, some for attention, some people cut for personal issues, some people cut for things that have happened to them, some people cut because they think their ugly or to fat, some people cut because of relationships. I am now 12 and have been cutting myself for 7-8 months and wish I never started cutting. If you are cutting yourself or thinking about cutting yourself please get help. Stopping cutting yourself is very difficult I have been trying to for months and am still trying to stop I know some people that have been in and out of hospitals trying to stop cutting themselves.

Tuesday, January 04, 2011, 9:07 PM

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When I was younger, about 12 or 13 I remember I had a small scissors on my bed side table and I remember looking at it, wanting to cut but i didnt, this happened a few times I hid the scissors then so I wouldnt be tempted.
Now I am 17 and I started wanting to again i guess, I dont know why, I have had a pretty hard childhood I guess and have a hard time now at times about different things, especially anger although nobody can tell as they think im the happiest person they know but pretending to be happy is an easy cover i guess.
I know a few other people who cut
Then the other day I cut and now I cant stop thinking about it, I look at the marks throughout the day i cant help it but i wish i never did it now, i cant stop thinking about it, I want to do it again but i dont at the same time because im afraid ill get more hooked and people will find out

Wednesday, January 09, 2013, 4:15 PM

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