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What do you do when you feel like a failure!

I feel like that so often it is not even funny! Many times it is not a feeling but a truth. I n reality everyone fails alot But on the other hand everyone suceeds alot. I am going to look at my sucesses today!

Sat. Jan 6, 12:41pm

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When I feel like I've failed, I remind myself of all the hard work I've done and that small slip (or large slip) will not undo all those days, weeks, and months of hard work. Then I tell myelf to "just keep going!"

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 12:44 PM

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I just redefine success to something more attainable.

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 2:17 PM

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Think about the old saying "Turn your weaknesses into successes" - you know, like when doing an interview---you talk about your weaknesses and then talk about what changes you are making to make those weaknesses into a strength... :-)

You know, think optimist vs. pessimist... :-)

One thing though, it's a new "learned habit" that you need to work on-- so when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts of failure, you have to consciously stop yourself and "rewire" your thinking by changing to a more optimistic thought...

I hope that makes some sense! ;-)


Saturday, January 06, 2007, 2:55 PM

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irissvb You make absolute sense !

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 3:06 PM

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well, speaking of failing I have failed my boards 4 times to get into a residency program in internal medicine. It is tough most people will quit but not me. I have endured alot, I am determined to make it. I am organizing myself better, evaluting what I did wrong, make a viable game plan and moving forward. Nothing is impossible, everything and anything is possible, if you really want it. I will make it and be the best damn doctor there is.

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 3:47 PM

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3:47-you gave me goosebumps! No doubt that you will make it!

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 3:51 PM

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What do you do when you feel like a failure!

I can be the queen of that sometimes! I just remind myself of the friendships that I have. If those people can feel the way they do about me, then I can't be a failure. Sometimes that helps when I'm self-sabatoging

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 10:25 PM

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Do something for someone else - someone you love or someone you have never seen before ....feel the power and the joy of being able to help someone else.

... and remember, you are not a failure until you stop trying!

Saturday, January 06, 2007, 11:59 PM

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I have that inner voice that creeps up from time to time and I feel like a failure and then I try to change my bad attitude and count my blessings and I always instantly feel better.

Sunday, January 07, 2007, 1:19 AM

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3:47 - If you made it through med school, you must have done something right! Keep working on it! One of my friends did the same thing when becoming a teacher--she couldn't pass the math test-- but she persisted and is now the head of her department at her high school!

My sister failed the bar the 1st time she took it-- Not that she used it as an excuse, but she had just lost a close friend 2 weeks before-- but decided to take the test anyways in memory of her friend. She is now a practicing lawyer....

Keep on keeping on... With your persistence, you'll make it!

Sunday, January 07, 2007, 1:22 AM

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I have only failed if I fail to learn from my mistakes. So sometimes I guess I need to fail repeatedly, but I still learn something every time. ;-) Every time I fail I use it as motivation to get up and keep going because now I have been through the worst and I can look forward to the best.

Although it's usually a good idea to analyze failure to some extent - make it a productive exercise, don't sit there and beat a dead horse. What where you trying to accomplish? How, precisely did you fail? Was it a total failure? What did you do right? What will you do next time? As a manager I have employees who beat themselves up far worse than I ever could and I often tell them one of several things...

"There are no stupid questions, only stupid mistakes." (because sometimes people are afraid to ask questions for fear they will appear 'dumb')
"Mistakes are merely opportunities to learn and take ownership of a situation."
"Do not let fear of making mistakes paralyze you. Sometimes you learn far better from your failures than you ever would from success."

Although I do not love dealing with the fallout of mistakes (including my own), it's silly and completely unrealistic not to plan on at least some things going wrong (another saying "Plan for failure - hope for success") - the trick is to analyze what went wrong, identify a strategy for moving forward and then do so without engaging in the largely useless exercises of finger-pointing and recrimination. It's usually better to take some positive action than sit there and endlessly dwell on what went wrong. And when there are many people involved it only causes interpersonal tension and bad feelings which are counter-productive.

So I realize some of what I've talked about is from the workplace, but that's how I live my life as well. One last saying "The harder you beat yourself down, the harder it is to pick yourself up and move on." I'm not saying to pretend like failures never happen, and that you don't need to address the consequnces, but you need to be able to move on and the more you beat yourself up, the harder it is to do, so try to acheive some balance there. Best wishes to you! Most of us can accomplish more than we ever think possible, but not if we give up.

Sunday, January 07, 2007, 12:30 PM

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For the people who feel like failures this is what i use when i feel down < which is often, and it helps me.

Always look to the clouds, or you will never see the sun shine.

Sunday, January 07, 2007, 11:38 PM

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i suck

i got homesick at camp and cried soooooo much and i faked sick and i got to goooo home but i went back in withen 2 hours i was crieng again and then i woud go home and back and over nd over and it has been 3 mounths since camp and i stillllll cant sleep over some1s house for oner night and i have to gooo away for school for natures classroom in april for 5 days and i dont want to get homesick in front of alll my friends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 8:19 PM

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If you feel like a failure in your weight loss, look over what you have been doing--the beauty of logging in--find out your problem areas. Then, find something you can do to change them. For me, I have a late afternoon munchie problem. I find if I eat something high protein, my munching really is under control. If you keep a journal for your daily life, not just to schedule yourself, but add your feelings, the books you read, your interactions at work, home, etc., you can really start seeing your triggers, and you can do something about them.

8:19. You don't sound too sincere, so, post somewhere else. If you are sincere, figure it out.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 9:06 PM

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Usually when I feel like a failure I wallow in it for a while. Until I realize what I am doing. Then I look at what is going on objectively and start talking to myself in a possitive manner.
Then pick myself up and start over.
Wherever you find yourself start over and make possitive choices.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007, 11:29 PM

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As someone who has suffered from major depression/suicidal thoughts in the past, I can really relate to this.

My advice - stay positive! There's always going to be something to drag you down, but if you give it some thought you will realize you aren't really a failure. The things you spend so much time worrying about typically don't matter in the end.

I'd rather be the person people think is ridiculously optimistic rather than the person who complains about everything and/or looks for the negative in everything.

BTW, I'm only a few days in here and I ate a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream today. I'll be better tomorrow.

8:19 - you probably need to talk to your parents about the home sickness. It's really normal.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 1:30 AM

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To the homesick kid--

Since you have to go to Nature's School, one thing you can do that will take some of the embarrassment out of feeling homesick is this: now, while you're not weepy and homesick, when the topic of Nature School comes up, simply admit openly that you get ridiculously homesick. Be honest, be straightforward, be matter-of-fact about it.

Within yourself, come up with plans for dealing with homesickness--what you will do when you feel it coming on. Ways to redirect your focus. You might include your friends in this, give them silly things to do or some private I-understand signal they can offer. Whatever you think might help.

And then--go to camp and give it your best, knowing that your friends already know that you aren't perfect, and that you have a strategy.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 8:17 PM

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When I'm feeling particularly down, I force myself through a work out, but add about 50% of what you would've normally done to the end, making it longer. I find that after about 5-10 minutes, I'm no longer forcing myself, after 20 minutes the endorphins are kicking in and I'm no longer feeling down.

When the work out's over, I run straight for a longggg, longggg, shower. Take every care, put a little scented oil, and just soak for a while.

When I get out, if I'm hungry (and it's not a little trick to keep yourself from gorging after a wrkout - make it around 9, so after you're done, showered, etc, it's very late and you have an excuse not to eat a lot) I'll take a glass of milk and walk out of the kitchen and do something I LIKE.

I feel super proud, powerful, sexy, etc after :]

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 10:10 PM

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the doctor:

Sometimes, though, you have to know when to stop. Maybe this is not for you.
If I knew you failed 4 times, would not want you treating me, that's for sure.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007, 11:39 PM

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to 11:39

A person's ability to pass a standardized test is not indicative of their potential as a professional, nor is it an indicator of compassion, empathy or how well they will truly listen to what you the patient are concerned about. Take this from a teacher who has been watching students grow for years and years.... Grades (or test scores) are often not indicative of who will be successful in life or at their chosen careers.

Determination, consistency and perseverance are worth more than the ability to regurgitate the 'right' answers on cue. They will get you further in life and give you more empathy for your fellow humans.

Thursday, October 18, 2007, 1:15 AM

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I refuse to see a setback of any kind as a failure. It is simply a "not yet succeeded" with an opportunity to continue working at achieving my goal. Hope this helps you.


Thursday, October 18, 2007, 1:24 AM

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when these feelings of failure take over I get into a mood of rebellion and then I think "just despite of it I will not give up"... (adjust to situation).

Thursday, October 18, 2007, 10:30 PM

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to 1:15

All of what you said may be right in other professions, but regurgitating information at a very stressful and time-limited event is highly important for doctors. Imagine this: the surgeon is operating and there is a complitation....I don't think that compassion, perseverance and consistency really about regurgitate the right answer or the patient dies!!

I think those tests are not exactly like children's grade school tests, they are made to be very precise indicators of how well a person can deal with being in charge of lives.

Thursday, October 18, 2007, 11:33 PM

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You're obviously a really good teacher. Its so important to develop a students potential rather than to put them into a box which then defines their future. People who fail these tests can definately go on to become brilliant at what they do, especially if they have the determination and will to do it.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010, 3:25 PM

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Oh, you think not passing the boards four times is a lot. You might be surprised how many doctors are practicing that failed just as many if not more. Participating is a whole lot different than penciling answers in a booklet. Even if you really felt that way, why even post it? What's the point? No way, you can convince me that you just said it in his/her best interest because you care. The tone alone makes you come across as bitter, and snooty. Don't kid yourself, nobody else here is. It was a nasty remark, and nothing positive could of come of it, with maybe the exception that 'the doctor' is even more motivated now, just out of spite.

Saturday, January 30, 2010, 5:31 PM

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Wow! I just realized this was a really old thread! LOL

Saturday, January 30, 2010, 5:32 PM

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