CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories

Lounge
Community 


What's more important?

I read the response to the woman whose boyfriend broke up with her after 4 years ..the response that said "When she finally met her husband through friends ,she was not head and heels over him. Today she is very happily married and thinks her husband is a prince. She is so glad she gave the relationship time. She got a keeper"

Anyway, it got me thinking. I've known this guy for a few years. He treats me better than anything/anyone I have ever met. We tried dating but physically things just weren't great. He comes from a religious background and has some issues around sex. I always think that if things were better in that department we would have been so great, but I also wonder if I'm being shallow by not focusing on the other aspects instead. So it makes me wonder, how important is sex in a long term relationship? Thoughts? Am I being superficial by placing an importance on it?


Sat. Jan 13, 12:20pm

Add comment  
There's a difference between sacrificing and compromising. Sacrificing immaterial things like idiosyncrasies or unharmful habits is one thing. Compromising your morals, values, and reasonable needs is another. Ask any doctor or someone who has been in a LTR marriage or relationship that is truly happy and appreciative of their partner - sex and initimacy is essential.

Saturday, January 13, 2007, 1:08 PM

Add comment
Do not underestimate the important of a compatible sexual relationship!! Take it from someone who has dealt with friends who were screwed up due to religious beliefs or childhood sexual abuse, and partners who only wanted sex about 1/10th as often as I did. I know too many people who overlooked problems in this department, stayed married, and were unbelievably miserable - they felt ugly, repulsive, undesirable because of the constant rejection or their spouse's aversion to certain bedroom activities.

I'm not a huge fan of Dr. Phil, but I am totally on board with his evaluation of the importance of sex in a long-term relationship: when it's not a problem, it's 10% of the relationship. When it is a problem, it becomes 90% of the relationship.

Saturday, January 13, 2007, 1:14 PM

Add comment
Are you kidding? Sex is very important. If he has issues with sex chances are he'll never be able to fully work them out especially if they are connected to his religious beliefs. Sex is one of the most intimate experiences in a relationship and if you enjoy it and he doesn't do you really want to give it a try and waste time?

Monday, January 15, 2007, 12:34 AM

Add comment
low sex drive

I dated a guy who announced to me that he had a low sex drive. I did not notice his low sex drive because we were in the beginning of the relationship and were like rabbits. However, 6 weeks into the relationship said he had a low sex drive. Then he told me he thought sex was very important to me. He said I needed to decide if his low sex drive was a deal breaker right there because he had issues with his ex over his lack of interest. They faught over sex a lot apparently. I was bowled over by this. Obviously, he had reservations regarding sex and at 34 he was very inexperienced. I love sex and yeah, it is important to me. He actually faught with me over the sex thing that night and was very stern with me. I decided he was a weirdo and dumped him! Plus the sex was not all that good anyway.

If he sucks in bed then DUMP him!!!! Life is too short!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007, 7:47 PM

Add comment
generally, for women sex is the difference between relationships and friendships. Now, some people may be able to feel that sex isn't that important. However, for a relationship to survive, both people need to think that. It doesn't work if one values it and the other doesn't.

I have a hard time finding a guy who can keep up with me, and if there isn't any passion, I walk.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007, 8:11 PM

Add comment
Just stay friends! If you can't get along romantically/sexually, it will never work in the long term.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007, 8:19 PM

Add comment
You deserve the whole package! hehe- play on words.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007, 8:37 PM

Add comment
You'll come to a point where you resent him for not giving you the physical pleasure you want, and it will make you think that he "owes" you all the other things he is doing for you... and that's gonna kill the relationship right then and there.

Trust me, I'm speaking from experience.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007, 10:57 PM

Add comment
Dec 12 - 7:47 you made me laugh! Life IS too short.

Thursday, December 13, 2007, 11:43 PM

Add comment
7:47 have you ever thought of things being turned? He could have brought up the whole issue and lied about it because he knew it would be an issue for you and you were the one to dump him, not the other way around. Maybe he realized he didn't like you as much and felt the same, that the sex sucked and took the easy way out? I know guys who will create issues when their aren't ones so they don't have to be the one to end something.

Friday, December 14, 2007, 10:58 AM

Add comment
7:47 here...

10:58 yep you could be right. Sometimes people are not strong enough to end something and they take the coward's way out. In any event, whether he liked me or didn't like me doesn't matter to me in the least. We were incompatible, so I got out.

Friday, December 14, 2007, 1:03 PM

Add comment

Next: Click Here For Recipes That Help You Lose Weight
New: The PEERtrainer Cheat System
The PEERtrainer Cheat System is a new, simple to follow system for eating. The objective is to help guide you towards a way of eating that will make it easier to lose weight, give you more energy and help you feel better. It is free, easy to follow, and a little unusual and controversial. Most of all it is working. This link will take you to a blog post where you can download a FREE copy of the Cheat System Diet Cookbook! The Cheat System has also been turned into a major book to be published May 6th, 2014. According to Srini Pillay, MD, Harvard Medical School: "It works in a real way with how human psychology works...I love that it relates closely to how the brain likes to function... without crazy effort and with significant short-term gains."
Here is a preview of the cover:

Cheatcover

You can get started on the system for free by clicking on this banner:

peertrainer cheat system

"Gives you the template to lose weight without sending your hormones in a disastrous death spiral."

-Sara Gottfried, MD, NY Times Best Selling Author

"The Cheat System Diet is brilliant! Jackie Wicks understands how the brain works, and how habits are developed in the real world."

--Steven Masley, MD, Assistant Professor University South Florida

 






Explore Related Articles
Weight Loss Motivation   Sustainable Weight Loss
Weight Lifting    Hypnosis and Weight Loss
Emotional Eating   Help Losing Weight
Free Weight Loss Program   Weight Watchers Points  NutriSystem
How To Change Anything

weight loss coaching


New Services and Offerings From PEERtrainer:

1) How To Achieve Sustainable Weight Loss This is a new 12 week program that helps you solve the mental blockages that are prevent many from sustainable weight loss. The most interesting thing about the program is what participants are saying and you can click on the link to read them.

2) Tip Of The Day Weight Loss Coaching Program-- This is a daily email program that helps to reinforce fundamentals as well as gives you practical tips each day. We are getting GREAT feedback from subscribers.

3) What Are Your Odds Of Losing Weight?-- Take the PEERtrainer Coaching Quiz Now!

4) Tip Of The Day Blog-- We update this each day with responses to specific questions from our coaching subscribers and customer.

5) New Diet and Weight Loss Content-- We have launched a new diet section that organizes the growing amount of content on the site. When you click in the most important areas are highlighted.









Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight

 

How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources

Fitness

Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner

 

Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
 

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
 

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge






PEERtrainer Is A Free and Powerful Online System For
Weight Loss Support

Click Here To Learn More and Join!