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Husband's comment

When my husband saw the pants I was wearing today he immediately said "Those pants are tight. They look painted on" I was already thinking the same thing and feeling a bit self conscious about it b/c they were tight in the butt and in the thigh.
I told him,
"Do you realize when you say that you are telling me I am too fat for the pants?"
He said, "No, that's not what I'm saying, I'm just saying they are tight, and some women want their pants tight."
He refused to acknowledge that his comment was a bit rude and insensitive.
What would you all think if your husband told you or pants are tight? What would be a more constructive way to say the same thing?

Mon. Jan 29, 1:03pm

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given your description of the events, i'd say he was right on with his comments. it would have been different if he'd said, "you look fat in those tight pants." from my understanding, he was not passing judgement, just making an observational statement.

Monday, January 29, 2007, 1:07 PM

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OP here. I guess what aggravated me is that he refused to see the link between saying "The pants look painted on" and that it would make me feel self consious about my weight.

Monday, January 29, 2007, 1:09 PM

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Tight pants also come from washing and drying, not just getting fat. Lighten up.

Monday, January 29, 2007, 1:10 PM

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Given that I might be trashy....

I wear my pants tight on purpose! (Is that trashy of me?) So I'd've taken that remark as an "o-K!"
But your husband probably knows that you don't wear your pants tight on purpose -- even though he might like them that way. :-)

Monday, January 29, 2007, 1:13 PM

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in my opinion, the negative comment you are hearing through his words is coming from inside your own head. you can twist a lot of things people say in order to make it offensive to you and what you may be sensitive about, but the intent may not be there on the part of the speaker. if you were thin and loved your body and didn't have such hang-ups, it may not have been offensive to you at all, even if he said the exact same words. i think you should listen to what he was trying to convey, not what else his words could mean to someone who is self-conscious about their weight. and that is that he noticed that you were wearing tight pants. he may have been telling you to be informative, not rude.

Monday, January 29, 2007, 1:15 PM

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