CommunityBrowse groupsBlogEtiquetteInvite Your friendsSuccess Stories

Lounge
Community 


OT: Threatened by hubby's budding online sexual activity.

I've been married a long time. Our relationship has had its ups and downs but recently I thought we were in a good place. I just discovered over the last couple of days that he has registered with a couple of online dating/relationship sites. I feel incredibly betrayed and lost.

Any suggestions? Thanks for any help.


Fri. Feb 2, 4:09am

Add comment  
My suggestion is to confront this right now, before it goes any further. If your husband isn't a cheater by nature, then there's something he's not getting from the relationship. I'd ask him to go to therapy with you. If you nip this in the bud, you can perhaps save your marriage. If you let it go on, only more damage will be done.

Good luck!

Friday, February 02, 2007, 8:37 AM

Add comment
When my husband and I were engaged, we went through rough times and contemplated breaking off the engagement and going our separate ways.

We decided to spice things up in our life and mutually got online to adult type websites to meet other couples, etc. We set boundries and rules so that we were both comfortable. I however never became as comfortable with that type of lifestyle as he did and I asked him to stop perusing. He didn't at first and I discovered that he was still logging onto these sights and that he still had dating websites emailing him updates of potential matches, he had never discontinued those memberships. I confronted him and he immediately contacted the dating websites to have his name removed and he told me he would stop going online to the adult websites.

I don't think he has completely stopped the adult website thing, I think he might be slightly addicted to them. Right now it's harmless, but my mind does wonder, has he secretly met people, what kind of things is he confiding in these "strangers", and so on.

Here's a couple of suggestions:
*Perhaps join in the "fun" with your husband if you are comfortable
*Ask straight up what is going on in a non confrontational way
*Ask him to stop and let him know how it makes you feel

Keep in mind, even if your husband does stop, there is no way to know for sure that he has 100% quit, you'll have to trust him.

Friday, February 02, 2007, 8:49 AM

Add comment
I think that what a lot of people get out of those sites is not sex -- actual or cyber- but APPROVAL.

Do not assume that he is on there looking for "real" sex -- despite the media hype about what goes on in one end of the spectrum, the vast majority of people on those sites (I know this from years of experience.) log in because they want the rush of getting an e-mail from someone who looked at their picture and thought, "I'd like to be friends with that person." or "I'd like to flirt with that person." or maybe, "Sure, theoretically I could maybe sleep with him, but in real life he's probably a jerk.... "

For some people, those little tiny bits of "insta-approval" (as someone I just met online called it) is completely addictive. It may be that your marriage IS in a better place because your husband is receiving positive feedback from complete strangers -- and it makes him feel better about himself.

Think about it -- a lot of us come HERE to get positive feedback from complete strangers. And men tend not to hang out so much on weight-loss sites.

Now, whether you should feel threatened if this is the case, I can't tell you. But I would advise you to make every effort not to take this man for granted, and to let him know that you appreciate him too, while you are asking him about this.

Friday, February 02, 2007, 9:39 AM

Add comment
What is going on in husband/wife relationships!? I am married and can say that my husband and I have a very open line of communication and talk about everything, I would never be afraid to bring something up to him that is bothering me. And I'm sorry but I would NEVER approve of any type of intimate relationship with another woman. And I would never be afraid to say so.

Sorry if this is a tangent but there are so many "my husband is doing this terrible thing" and I just don't understand it!

Friday, February 02, 2007, 1:11 PM

Add comment
i agree. i am baffled by the ways in which couples do not communicate. how did they even end up married to begin with? and why would you commit to someone you can't discuss life with? i guess this is another area in which i follow the beat of a different drummer, because i would not hesitate to bring up any topic with my husband-especially if i was able to bring the subject up with others, even strangers anonymously.

Friday, February 02, 2007, 1:25 PM

Add comment
OP here. Apparently, I wasn't being very good at hiding my very upset feelings from my husband and before dinner he asked me if anything was wrong. After a little foot shuffling, I told him what had upset me.

He's a journalist and claimed to have considered doing an article about that type of site a long time ago and that the sites just continue to e-mail him. He was very insistent that he had never written any e-mails to anyone. Of course, if he just signed up, that would, in fact, be the truth.

I told him once trust is broken, it's hard to create it again. We talked some more and I imagine we'll talk more over the weekend.

There is a certain safety in annonimity (sp?). I wasn't ready to share this with any of my friends. At least not yet....

Thanks for your posts!

Friday, February 02, 2007, 3:24 PM

Add comment
i am so glad to hear the two of you discussed things!! best wishes to you both in figuring things out!

Friday, February 02, 2007, 4:30 PM

Add comment
calendar
cddr
ddr
dr
cd
csr
cd
d
cd
cad
cdr7183/en">click
sar
car
caaaaar
wwr
cwwwwr
cear
ceeeeeeer
ceeer
caear
cddddar
cafar
cdc
ffff


i
am
aman
and
i
am
from
lko
andr
esf
cff
freg
fefe
r3r
fer
caddd
xx
eeeee
dddddd
crrrrrr
rrrrrr
yyyyy
cfff
we
cefefr
2017 calendar
blank calendar
cool calendar
yearly calendar
awesome calendar
icalendar
our calendar
new year calendar
free calendar
printable calendar
real printable calendar
timetable calendar
schedule calendar
school calendar
calendar 2017
calendar printable 2017
blank calendar 2017
2017 calendar
2017 free calendar
all calendar 2017
useful calendar 2017
schedule 2017 calendar
2017 schedule calendar
schedule calendar 2017
blank calendar 2017-18
calendar blog
awesome site
click here
hello
calendar
lovely
small
big
sweet
lonely
sexy
fast
slow
hot
holl
ball
bat
cricket
player
dhoni
virat
youraj
rahul
rahane
chottu
hi
ok
you
he
she
is
not
perfect
bastman
and
bowler


Tuesday, January 24, 2017, 5:08 AM

Add comment
calendar
2017 calendar
blank calendar
cool calendar
yearly calendar
awesome calendar
icalendar
our calendar
new year calendar
free calendar
printable calendar
real printable calendar
timetable calendar
schedule calendar
school calendar
calendar 2017
calendar printable 2017
blank calendar 2017
2017 calendar
2017 free calendar
all calendar 2017
useful calendar 2017
schedule 2017 calendar
2017 schedule calendar
schedule calendar 2017
blank calendar 2017-18
calendar blog
awesome site
click here
site
website
click
awesome site
check this
check
romi
know this
nice
good
real
offer
different
pooja
calendar go
map
usa map
america map
map of usa
us map
map of usa
usa
hello
you
me
aur
hum
hola
Spanish
hello
new
year
Calendar 2018
2017
you
me
like
love
beautiful
2017 calendar
girl
couple
romi
hppy
romz
rom
lover
movie
hero
awesome
code
usa
map
printable
calendar
site
click
project
miss you
Spanish
sentence


Thursday, January 26, 2017, 5:21 AM

Add comment
bb

bigdata
bigdfdgrgata
birbsgdata
bigdafbfta
bigdfgbata
bbfggnnigdata
bigdata
bibfggdata
bigdatgnha
bigdv ata
bigdata
bigdata
bigdav v ta
bigdata
bigdcvata
bivbgdata
bigdabvta
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata
biggv data
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata
bigdac ta
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata
bigdata b

bigdata

binhngdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdbnnata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata
bigdata

bigdatam/

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata
bigdata

bigdataom/

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata
bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigda,jkkjmta

bigdata

bigda,bjkta

bigdata

bigdata

bigd,bjjata

bigdata

bigdata



bn,kjnjnkjigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdatknkna

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata

bigdata



Wednesday, February 22, 2017, 4:00 AM

Add comment








Related Content:

How To Lose Weight- The Basics
Weight Watchers Points System
The Fat Smash Diet
The Eat To Live Diet
The Beck Diet Solution
How To Get The Motivation To Lose Weight

 

How To Be Successful Using PEERtrainer

How To Burn Fat
Online Weight Loss Support- How It Works
Does Green Tea Help You Lose Weight?
Tips On Using PEERtrainer
Visit The PEERtrainer Community
Diet and Fitness Resources

Fitness

Weight Watchers Meetings
Learning To Inspire Others: You Already Are
Writing Down Your Daily Workouts
Spending Money On A Personal Trainer?
How I Became A Marathon Runner

 

Preventive Health

How To Prevent Injuries During Your Workout
Flu Season: Should You Take The Flu Shot?
Are You Really Ready To Start PEERtrainer?
Super Foods That Can Boost Your Energy
Reversing Disease Through Nutrition

New Diet and Fitness Articles:

Weight Watchers Points Plus
How To Adjust Your Body To Exercise
New: Weight Watchers Momentum Program
New: PEERtrainer Blog Archive
Review Of The New Weight Watchers Momentum Program
 

Weight Loss Motivation by Joshua Wayne:

Why Simple Goal Setting Is Not Enough
How To Delay Short Term Gratification
How To Stay Motivated
How To Exercise With A Busy Schedule

Real World Nutrition and Fitness Questions

Can Weight Lifting Help You Lose Weight?
Are Protein Drinks Safe?
Nutrition As Medicine?
 

Everyday Weight Loss Tips

How To Eat Healthy At A Party
How To Eat Out And Still Lose Weight
The Three Bite Rule
Tips On How To Stop A Binge