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Question: If you're in the 130's

do you get grossed out by people in the 160's or 170's? I'm 165 and most of my sahm friends are in the 130's maybe even less and I wonder what they think when I pull out a bagel with cream cheese for my snack. I'm asking here because it's anonymous and I could never, obviously, ask them.

Tue. Feb 13, 12:39pm

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No...but I do feel a great deal of pity when I see someone truly enormous eating a large plate of food at a restaurant. It makes me feel like I'm watching them commit slow suicide.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 12:54 PM

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Why not?

Why can't you ask them, if they are your friends. If someone is a good friend to you, and you are alone so there is no pressure from others to "be nice" why can't you ask? Pick someone who is honest and understanding, and ask.

This will only work, though, if you ask truly wanting feedback. If you make a habit of only asking when you want to hear "feel good" answers, your friend wil assume that you only want reassurance. Again. So you won't get the truth.

In any case, what any of us think has nothing to do with how your friends think. The only people who can tell you that, are your friends.

Best of luck, and keep on working.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 12:58 PM

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For the person who asked why not? I never said they were good friends. You didn't answer me. Since you're 130, when you look at people that are 35 pounds heavier than you, do you get grossed out when you watch me eat? I'm looking for honesty. If you don't want to give it to me, don't deter others from giving it to me.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:03 PM

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i do not watch people eat.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:08 PM

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Perhaps it is because I'm tall, but I lost 30 pounds and no one even noticed!! Are you sure that your friends think you're fat?

Sometimes when I eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet and I see people 100-200 lbs heavier than I am really loading up their plates, I begin to wonder if I could let myself get that big, but I'm not grossed out, just wondering about the psychology of it all.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:11 PM

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Are you uncomfortable because you're eating a bagel and cream cheese and they're eating something healthier? Or not eating at all?

No, I'm not grossed out when I see people who are around 165lbs eating. My mom's about that weight, as are some of my friends. I'm between 115 and 120, for your reference (but very short!) A bagel and cream cheese, I'd never think twice. I will tell you, I have one friend who was going to be my bridesmaid, and a few months before the wedding, she started eating things like a plate of chicken wings for dinner with an appetizer of calamari, all deep fried food, and the amount of grease she was eating was a little gross. But mostly I was only upset b/c her dress had already been ordered and I was concerned that she wouldn't fit into it!!! (She ended up losing the weight before the wedding, and the dress fit just fine.)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:24 PM

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I've been in the 130's, all the way up to 210 lbs so I guess I understand both sides a little. When i was heavier, i too, worried about what other people thought about my eating, not just what i ate, but that i ate at all and how much. I always thought people were focusing on everything i put in my mouth, so around other's i was really careful to watch how much i ate and what. then i'd be starving and go home and gorge. not really healthy.

now that i'm much smaller-i realize that everyone is so busy paying attention to themselves, and their own issues to notice yours. your friends probably can't even tell you what you had for lunch in front of them because they value your friends ship and are focusing on you, not your food habits. 165, 175, is overweight (for most of us) but it is far from grotesque! please don't eat with shame, it just leads to more bad habits! I don't look at what my heavier friends eat and judge them.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:21 PM

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I'm small myself (also around 110) and it doesn't bother me at all what my friends eat ! I don't even think about it. However , when I'm out and see a person 100 - 200 pounds overweight eating , I don't feel grossed out..instead , I always feel sad for them, because I just think they are probably in a lot of emotional pain :( I think of when I was heavier and I know it was because of a lot of emotional eating concerning unresolved issues.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:22 PM

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what does the op mean by "sahm" friends? is this a company name? or an acronym?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:36 PM

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sahm means "stay at home moms"

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:38 PM

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