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Question: If you're in the 130's

do you get grossed out by people in the 160's or 170's? I'm 165 and most of my sahm friends are in the 130's maybe even less and I wonder what they think when I pull out a bagel with cream cheese for my snack. I'm asking here because it's anonymous and I could never, obviously, ask them.

Tue. Feb 13, 12:39pm

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No...but I do feel a great deal of pity when I see someone truly enormous eating a large plate of food at a restaurant. It makes me feel like I'm watching them commit slow suicide.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 12:54 PM

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Why not?

Why can't you ask them, if they are your friends. If someone is a good friend to you, and you are alone so there is no pressure from others to "be nice" why can't you ask? Pick someone who is honest and understanding, and ask.

This will only work, though, if you ask truly wanting feedback. If you make a habit of only asking when you want to hear "feel good" answers, your friend wil assume that you only want reassurance. Again. So you won't get the truth.

In any case, what any of us think has nothing to do with how your friends think. The only people who can tell you that, are your friends.

Best of luck, and keep on working.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 12:58 PM

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For the person who asked why not? I never said they were good friends. You didn't answer me. Since you're 130, when you look at people that are 35 pounds heavier than you, do you get grossed out when you watch me eat? I'm looking for honesty. If you don't want to give it to me, don't deter others from giving it to me.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:03 PM

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i do not watch people eat.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:08 PM

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Perhaps it is because I'm tall, but I lost 30 pounds and no one even noticed!! Are you sure that your friends think you're fat?

Sometimes when I eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet and I see people 100-200 lbs heavier than I am really loading up their plates, I begin to wonder if I could let myself get that big, but I'm not grossed out, just wondering about the psychology of it all.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:11 PM

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Are you uncomfortable because you're eating a bagel and cream cheese and they're eating something healthier? Or not eating at all?

No, I'm not grossed out when I see people who are around 165lbs eating. My mom's about that weight, as are some of my friends. I'm between 115 and 120, for your reference (but very short!) A bagel and cream cheese, I'd never think twice. I will tell you, I have one friend who was going to be my bridesmaid, and a few months before the wedding, she started eating things like a plate of chicken wings for dinner with an appetizer of calamari, all deep fried food, and the amount of grease she was eating was a little gross. But mostly I was only upset b/c her dress had already been ordered and I was concerned that she wouldn't fit into it!!! (She ended up losing the weight before the wedding, and the dress fit just fine.)

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 1:24 PM

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I've been in the 130's, all the way up to 210 lbs so I guess I understand both sides a little. When i was heavier, i too, worried about what other people thought about my eating, not just what i ate, but that i ate at all and how much. I always thought people were focusing on everything i put in my mouth, so around other's i was really careful to watch how much i ate and what. then i'd be starving and go home and gorge. not really healthy.

now that i'm much smaller-i realize that everyone is so busy paying attention to themselves, and their own issues to notice yours. your friends probably can't even tell you what you had for lunch in front of them because they value your friends ship and are focusing on you, not your food habits. 165, 175, is overweight (for most of us) but it is far from grotesque! please don't eat with shame, it just leads to more bad habits! I don't look at what my heavier friends eat and judge them.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:21 PM

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I'm small myself (also around 110) and it doesn't bother me at all what my friends eat ! I don't even think about it. However , when I'm out and see a person 100 - 200 pounds overweight eating , I don't feel grossed out..instead , I always feel sad for them, because I just think they are probably in a lot of emotional pain :( I think of when I was heavier and I know it was because of a lot of emotional eating concerning unresolved issues.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:22 PM

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what does the op mean by "sahm" friends? is this a company name? or an acronym?

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:36 PM

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sahm means "stay at home moms"

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 2:38 PM

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I am definately not grossed out by this! My good friend and my sister are both in their 170s. I just don't think twice about that stuff

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 3:42 PM

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thanks! if i'm not learning about weight-loss issues, i'm learning new "net lingo". love this site!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 3:42 PM

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i'm between 180 and 190. when i see myself, especially in pictures, taking a bite of food, i get grossed out, but when i see other people my size eating, i am not at all grossed out.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 3:58 PM

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i'm 130 and no i don't get grossed out. everyone has to eat. i do get grossed out when i see anyone, no matter how big, stuffing their face with junk food though.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 9:48 PM

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i agree with 2:21

You notice your weight MUCH more than anyone else ever will. Chances are they couldn't care less about what you eat for a snack and probably don't even think about your weight UNLESS you bring it up. That's my big problem with overweight people. Whether you're 10, 50, or 100 pounds overweight, please DON'T whine and complain about it if you aren't doing anything about it. My mother (whom I love dearly!) does that - - she complains about how hard it is to lose weight but won't change her habits to fascilitate weight loss.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 10:24 PM

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Yep - I really don't notice what anyone else is eating unless they are 'that person' who is incessantly complaining about how hard it is to lose weight (while eating cheesecake) and how 'lucky' I am to be 'naturally' thin because I don't know what it's like. Yeah.

But for the most part - nope, don't notice and wouldn't really care if it did register that you were a few pounds over and eating a bagel. That's your business.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007, 11:05 PM

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Honestly...

I am a bit overweight myself, but one of my closest friends (actually, best friend) is very overweight. And in all honesty, yes it grosses me out. It's not so much the fact that she's eating, it's HOW she's eating it. I hate seeing how she looks while eating and hearing how she sounds while eating all this food, (mind you, it's almost never anything healthy). The amount she eats annoys me, the way she can't lean forward because of her size, so if she spills - she spills on her chest and clothes. I'm sorry, I know I sound like a horrible person, but it's disgusting and I really despise being around her while she eats.

Even though I feel grossed out by my friend while she eats, she's still my best friend and I love her. Maybe it disgusts me because I wish she would take better care of herself, I'm not sure, but none of this makes me like her less. I just dislike this one thing about her.

But if you are watching your weight (I assume you are, you're here arent you!), and you are not "pigging out" and shoveling food into your face, I wouldn't worry.

~radiohead

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 6:52 AM

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I'm the OP. thank you for everyone's comments! I got a lot out of them, especially perspective and that I'm much more conscious of it than anyone else. Also to know that a bagel doesn't really gross you out but junk food would. to the person who went from 210 to 130 - sooooo cool!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 7:30 AM

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It's not even that junk food would gross me out and bagels wouldn't. It's that, one bagel, or a cookie, or a snack bag of chips, or a small slice of cake, etc., would not gross me out. But, 3 bagels, or a box of donuts, or a huge bag of chips, etc., that would gross me out. And, if you eat and converse and don't drool/spill/shovel it in/chew with your mouth open, then just about everything is fine. If it's clear that your goal is to get as much food in as possible, that's gross.

But, hanging out with other moms, I'm sure they're much more occupied with what their kid is doing, or how their kid is behaving, than with what you are eating!!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 10:29 AM

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I am not the person who asked why not

but I think he had a good point. No matter what we tell you, it wil not tell you what your friends think, and that seemed to be your primary concern.He did not prevent others from answering, or even try to do so, and wished you luck at the end, so he felt good will towards you.

I do not get groosed out, but my friend does. I doubt either answer throws any light on what your friends think. If you want people to be nice, please be nice yourself. He did not mean anything.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 12:24 PM

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They're too worried about how much money they have, if their house is bigger than their sister-in-law's and if they're going to get pregnant with their second to give a second thought to your bagel with cream cheese. As far as being grossed out, Bagel, no. Banana split with 3 scoops of ice cream? Yes. There you have it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 7:53 PM

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Hey there..
I'm in a similar situation so can relate. I'm trying to lose the last 5 pounds of a 20 pound weight loss (I'm now in my 120's.) I have a friend who is in her 180s and is trying to lose 20-30 pounds. Before I knew she was trying to lose weight, I never paid attention to what she ate. But now that I know she is trying....I question her choices in my mind. For example, we'll eat out and I'll order a grilled chicken sandwich with a side salad instead of fries. She will order a hamburger and french fries. It doesn't gross me out to watch her eat it...but I'm thinking to myself how is she going to lose that weight when she eats like that?

Thursday, February 15, 2007, 9:15 AM

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nope!

I don't get grossed out at all. We are all beautiful!

Friday, February 16, 2007, 9:41 PM

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