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Bf and I have been together 2 years. We live in seperate apartments and are planning to move in together in April. He has two kids from a previous marriage which he has custody of every other weekend. This past weekend we had an arguement about me wanting to spend time with him, he wanting to go golfing. I let it go and he went golfing around 2pm. I tried calling him 7pm, 8:30pm and 10pm. All with no answer. At 11pm I get a call from him that he just got out of church, his sister in law was having a gospel CD release party. I asked him if they had just got out because 7-11 at a chuch party was a long time. His answer was yes. So fast forward to today. I go over to his apartment to see him for valentines. He has a card set out for me and right next to it is a peice of paper which I looked at. It was a receipt from a restaurant on the night I couldn't get ahold of him. The receipt is for 2 adults and 2 children. I ask him if he went with anyone to the CD release party. He says no. I ask him if he had dinner that night. He says no. I tell him there is a receipt next to my card on the table that says he did. He says oh yeah, my whole family went. I said who did you pay for? He says his grandma. I say what about the kids meals on the receipt? He says they must have put someone elses kids food on his receipt. Am I just being untrusting or does it look to you like I am getting the run around. I was really in a place where I felt like I could trust this guy but this just seems fishy to me. I ended up walking away today (Valentines day, of course) feeling very lied to.

Wed. Feb 14, 3:14pm

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Sounds fishy to me. I would be on high alert if I were you. I am kind of sneaky, so I wouldn't let him know that you are very suspicious, beucase if he was doing something fishy, he would most likely cover his tracks better. Let him think that you believe him, so he will act normal and you can be extra aware of what he is doing.
Good luck, keep us posted!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 3:19 PM

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fishy is as fishy does. i wouldn't go sneaking around trying to catch him in a lie unless that is how you want to confront/address all future issues you may experience together. if you care enough about this guy to move in with him, you should care enough to be truthful, even if you suspect he is not. or break up with him and tell him you don't trust him. you can set an example to him for how to communicate with each other rather than carrying on behind each other's backs with some other, secret agenda.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 3:33 PM

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He lied to you. Does anything else matter? The trust is gone and something is going on or he wouldn't have lied to you. What else needs to be discussed?

"They must have put someone elses kids food on his receipt" is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. To prempt all of the people that are going to excuse his behavior, yes, I know that does happen occassionaly in restaurants but at this point there's so much back pedalling going on that it can't be a coincidence.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 3:52 PM

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Definitley don't move in with him. His children should be his priority right now and it is too bad he has to lie to you to be able to spend time with them. It is wrong for him to lie, but maybe he is feeling overwhelemed like he cannot fit everything in. You are lucky this happened before you moved in with him. Find someone to date who doesn't have kids.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 3:53 PM

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352, i'm with you. who doesn't speak up if extra charges were added to the bill? i think he went out w/ the exwife and the kids.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 3:54 PM

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Yup, he's lying through his teeth. Sounds an awful lot like he spent the evening with his ex-wife and kids. Do you know if he's the type to do anything for a little more time with his kids, including taking them to dinner with their mother? Do you historically have issues with him spending time with his ex-wife (not judging - just trying to think why he might lie)? Do you have reasons other than this one incident to worry that he might want to get back together with her, or vice versa? Just a few points to think about before moving in together.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 3:59 PM

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you said you asked him if he had dinner and he said NO??? but then he said he did?? thats a flat out lie to your face...not to be trusted..

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 4:03 PM

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his whole family went but you were not invited??

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 4:04 PM

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He's OBVIOUSLY lying to you, I would confront him and DON'T move in with him!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 4:29 PM

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I see a lot of alarmists here. Guys only lie if they have to lie. I wrote about this on a different thread, the one called why do guys lie???? He must feel like he has to lie, that he'll get punished if he doesn't. Do you give him overwhelming grief for spending time with his children? Were the expectations of valentines day too much to bear? OP, think about your own behavior in this one. Don't be so quick to judge and say, that's it, he lied, I'm not moving in with him. Relationships, people, life....they're all complicated. Find a way to understand before taking action.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007, 4:45 PM

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