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Let go of bitterness

I find myself to be a person who hangs on to wrong doings that have been done to me, by firends or boyfriend. I know its a terrible trait to be upset over things that happend year(s) ago, I realize how ridiculous it is...

How do you let go?

Thu. Mar 1, 6:52pm

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When you focus on the negative - your feelings are consequently negative. If your focus on what goes right, and how to get that to happen more often then you will be a more positive person. Focus on going forward, don't wallow in the past. Yes, learn from it - in the future you will be stronger, smarter, wiser and wittier, but move on. Part of moving on is letting go (because it's hard to move if you are clinging with all your might to where you are).

You cannot change others, you can only change how you chose to react to them and the world in general. I think you will find that if you change yourself, then others will 'appear' to change, but in reality they are only reacting to the 'new' you. You might be surprised at what a different place the world is when you face it with a happy heart.

I let go of past hurts and bad experiences by accepting that which I cannot change and chosing to grow from the experience. Everything has the power to teach you, and I find that no matter how negative something was, sooner or later I can come to point where I can say "well, that definitely sucked, but if I had to do it over again I still would because it made me into the person I am today, and I am better for it".

My mother holds onto every little slight and can recite them for hours like a litany of why she's a miserable person. It hurts to see how she can hold onto this core of poison pus in her soul and it makes her very unpleasant company. Long ago I chose not to be like that, and it's not that I let people walk on me or hurt me without responding to it, but then it's over or past and I learn my lessons and move on with a heart that is not scarred and a soul that does not weight me down. I sincerely wish you the best and hope you can find a way to llighten your burder a bit.

Thursday, March 01, 2007, 7:34 PM

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Try to look at bad experiences with people as learning experiences. Figure out what you can do better or how you could handle such situations better in the future. Then just chalk up the bad experience to a lesson that you got something positive out of. Forgiving doesn't mean that you have to forget the associated lesson, it just means letting go of the anger and bitterness. Knowing that something good came out of a bad experience can help. It's really liberating, and will make life a lot happier.

Thursday, March 01, 2007, 9:50 PM

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I think that when people open their mouths and let negative comments out, they are revealing a lot about themselves. I will reflect on what they say, and yes, it does hurt sometimes even if it is not true. But, if I don't believe that it is true or that there is anything I can do about it even if it is true, then I just let it go and take it as an educational lesson into the unkind nature of that person. Those negative experiences spur me to think before I say something mean and end up sounding like those jerks...

Thursday, March 01, 2007, 10:00 PM

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"You cannot change others, you can only change how you chose to react to them and the world in general. I think you will find that if you change yourself, then others will 'appear' to change, but in reality they are only reacting to the 'new' you. You might be surprised at what a different place the world is when you face it with a happy heart."

I find this to be very true!

Friday, March 02, 2007, 10:54 AM

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If everyone held all of the mistakes, snide remarks, and temper tantrums I've said/done in my life then I wouldn't have any friends! People are people and you're no more perfect than they are.

Friday, March 02, 2007, 12:56 PM

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OP here! Thank you guys for your sensitive and insightful answers. Its something I want to change in myself and am working on. I have a hard time in life the past few years, but, really, most of it is out of my control and I can only work on myself. I am striving to become healthier, emotionally and physically.

Thanks again!

Saturday, March 03, 2007, 7:35 PM

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