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OT - Connecticut or California

If you had your choice, where would you pick to live, Grotton, CT area or the San Francisco, CA area?
My husband has possible job offers in both locations. Currently we live in Michigan, so both would be a big move and a different life style.


Wed. Mar 14, 7:19pm

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Bay Area in a heartbeat. No question!!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 7:24 PM

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San Francisco...

I'm from the Chicago area and currently live in Boston. I think the midwest has a down-home kind of "niceness" to it. The east coast has a very distinct way of doing things. It's hard to put a word on it, maybe brusque? It's actually grown on me - the lack of "right of way" when driving, the staunch support for Dunkin' Donuts, the blue-collar accent, the lack of street signs, the Red Sox, the history and traditions (Patriot's Day? That's a holiday?).

I have visited SF once and thought people were over-the-top nice, the roads were easy to navigate, the weather was beautiful in December, the architecture is modern and gorgeous. It's expensive though.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 7:44 PM

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I'm originally from Michigan, too. Went to grad school in SF and then worked there, so lived there for 9 years total until my job transferred me. I loved it except that it was so expensive. Where in the Bay Area is the offer? In SF proper, it is a very liberal and friendly place. I was a bit freaked out by all the gays coming from a very sheltered rural life, but soon found out that they are really great people. In the suburbs, I think most are more conservative and not much different than any other suburb I've lived in (I've lived in 5 different states). I have several good friends who live in Marin county, and they are much like SF. Expect a very high cost of living. I lived in Buffalo, which I think has an East Coast mentality. I found it very hard to make friends as an outsider. I vote for SF/ Bay Area!

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 8:25 PM

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You shouldn't make a decision until you visit both cities and see what you can afford for housing in both. Your feelings about weather (do you need 4 distinct seasons?), activities, politics, proximity to visiting family, your potential career opportunities, and of course your husband's job offers will all play a role in your decision.

BTW, I grew up near SF and I now live in Sacramento, about 80 miles northeast of SF. My husband and I go to SF a few times a year for shows and dinner and other fun stuff.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 11:15 PM

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007, 11:48 PM

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Huge choice - seriously, visit both areas! I'm sure they both have their charms. Brace yourself for real estate price shock!

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 3:52 AM

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check out to see comparisons. Groton looks quite affordable. Do you enjoy small town life? If you're young you might be bored to death. SF is fun but very expensive but if you're making big bucks it could be a fantastic place to live.

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 4:01 AM

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No offense intended to anyone from the Bay Area reading this, but I am not from California and lived in the Bay Area for 6 years -- and HATED it. West Coast culture is just not for everyone. To me, many people there seemed incredibly selfish and incredibly self-obsessed. Every conversation turned into "memememe!" Maybe it's just a difference in interactive style, what is considered "okay" to talk about, etc., but I never could adjust to it. I was so glad to move back to the East Coast!

Also, cost of living in that area is out of sight! Not only are housing costs beyond insane, but just individual items at the grocery store -- deoderant, cereal -- are $1 to $1.50 higher than anywhere else. THAT adds up fast!

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 5:38 AM

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Come to the east coast! We've got 4 beautiful seasons and the fall here is like no where else on earth. The history of New England is so rich, you've got every type of attraction within an hour and a half drive (beaches in the summer, skiing in the winter). You can experience temperatures of 70 degrees one day and get a snow squall the next (happening right now actually). The red sox will break your heart but they're worth it. You'll get to experience the joy of rotaries and making your own right of way when driving. Some people may seem a bit calloused on first encounter but we're wicked nice when you get to know us. You'll be able to put jimmies on your ice cream, drink tonic and play candlepin bowling. And you get to say things like, "What was I thinking of going to Califahnia fah? That's wicked retahded."

Best of luck making your choice, but of course if you're being practcal, take the serious advice of previous posters. But if you do choose to come to the east coast, we have a lot to offer.

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 7:24 AM

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East Coast!

Oh my, there's no place like the east coast. While both states are very left wing, I personally couldn't handle California, let alone the Bay Area. I had a hard enough time with Austin, TX. I love being on the east coast. Yes, the weather isn't as nice, but the people are better quality.

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 7:36 AM

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Is it imperative that you move at all? Both states are going to be outrateously expensive in every way (don't forget to factor in taxes, not just prices), so much so that you may very well be cancelling out any monetary raise with a new job. I have live in many places, and I don't know that I would give up the good old midwest for either state given the condition of our economy now.

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 8:02 AM

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I would personally choose CA but you have to think:
$300,000 in San Fran = studio condo
$300,000 in CT = single family home

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 8:13 AM

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this is a neat site someone told me about months ago... you can put in suggestions of where you want to live as well and it weighs the pros and cons through questions it asks you about all parts of your life and preferences...


Thursday, March 15, 2007, 10:14 AM

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Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I really appreciate everyones point of view.

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 11:34 AM

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Well, I live in California and have all my life (41 years). All the posters have been right this far. It is way expensinve, some of the people suck and are really into themselves, others are way nie, and yes, the gay people ROCK once you get to know them. I live about 30 miles south of SF and don't interact too often, but most of my jazzercise instructers have been gay. Actually one of my best friends is a lesbian.
But there is alos lots of crime as well. I know nothing of the east coast, so I can't give my input. For me, being raised here, I have a job that supports the high cost of living, I am right up there with the rat race speed that everyone is going and anything else would make me crazy. Just going to the lake to visit my mom woule make me a little stir crazy.
So, I would really look at the realistic part and what works best finacilly for you. Good luck with your decision.
oh ya, and I LOVE the weather..........nothing better than Bay Area weather!

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 6:04 PM

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I actually grew up back East and now live in California. If I had my choice I'd move back East. I find that Californians seem friendly but it is very hard to really get to know people on a deeper friendship level. East Coasters seem more abrupt and rude, but they say it how it is and I feel you can make closer friends. I also miss having white Christmas's. It's just not the same. There are a lot of factors to consider. Hope this helps in your decision process.

Thursday, March 15, 2007, 6:17 PM

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