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Mom's I need your opinion...

I am a SAHM mom of two wonderful children. My son will be 2 next week and my daughter is 4 months. I have always loved being a stay at home but lately I feel trapped and overwhelmed. I am always grumpy and I have genrally bad disposition. I am making my husband crazy. I don't feel like I have enough help but then I am never willing to ask for it. I don't want to be away from my kids but I know I should. I am not sure if this is some form of postpartum or what????
Any feedback?


Tue. Mar 20, 7:18pm

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It could be some postpartum going on but I also think that no matter how much you love being with your kids almost any SAHM, myself included, feels trapped and overwhelmed some of the time. I think its totally natural. Do you get out with the kids much, do any toddler classes with other moms you feel like you connect with? For me I started doing more things outside of the house. I also let my husband know I needed more help. Storytime is a great place to meet other moms as well as community centers, most have some sort of toddler play time nowadays. Start looking for other moms to get together with more often so you can have some adult conversation outside of kids. Also I am fortunate enough to be able to take a whole day for myself. So once a week I have a sitter for 8 hours and I do my own thing. I think its good for the kids to be around someone else for a day and it is good for me. Everyone needs a break from the everyday even kids. So maybe if your can afford it find someone who will sit for you once a week or find another mom who also wants a break and swap kids for 2-4 hours, hell maybe you can find 2 moms and have a break 2x a week, of course you'd have to be willing to watch their kids also. And don't forget your husband, on the weekends he should be doing more to help you, even though we feel we shouldn't have to ask we do. He should take care of the kids for an afternoon so you can get a break. If your breast feeding maybe you can pump and store enough milk so he'll be able to feed the baby. Most of all, he can't read your mind, you are going to have to ask. Or in my case tell him, lol


Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 7:32 PM

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maybe-
how long has it been since you have seen a dr? Are you still taking prenatal vitamins? you should be taking something.
do you get together with any other moms?
try www.mamasource.com for your area- I just found it a few months ago-
check out craigslist for playgroups with young kids-See if the local hospital has any free classes with babies- or classes on baby massage- can meet other moms that way... get involved with classes at littlegym so your little one can get some exercise and you can also meet other moms... or gymboree or the local Y

We all feel like bad mothers from time to time- sometimes it just seems like everything is going wrong. Try and focus on the blessings in your life.
Spring is coming... getting out in the fresh air will help.
I myself, we are moving, I have a nearly 3 yr old boy, and we are down to one vehicle because we don't want to move a 3rd and register it here and then there... It is enough to make anyone feel a bit stir crazy.

You are not alone. Ask for help.

oh and I found help with www.flylady.net -mostly now just do a little at a time and know that even a little work is better than nothing at all. I am not a strict to the rule flybaby.- hence a little is better than nothing at all...

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 7:36 PM

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It's tough when they're small - I empathize. If you can at all afford it, join a gym that has daycare. I joined one and told them I could not afford the babysitting. It took some convincing and finagling, but I got them to include it in my membership. Now, whenever I go to the gym, I get the physical benefit of exercise and the mental benenfit of a break from the kids. And they love playing there, so it works out for everyone. But even if your kids take a little time to get used to it, it's still SO worth it!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 7:43 PM

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I agree with the above posters--try to find a way for some "me" time and figure out what you might like to do or how you would want to spend it. Would it be to scrapbook, read, shop by yourself, work on projects, sleep!? And figure out how you can accomplish it. Do you have the funds to hire a sitter or do you need to ask a family member (grandma, aunt, cousin) or even a friend? I was so lucky when my boys were preschool age--I had 2 friends and we swapped watching each other's kids 1-2 times a week. The kids thought it was great and so did all the moms. The tough thing is finding someone you're comfortable with as far as parenting, etc. Even if your 2 y/o could go somewhere you might feel some relief with having just one child under your care at a time. And if funds are low or the sitter/friend doesn't have kids to make an even swap, maybe you can be more creative with paying them back by providing them a meal or something. Just an idea. I guess the other thing to maybe figure out is why you feel so resentful. Is it because you don't have any alone time or because the tasks don't feel equally shared? If it stems from your husband and his part (or lack of), you should definitely talk to him. Maybe he is unaware or doesn't realize the effect it is having on you. I used to feel this way all the time and over time he helped more, plus I found ways to have alone time, or at least time together with my friends, even if the kids were still around. It's amazing how wonderful and uplifting it is to spend time with other moms/friends! And just a note of encouragement, it gets a little easier (in a sense) as they get older. You still have many demands put upon you and you are super busy but it's not as physically draining as when you're being awakened in the middle of the night or the kids are always hanging on you, nursing, being carried, etc. You get to the point where you feel like your body is yours again!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 9:17 PM

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I was a stay at home Mom for four children In many ways it was difficult in many ways rewarding. Part of the problem was i felt no support. i did get this magazine stay at home Moms and by my 3rd child i started a mothers group at my church. That is a decision in my life I will never regret. My children are grown now. I am so grateful to that time in my life. I know everyone can't do it but for me and believe me we sacrafice it was worth it. My best friends were also formed that time in my life.
Good Luck ! Follow your heart ! Discuss it with your hubby. You are a lucky woman in this day in age to find a man willing to support you. You know wether you work or stay home it is difficult! A womans work is never done. A man works from sun to sun!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007, 10:04 PM

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