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My team is not making it

I just joined recently, I log daily, I feel logging daily is essential to your goals. some of my team members I guess feel as if the weekend is not supposed to be logged. Water is poisonous, drinking at happy hour is zero calories. And not eating is the new diet.

I am trying to lose weight here, I may be in need of support soon. How do I help my team get the bigger picture without coming off like the know it all team mate from hell. Or should I just leave and find a more supportive knowledgable team elsewhere?


Mon. Mar 26, 9:54pm

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First, I would try to talk to your group mates and let them know how you feel. Sometimes what people really need is some tough love! Besides, that's what PeerTrainer is all about right? If you know someone will be holding you accountable for what you are doing to sabotage your diet, you will be more likely to behave.

At the same time, join other groups and teams - every one that looks promising. After a while you will find a group that is right for you. You will know it when you find them - that's what I did.

Monday, March 26, 2007, 10:53 PM

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yes I agree sometimes calling people on things make them see what they are doing to themselves. were here for accoutability to others so we can live heathier lives.

there are other teams out there as well as groups join some more for support.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 12:23 AM

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I, for one, have given up on trying to change people. Most people aren't going to "see the light" and agree with what you're saying, they're going to get defensive. I would just find a new group.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 8:11 AM

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Although in theory I agree with the first two posters, in actuality the 8:11 poster states what has most often been my experience. You can't change others - only yourself, so be the person you want to be and live your life according to what you believe. Then seek that out in others. If that means you need a change of scenery then so be it.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 8:41 AM

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I don't want to be totally down on people saying what they think, but pretty much have to agree with 8:11 poster that usually you cannot reform other people, so you should make a plan for yourself that doesn't rely on that.
Also please consider that in a forum like this (referring to PT generally) there are a good many people who are depressed, some mildly and temporarily and others severely, and depression impairs decision making.
The more aggressive kind of support only works with people who want it. Hopefully you can find a group with such people if you visit around, or maybe start a new one.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 8:52 AM

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I love the concept of PT, I am greatful to have found a great team because my group needs help. I would try and help them but it seems they have all dropped off the face of the earth. I understand that REAL LIFE a lot of the times prevents logging daily. And even worse is when you are gianing weight and you accept defeat without talking to your group for support.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 9:02 AM

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I don't think "reforming" other people is the way to go! Sometimes people don't realize what their week really looks like, until YOU, the constructive teammate, say "Hey, what's up with the hamburgers this week?" To me that's the point of the log, if I'm in a bad pattern and don't see it, someone else will.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 9:07 AM

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OP here... Basically I wanted to vent. I apoligies even though I know my team wont read this, lol. I don't know what day my mind may tell me I don't care anymore. I want to know that on that day my team will help me get thru that day. I started working out by myself because I didn't want someone elses mindset to take over mine, because quiting can be contagious.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 9:09 AM

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Get out of that team and into a different one.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 9:18 AM

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To the OP

Is your log public? I have gotten some really good feedback that way, especially when I log often, so it stays up close to the top. Out of sight, out of mind, you know.

I actually agree with everyone above, even though it sounds contradictory. we don't always know how eactly someone in our teams needs us to support them, until we are told how. We don't always know how we get across to others, until we get feedback. So try giving them the feedback.

Join other teams and groups, and learn from them, too. some people are FABULOUS at giving suggestions, information, or red flags without coming across like the know it all member. See how they do it, and practice. The best teams have great members, and we don't learn how to be great members without seeing and practicing.

And finally, some people will not learn or change, no matter what you say. When you have given it your best, for long enough, go ahead and say goodby. Sometimes the team dynamic is too poisonous for your wellbeing, and it is time to go. But for your sake and theirs, please don't go without trying to be the best member you can be. You might wake someone up, or you might not, but you will definitely improve yourself, and you are the only person you can change.

You have had great advice from all. Best of luck to you


mariarose

Tuesday, March 27, 2007, 9:53 AM

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