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Do men pay for dates anymore?

My daughter 24 in in a relationship with a 34 yr old professional. He makes much more money then her. They say they are in a serious with relationship with marriage as a goal. She is broke all the time now because she is continuing her education so she can be an RN . She said she is staying home to help me with the house because he is going out. They are going away together for Easter. she said she has to stay home and save her money so she can pay for her 1/2 of the vacation. I said don't men pay anymore when you go out. She told me it is a new era! Women pAY AS WELL AS MEN. I think the young girls have it so hard Aren't there any real men around who are willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility! I have been married for 25 years. I stayed home when we raised our children. Now I work and contribute a fair amouunt to the home. We are both very happy. I wish my daughter could find someone like her Dad1

Sat. Mar 31, 1:11pm

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Paying for a data is one thing, paying for a vacation, that's a totally different story in my book.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 1:26 PM

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you would think that if a person you are dating knows that you are low on cash because you are paying for school, that they might be a little more inclined to pay for a night out on the town. I do agree however that a vacation is a different story. my ex and I would split expenses for vacations - I did make less than him, and he and I would plan accordingly, looking for the best deals.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 1:46 PM

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I was raised in a way that is now considered old-fashioned. I still think it is the best way and I have raised my boys (and my daughter) the same way. But then, I've also raised them so that they probably won't be going on vacation with anyone who is not their spouse. If they do, it will be to meet their future spouse's family.

I know many of you will think that's horrible - but, please don't judge us so harshly. It works for us and my children are happy with it. I taught them the values and they now choose that path as well.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 1:49 PM

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1:49 I totally agree with you I am the op I tried to raise my daughter not to go away with boyfriend I agree about going on vacations But thisn't a vacation it is to visit one of HIS friends. I understand she is an adult and I have to let it go! It helps when I write and I know i am not alone with my feelings Thanks!

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 1:58 PM

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If they are in a serious relationship with a view to marriage, then they're not really in the wine-her-and-dine-her phase of the relationship, are they? Things change once someone's permanently in the picture. Just the nature of the beast. I would hope, however, they've both taken into account her financial constraints when planning the trip and pay accordingly, but I don't think he's is necessarily being ungentlemanly. He likely sees her as an equal in all things, not just the financial side. It's just easiest for parents to notice this aspect. As a young woman, I can tell you the days of us all dreaming for a man to "take us away" are gone. We don't have lowered expectations in men, just higher expectations of ourselves (not meant as a dig here!). I take myself away! If you've instilled good self-respect in your daughter, this probably isn't the problem you're thinking it is. Just my two cents. I hope they have a great time.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 2:03 PM

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my husband makes more than me, and he pays for "everything". i think it makes him feel good and me, well, i'm not complaining either. actually, all my boyfriends paid for "everything", too, and i can't imagine being w/ someone who made more than me and wanted to "split it down the middle". i'm in my 30s & am a teacher - it ain't that hard to make more than me, LOL.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 2:33 PM

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To 2:03 p.m.

My good friend was in "a serious relationship with a view to a marriage" and had her wedding called off by her fiance two weeks before their wedding.

A "view to a marriage" and "marriage" are two separate things.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 3:41 PM

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free dinners aren't free

I have a friend whose ex insisted on paying for everything, even though he made less money than her. He had a very traditional view of marriage, and of men being the breadwinner. Recently he broke it off, because he wasn't ready to take on what he saw as a huge responsibility and take a more steady job to play this role. Whereas my fiance and I always split things, and we both know that we will split all kinds of things in our future married life: childcare responsibilities, cooking, cleaning, and bringing home paychecks. Sometimes when you take the free dinner, I think you give up some options and some freedom (to continue your career, for example). Not worth it to me!

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 8:56 PM

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Night in armor

Well- I dated this last man... he had been planning a trip to Europe. He wanted to take me along- 3 months into our relationship.(Oktoberfest in Germany as one of the places) I told him (when he asked) that I had not saved any money to go to Europe, was not planning to, and it was his trip. He told me that was not what he asked, " do you WANT to go to Europe?" this went round a few times... so finally I said yes... When my mom found out she said it sounded like a honeymoon.
After the trip we still moved in together as planned... he proposed the next valentines day- we were married that next September.
He paid for everything... carried the bags, and got me a rose in every country. Now after almost 8 years of marriage he teases me when I forget to hand him leftover change from a purchase when he hands over his wallet or a 20... lol.

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 9:41 PM

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9"41 You are a lucky Lady. I guess romance still happens!

Saturday, March 31, 2007, 10:22 PM

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