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telling friends you're losing weight

as a fairly athletic person, i'm having trouble telling people im wanting to lose weight. including my boyfriend. i feel like if i tell people, they'll suddenly see i'm fat. or judge me for failing to eat better. and i don't like it when they tell me i don't need to lose weight. i look like that girl who's fit but put her in a bathing suit and you see the chub all around.

suggestions? should i tell my boyfriend i'm wanting to drop 20 pounds or just secretly try and eat better and exercise more?


Wed. Apr 4, 11:03pm

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I also feel uncomfortable telling people I'm trying to lose weight, even though I have a solid 60 pounds to lose.

I don't think it's everyone's business, but you should be able to tell your boyfriend. After all, that's part of communication, and I think communication is a huge factor in relationship success (just my opinion).

Wednesday, April 04, 2007, 11:09 PM

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I'm in a similar situation as well. I tell people that I am trying to be healthier, like making sure I get the exercise in and trying to watch what I eat. People seem to appreciate that and don't hone in on the "losing weight" aspect, though it's a wonderful benefit of getting healthy!

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 1:55 AM

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i have the opposite problem with telling friends i'm trying to lose weight. the thing is, i am doing this the "right" way, slowly but surely. i've been on this journey for a couple of years. i gained a lot of weight from medications, but have been off of them for 2 years. now my body has returned to almost normal, metaboloically, but not physically. for a long time, the outside of my body and my weight did not change much noticably, although my lab tests have greatly improved. finally, the outside is catching up with the inside!!! (yay)..but i run into people i haven't seen, only talked with over the phone, and i think they are surprised to see that i am still overweight even though i "claim" to be losing weight and have "claimed" this for two years now. sometimes i just don't make plans for fear of just feeling depressed the whole time because i don't look as good (yet) as i think others think i oughtta by now.

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 8:09 AM

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I don't tell people I'm on a diet because I hate it when mealtime conversation turns to "how many calories are in this?" and I become everyone's reference book for what they are eating. I'd rather have normal conversation.

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 9:24 AM

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OP here..

i wonder if it has something to do with telling people i want to lose weight means admitting i'm not perfect.

i have no problem telling certain friends but it's an issue with others and it's particularly an issue with my boyfriend. he knows i'm training for a race but i don't want to admit to him how much weight i want to lose. of course, it's not like he doesn't already know exactly what my body's like. but i don't want to tell him i can't eat dinner he made and stuff like that. maybe i worry he'd be like, oh, don't worry, you can enjoy it or whatever you want.

we're also trying to quit smoking and *that's* going horribly.

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 9:32 AM

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do you tell people you're trying to quit smoking?

When my husband was "trying to quit," he never told anyone. And I always thought that was silly. It was as if he didn't want people to see him fail at his attempts - - but it probably *caused* him to fail, too, because no one was expecting him to quit so he just went back to smoking. He finally DID quit (last Sept. - yay!) and it was the only time he ever told people he was trying. Like PT, I think he liked being accountable to those he told. And people kept asking him how he was doing. Each day he could tell them he hadn't smoked.

Anyway, my point is that I think some people don't like to tell anyone they're trying to lose weight because they don't WANT to be held accountable. They want the safety of being able to "cheat" and not have people think they've failed.

Know what I mean?

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 10:26 AM

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I didn't want to tell anyone I was trying to lose weight in the beginning, either. All the people who are close to me now know and I'm okay with that. I don't know what I was afraid of but I love the accountability! I told my husband right when I started, and he joined the gym with me and tries to eat as well as possible with me...most of the time, he's the one keeping me in line! As soon as I gave up a bit of my control, and allowed others to help me, I began losing weight quickly. OP, I think the best thing you can do is surround yourself with supportive people and let them know the kind of support you are looking for.

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 10:45 AM

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i don't like telling people i'm trying to lose weight b/c i've lost and gained weight so many times. it's embarassing to fail, yes, i never though of it that way. thanks for sharing your experience.

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 5:20 PM

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I didn't tell people when I first started for a number of reasons.
- What if I gave up after a few days or weeks? It's happened a dozen times before, didn't want to cry wolf again.
- If I made a deliberate decision to have a treat or had saved calories for a special meal, I didn't want to see the subtle glimmer of pity/disappointment from people who assumed I was failing. Again.
- Now that I've lost a large, noticeable chunk, I'm annoyed by people who are all like "how did you do it?", looking for that magic bullet.

Thursday, April 05, 2007, 7:36 PM

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I love the added accoutability and all of them have ben very supportive from My skinny friends to My heavier friends that are more like Me. they are all very supportive. they congratulate Me and remind Me when Im eating something I shouldnt.. I saw that you dont want that do you . lol so it helps to have a great network of support. thats why I love pt

Friday, April 06, 2007, 4:09 AM

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It depends on your family and friends. If you think they will bug you for everthing you put in your mouth, don't tell them. If you think they will be supportive go ahead. With my family - I just tell them I'm trying to eat better.

Friday, April 06, 2007, 6:23 AM

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I can't tell my friends/husband/family anymore, because they won't let me lose more weight. Now, I'm also not trying to lose more weight. But, right now, I weigh 113 lbs. For my height, a healthy BMI is 98 lbs to 132 lbs. 113 lbs is relatively right in the middle. I got here through dieting, eating a healthy 1200-1300 calories a day, and splurging on occasion. So, why does my family cringe at the thought that I'm still dieting? If I were to stop, I'd just gain it all back! Now I'm just maintaining.

Friday, April 06, 2007, 12:03 PM

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I say tell people b/c then you can possibly get support when you can't get to peertrainer. I sometimes need a friend to remind me to "think" before I want to eat that extra piece of pizza, or have another piece of chocolate.

Friday, April 06, 2007, 8:16 PM

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