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Pity Party - Apologies in Advance

My boyfriend of six years unexpectedly broke up with me this morning. We live together and he pays the bills. I'm starting a new job Monday, but I won't get paid for nearly a month. My parents want me to move home but I don't know if I can bring myself to do that. A year ago I left my job and city to move to be with him and I haven't made friends since I've been here. I don't know why I'm posting this...I guess I just need a friend, however impersonal.

Sat. May 5, 7:22pm

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I don't have any advice but I wish you well. I'm sorry you are going through this.

Saturday, May 05, 2007, 8:04 PM

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Just be strong! Borrow some money from your parents, start your job on Monday and by 15th you'll have your own first pay. For the b/f: well, if he's gone, that's life, dwelling on it won't help now. Friends.. well, you have to take care of yourself now, and maybe in this uneasy situation it's for the best. And then again, you'll start your new work, and maybe the friends will happen automatically. Or workplace romance. or whatever. The world is full of possibilitites, and return to the parents' house is a step back, not forward in your own life.

Shit happens.

or, then again -

Everything happens for the best.

Saturday, May 05, 2007, 8:42 PM

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Wow, OP. I'm so sorry to hear of your troubles. But thank goodness that you are starting a new job on Monday.. what if you were just suddenly having to LOOK for a job. I agree with the other posters, try to stick it out on your own, even if you have to borrow a little for a month. There are always free lectures at the library, and this will be a perfect time to get into a good walking program - have you explored your own neighborhood? Keep your chin up! We're here for you!

Saturday, May 05, 2007, 9:17 PM

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There's a reason for everything. It's time for a new life and clearly your on your way. New job, thats exciting, hopefully its something you enjoy. I agree with the above posters, borrow some money from mom and dad, but enough to get you through a 3 month period. Hopefully you have some savings and finding a place of your own won't be a struggle. This is the perfect time to concentrate on yourself, take full advantage of your freedom. Good luck.

Saturday, May 05, 2007, 11:30 PM

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So sorry to hear about what happened to you. It's going to be a rough few weeks, I'm sure...

I created a new team for you or anyone else who is struggling with this kind of situation. Search the team listing for "Heartbreak Hotel" and maybe you can find a sympathetic ear or two.

Saturday, May 05, 2007, 11:45 PM

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What city are you in?

I'm terribly sorry :-( Somehow it's never enough to be down - life's gotta make sure you're down AND out. I know that it hurts, but you're tougher than you know and you can get through this.

I understand where your parents are coming from - their daughter is hurting and doesn't have clear means of her own yet, so they naturally want to help you and having you move back in seems like the best way to them. If you are really committed to making it in this 'new' city (honestly it's time to discover the peopl and place where you live - you may see it with new eyes now that you'll be on your own) then it'll be a bit tougher without a network of friends, but it's definitely doable. However if the city you're in now has lost it's attraction, there's no shame in graciously accepting a helping hand if you need it. We all do from time to time.

Look on Craig's List too - it's a great place to find apartments, free furniture and maybe even some new friends (I met a wonderful book club there).

Sincerely wishing you the best - please check back in with us and let us know how you're doing.

Saturday, May 05, 2007, 11:57 PM

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OP Here

Thank you so much for your kind words everyone, I can't even begin to tell you how much it helps. Right now I'm leaning towards staying where I am (NYC) and I'm looking for apartments. My dad is retired and he will come up to help me look or move or anything...all I have to do is say the word. I guess right now I'm just trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

On the plus side, I can't eat much of anything so yay calorie reduction!

Sunday, May 06, 2007, 7:49 AM

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WTF, you move to a new city to be with your bf and he dumps you without warning before you get a paycheck. Honey, I would not cry over this guy. And I would, respectfully, ask him for a month's rent, at least as a loan. I know there are people on this list who will jump all over me for this, but.... He's not acting ethically if he's suddenly leaving you without a means of support for a month. Point this out to him.

But definitely don't move back home with Mom and Dad. You're not a child, I assume, and reassuming the role of one will not make you feel better.

Sunday, May 06, 2007, 7:50 AM

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i agree w/ 7:50. when i moved out after living & sharing bills with my ex, i asked him for first, last, security on my next place! he gave me half. we didn't work as a couple, but he wasn't a total d**k and knew i didn't make nearly what he did. i second the CL apartment-idea. taking someone's place in an apt is a lot cheaper than finding a whole new place on your own.

Sunday, May 06, 2007, 7:56 AM

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Good riddens to Bad News! Let I will survive be your theme song! I will lift you up in pray. You sound like you have good parents It will all work out.One day you will meet someone so much better then him and you will be grateful He let you go.

Sunday, May 06, 2007, 9:47 AM

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