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Scared to lose weight?
I’ve been overweight all of my life. I guess after twenty odd some years, it’s been both a comfort and a burden. This extra layer of fat is sheltering me from I guess life and reality. Of course I want to lose weight. Of course I want to be healthy. It is stripping off the fat to a “new you” is kinda scary to me. I tend to over analyze things, but I really think this is why it is hard for me to lose the weight. Anyone else understand what I mean?
Tue. May 22, 7:43pm
lol i guess not =(
Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 10:04 PM
ohh yeah i started this topic and answered my own question above...haha =)
Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 10:05 PM
Scared to Lose weight
Yup...I understand where you're coming from. I've struggled with weight much of my life as well and I've read enough self help books to know that on some level it serves a purpose for me. I actually think I feel "safer" fat because fat people in our society are invisible....and on some levels especially if you're shy, being inviisible is easier than being visible and social.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 10:10 PM
p.s to post above
An added thought to above posting. Because I'm invisible when I'm fat, I get lonely and then also eat to comfort myself which just increases the weight and continues the vicious cycle...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 10:14 PM
oh i know
oh i know exactly how you feel... i am worried that if i start changing people will really take notice of me. i think that right now i am fat and people just kind of accept me for who i am without really looking. what i am really scared of is people noticing hoe big i actually am. a few years ago my boyfriends cousin lost a bunch of weight for her wedding - all i heard was how good she looked but she really was big before. i couldnt believe people said these things and i am scared it will happen to me.
i am also scared i am goign to change to be a new person and i dont like change very much...
mind me asking you how old u are?? i'm only 22 and i am struggling with these issues.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007, 11:23 PM
I'm 25 and still dealing. When I lost 30 lbs when I was in high school, I did get more attention which was nice, but it does pass. What bugged me about some people was when I started gaining some weight back, they treated me differently. They treated me as if I was only worth talking to since I lost the weight. Mind you, Im not talking about friends or guys, but this was actually family members.
BTW, I'm Aimee =) thanks for your response! my sn here is hunpinay. Im still pretty new here, Lemme know if you wanna be in a group together! =)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007, 2:24 AM
In a way I do understand even though I'm not afraid of people noticing me if I lose weight. Twice I have lost major amounts of weight and both times put most of it back on. I think that even though on many, many levels I was soooo much happier thin, being overweight reinforces my inner most belief that I am not good enough. As a child I had a father that, no matter how "good" I was could always find some kind of fault. It was subtle, I'm not going to say I had a terrible childhood and was never abused or neglected. But kids are pretty perceptive and usually pick up on the real feelings of their parents. I grew up to marry a man who is just like my dad. I think that whatever we believe about ourselves on a gut level, we surround ourselves with people or circumstances that prove us to be "right". It doesn't make sense on a logical level but a lot of human behavior doesn't. Most people who have more than a few pounds to lose have some emotional component to their eating. The first step is acknowledging it. Good luck to you!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007, 9:43 AM
I am completely shocked at the 8:14am post... do you even know the emotional issues that come with being heavy? If you were ever fat, do you remember what it felt like to begin the weight loss process? How do you not become connected to something that has been part of your life and your body for so long? Isn't this supposed to be an encouraging place and not a place to cast judgement?
To the OP- I have been scared all my life to lose weight. Only recently did I figure out that I was afraid to be proud of my body due to lots of childhood drama. You have to let go of the past to create a better future. I am part of the Macrumors group and would love for you to sign on with us... we can encourage each other along the way.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007, 11:13 AM
OP, congratulations for looking at the real & deep reasons for becoming, being & staying overweight. Many people can lose weight, but dealing with the emotional aspects of weight gain/loss will help you to heal. You seem to be on a honest path of self discovery...this will help you lose to the weight when you are ready & also help you to maintain a new healthy lifestyle! Good luck with everything & keep talking through these issues!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007, 12:17 PM
thanks for your responses! It's great to hear from different point of views. To the 8:14 am comment, i appreciate the bluntness. Actually sometimes I do feel that I just need to get over it, but honestly, I do look forward to losing weight, but being over weight has not screwed up my life. As to the others, I appreciate the support & I'm glad there are others that feel or felt this way at some point of their weight loss. To the 11:13am comment, sure, I'll join your group. I'll try to find it =) Have a good day everyone!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007, 3:06 PM
I have that weightloss fear for another reason... I lost a lot of weight in high school, and did it only through very poor eating habits. I became terribly anorexic, and ended up having to go through counseling. Part of that counseling was realizing my triggers, and avoiding them... for me, it was stuff like scales, weigh-ins, food logs, etc. I couldn't cope with them, and I obsessed... obsession led to the anorexia, and it spun out of control... once I learned my triggers, I managed to spend a few years in a healthy manner... then, I was afraid of going to the extreme again when I hit a rough patch in life, and I quit watching my weight at all, afraid I would spiral back into anorexia... I started this peertrainer journey 40 pounds heavier than my ideal weight and fighting to take weight back off the healthy way... but I daily live in fear of taking it too far, and having the anorexia habits creep back in... my husband helps, but I still flip out over weigh-ins, etc., and I have to fight to make myself eat, instead of taking that easier way out... but I am down 13 pounds and going strong... I own a scale for the first time in 10 years, and I can log my food without obsessing. But it still scares me.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007, 3:57 PM
I do understand!!
I'm twice your age.... and I still feel that way sometimes, but I did manage to lose the weight anyway, and this time I'm not sabotaging that.
Thursday, May 24, 2007, 8:38 AM
I think this is the real beauty of this site. The ability to discuss real issues without feeling silly or judged by friends/family. I commend you for looking at the inside issues of why you are scared to lose weight. Is there a site or book that helps dig down and try to list reasons why you might be scared. What's working for you? What payoffs are you getting from your weight? Did something happen to you as a child that makes you scared? I at times feel I'm not necessarily scared of losing weight, but keeping it off. I hate the thought of being noticed by others for losing weight because then if I gain it back, they will really notice.
Sunday, May 27, 2007, 10:35 PM
Scared to lose weight
Sorry I just saw this posting but I just joined the site last week. For those of us who have always been overweight it can be hard to envision yourself looking and living different - even though it is all you think about. I believe this is what has also held back my progress in weight management and life. You have taken the 1st step in admitting your fear and helped me to see I have the same one. Thank you.....
Monday, May 28, 2007, 4:59 AM
I am 22 years old, and I always thought it was strange of me to be scared of being skinny. I mean, it sounds so crazy to say this but at times I prefer being invisible. While other times, I am scared that I will be lonely all my life. I like who I am now and know people who lost weight and became so self-obsessed. I don't want to be like that! We should form a group or something that deals with this issue, I have never said this to anyone in my life, because I feel like no one would understand.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007, 9:39 AM
That is the one issue that I have to fight. I am terrified to lose weight yet want with all my heart to be thin.
Three years ago I lost a huge amount of weight and started to be noticed by everyone. Especially men. So I gain almost all of it back. Now I am going for it all over again. I am determined that the remainder of my life will not be hampered by my weight. I want to experience life and yet at the same time I keep thinking what if?
I think that is why I was searching for a place where feelings and fears can be shared and maybe by the time I get to my goal or back where I was before I will be a stronger me and be able to face those fears head on.
So to all of you who are afraid to be thin. you are not alone.
Saturday, June 02, 2007, 1:17 AM
I'm in my 30s now. I lost a lot of weight in my 20s - which I quickly regained when I realized how much attention I got from men! Looking back, it completely scared and angered me that I was getting hit on more than ever. Some might say "wasn't it your confidence shining through?" Honestly, no. I lost all that way by starving - the issues I had which made me over eat were still there, I just acted out differently - there was no confidence there, just a skinny body. When I finally decided to lose weight again, I had to ask myself "am I ready for men to approach me more? am I ready for society in general to treat me different?" I think knowing that there's so much more to losing weight than "cute clothes" has helped me truly make a lifestyle change.
Saturday, June 02, 2007, 7:39 AM
yes. I don't know what I'd do as a thin girl. What if my husband left me? What if I wanted to leave my husband?
Saturday, June 02, 2007, 5:37 PM
I've been overweight almost all my life, and one day I decided it was enouph, I wanted to look good, to feel good... I'm doing it the right way, excercise and healty eating.... and I'm beginging to look pretty good, even damn good, but I can't deal with all the attention it gives me! alaways wanted women to desire me, but I get uncomfortable with them looking at me! I'm tall, v shaped, and now muscular, blue eyes! but I just can't deal with it, and I'm finding myself almost sabotaging my weight loss!!!!
It's just scary, because I know that in the end, when I'm at my goal weight my entire life will change, already people that I know or strangers act differently with me, women are nice to me!!!! it pisses me off even tough it makes me feel good in a way! Friends and women will tell you that looks are not important, but why are they changing there attitude towards me?
Asked the question to a friend that is a therapist, and she simply told me, if you feel good it shows, your envergy around you is good! and people feel it! Just to give you a example. I was almost at 25 pounds lost a few weeks ago, felt like a million bucks! and the connection with everybody was amazing, even if sometime I was uncomfortable with it, women connected to me big time! Few weeks later, didn't train, didn't eat well, felt like crap, felt fat! didn't have any good vibes from women, I tought I gained back like 10 pounds! when to the gym, weight myself, and I was the same weight!!! all in my head!!
It's all in our head people!
Friday, May 30, 2008, 1:48 PM
I feel the exact same way!
So I just signed up for www.myfitnesspal.com and wrote a whole blurb about myself and I wrote almost the exact thing. I am afraid to lose weight because I am afraid of letting someone love me and in my mind if i lose weight that is what is going to happen!
Saturday, August 14, 2010, 7:16 PM
I wrote a blog post on this very topic! I think it's a common issue for people who are very large. Here's to giving people like us a voice and a presence.
Sunday, August 15, 2010, 11:19 AM
im karina im 16 im also scared to loose weight im 5'2 and weigh 220lbs i often strat excersising then quit because i dont hav the righttools or instruments i use to ecercise with my 18 year old sister that weighs about 95lbs but she made fun of me and laughed or looked at me weird my grandma want me to loose weight and shes always had prefrences with my skiner cousin cuz shes perfect acording to her and ever since i was little she would judge me for being fat andd says i neeed to loose weight but when i need her to coopertate she doesnt she has a treadmil that she doesnt use and wont le me put it in my room because i use to hav one in my room but she gave it to my cousin and i dont exercise in front of people becuz they make fun of me or look at me weird andlaugh and make my selfasteam go down and take my motivacion away and especialy dont excersize in front of her husband cuz hes creepy and i really wanna change my life so any advice ???? srry about riting errors i dont rite very well in inglish but speak it good
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