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Moving out before finishing high school
i am thinking about moving out when i turn 18 in a couple weeks but i am not finished with high school. i cant deal with my step dad and the way he treats me and my mom but my mom aint going to leave him. PLEASE if you have any good advice please i do NEED it.
Wed. May 30, 4:10pm
hello. i used to be where you were. my advise to you is not to move out too soon. at least finish school so you can get a decent job because it is tough out here in the real world. i have been where you are, and i feel your pain. moving out is not a good option right now in my opinion. please give it some more thought.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 4:41 PM
Well, lots of people move out at younger ages -- I sure did.
The question is, how prepared are you to do this, in practical terms? You need a place to live ("in the car" is NOT an answer), you need a better source of income than most high-school students have YET you need to make sure you can always make your school requirements of attendance and homework. Can you figure out how to budget your time and your money?
It may be that your high school has a guidance counselor who can help with this, especially the parts about balancing your academic requirements with life on your own.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 4:45 PM
do you have a car and a license? do you have a job? have you ever done your own laundry and cooked for yourself? have you ever been grocery shopping? i think many young adults are in your position, but with the absence of home-ec in the most school curriculums these days, it is even harder to know what you will need to learn in order to "make it" out in the world, away from your folks. how equipped are you to find a place that you can afford? it's important that you don't just up-and-move-out, with no destination or ways to support yourself. and you will need to be vigilant about your friends not "crashing" over at your new place or otherwise causing you any problems. as someone who has no parents around you place of living, you may find there are many temptations out there that you will need to stand strong against. definitely consult a counsellor or therapist before making any decisions.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 5:01 PM
My advice is, when you turn 18, open a checking or savings account at a local bank, yourself, that no one else can access. You may be able to do this even before 18, depending on the branch. Then save up at least 3 months of living expenses (rent, food, gas, school supplies, etc.), plus first and last month's rent (you'll need it as a deposit to get a place of your own.) Once you have all this, and still a steady stream of income, then move out. You can't get back the "free rent" once you leave it (unless you are extremely lucky!), but with the savings, if something happens and you lose your job, or you need to spend more time concentrating on school and need to cut back your hours, you'll still be okay. Do not use the saved money for "extras" like parties, or trips, etc.
You also may want to talk over your plan with your mom, if you have a close enough relationship. She will probably be sad to see you go, but she may have some very valuable advice for you. Just because she "won't" take care of herself doesn't mean that she doesn't know how to, theoretically.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 5:34 PM
4:45 here again
Implicit in all the advice in the last 3 posts -- I think I should make it explicit -- is that you have to be willing to give up a lot of your social life. Making a living AND finishing school are going to take up most of your time and energy. If you're used to a lot of unstructured "hanging out" with friends, this may be a hard transition to make.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 5:40 PM
That's an excellent point. Why is it that you don't like living with your stepfather? Does he mistreat you by not letting you go out, or by abusing you in your home? If it's not letting you do what you want, well, really, you should probably just stick it out, while saving up money to move out and move on (to college??) after you graduate high school, because if you move out, you probably won't be able to do those things that you're "not allowed to do" anyway.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 5:50 PM
Wow what a coincidence. Im 17 and I just moved out of my house a little over a month ago, although I am almost done with school *1 day baby :) * I still have my work cut out for me! .. I wouldnt move out unless you have a steady, good paying job, have your education under controll and know you can get to school and get all your homework done while managing your work schedual. Remember rent isnt the only bill you have to pay lol. I would recommend making a budget plan and saving atleast 3 months of cost of living , just to see if you really can make what it takes to run your place in the amount of time you have to make it in.. lol does that make sense? anyways, the best of luck..in a way its kinda like dieting. If you really want to do it.. set your mind to it and you will ! :)
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 7:31 PM
If it's just that you're in a bad situation at home, perhaps you have a friend (with understanding parents) you could stay with until you graduate. You could offer to pay them some sort of rent, but you probably wouldn't be expected to pay towards all the monthly bills.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007, 8:32 PM
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