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Help, my daughter is overwieght too!

What can I do to help my 11y/o without hurting her self-esteem? We talk about what foods are good for you and how too much of some foods aren't healthy, I don't refer to things as "making you fat" but I don't seem to make much headway. She is 11 and I still serve her snacks and breakfast because I think she will eat way too much if I let her do it!! I feel like her being dependent on me is just as unhealthy as her weight. Despite my efforts she is still overweight at about 5'3'' she weighs 145lbs - she is built big (shoe size 9-10).

Sun. Jun 3, 12:23am

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Speaking as someone that has been in kinda the same boat as your daughter...

I wouldn't necessarily rush to say that she IS overweight. Large build for her height has a weight range of 131 - 147. I'm 5'2 and wear a size 9 shoe and I would say that 135 is *thin* for me. I'm not sure how old your daughter is and what her activity level is but I wouldn't immediately be alarmed.

I would say better thing is to put more emphasis on being active and participating in physical and engage in those things with her, rather than give her the impression that someone needs to monitor or ration her eating. Speaking from experience, I think I would have had a better and easier time as a teen and early adult if my mom had taken that approach over making me feel somewhat "ashamed" for wanting to eat.

Just my $.02

Sunday, June 03, 2007, 1:31 AM

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I'm in the exact same boat as you, OP. In fact, I think I AM you... My daughter is also 11, she is 5'2", she weighs 145 lbs and has almost outgrown a size 8 shoe.

And she is DEFINITELY overweight.... if she sits or stands just right, she looks like she is about 8 months pregnant. :-(

The main thing I've been able to do, is replace all the snacks & drinks in the house with healthier alternatives. There has never been sugared pop in the house, but she used to drink a fair amount of juice. They're now limited to 1 per day in her school lunch bag, and I've filled a basket with various flavours of Crystal Lite powders for her to drink instead.

I also joined Curves last summer, on their "mother & daughter plan" (they have it again right now). She was big enough to be allowed in, even though she was under their minimum age. I signed us both up under the guise of "I need you to come with me to help keep ME going"...

Further than that, just serve slightly smaller portions and more fruit or veggies(for BOTH of you). If you don't make an issue of it, she may not even notice.

Again, if your daughter is like mine, she'll jump at any chance to go for a walk or bike ride with you, just to be WITH you.

Unfortunately, they say you can't put a growing child on a weight LOSS regime... but if you can help her to maintain that weight, while she grows into it...

Sunday, June 03, 2007, 10:28 AM

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5;3 and 145 pounds at the age of 11 is undeniably overweight. OP, I commend you for caring and reaching out and making an effort to help your daughter. The best way is to show her what her life will be like in the future if she continues her current bad habits. She won't get the guy she wants. She wants to get married, correct?

Sunday, June 03, 2007, 11:00 AM

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Jeez people, way to harass an 11 year old. Try to think back to when you were that age, and how sensitive you were to all criticism, appearance issues etc. "She want's to get married doesn't she?" !!! Now that's something an 11 year old should be worrying about. *sheesh*

Sure take this tack, make her miserable, 'cause that ALWAYS helps people lose weight.

Or maybe you could get rid of the unhealthy food around the house, have plenty of appealing looking fresh fruit and veggies (snack platters) around, make sure that the food you serve is both tasty and healthy. Ask her to cook or make salads and stuff with you. Plan meals, picnic menus etc together.

Go do some fun physical activities together - hiking, canoeing, etc. Get a rebounder - it is a seriously FUN piece of exercise equipment. Bounce in front of the tv or dvds, or dance on it. Sooner or later she'll want to try it out. Go somewhere they have DanceDanceRevolution and do it with her. Do a daily evening walk and ask her along. She'll be a teenager soon enough; use these last few years to build some bonds, not alienate her.

Sunday, June 03, 2007, 11:17 AM

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I was over weight as a child. (kind of a long story of how it happened if you want to know more just ask)
My mom put me on a diet.

Best thing she ever did.

I was normal weight if not slender in high school and I never developed an eating disorder or anything like that.

I have many friends who have been overweight from child hood and never had what my mom gave me. These young women struggle with it even more as their problem grows exponentially with coming years.

An over weight child becomes an obese adult if there is no intervention.

I am slightly overweight now because of a few bumps in the road, but this is me at my heaviest in my adult life but I think i would have had a much more depressed teen life if I had been heavier. being a close friend to 2 girls in high school who were very over weight I saw how much ti caused them pain.

thanks to my mom I never got a chance to become "obese". I can't imagine how over weight i'd be now If my mom hadn't taught me that life lesson. Maybe I'd be like my friend Lisa who is my same age and over 100lbs over weight. We looked about the same weight at 11/12.

I am not encouraging you to do what My mom did to me; My solution isn't going to be the right thing for anyone. but you definitely cannot take it sitting down


Sunday, June 03, 2007, 11:26 AM

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