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What do you do w/unwanted teammates

Other than politely asking someone to find a group that is more suitable to their needs, what does one do when a group has been outlined with very specific guidelines and the people who join that group are not willing to follow the guidelines?

Sun. Jun 10, 6:51pm

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It depends on the guideline, is it because they don't have the finances and sort of do it the best way they can or is it that they just don't want to do it. We have a group member that isn't hardly logging, but we don't know what she's going through so we don't judge, we figure that when she ready, she'll get on board. As long as I'm doing my part and losing, that's all I can do besides continue to encourage.

Sunday, June 10, 2007, 7:54 PM

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OP here:
No, it has nothing to do with the guidelines being out of reach - and if they had read the guidelines why would they have joined that particular group if after reading the guidellines/goals of the group they knew they couldn't participate? It sure doesn't make sense to me....if the group you join does Yoga and you don't do Yoga, why would you join?????? There are pages and pages of groups to join, why would't they pick one that meets their needs instead of taking up space in a group that you know is not for them?

Sunday, June 10, 2007, 8:31 PM

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People see things in vary differentways I think. Obviously if it says for yoga, and you dont do yoga, that is a different story here. I have seen a lot of groups that appear to be what I think they are and aren't really. But, there are many diets out there and many different ways of giving and receiving peer support and motivation for people. I think it depends on the specifics that you put in the group profile and how specific you are as to what kind of people you are going to get that join your group. For example, what might be considered "a large quantity of weight" to some, might be 40 lbs. To others, it might be 100 lbs. For others, 20 lbs might feel like a lot.

Remember... people come from different backgrounds and weigh all different amounts, but can be supportive as well. We are all here for the same common goal of losing weight and changing bad patterns.

Sunday, June 10, 2007, 8:47 PM

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I had this same problem when I had a group specifically for vegetarians, and everyone who joined ate fish. It was really, really irritating, so I ended up just deleting the group.

Right now, I'm on a team with a girl who eats absolutely nothing and works out for more than two hours a day. I'm starting to log on Traineo just to get away from the ridiculously unhealthy attitudes of some of the women on this site.

Sunday, June 10, 2007, 11:26 PM

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i dont have that in any of my teams or groups

Sunday, June 10, 2007, 11:33 PM

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How do you delete a group?

Monday, June 11, 2007, 8:13 AM

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When I "deleted" mine, I just stopped logging for a few days and everyone started leaving the group, when I was the only one in it, I made it private.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 11:14 AM

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maybe someone would like to learn more about the benefits and practice of yoga, so that person joins a yoga team. if the person stays beyond any obvious signs that he/she knows little about yoga, wouldn't you guess that the person is benefitting from being in the group anyway?

Monday, June 11, 2007, 11:22 AM

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11:22: these groups are supposed to be filled with people of like mindedness and similar goals, not "onlookers". If someone wants to learn about the benefits of something like Yoga, they should read a book or attend a class then be prepared to participate in the groups activites BEFORE joining.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 2:16 PM

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um, oh. i thought support meant teaching, advising, offering tips and constructive criticism, all-around aimed at helping our peers attain their goals. maybe the next time you start a group, or maybe you can edit the current group's details, you should be specific about the fact that you only want people like yourself, who have the same goals and know the same things you already know, who don't expect to learn from or teach anything to you. "these groups are supposed to filled with....."according to what standard? some groups are not filled with people who are all alike. some groups actually seek out a diverse bunch to offer experiences from many viewpoints.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 2:23 PM

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Amen sister!


Monday, June 11, 2007, 3:03 PM

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I totally agree with 2:23. If you are not specific as to what you want in the group that you are starting you get what you get. There are people out ther looking for peer support, thus seeking out "PEER trainer". Its funny this post was brought up because I actually joined a group where the lady that started the group wanted everyone to weigh on the same day and post their weights. Everyone in the group had to be on the same challenge each week such as "no sweets" or "no salty foods", and basically acted as though it was her group and kindly (in a drill sargeant kind of way) asked me to vacate because I suggested that people eat differently and weigh on different days. (This is all within the first few hours of joining)

Not all people are on the same eating plans, weigh on the same day, post their weights (although they post # of pounds lost), or various other strange quirks about people. Everyone here is different. Being different does not mean you cannot challenge for instance to exercise more, drink more water, etc... and give support to those in your group.

This group was listed for those that wanted to log daily, be challenged, and provide support. All of these things I do very well in my other groups and was seeking to find support from like minded others. The things I don't do are weigh on a particular day of the week or post it my weight and eat what someone else tells me to eat or not eat (God knows we all struggle enough just to stay healthy and not feel deprived).

There is no leader or dictator of these "peer" groups. We are all here for the common goal of improving our health, looking good, feeling better, and losing weight. Thanks for all of you out there who are providing postive feedback on these threads. It is very helpful and has been since joining PT.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 4:54 PM

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This is to 8:31PM OP

I can tell you don't have a man with that bad attitude of yours and if you do, I know that got to be the most miserable person in the world. God Bless You

Monday, June 11, 2007, 5:28 PM

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I think YOU are the one with the bad attitude.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 7:04 PM

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I thought when you started a group you basically were in charge of how you wanted that group to run. Not so? If not, why start your own group?

Monday, June 11, 2007, 8:54 PM

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My thoughts on 8:54's comment

I think you start your own group for the purpose of getting a certain type of people together. You are not necessarily in a leadership position, but just to start the gathering of people with a common goal. For example: Yoga, Weight Watchers, Single Moms, Atkins, College Students... the list can go on and on. I may be in the minority here, but I am thinking just because you start the group does not necessarily make it "your" group. All that join a group should be equal and able to contribute to how the group runs.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 9:22 PM

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agree with 9:22 above

I actually did start my own group once, and in about a month HAD TO LEAVE IT MYSELF as I simply couldn't bear those people who joined me anymore! I can tell you for sure, people either do not read the group descriptions, or they absolutely don't care.. Of course, all of us have different ways to go in understanding what does a group called 'committed to a healthy lifestyle' (I just made it up) means, but I'm wasn't happy to be in a group with a super-obese-still-on-KFC-daily-diet, an anorexic teenager, and a person who never logged in.

GO FIGURE IT OUT...

Monday, June 11, 2007, 10:26 PM

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I love diversity and I think we can all learn from each other. But, what do you do with members who dont post at all? I am in three groups and one team, and out of 12 people in my different groups, only 4 post, and 3 havent posted at all in almost a week. What then? I am new so I dont know if this is normal or not.

Monday, June 11, 2007, 11:29 PM

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9:22, I have to agree with you. And from reading the OP's remarks, that sounds like what he/she was trying to do. Here's the thing, we do all approach weight loss differently (4:54), however, in the same way that you feel the Lady in your old group was dictating to you what to do,eat, etc, you are doing the same thing to her with out realizing it. Maybe she can't lose weight using your particular approach, hence her "guidelines". Why can't she be in a group with people who lose weight the same way she does? That's the beauty of PT community, we are ALL entitled to find a group that "fits" our particular needs.
To the OP, about all you can do is leave your group and/or "politely ask people to leave". Good luck finding what works for you...keep searching and don't be hemmed in by people who have a different philosophy than you. Finding and doing what works for YOU is imperative to success in PT.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007, 10:46 AM

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Correction, it's 8:54's comments I agree with

Tuesday, June 12, 2007, 10:47 AM

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